Ricoman:

I think you are in a really difficult situation here my brother, I think you should go on being the good dad that you have always being.
You should let the boy know the truth when her is old enough to understand . wishing you all the best as you battle this out

drrionelli:

I must also agree with iice and $$Rhino. OK, so you didn't contribute chromosomes to the little guy--so what? As you've come to find out, there is really a huge difference between making a baby (which most any 12-years-old boy can do) and being a father (which entails quite a bit more).

I don't know the legality issues where you are, but is your name on the birth certificate? Clearly, you have "bonded" with the child. Do you want the child to be a part of your life and, perhaps more importantly, do you want to be a part of his? Remember, of course, that you will always have to deal with the child's mother. Speaking of the mother, I must respectfully disagree with $ammy who suggests that you hate her. Hatred will only compromise everybody's relationships with one another, as they will always be tied to one another.

Weigh it out, Tee Baba. Of primary importance, here, is the best interest of the child.

Now, allow me to also ask: Does the guy whose sperm actually created the boy (I hesitate to use the term "man" with regard to a guy who risks getting women pregnant and is careless about his responsibilities) know about this situation? What does he have to say? What is the mother's view?


Please keep us posted. We care.

i think I totally agree with you.[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000]

wakagirl:

Are these advisers here really African? Why can't people advise straight even if it will hurt? my bros that boy is not your child either you like t or not, thank God he is only 4 years and you are aware now that he is that young. His brain now is still flexible if that boy does not see you for some time and sees somebody else and his mum tells him that's his dad he will agree and start calling that person his dad and with time he will forget you.

Please take heart and leave them alone, except he is starving you have no bussiness with them, and how long do you want to pretend to your family? let them know the truth now it will no more be news after 3 months of telling them. You don't need to allow a woman who could not sy who owns a child affect your future or how do you intend explaining 'your' child outside to your spouse? Leave them and move on time will heal the would.

A FOOL CAN MAKE A BABY ONLY A MAN CAN FATHER A CHILD

Breed:

Guys, lets not jump the gun here. The reason the boy is with Tee Baba is because the biological father has no idea he has a son.

If he knew, would he not take care of him the same way? I think it is only fair that he is informed and the issues discussed out in the open.

If he relinquishes his rights, then we can start talking of adoption. Any which way, it's a tough call.

May God grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change,
The strength to change the things you can, and
The wisdom to know the difference.