Renouncing My Nigerian Citizenship

Written by Kay Soyemi (Esq.)
Friday, 09 January 2009

It is with a certain amount of glee that I write this, even if my musings are tinged with a deep regret.

A deep regret in having to bear a name that clearly identifies me as a 419ner, a moniker that ensures that I cannot deny an ancestral lineage that is deeply rooted in cowardice, sheer malice, corruption and vindictiveness; a nationality that says I belong to the largest gathering of mediocres ruled by unintelligent reprobates; a genetic misfortune that ensures that I have an accent thicker than ogbóno soup; a conceptual mistake created in heaven and consolidated in the fraudulent 1914 act of amalgamation that labeled me at birth as Nigerian. Maybe it is time I start to curse the accident of birth that lumps me together with the likes of you called Okiro, Tunde, Tafa, Kike, Lucky, Chuckwu, Onanefe, Zanaib, Alao, Bunu, Ibrahim, Andy or Amadi, your so-called leaders and the thieving cohorts holding the country to ransom.

Perhaps, it is time I renounce the citizenship conferred upon me by parental birth and assume the right of inheritance conferred upon me by virtue of my place of birth; albeit in a land foreign to the birth of my parents. Perhaps, I would be justified in denying my association with you, by heritage and nationality as I have not seen any virtue worthy of emulation in you as a Nigerian.

Certainly, I have seen naught in you to accept that you are principled as a person. Surely, I have seen enough in you to know that you have no principles when the matters of money are discussed. Definitely, I know enough of you to know that all you want to do is accumulate money and wealth that you cannot spend in ten lifetimes to the detriment of your neighbors’ descendants. There is no doubting the gleam and lust in your eyes when matters of avarice are in the offing, just simply because you are a Nigerian.

Sadly, the only thing that matters to you is to moan about your pathetic lot in life; your miserable existence in life as a qualified Nigerian; and your weak leaders while you await the opportunity to demonstrate your own unprincipled and unbridled lust for the opportunity to lie, cheat and steal from your fellow Nigerians. Surely, your genetic penchant for mischief and no-good has already railroaded your for a life devoid of principles and explains why, in the face of all incontrovertible evidence to the contrary and all evidences pointing to you as ‘unintelligent mugús’, your leaders are not concerned about your ire.

Definitely, you are a disgrace to the creed of joy tagged ‘black and proud’, and only take pride in masquerading as a misnomer called a Nigerian. That falsely glorified being who pompously looks down on his less affluent kindred simply because the other fellow does not wear suits or big agbadás and babánrigas whilst expediently and blissfully ignoring the fact that you are no better than your very own neighbor.

The caricature of a colonial slave master, the relic of the colonial rule that you represent and the buffoonish clown that you flawlessly bear a resemblance to is so apparent in you as a, yes, Nigerian, who disdainfully look down on his very own because the fellow cannot lisp through his nose and would rather open his mouth widely to chant the words, ‘shokolokbangóshe’; is so obvious in the way you deride your fellow ignorant Nigerians who do not possess a lot of alphabets after their names; unlike you, who knows very well that the size of your medulla oblongata bears no correlation the alphanumeric letterings that you purchased to augment your own unimportant existence in life and to justify your pomposity and miserable existence in life.

Yea, I say, shame on you, Nigerian!

I boldly say this because I have seen the best of you. I have seen and know the mettle of the clueless and visionless gathering of vultures and carrion-eating cabal who leads you. I understand your vainglorious mindset that casts you as livestock waiting to dip your snouts in the trough of corruption. Yes, farm animals, you all are for all you do is grunt and squeal about your pathetic lot in life whilst you are led knowingly and unerringly to the abattoir for your own slaughter!

If you like, you can moan and curse me for all the rightful nomenclature I have attached to your heritage. It will not bother me; the same way ALL your grunting and squealing has had no impact upon your leaders. The ruled and the rulers are no different in your country; thieves of the same inclinations – aves of the same plumage!

I am not asking you, ham-fisted Nigerians, for your encomiums or vilifications for that matter because I know all that you can do is rant like ants, make storms in your tea cups and don the toga of super-cyber warriors without the guts to back your actions to words. I know you ALL lack the temerity to match your words to action and this are proven by the failure of two events in Nigeria towards the end of 2008.

December 29 passed in Nigeria without anyone joining me outside of Aso Rock to demand for the liberation of your failed country from the shackles of a thieving brigandage and cabal called “government” in your country. Similarly, none of you made any fuss about the muzzling of the Nigeria Rally in Benue State organized by L. Shilgba. None of you ever raised an eyebrow when your best are hounded into jail or killed outright by your thieving elites. How could you, in any case, for you are all genetically malformed and deformed for the single purpose of being corrupt and awaiting the chance for perfidy.

I gleefully abandon you to your filth. I happily renounce anything that suggests that I could have any kinship with you. I gladly reject the moniker of 419 with which you are irreparably tarnished. I joyfully decry everything that shouts Nigerian about you.

I look forward to reading more about your persecution and disinheritance by your rulers and leaders. As a matter of fact, I look forward to hearing more of the woes that will surely betide you as Nigerians in the year 2009 and forever more. Indeed, I pray to see more of your tears as Nigerians in the coming years.

I fervently pray that you will not wake up from your collective slumber until the future of your unborn generations are fully mortgaged for the lifetime of penury they richly deserve because of your lethargy today.

Please do not wish me well or a Happy New Year as I do not wish you as Nigerians any good. Indeed, I curse everything about you for as long as your best are the worst of humanity. Lastly, I beseech you not to offer your filthy and silly prayers to God for succor because he is tired of the impotent creature you represent, the whining, whingeing, crawling, syncopathic, cretinous, cowardly naives aka Nigerians.

God, please damn the Nigerian in my blood.

Areosapien: And not a phuck was given.

Areosapien: And not a phuck was given.