Hi guys, my husband lost his job in one of the bank few weeks ago. well the good thing he had saved quite alot while working(over N6M) and i work in a small firm and earn at least enough to keep the family going(have 4 kids). He has just refused to think of doing something. he sits a home relaxed.i have suggested he starts a small business at least to keep busy but he seem not be bothered.
please advise on how to handle the situation and possible business he can go into that wont be too capital intensive.thanks

There are loads of threads in the "Business section" created for businesses you can start from N5000 upwards. Beware of 419's though.

ta4: Hi guys, my husband lost his job in one of the bank few weeks ago. well the good thing he had saved quite alot while working(over N6M) and i work in a small firm and earn at least enough to keep the family going(have 4 kids). He has just refused to think of doing something. he sits a home relaxed.i have suggested he starts a small business at least to keep busy but he seem not be bothered.
please advise on how to handle the situation and possible business he can go into that wont be too capital intensive.thanks

I think the best thing you can do for / with your husband right now is to show him some support.

Working in a banking environment can be very stressful esp if it involves long hours. I'm presuming your hubby must have had a senior position and is probably using his time out of work to reassess his position and is probably weighing his options. Starting up your own business as an entrepreneur may not be everyone's cup of tea.

Having said that, N6m with a wife and 4 kids can only go so far. A lot also depends on the ages of your children. My suggestion is you sit down with him and have an open discussion with him to find out what his plans for the future are. What are his interests asides banking? Is he willing to consider an alternative career option? Or does he want to go back to banking as his preferred choice? What are his plans for the immediate future & long term?

Having this discussion with him would be a step in the right direction. Nevertheless, even though you might be tempted to, resist the urge to nag him. Loosing one's job, especially as the bread winner can be demotivating. Continue to support him (like you're doing now) and eventually he would pull through this phase.

Good luck!

P.S: I think you're doing a fantastic job holding your family together

Is he doing the cooking, cleaning and child rearing while he is home "relaxing?" If he isn't let him know that times have changed and so has the family - if you're to be the breadwinner, he should be the nurturer. Then I'm sure he'll start looking in no time.

PPS: You're also too tired to have s3x. That should also get him out of the house more quickly.

Why not give him sometime to think

The man is trying to plan.
If he was sacked and didn't save a penny you will still come here to complain.

A man who managed to save 6m isn't silly.
Just give him time and encouragement.

BlueDiva: The man is trying to plan.
If he was sacked and didn't save a penny you will still come here to complain.

A man who managed to save 6m isn't silly.
Just give him time and encouragement.

true dat!!!!!

On point blue diva
Please allow him get his acts together. This is no time to nag but encourage him. He knows what he's doing and also let him catch up on the family times he has missed.

@ blue diva ...true words.

The other are correct in advising you to give him time and support him, he probably depressed about loosing his job and mopping around the house is his coping mechanism. Anyways say encouraging words and ginger him up, let him know your family has a great future and try to see how the money saved up can be invested.

If i were in your shoes, i will be honeymooning with my husband this period even for up to 3months! After 4 kids together and a stressful job like the one he had, you should be glad you have your man all to yourself for now. Abeg stop complaining and let the man enjoy quality time with his children. He knows he has missed out alot perhaps that is why he is not in a hurry to start working again.
A family man with four children and bills to take care of and still has 6m in his savings account is in my own words "a man with plans".

It's better that he takes his time to find something worthwhile to invest in than rushing into a business that'll eventually fail. According to what I am hearing about ex-bankers these days, too many of them quickly open well-stocked shops only to find that sales are lagging and they are stuck with obsolete inventory. Please give your husband time and space to find the right opportunities; prayerfully support him and he'll be back-in-action in no time.

chaircover: He is probably fagged out bless him. Banking work is not beans. Just today I had a banker come running to me that his target has been increased to 1 billion & to please help introduce him to people that I know to come and bank in his bank.

Your friend is not alone. A family member had a 2 billion personal target last year (and a 20 billion team target). You should have seen him running helter, skelter, begging Governors and commissioners here and there for deposits. We sha thank God that some family connections came through for him. I have already told him to find another job but the stubborn man won't listen (probably because his wife won't stop spending). Nah so-so running about every day! Meanwhile, the real ogas are in headquarters, collecting salary and adding zero value! Such a horrible job!

Was this how your parent's behaved around you? If it was then I'd rather you hang around a few other families cos you just suggested she turn her husband to a nanny because he had a temporary setback and worse still, to deny him his conjugal right. Well, are you a male or female to start with cos if you are a female then, I can only pray for your husband (or to be) never retire's but all the same what an unfortunate man he is.

ezicat: Is he doing the cooking, cleaning and child rearing while he is home "relaxing?" If he isn't let him know that times have changed and so has the family - if you're to be the breadwinner, he should be the nurturer. Then I'm sure he'll start looking in no time.

PPS: You're also too tired to have s3x. That should also get him out of the house more quickly.

chaircover: He is probably fagged out bless him. Banking work is not beans. Just today I had a banker come running to me that his target has been increased to 1 billion & to please help introduce him to people that I know to come and bank in his bank.

Give him another few weeks or so to catch his breath back and then try and sit down with him and work out what he wants to do, be it business or looking for another job. Please dont push him but be there for him.

If I were you, I will enjoy the time together as a family; also maybe its Gods time of moving him up for promotion so please dont look at it as all gloom.

Sound answers as usual..ur husband lucky well well..nice response.

appraoch him in a humble and loving manner not harsh way. If he shuts at you, leave and approach him again later. Let him see reason why and where he should start something or a business. If he continues the way you said he is, then I would personally suggest you use someone that he respect alot(eg your pastor, your in-laws etc) to talk to him. Though 6M is big but without any proper planning he will soon exhaust the money.
Also, show him more love than before may be he is still devasted about losing his job.

feminine A: On point blue diva
Please allow him get his acts together. This is no time to nag but encourage him. He knows what he's doing and also let him catch up on the family times he has missed.

you are absolutely right. he is probably still very unhappy.

ezicat: Is he doing the cooking, cleaning and child rearing while he is home "relaxing?" If he isn't let him know that times have changed and so has the family - if you're to be the breadwinner, he should be the nurturer. Then I'm sure he'll start looking in no time.

PPS: You're also too tired to have s3x. That should also get him out of the house more quickly.

How selfish of you. SMH...

dont worry my dear, get close to ur hubby, calm him down, say in the midddle of the nit
pray together for divine directive, then plan togetheter
am sure, wen u are done, biz idea will come and ur family will move on.
the down fall of a man is not the end of the world.

peter2012:
you are absolutely right. he is probably still very unhappy.

peter2012:
you are absolutely right. he is probably still very unhappy.

For me, i would suggest after he has confided to you his next plan, out of what he had saved, let him build a simple home home for the family, if he has not one already before planning his next action

Madam, please, give your hubby time to ponder on what to do. Banking job is not easy and not working as a banker would require your hubby to strategize well on the way forward. Give him time and show support. God bless.

Just beware of who ever is posing to offer you help on nairaland; cos from the day i dropped my email address for a car deal was when they started flooding my inbox with all manner of schemes.

ta4: Hi guys, my husband lost his job in one of the bank few weeks ago. well the good thing he had saved quite alot while working(over N6M) and i work in a small firm and earn at least enough to keep the family going(have 4 kids). He has just refused to think of doing something. he sits a home relaxed.i have suggested he starts a small business at least to keep busy but he seem not be bothered.
please advise on how to handle the situation and possible business he can go into that wont be too capital intensive.thanks

Well, there is still much that you are not saying like if you guys live in your own house or if it is rented? What are the ages of the children and are they already in higher institutions? These and more shd be able to determine how much influence you need to get him out of that house NOW and back on the streets working his bum out for the family. Fine, I agree that he should be resting after a hectic time after a bank's work but the truth of the matter is that the only time he can afford to fold his arms and not get going should be when he is retired and has put systems in place for that. As far he hasn't, then he shd get his bum, I mean his relaxed bum out and take responsibility for the family.

I have witnessed a situation like this on my street where a good man after being disengaged just started chasing small small girls about, took to drinking and all sorts of behaviours because he had extra money in his account (disengagement fees) and wanted to now show his wife who had been nagging that he had become a pain in the house.

My point is this, an idle mind will always be the devil's workshop. And BTW, he should always carry you along on whatever he wants to spend that money on.

Times are hard, you both should be using this period to sharpen your financial intelligence.

Between starting a business or applying for another job, I would go for the former.

Nothing tests the 'goodness' of one's wife more than losing one's job or running into troubled waters in one's business. If, unfortunately, the situation doesn't turn around quickly enough, even the most virtuous and respectful of wives metamorphose into total she-devils before their husbands very eyes, and the once rosy marriage becomes a field of thorns. Even this one that just lost his job, the wife is already pushing him to 'go out' when he is still trying to reassess his situation and take a deep breath. Go out to where? Is that how people find white collar jobs in this country? By going out to God-knows-where even without prior connections or applications and whatnot? Soon he'll be forced to dress up in the morning and head out to some nice beer parlour somewhere to kill time with younger dudes or other men that are in similar predicaments. I know a couple of guys like that. At least that would be better than staying at home and being branded 'lazy' or 'unambitious' by their wives.

As for you, OP, the bitter truth is that no matter how hard you purport to 'support' him through this trying time, your patience would fizzle out sooner than later - unless you husband gets his groove back by hook or crook. As such, there is little advice one can realistically give you in the circumstances, knowing how inelastic women's patience is when it comes to matters concerning money and financial security in their men. I'd rather advice your husband to strategize, network, and do whatever it takes to get another job at all costs. Who knows, with your prayers and his desperate measures, he might yet get his life back on track sooner than we think. It's really a do or die affair for him.

keep trying

^^^ even 419 is tough these days - better start calling in favors fast unless he have not built a list of acquaintances during his stay at the Bank

ezicat: Is he doing the cooking, cleaning and child rearing while he is home "relaxing?" If he isn't let him know that times have changed and so has the family - if you're to be the breadwinner, he should be the nurturer. Then I'm sure he'll start looking in no time.

PPS: You're also too tired to have s3x. That should also get him out of the house more quickly.

see person reasoning, *smh* dumbass

Tell your husband to be travelling to U.S and be buying cars and car parts, then load onto a container, ship to Lagos and sell it. It is a lucrative business if he wants that. All he needs to invest is around 3 million naira out of the 6 million. He will surely make cool 7-800 thousand naira profit on each trip he makes to the United States.

Let me know if you need my help doing this business.

Your husband strikes me as an intelligent nd focused man. Men like this take time to think, plan then move. Dat way u always hit the target! Av been dere b4, after the capital market crash, I was thrown out of job, took 4mnths to relax while I accessed the entire situation. I had to look at d future of the capital market, sectors dat look more promising, wat I can contribute in those sectors with my qualification and experience. Did some research. Narrowed things down to where I had the strongest advantage, started applying, got called and landed a fantastic job in an FMCG without one connection. All kudos to planning.
And I tell you I was able to achieve this cos I have the most amazing woman by myself supporting and loving, and I alsO enjoyed the time to relax. You won't understand how precious a time like that can be till you have worked in the financial sector where is constant run here and there.
Btw, thumbs up to a banker that can save up 6mil in quite a short time.

Give him time to figure something out

My dear allow him to relax... U have to understand that the guy would feel sad inside and just needs little time to get himself back.( He is more bothered than you think)
Note that the guy is also planning something so you dont need to tell him what to do.
The only thing I advise you to do is let him know you are always by him in whatever he decides to do. And continue to shower him with love and understanding...he would eventually call you and discuss his thoughts with you.
Dont worry God has a plan for you guys...Trust God

I lost my job with one of the banks in January. I didn't even save upto half of what your husband saved. I had to rest and think of the way forward for a month. Now am back on my feet. You are talking of few weeks ago. Give him time and encourage him please