No Friends, Scared To Make Friends

Hey, Girls and boys, Give me your views please.

My girl has been in jos for 5yrs now while am in lagos.I really find it difficult to make new friends - girls.Because i promised my girl never To put another girl in her place.Let me explain. Am a kind of guy every girl would like to be hers.So i avoid them as much as possible.So right now its as if i don't even hav a girl friend.That because i don't want to cheat. Do u think this is right?

You are anti-social! lol just kidding, But i really see no harm in making many friends, its a matter of knowing and focusing on the limits. I make friends like everyday, and many thanks to seun (and his lil chat portal present), i now have many on my messenger lists too , infact, I may be seeing some of them real soon , But the bottom line is to know what u r doing at all times.
If u r the type that finds it a bit difficult to stay with ladies and not want them then plzzzzz continue the way u r going for now.

if thats your only way of remaining loyal and faithful to her, then i guess it's right

In the end, your girlfriend will be assured of your faithfulness when she finds out -- especially if she suspects you later on in your relationship.

U got that right Rhodalyn, if dats d only way, keep it up so u don't make urself vulnerable.

You can still have female friends and still be loyal. as someone mentioned, itz all about knowing what you want and having limits, I have a b/f and still I have more male friends tham female, That is how it has alwayz been for me though cuz girl's wahala is too much and maybe cuz I grew up among boys but I meet people everyday both male and female, itz no harm having female friends but it becomes harmful when u don't have control over it. Eitehr guys or gurls shouldn't control your emotions good luck

I even have my girl's picture as my nokia 6600 wallpaper,as if that is not enough, i have a small pics of her pasted on the back.I even plan to get it printed on the back of my phone through heat transfer. All these is because i love her so much,and if any girl trys to come close,they see all these and will become some how jealous or pissed off.

Hi Kave. Not meaning to sound rude or harsh or come through as a love doctor or something, I dont think you're emotionally ready for a relationship. You need to give yourself more time to get to know and understand girls. there's absolutely nothing wrong in having female friends when you're in a relationship. Having casual female friends doesnt mean you're cheating on your girlfriend provided you've decided to remain loyal to her.

I'm just wondering how u'd cope if the same girl left u for someone else?

I Avoid Female Friends So I Won't Cheat On My Girlfriend

well i dont think avioding other females is not the answer at all, you gotta face
your problems, thats the only way you can overcome, is all about self-control
if you can control urself there wont be a problem,
.but staying away from other chicks aint the anwser _{at least i dont think}

Well if she leaves me, , , I will cry.But i will get over it and will never venture into a distant relationship anymore.

I respect your desire to stay true to your girl, if u think your social life can survive without female friends it's all gud but if you think keeping female friends will lead you into temptation then stay away.

if u do than than u are not a true to ya girlfriend
becos what does ur girl friends has and she dont have it?

that is very right kave, u are doing the right thing. chicks can be viscious little asses. so keep it up, just hang with ur guy friends ok. plus friends with the opposite sex is soo overrated

Avoid temptation by all means possible. The good book says "lead us not into temptation" we are human and sometimes things can get out of hand.

Kave:

No Friends, Scared To Make Friends

Hey, Girls and boys, Give me your views please.

My girl has been in jos for 5yrs now while am in lagos.I really find it difficult to make new friends - girls.Because i promised my girl never To put another girl in her place.Let me explain. Am a kind of guy every girl would like to be hers.So i avoid them as much as possible.So right now its as if i don't even hav a girl friend.That because i don't want to cheat. Do u think this is right?

Hmm Kave, I'm going to give my own opinion, which may be quite unconventional. Just from reading your post, I have concluded that you enjoy female attention and therefore don't trust yourself with them. Before you strangle me  , hear me out. First you say you have no friends simply because you don't have any female friends If you have male friends, then you have friends . From where I stand (or rather, sit), it seems to me that you equate having friends with having female friends. That to me screams "I love female attention".

Second you're saying that you're the kind of guy that every girl would want to have  Now aint that just funny. Listen, don't take this personal dear, but you need to realize that a guy that thinks that every girl wants him is just full of himself and enjoys female attention.

The way I see it, your problem is not to avoid females altogether -- that would be impossible because you can't do that on a sustainable basis. You'll always have to deal with females and might have to be friendly toward them in one way or another (whether at work, as classmates, etc). You need to first get that ridiculous thought about every girl wanting you out of your head  and then work on being able to maintain strictly platonic friendships with the opposite sex. Having your girlfriends pix everywhere doesn't quite cut this one.

I'm more worried about the fact that you're saying that you don't have any female friends because you don't want to cheat. Must having female friends equal cheating That sounds to me like someone who's out of control . So the problem is definitely deeper than not wanting to bring someone inbtw you and your girlfriend. You need to work on your self control man.

@WindyWendy

You need to work on your self control man.

Its a guy thing, there are those that have raging hormones and it goes beyond working on your self control. It is subconscious. The hormone adrenalin for fight, flight and fright how do you control it to be calm in the face of danger

Dalby:

@WindyWendy
Its a guy thing, there are those that have raging hormones and it goes beyond working on your self control. It is subconscious. The hormone adrenalin for fight, flight and fright how do you control it to be calm in the face of danger

In that case he's better off staying away from dem ladies But then I really feel sorry for whoever becomes the wifey 'cos there's no way he won't come into contact with ladies Or perhaps he'll hook up with a female with raging hormones that go beyond self control and they'll live happily ever after

hahaha never really thought of that windywendy

hmmmm

if u are gonna cheat, simple u will. if u don't wanna, u won't!

Sometimes guys get overly cautious, which there is nothing wrong with. I'm that way too, so I seem to understnad his point, although he might not have explained everything else about his personality. If he's reserved, and doesn't keep much guy friends, not deliberately avoiding them, but deliberately avoids girls, I dont think he should qualify as being full of himself if he says he knows his way around womens heads and doesn't want to tempt himself.

I dont see anything thing wrong with his doings. I'm a kind'a guy that puts all energy in one thing at a time. If I dont see any reason to have a female friend, then why have one? Just for the hell of it? If he thinks he just doesn't have anything to talk about with a girl that aint his, then I dont see anything wrong with not keeping any chit-chat female pals.

macalurs u said it bro, looks having hte opposite sex as friends is so freaking overrated, i dont know where u all get the idea that it's necessary, imean all hte guys want to do is sleep with u, and if u are a good looking guy, so do the girls. so like i said keep it up, i mean waht happens u make some female freinds u sleep with them, u forget their names ina couple of months, but u will always remember the gonorrhea they gave u, and the guilt if u are a decent man.

whose business is that ?

Sorry peeps, I understand perfectly with this guy. I have a few female friends, and i am always a hit with them; eventually i always find that i'm coming onto them or they are coming onto me. So i run. I KNOW that me, as a person, i'm a bundle of testosterone so i dont't even play with fire. Cool, some poeple will say they can keep level headed.
I know how to get beyond a woman's head into her heart and believe me once you are there, you have her completely. So sometimes i'm scared of myself and i keep off so that i can stay faithful to my boo - she's a wonderful bundle of hormones too - you shd see us together!

Gridlock , you can stay faithful to your boo?

isn't boo suppose to be a guy/man?

I think the term goes both ways

The Guy Is A Liar. All Guys Look For Opportunities to Cheat.

Im Tired of All These Holier than Thou Purity Facades.

Whoosh. We all Cheat. Whether in Imagination of 4 real. Men Cheat.

Ladies, Thats the Hard Fact.

look at your teeth.

You cheat. We know that. You don't have to try to make yourself feel better by imposing your weakness on others. Men cheat. Do all men cheat? no.

macalurs:

look at your teeth.

You cheat. We know that. You don't have to try to make yourself feel better by imposing your weakness on others. Men cheat. Do all men cheat? no.

U Mean This?

@Pain-man, Yes I do.

My dad is 1. My dad does not, cannot, and will not cheat on my mum. I still do have problems with the guy, I'm not in the least of ways saying this to make him look good.

My dad has a frigid personality, like many other men do. He takes his morals strictly, all black and white, no grey. It worked against me growing up, but it worked out perfect for my mum.

My point is different people have different personalities; some personalities do not permit certain people to decieve themselves, and vice-versa.

If that works for you, then there is nobody that has the right to tell you that it does not. After all, the topic is subjective.
_{All you psychologists, do you have a degree?}