A man was praying to god.


He said, "God?"

God responded, "Yes?"

And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"

"Go right ahead", God said.

"God, what is a million years to you?"

God said, "A million years to me is only a second."

The man wondered.

Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"

God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."

So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"

And God cheerfully said,

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
"Sure!, .just wait a second."


Oh My GOD

lol

My God is not wicked *singing praise and worship and dancing*

smart reply from above

Sussy nice one. Nice name too. So in how many seconds can we hook up?

5 million light years to hook u guys up

Dont make fun of ur God!

Am not and i can not make fun of my God He is my all in all my Alpha and Omega

iwajay:

Sussy nice one. Nice name too. So in how many seconds can we hook up?

It will only take you 5 seconds,hope that is fast.

Once upon a time in a village,
a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10.
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around,
went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish,
the villagers stopped their effort.
He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20.
This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little
that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50!
However, since he had to go to the city on some business,
his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers.
Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected.
I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs50."

The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!! !
Welcome to the "Stock" Market!!!!!

Is that man an Igbo man?

Brilliant!! He gains on the average.

oge4real:

Is that man an Igbo man?

maybe maybe not

maybe, maybe not

nice one poster

some might call it cheating, others robbery but i chose to call it intelligence

NOBLESON:

some might call it cheating, others robbery but i chose to call it intelligence

I am with you

Cool

nice one.

God knows the hearts of men, u can't deceive him.But i like the joke.

Yeah,welcome to the monkey market !
Nice one
Cheers

The man most have be an Ibo guy they can do anything for money

THE MAN THAT LAY EGGS


Segun came home from the pub late one Friday evening
stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed
beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the
end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who
the hell are you?" Demanded Segun, "and what are you
doing in my bedroom?".
The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom
and I'm St Peter".
Segun was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be,
I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to
my family, you've got to send me back straight
away".

St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but
there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog
or a hen."

Segun was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not
far from his house,he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and
clucking around pecking the ground.

"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this
strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So
you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first
day here?"

"It's not so bad" replies Segun, "but I have this
strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".

"You're ovulating." explained the rooster, "Don't tell
me you've never laid an egg before".

"Never" replies Segun

"Well just relax and let it happen".

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds
later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense
feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got
the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the
first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling
of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being
reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever
happened to him, ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay
his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of
his head and heard his wife shouting:
"Segun, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting
in the bed!"

buhahahhahhahaha lolo heyyy poster ure crazie lol

i got carried away! well done

clemcykul:

buhahahhahhahaha lolo heyyy poster ure crazie lol

i got carried away! well done

More than crazy!!!

clemcykul:

buhahahhahhahaha lolo heyyy poster ure crazie lol

i got carried away! well done

Oh really,its gud to make u laugh now  

That is nice pretty funny anyway, weldone

@poster

Dont let Seun see this.
_{I'm going to report to him}

ituen:

@poster

Dont let Seun see this.
_{I'm going to report to him}

Will he beat her? Why did u say that?

wallahi dis one i good i like am fur real