Stanley and his wife Tina have been living in a supposedly rented duplex for the past ten
years. He just recently discovered that for the past 10
yrs, the house they had been living in belonged to his
wife and they had been paying rent to an agent with
normal yearly increases and the money goes to Tina.
What would u do if u were in Stanley's shoes? Your thoughts here pls!

he shld ask d wife y she did dat
dere s always reason 4 everyth

There is no reason good enough to treat her husband that way. The house they live together for 10 years?
I don't see any reason to continue in the marriage. This is a trust issue and lack of love. imo.

Wow, she bought the land, built d house without hubby's knowledge, maneuvered d family to rent d house, lived in d house for ten years and received the rent for those years!!! what a schemer! And d husband, something tells me that he is not too involved in the family affairs.

In ten years, if he never thought of buying and moving out, he really is to be blamed.
He can thank God for his wife.

That means he was only paying a mortgage (or contributing to the acquisition) and now has a place he can call his (depending if they signed a prenup or something).

Good for him (in the real sense)  .

I have put myself in the husband's shoes. I would feel hurt but technically she has done nothing wrong-  I have been trained and believe that a wife's property is hers and not the husband's. I would simply ask her if she wants to continue to collect rent and at what rate? If she is not cheating and performs her duties efficiently, it will be the least of my problems as long as she did not commit a crime to raise money for the house. However, it would be pragmatic to build my own house ASAP and move the family there with no room for negotiation on the matter- I am sure she knows why already!

.

Women!!!!!!!!!!! anyways, the man would be very angry, if it were me nko? the wife has some good explanations to do, if there is any, when a man and a woman marries, they become 'one'. What belongs to one automatically belongs to the other. the woman was reaping her hubby off.

Another fabricated story. How do you rent that kind of place in Naija and not get to know WHO you are paying? No nosy drivers, househelp etc? No neighbors? Come on this is fake.

I will be very happy.

maclatunji:

I have put myself in the husband's shoes. I would feel hurt but technically she has done nothing wrong-  I have been trained and believe that a wife's property is hers and not the husband's. I would simply ask her if she wants to continue to collect rent and at what rate? If she is not cheating and performs her duties efficiently

You are insinuating that what happened is no big deal, maybe because we are reading it on NL. For me, no big deal if the husband is aware, but for him to discover after 10 years means he's not meant to know about it; except you mean a man does not a right to know about his wife's projects and affairs.

Assuming there is an issue on that property before he discovered, the man will look irresponsible before everyone.
A woman who exhibit such should not be trusted, and you cannot be too sure if she is not involved in cheating or illegality; in fact the man needs to re ascertain the true paternity of their children.

To all those laughing at the man, 

                   whatever happened to openess (sp?) and honesty in a marriage?

Think about the man having a child outside for 10yrs without the wife's knowledge (beacuase she was barren), would you be laughing at the woman??


Equality my foot.  Men can never win.

When you are easy going and soft, they call you a dunce, fool and mumu

When you are tough, they call you wicked, a beast.

/

Can we please discuss this based on the facts on the post and not what ifs?

Is this a good reason not to be open and honest with your spouse?

If you think your spouse is not making the right moves, why doint you talk about it and work it out before goin solo on the side?

Again, I see no valid reason why anyone would do this without the spouse's knowledge.

Keyword here being spouse, not husband or wife. We are equal in every way.

.

pash:

Stanley and his wife Tina have been living in a supposedly rented duplex for the past ten
years. He just recently discovered that for the past 10
yrs, the house they had been living in belonged to his
wife and they had been paying rent to an agent with
normal yearly increases and the money goes to Tina.
What would u do if u were in Stanley's shoes? Your thoughts here pls!

the man must quit d relaioship.

On cool FM last night, it was Emeka and Ada. The story is false. If it were to be true, its her house and she has the right to do with it as she sees fit,

It epends on what the money ( rent collected so far ) is being used for.

Every story has two sides, so lets hear the other side of the story. Tina over to you.

odiaero:

First of all, she must give back all my money, secondly, chase her away from that house for 3 months to her fathers house, that will tell if she really loves me by obeying

Why should you do that? Since you were silly enough to be in a rented apartment for 10 years when you could have built a small bungalow for yourself, then the wife must be wise enough to devise a way of collecting your extravanganse.

I would get mad initially and later think rationally. I would sit her down and ask why she did what she did. Even if she had told me that the house belonged to her, I would not have been comfortable living in my wife's house for ten years (my wife's property is hers while mine is ours). Although living there knowingly would strike as odd but it would have encouraged me into building my own even it is small.

Ten Kobo:

Every story has two sides, so lets hear the other side of the story. Tina over to you.

How many stories do we get to here both sides before we start giving advice or is it because it is a woman involved in this case?.

@Topic.

Technically the relationship is over and if it should continue then there has to be a re-evaluation of the relationship and new set of financial rules. This will surely start first with her refunding 50 percent of the rent i have paid for the whole ten years. We will not even live together on discovering this incident or i will just stop paying rent and see if she will send me parking.


It is ridiculous hearing the comments from the ladies and some even going to the extent of trying to hear the other side of the story. Please read the posters write-up again, it is a scenario that was painted and you only need to give your advice and not waiting to hear the other side of the story.

WTF!!!
For a purposed wife of mine to be so insincere, its a Divorce ooh!
God knows what else she can be hiding, perhaps our children belong to some one else, SHIT!!!!

@Chaircover: I hail u jorrr.you are the only lady here that has examined the facts and given an unbiased and sincere response to the initial post.
I have no problem with my wife owning the house where we live, but why does she have to pretend about it for so long.
In my honest opinion she's a dangerous schemer and doesn't deserve to be called a wife.Knowing fully well that when the bond of trust is broken in a marriage, it takes the grace of God for the couple to continue living together

So, did she squander or save the rent money i've been paying?

Nothing spoil if a refund can be arranged.

People might say all kinds of things about the husband not finding out in time and all that but let me tell you in a place like Lagos you may never have a reason to meet your landlord/landlady for as long as you live his/her house if the estate manager is doing his job well.My advice:let Stanley file divorce papers, Tina is not worth living with for any reason because she sees the business side of everything and for the right price can get Stanley killed  as long as money is involved.This is a trust issue and it's a matter of life and death.

He is married to a stranger!! Let him check if the woman he is living with is his wife ooo!! I don warn you ooo

ikooko:

You are insinuating that what happened is no big deal, maybe because we are reading it on NL. For me, no big deal if the husband is aware, but for him to discover after 10 years means he's not meant to know about it; except you mean a man does not a right to know about his wife's projects and affairs.

Assuming there is an issue on that property before he discovered, the man will look irresponsible before everyone.
A woman who exhibit such should not be trusted, and you cannot be too sure if she is not involved in cheating or illegality; in fact the man needs to re ascertain the true paternity of their children.

See, I know it is a big deal. However, on my list of sins; a wife building a house and making her husband pay for it is deviously ingenious but should not be fatal to the marriage in my opinion. It only means I change my attitude towards her and ensure that we move out of that house ASAP (If she makes noise about moving she will see a dark-side of me that she will not forget; I don't have to hit her to achieve this). I can forgive a lot of things outside Adultery, this is one of them.

Yes, I know it shakes the trust the husband has in his wife to its very foundations but it is forgiveable particularly if she can give a coherent and logical explanation!

maxygirl:

On cool FM last night, it was Emeka and Ada. The story is false. If it were to be true, its her house and she has the right to do with it as she sees fit,

What makes you think Radio Presenters don't come to Nairaland and other sites to glean news and ideas for their shows?

trusted an enemy.

Mayb the wife is paying the husband back for some bad things he might have done "secretly". You know this issue of after all you did this now is my turn.

Anyway God will help them.

Hmn! Let me see. She might av done dat mayb wen she realised her husby ws nt ready 2 build or buy a house or mayb he spends on other tins n dcided 2 use it as a secret family investment. D rent she has bin collectin wuld av bin saved 4 10yrs who knws mayb cn get anoda one or 2 b used 2 finance d family mayb afta retirement.
Bt wat Tina did ws wrong bt undastandable if her reasons r in d above mention. Stanley mst 4gv her 4 d luv n c it as his luck, but i bet it wont b easy n may dcyd 2 sell d house n relocate wit his Tina n kids (if any), cos d continuos or mere sight of dat house mite bring back unpleasant memories n may annoy him n he may change his attitude against her. I rest my case.

Interesting, But I agree only 5% has been given ,