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Decent Jokes For Decent People! - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 9:41pm On Mar 26, 2012
Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it.
The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!

cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Standing in front of a boutique I noticed an impatient looking young man (Mikuz) approach an attractive woman (booqee) “would you mind talking to me for a few minutes?” he asked her “why?” she countered suspiciously.”my wife (vicky) has been in this shop for a long time” the man explained “But I know she’ll come out if she see me talking to you”

cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

“Just relax”, the hospital staff kept telling Jim, but it was to no avail. Jim’s wife was in labor and Jim was a nervous wreck. After what seemed like a week, to both Jim and the hospital staff, a nurse came out with the happy news, “it’s a girl”, she cried. “Thank G-d, a girl”, said Jim, “at least she won’t have to go through what I just went through!”

cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy


Mikuz say cheese!

Q. How do you get a mouse to smile?
A. Say cheese!!

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 9:50pm On Mar 26, 2012
A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife. “Really?”, one of the men said, what’s it called? After thinking for a few seconds the Harry said, “what are those good smelling flowers called again?” “Do you mean a rose? the first man questioned. “Yes that’s it,” he exclaimed. Looking over at his wife he said, “Rose what’s that restaurant we went to the other night?” grin grin grin grin

cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Patient: Doctor! I have a serious problem. I can never remember what I just said.

Doctor: When did you first notice this problem?

Patient: What problem? embarassed embarassed

cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

A man died and went up to heaven. Upon arriving he noticed two signs One said “Men Who Are Bossed By Their wives,” the other one said “Men Not Bossed By Their Wives.” After closer inspection he noticed that while next to the first sign was a big line, by the second sign there was just one man. After getting even closer he realized it was his friend Harry. “Hey Harry” the man questioned “what in the world are you doing here? Your wife bosses you around more then anybody.” “I don’t know” Harry replied “my wife told me to stand here.”

grin grin grin grin grin grin

more to come! wink
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Nobody: 10:20pm On Mar 26, 2012
very very good jokes, swtchicgurl!!!! grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by angelsing(m): 10:32pm On Mar 26, 2012
nice jokes gf.. Seriously ur skin looks so radiant. Hope its not photo shop ooo?. No offence but if dat skin is for real, it is really amazing..smiles
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 11:24pm On Mar 26, 2012
angelsing: nice jokes gf.. Seriously ur skin looks so radiant. Hope its not photo shop ooo?. No offence but if dat skin is for real, it is really amazing..smiles

tnx sweetheart! i'm humbled by ur comment *blushing*
it's simply me ooo just doing my thing *modelling* smiley smiley smiley
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by bright007(f): 12:57am On Mar 27, 2012
Good yokes!but remeber dat some ŵėřē copy-copy!
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 1:02am On Mar 27, 2012
bright007: Good yokes!but remeber dat some ŵėřē copy-copy!

shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked unbelievable! the first nice comment i'm getting from you!
tnx! grin
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by bright007(f): 1:08am On Mar 27, 2012
undecided undecided
swtchicgurl:

shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked unbelievable! the first nice comment i'm getting from you!
tnx! grin
Wats unbelievable?
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 3:50am On Mar 27, 2012
Once two ladies came before King Solomon, fighting over a boy. “He’s my son-in law” one said “No he’s mine” countered the other. After thinking for a few minutes the King finally decided on a ruling. “Bring me my sword and we will cut the boy in half, they will each get half.” “No” the first lady screamed “don’t cut him in half I would rather the second lady get the whole son-in-law.” Ah Hah said King Solomon with a big smile I now know who is the real mother-in-law. For a only the real mother-in-law would stand quietly while her son-in-law gets cut in half.”
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by bright007(f): 6:51am On Mar 27, 2012
swtchicgurl: Once two ladies came before King Solomon, fighting over a boy. “He’s my son-in law” one said “No he’s mine” countered the other. After thinking for a few minutes the King finally decided on a ruling. “Bring me my sword and we will cut the boy in half, they will each get half.” “No” the first lady screamed “don’t cut him in half I would rather the second lady get the whole son-in-law.” Ah Hah said King Solomon with a big smile I now know who is the real mother-in-law. For a only the real mother-in-law would stand quietly while her son-in-law gets cut in half.”
I must say,seriuosly dat this one no funny at all.even d original version from d bible no be joke
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Ruqaya(f): 8:48am On Mar 27, 2012
Very funny and nice jokes. More grease to ur elbow.
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by dani1luv: 9:15am On Mar 27, 2012
so, you mean am not decent?
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Nobody: 9:29am On Mar 27, 2012
Thank you swtchicgurl! U just made my day!
Dis d funniest thread i've seen so far. Keep it up!
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by ekeroyal(m): 3:43pm On Mar 27, 2012
swtchicgurl: Once two ladies came before King Solomon, fighting over a boy. “He’s my son-in law” one said “No he’s mine” countered the other. After thinking for a few minutes the King finally decided on a ruling. “Bring me my sword and we will cut the boy in half, they will each get half.” “No” the first lady screamed “don’t cut him in half I would rather the second lady get the whole son-in-law.” Ah Hah said King Solomon with a big smile I now know who is the real mother-in-law. For a only the real mother-in-law would stand quietly while her son-in-law gets cut in half.”

Besides this useless and stale joke, others are nice. Well done.
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by jackpot(f): 4:53pm On Mar 27, 2012
someone should tickle me so that I can laugh! smiley
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by vicky6: 6:02pm On Mar 27, 2012
cool and nice cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by jackpot(f): 6:20pm On Mar 27, 2012
~vicky~:
cool and nice cheesy cheesy cheesy
hi, you are cute wink
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by vicky6: 6:30pm On Mar 27, 2012
jackpot: hi, you are cute wink

thanks
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 9:19pm On Mar 27, 2012
booqee: Thank you swtchicgurl! U just made my day!
Dis d funniest thread i've seen so far. Keep it up!

Ruqaya: Very funny and nice jokes. More grease to ur elbow.

~vicky~:
cool and nice cheesy cheesy cheesy

thanks girls! u're the bestestssss cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 11:21pm On Mar 27, 2012
MORE JOKES:

A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
The German responds, "I will take oil!"
So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times.
When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!"
says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch."
What will you take on your back?"
the Amazons ask the American.
He responds, "I'll take the Mexican. grin grin grin

cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Mother-in-law's Funeral

A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law.
As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said: Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway.
I know he replied, I thought I saw her move! grin grin grin

cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Blonde weighs baby
At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.
The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.
"That won't work," countered the woman.
"I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt." grin grin grin
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Ruqaya(f): 12:46pm On Mar 28, 2012
Very funny and cool jokes, i like 'em
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by dani1luv: 2:23pm On Mar 28, 2012
where r the jokes??
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by angelz(f): 3:12pm On Mar 28, 2012
9ice
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by baroong: 4:24pm On Mar 28, 2012
funny Post me likey
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by bunmioguns(m): 5:12pm On Mar 28, 2012
u got me laffing. . .kip it up
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by vicky6: 5:28pm On Mar 28, 2012
dani1luv: where r the jokes??


inside ur boxers



he goat
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by dani1luv: 5:31pm On Mar 28, 2012
~vicky~:



inside ur boxers
wink wink wink kiss kiss kiss undecided undecided undecided
stop kissing me. .am not a lesbian angry angry
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by vicky6: 5:46pm On Mar 28, 2012
ok u re gay











sorry 0




he- goat
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by dani1luv: 5:53pm On Mar 28, 2012
~vicky~:
ok u re gay











sorry 0




he- goat
me?? undecided



cant you see!!! undecided


am no longer a male





now a female!!





otondo!! grin angry
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by CArt(m): 5:57pm On Mar 28, 2012
swtchicgurl: MORE JOKES:

A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
The German responds, "I will take oil!"
So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times.
When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!"
says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch."
What will you take on your back?"
the Amazons ask the American.
He responds, "I'll take the Mexican. grin grin grin

cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Mother-in-law's Funeral

A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law.
As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said: Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway.
I know he replied, I thought I saw her move! grin grin grin

cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Blonde weighs baby
At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.
The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.
"That won't work," countered the woman.
"I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt." grin grin grin

Cooooooooool,keep up the good work. grin
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by olufunmibi(m): 6:12pm On Mar 28, 2012
Nice one sis.
Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by vicky6: 7:34pm On Mar 28, 2012
dani1luv:
me?? undecided



cant you see!!! undecided


am no longer a male





now a female!!





otondo!! grin angry


now a shegoat nt female

castrated fowl

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