Hmmm... No be small thing. See dis man o. Asthma kwa?
Continue cherie cos dis suspense is killing.

avicky: Hmmm... No be small thing. See dis man o. Asthma kwa?
Continue cherie cos dis suspense is killing.

Almost there. Thank you for your patience, dear. I can imagine I haven't been the fastest writer, or the easiest to follow, but you have been exceedingly patient. Thank you and God bless you.

[s][/s] ishi when he Wakes up give him another heart attack. I think he'll appreciate it.

"Oga," PA called softly. He dropped the inhaler and gently slapped the Honourable on the face. The unconscious man's head rolled from side to side, like one dead.

"Oga", he called again. He slapped his boss again, very gently.

"Slap him HARDER!", I cried desperately. He looked up at me with irritation before continuing with his rescuscitation efforts. Not in the mood for being ignored, I swiftly moved to the bed with every intention of pushing PA aside and raining hot blows on the hapless VIP. The man must wake up by fire by thunder!

"Stay back", PA snarled, "we need to give him some air!!". I paused mid-stride.

"Give him some air, ke?", I ground out hotly."You and I are the only ones here so how am I crowding him?? "

"Look, you this girl," he said, exasperation plainly etched on his face,"just leave me to do what I am doing. Trust me, I know what I'm doing".

Now where had I heard that line from. . .? Right, the Sledgehammer series! (Isn't it strange how we remember odd things at the oddest moments. . .?)

He dismissed me with his eyes and turned back to his comatose boss.

"Oga", he whispered, slapping the Honourable again. He put the inhaler in again and pressed. Still nothing. He pressed twice and waited.

I held my breath.

Suddenly, the Honourable gasped and opened his eyes! You cannot begin to imagine my indescribable relief when this happened. I let out my breath in a loud 'whoosh'. It seems PA had been holding his own too because I heard him heave a big sigh of relief.

The man who had caused the whole drama went into a coughing fit and I and PA rushed to help him into a sitting position. While he coughed, PA patted him gently on the back. After the coughing had subsided, the sick man looked up at me and smiled weakly.

I never thought I'd actually be happy to see those horse-like teeth again.

"How are you?", I asked, smiling back. He didn't say anything, but he nodded briefly before closing his eyes. The PA sat beside him and tried to make him as comfortable as possible.

Looking back now, as I write this, I have come to the realisation that PA's devotion went beyond employee obligation. The youngman actually felt genuine affection for his boss. I, on my own part would have been genuinely grieved if 'anything' had happened to the man.

All these were lost in the relief of the moment.

'Whew,' thought I, cynically, 'that was quite close. I wonder if he still feels like fuCcking my brains out'.

Probably not.

We let Honourable rest a bit before setting off. While we waited in silence, the only sound in the room came from the television. It seemed the movie was about to end. The school ballet group was giving a presentation on stage before an enraptured audience. I watched the slender dancers glide gracefully up and down the screen, admiring their lithe and supple bodies and comparing them to my own . . .er, 'African woman/Thick Madam' body. . It is cause for critical concern when one lays on a person and that person gets an athsma attack. Who knows, the next person I lie down on might go into shock and have a cardiac arrest. Not that I intended to go around lying down on people, no, but it was definitely cause for concern.

It was settled. Iya Onifufu had so lost a customer .

(I still love fufu till date,I will not deny, and I will forever love fufu ).

When Honourable was sufficiently rested, we left the room and headed for the car. There was no more talk of spending the night, no sirree!

We walked past the dreadfully bored front desk staff. They didn't even blink our way. We could have brought goats, pigs and other livestock into the hotel and they wouldn't have asked questions. Four star hotel, one star customer service.

When we got to the lighted lot, I was surprised to see PA open the back door of a green coloured Toyota Corolla for the Honourable to get in. It seemed PA had swapped the white pickup for this vehicle while I and his boss were in Rm21, and that was why I hadn't been able to locate it when I came in search of help. More 007 moves. Goodness gracious, the man deserved an Olympic gold medal in the art of paranoia.

I hopped in beside my date and we zoomed off into the starless night.

I can't recall how we left Akure and entered the Ondo-Akure expressway because the whole memory is a blur, but I clearly recall the drive back. We sat in silence, every one of us. Honourable's large hands sought mine in the darkness, found it, and held it. His hands engulfed mine. He didn't speak much. He had barely spoken since we left the hotel. He was probably contemplating his own mortality. The unfairness of life. He had wealth and power, but riches cannot buy you long life. Only God can grant one that grace.

"Were you scared?" he asked when we were about half way into the journey.

"Of course I was. I thought you had died or something!" I answered. He chuckled when he heard this.

"Do you have these attacks often", I asked after a few minutes of contemplative silence.

"Not really, baby. I don't know what happened today o".

'Ishi lay on you, that's what happened', thought I, in self deprecation.

"It is well. The important thing is you are okay now", I said aloud, soothingly.

We relapsed into silence, lost in our own respective thoughts. I can't remember the things I thought because the shock of the day's events was finally lulling me into a state of semi-stupor. The journey back in deep silence is a colourless blur of passing trees and bushes, mud houses, gliding tar black earth and the warmth of Honourable's hand. Each mile we passed brought me closer and closer to the place I had reluctantly made my home. I tried to run from The Place, but somehow, mischief always chased me back, howling like a frightened cat.

It was almost 10 pm when we finally got to Wasimi. After I opened the door and got down,I turned once more to bid my date goodnight because I knew I would NEVER speak to him again.

"When will I see you again?" he asked quietly.

See you?? Ha,not in this life time!

"I will let you know and get back to you", I answered aloud, lying through my teeth.

He seemed satisfied with the answer. I saw him reach into his pocket and I immediately averted my eyes. Pretending not to see where his hands were, I gave him a stern exhortation on the constant use of his inhaler, urged him to take good care of himself, and thereafter bade him goodnight. All through my lecture PA McGrouch was eyeing me with a mixture of bemusement and impatience. I occasionally shot him fiery darts with my own eyes and he returned the favour.

"Wait," Honourable ordered as I turned to leave after my brief lecture. He reached out through the window and pressed an envelope into my unwilling hands. Of course I protested half-heartedly, insisting that it wasn't necessary, but he waved them off. After extracting a promise from me to call him as soon as I was free, he waved those long beefy fingers at me in farewell, and drove off.

I turned away from the road and faced Wasimi. The little community lay in darkness, as usual. The only people awake were the farmers gossiping about God knows what in conk Ondo dialect. Clutching the parcel my date had gifted me, I trudged wearily to my room. The front of my little hut was a hot mess. It seems my neighbour's goat had ra.ped and murdered my waste bin after all, but I couldn't muster the energy to be angry. I would deal with the nasty little beast another time.

Inside my little hut, without bothering to take off my clothes, I tiredly sat on the sandy bed. Chunks of mud had fallen off the wall onto my mattress but I couldn't be bothered about dusting them off. No, not tonight.

With the aid of Mein Kpalasa, I opened the parcel and spread it contents on the floor in front of me. Lo, thirty thousand naira in 1000 naira denominations lay before my weary eyes. I stared at them dispassionately for several seconds before sweeping them out of my line of sight. I didn't try to hide it because I didn't care if the ubiquitous Wasimi rats shat on the money, or used them to build nests for their babies or whatever. No. I was just plain fed up with EVERYTHING. My peace of mind was worth more than silver and gold. I would deal with it in the morning.

Still fully dressed, with my koste bra digging uncomfortably into my back, mud chunks clinging to my hair and skin, and sorrounded by I000 naira notes, I lay back on the bed and slept on the pillow of insomnia. . .

Ah Beautiful Ending...

Nice 1 Ishi

Ishi you are a very wonderful writer. I laughed all through, but your imagery was also powerful
" The journey back in deep silence is a colourless blur of passing trees and bushes, mud houses, gliding tar black earth and the warmth of Honourable's hand. Each mile we passed brought me closer and closer to the place I had reluctantly made my home. I tried to run from The Place, but somehow, mischief always chased me back, howling like a frightened cat. "
Keep it up.

ishilove
You're excellent.
I have to give you a baby for your valentine gift

esere826: ishilove
You're excellent.
I have to give you a baby for your valentine gift

Haha! A tempting offer, I must confess, but no thanks.

its was worth the wait...and your updates are frequent these days. Commendable.

You have all it takes to be a great writer,well done ishi.

Ishilove, u re a greet writer,and a wonderful narrator. U carry all ur reader along wit u,cos anywhere u,i go go.

A standing ovation for our Ishilove after the encounter at room 21. Gracias! Keep it up!!!

Ishi you don lie! How can you tell us that absolutely nothing happened? Ha! After all my hope?
Anyway, you are a great story teller. Like someone said, great imagery. You've got great talent and skill...

It has all been said. Ishi, you wow me with your descriptions. They create vivid pictures in my head, and are funny.

Kudos to you Ishi

The days that followed my disaster date passed quickly. I am not a particularly talkative person, but my colleagues and students alike noticed I was more subdued than usual but they respected my wish not to be bothered. I moved around in a state of suspended shock and melancholy because I had been very frightened due to the status of the man involved. How could a date that had started so delightfully well end so embarrassingly?? If the man had died the consequences would have been devastating. I had been cavorting with a married man...what had I being thinking?!? I had been blinded by my own carnality and I felt a soul deep shame.

The Honourable called me several times but I didn't pick. I would never pick his calls ever again because my association with him had involved me in life's time worth of drama. Too much drama on a regular basis can drive one to the edge of psychosis. I had had enough.

The following Thursday, which is CDS day in Ondo state, I and The Guys headed for Bolonduro where the NYSC secretariat is located. When we got to the road, they wanted to hitch a ride as usual, but I insisted we take public transport. This came as a surprise because they knew me as 'Madam Oshofree'. Even though I gave them a cock and cattledung story about my spirit not agreeing with hitch hiking, they were able to convince me to join them. We waited for about ten minutes before an ancient pickup van stopped for us several meters down the expressway.

The guys dashed off, leaving me huffing and puffing and struggling to catch up. Eventually John had to jump down from the van and half carry, half drag me to the vehicle, and he didn't even break a sweat. His favourite part of 'helping' me into the van, according to him, was the part where he had to position his hands on my butt and lift me unto the back of the pickup. (How I miss that guy!).

After CDS (a totally useless exercise if you ask me. The topic of that particular meeting was how to help the local government officials carry sand and mould blocks),I left the guys behind in the secretariat because I didn't want to hang around and gossip. I so wasn't in THAT mood.

When I got to Bolonduro bustop, I waited in vain for a bus or an empty cab for about twenty minutes. The commercial vehicles that came my way had passengers squeezed in like sardines. Imagine an old model five-seater volkswagen car carrying five passengers, and they wanted to make me passenger number SIX. Four passengers at the back, two on the front passenger seat plus the driver brought the total number of people to seven. Seven people in a little car built for five. I have even witnessed several situations where we were SEVEN passengers in the cab. Four at the back seat and three at the front. The seventh person shared seats with the driver himself. On more than one occasion I have raved and ranted and demanded to be let off, but each time I was prevailed upon to stay. Crazy.

I didn't want to be stuffed into a dusty, rickety contraption, hemmed in with sticky, sweaty bodies and malodorous armpits, so I opted to remain standing in the blazing sun. When I was beginning to seriously contemplate joining those horrid cabs after nearly half an hour of fruitless waiting, a shiny, black Honda CR-V pulled up a few meters from where I stood slowly roasting in the mid-day heat. I pretended not to notice the vehicle, but the driver seemed hell bent on catching my attention. He hooted his horn several times, and when I stubbornly refused to budge, he reversed the vehicle and stopped directly in front of me.

"Good day corper," the driver hailed. He was a rather chubby-cheeked man with the kind of thick fleshy lips my Yoruba brethren call 'ete jumkpai', or 'etelombolo' or 'kpomo lips'. Shockingly big and over-fleshy. I grunted a greeting in response.

He wanted to know where I was headed. I initially wanted to blow him off, but I changed my mind because I was feeling the beginnings of a headache. I develop headaches when I stay too long in the sun.

"Wasimi", I replied. He looked puzzled. "Where is that?", he asked.

'My punishment for wanting to see the world', I wanted to reply, but instead I held my tongue and answered, "It is before you get to Akure. When we get there I will show you". The man shrugged his shoulders and opened the door. I got in and we drove off.

We had barely driven two minutes when the driver started talking. He prattled on and on about his NYSC days in Delta state, the value of NYSC to the common man and the immense benefits of cocoa farming. While he was talking, I tuned his voice out and zoomed off to more pleasant climes.

At last, when my thick-lipped companion paused to take a breath mid-prattle, he noticed I wasn't even listening to his chatter. He promptly changed subjects and launched into a tirade against the ruling federal PDP government.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah,". . .that is why I will never leave Labour party. . .", he concluded.



THAT finally caught my attention. "Are you a politician?", I asked warily.

"Yes o". He was also a top local government official, he intimated proudly.

Arrgh, another politician?!? . What was it with me and these set of Nigerians?? What was it about me that just attracted these men to me like flies to honey? Was having big boo\bs, round hips and an 'interesting looking' face now a crime??

Who did I offend, for crying out loud?! 'Why me, dear Lord', I wailed, 'WHY MEEE?!??'

My face turned to granite, my eyes to steely blocks of ice.

I turned my eyes to the road and scanned the entire area we were driving along. Nothing but bushes left and right. No escape. Blast! If this was a trap set by the evil powers of my father's house, it had failed woefully. I was not going to fall into this one's hands, no sirree!

The chatty fellow beside me was too busy loving the sound of his own voice to notice my offended demeanour and was rather startled when somewhere between the surprise visit of the governor to the local government and his political ambitions, I cut him off and curtly ordered him to pull over by the roadside.

"Are we there?", he asked, peering at the bushes around him. The only living thing in sight was the hassled looking nursing mother selling roasted pork and fruits by the road side a little distance away from where we were parked. "Is this Wasimi?" he asked again, "I don't see any houses around o".

'No fool,this is Aso Villa'.

"No, this is not Wasimi." I answered blandly, "That lady yonder" , pointing to the pork seller, "is my landlady, and I promised to help her baby sit her children at home. So I want to go collect the key to her house from her. The woman loves talking, so I will be with her for sometime. I might even help her sell her meat before heading home, so please don't let me delay you. You can be on your way now", I concluded.

The man looked at me askance.

Hey, I don't know where the lie came from. I just spoke the first thing that came to mind. Desperate times call for desperate lies, and this qualified as a desperate time in my book.

The man ruminated on this tall tale for some seconds then promptly dismissed it. "Okay no problem,give me your number so that I can be calling you from time to time. I already see you as someone I will like to get to know better", he said, and gave me a fleshy smile.

'Hell no, Sir Lipsalot, not today'.

I looked him in the eye, and said matter-of-factly "No."

"Why no? Don't you want to get to know me?"

"NO." I said with a note of finality. "Thank you for the ride, it was. . . errr, interesting making your acquaintance. Do have a nice day ahead." I pushed my bent glasses up my nose,opened the vehicle, got down and headed straight for the pork seller. I had no idea what I was going to tell her if he tarried till I got to her shed, but that wasn't going to be a problem.

I looked back once just before I got to the little shed. The man I had just dismissed was staring at my departing form with an air of bewilderment. I smiled mirthlessly to myself and kept on walking.

I heard the toot of the horn of the big car, but I kept on walking.

I heard him call out to me, but I never looked back. I kept on walking.

". . .and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from all evil. Amen"

Finally, I heard the vehicle start up and felt the heat of the engine as it zoomed past me. Cayo nara,hombre. You need Jesus.

"So osi? So wa okay?", the pork seller asked me in Yoruba as I passed by her shed.

No madam, I am not okay, but I am definitely better off than many others. I have just been too blinded by my fleshly desires to be thankful for small mercies.

In response to her queries, I smiled, quietly nodded and moved on.

I don't know how long I trekked the hard earth under the dazzling Ondo sun, but I was sweaty and tired by the time a passing cab slowed down beside me. I quickly flagged it down. Before this time many vehicles had sped past me on the fairly busy Ondo expressway, belching out smoke, raising dust, shaking the leaves at my feet. All of them in a hurry, all bearing my fellow earthly wayfarers.

When I got to where the cab waited, I looked down and peered into the vehicle. The cab was full of market women,but there was one space left for me to squeeze my bulk in. Do you want this?, I asked myself.

From deep down within, something told me to get in and move on, because the inconvenience would be temporary, just like everything else in life, both good and bad. Temporary.

"Wasimi", I told the young driver.

"Nibo n je Wasimi? Se o mo be?", the boy asked.

Yes I know where Wasimi is, young man, I definitely do.






***THE END(??)***

Yep, most likely :*

Well, halleluyah. I saw the end of Wasimi Chronicles after all. Good.

Ishi darling, you did good. I think you just finished your first novella.

Perfect! Amazing! Engaging! Gripping! Fantastic!








Now on to the next one.

O wait. . . . . . . .








There's more. . . . . . .?

Ihedinobi: Well, halleluyah. I saw the end of Wasimi Chronicles after all. Good.

Ishi darling, you did good. I think you just finished your first novella.

Wow, I never looked at it from that angle

Thanks for staying for the ride

Ishilove, you held me bound by your descriptive and imaginary power. well done.

great job lady
You held me spell bound
Now, like the lust driven persian sultan said after having his nightly tumbles with a lady every night
"Guards, off with her head"

naptu2: O wait. . . . . . . .








There's more. . . . . . .?

I hope so!
But eh Ishi, you don repent? You just de update quick quick these days o!

WeLl after all the wait, I guess it was worth it afterall. Good one. It was a very pleasant ride.

Brokoto, esere826,j-slimz, Ihedinobi, Efemena_xy, avicky, my able editor naptu2,even the sour puss semid4life and a host of others too numerous to mention (I'll have to go back 20pgs for that) thank you all for being my cheerleaders. This is the first time I have ever attempted writing something of this length and your kind words of encouragement inspired me to narrate my NYSC experience with as much creativity as my Muse could muster. Thank you all for sticking around long enough to witness the end. I know I am not exactly the most consistent of writers, but I'm a beginner still trying to find her feet. I confess I'm a trifle lazy, and I know if y'all hadn't given me not so subtle hints to just finish up already!(Especially you, yes, YOU esere826), I probably would have dragged my feet till my grandchildren hired a ghostwriter to finish the story up since grandma was . . .err, conserving her energy .

For those who think my story is a bore, please bear with me. I am working on ways to improve myself. I hope to bring out something more interesting next time so that you will not have cause to complain.

Thanks so much, love you all and God bless you all. I hope to write more and I count on your continued support, CONSTRUCTIVE( not bad belle ) criticisms and encouragement to reach for the stars, to beat the best and BE THE BEST at what I love doing most: creative writing.

[size=18pt]*** Serious round of applause ***[/size]

Well done Ishi! I'm proud of you girl!

So, what's your next plan of action? Not retirement abeg o! Come to think of it, how about giving Larry's Detective writing a shot? I'm thinking of it but would feel a lot more confident if my fellow female writer joins in too.

Girl Power eh?

In other news...pictures pictures pictures!! Wohoo!!!!

As I promised earlier, I'm going to post a FEW pictures of Wasimi and my PPA, Kind Comprehensive College for your viewing pleasure. Y'all have to be a bit patient because I need to obtain permission from certain characters mentioned in my narration before I can post them, so I won't be posting immediately.

I won't be posting pictures of Chairman and the Honourable because they are serving political office holders. Besides,I never got the chance to take photos because I was too busy quarelling with their hands to remember my camera phone .

*in Schwartzeneggar's 'Terminator' voice*

I'll be back. . .

Efemena_xy: [size=18pt]*** Serious round of applause ***[/size]

Well done Ishi! I'm proud of you girl!

So, what's your next plan of action? Not retirement abeg o! Come to think of it, how about giving Larry's Detective writing a shot? I'm thinking of it but would feel a lot more confident if my fellow female writer joins in too.

Girl Power eh?

Over-girl power sef! As long as it isn't romance, count me in

Ishilove,thanks 4 d well told story,and thanks in advance 4 d larry detection story.

Damex333: Ishilove,thanks 4 d well told story,and thanks in advance 4 d larry detection story.

You are very welcome, Sir Damex333.

As for Larry's story, I will do my 'bester'.

Ishilove:
Almost there. Thank you for your patience, dear. I can imagine I haven't been the fastest writer, or the easiest to follow, but you have been exceedingly patient. Thank you and God bless you.

Amin oh. I've seen d potentials of u clinching ANA or NLNG Awards so dt u can remember me.

Didn't I post honourables pix some 30 pages ago?
Pls where's the link to the detective story by Larry sun?

Nice one Ishi. Tiri "Gbosa" for you.

So what's next now?