Please Hellp - Romance - Nairaland
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Help! Hellp! Hellp!!! (2) (3) (4)
| Please Hellp by Reanaa: 5:51pm On May 22, 2012 |
Pls I will like ur suggestions on this matter am currently facing. I have been with steph for 6yrs, I know he loves me but my problem is I can't convince myself dat I love him too. I tried to see if I can develop the same love he have for me but I have found myself dated 2 other guys while still with him thou the other relationships ended due to obvious reason dat we can't marry. i still feel a vacuum even thou am with steph not till I met Collins this year,my love life become alive again, I really feel a man in my life now, he loves me and I loves him too.and the more we get to know ourselves the more we grow more in love. We have common goals, he is understanding, he makes me happy. I don't mean we r being intimate becos that's out of it for now. We so mush enjoy the company of each other in fact I don't stop missing him whenever we are apart, the feeling is mutual. Not quit long this guy proposed marriage and my heart says yes. At this same period steph is seriously disturbing me to meet my parents but I never allowed him. Collins requested dat I should inform my parent he is coming to see them, and he came with his friend to our house on sunday and after he left my parents called me for a talk and were hulling insults on me. Dat why should I choose to marry someone who is not of same level with me at least one who is more financially stable other than him. I know steph just got a better job and they know about him so now they are say why not steph why this? Am really hurt now cos they eare kickin against this one I love and I ask why should I marry someone I don't have any feelings for? I will still be looking outside if I should settle with him. What happen to my happiness? My parent don't understand that it takes more than money to keep a woman at home. Why can't I marry someone I can be proud of with or without money? It would have been better if they suggest we hold on and get to know more than saying not this one. I know he is not lazy and am not too. He is bright and willing to pursue his education when things change and am ok with dat. How will I convince my parent dat I dis man is the one I love and want to be with becos now they don't want to hear anything? Pls mistakes, am typing with my phone plus my head is hurting now. |
| Re: Please Hellp by Nobody: 6:18pm On May 22, 2012 |
follow ur heart! is d collins unemployed? |
| Re: Please Hellp by Mynd44: 6:21pm On May 22, 2012 |
Who has the time to read what you wrote there? |
| Re: Please Hellp by Reanaa: 6:27pm On May 22, 2012 |
DONkollione: follow ur heart!. No, he is doing something at the moment, thou not fat income. |
| Re: Please Hellp by Reanaa: 6:31pm On May 22, 2012 |
Mynd_44: Who has the time to read what you wrote there?I know u don't have time but u can read it. U don't know ur suggestion might be helpful. |
| Re: Please Hellp by Nobody: 6:34pm On May 22, 2012 |
Reanaa: . No, he is doing something at the moment, thou not fat income. gv ur parent reason then. bcus even d steph started somewhere. if the guy is hardworking n not static go ahead!! not forgetting PRAY! |
| Re: Please Hellp by Reanaa: 6:44pm On May 22, 2012 |
DONkollione:tanx especially for the prayer part. Even before I met collins I prayed over my relationship and it was as if he was the answer. I will not relent to pray over this situation |
| Re: Please Hellp by Nobody: 6:45pm On May 22, 2012 |
@OP its called KARMA, and it slapped you in the face, big time!!!!!! you were cheating on Steph, planning to marry another guy, and you still have the audacity to talk as if your actions are right.........ok let me help you in sorting your life out: 1) face Steph and let him know that it is over. 2) face your parents and try to make them understand that the donkey you want to marry is THE ONE 3) when all is well with your family then marry the donkey. pls dont get offended if i call Collins a donkey, but only a donkey would want to marry a gal that is clearly cheating on a bf to be with him. Karma will eventually meet with his donkey [b]a[/b]ss soon too. |
| Re: Please Hellp by tpia5: 6:47pm On May 22, 2012 |
steph is a girl's name @ poster. steve is the short form of stephen, masculine (n). |
| Re: Please Hellp by Killz1(m): 6:54pm On May 22, 2012 |
Never ever ever think that you know more than your parents when it comes to love and relationships. . . Never ever. They've known about steph for a long time, and are probably aware that you dated two other guys while simultaneously dating steph, right? That is enough to show any parent how fickle minded you are. Be truthful to yourself. You no longer have any feelings for steph, so why tha bloody hell are you still stringing him along? Keeping him as an option, right? Break up with steph properly, and then be truthful to your parents about your relationship status with steph, whom they already know. Your parents know you better than you know yourself. It's not about money here. It's true that alot of people equate money to happiness, but then, no parent wants their child to suffer. . .times are fccking hard! I think that's the angle they are more interested in now currently. But you alone can change that. . . No one from on here will come talk to your parents for you. Tell them why you cannot be with steph anymore, and why you want to be with collins. Even if they may want financial stability for you, most important to them is your happiness. Make no mistake about that. Currently, they think money makes you happy. This is not the time for your to withdraw into your shell and start crying, you have to brave up, since this may turn out to be the most important decision you ever take in your life. Be brave and respectful when talking and explaining to them. Parents like to see a well composed child hold her grounds and respectfully outlining her ideas beliefs and wants. If they don't want to hear anything now, fine. Let them be, and then you COME BACK harder and more subtle when they are in a better mood. If you are closer to your dad, meet him and soften his face first. If you are closer to mum, do the same. When you've won one of them over, the other will be a piece of cake. What i'll hate is you making up stories about steph or collins. I believe you are old enough to know what you want. Be straight forward about it and maintain your stand. . . In the end, the realization will hit them that you have your life to live, and that how you set your bed is how you'll lay on it. But it all begins with your manner of approach. If you approach them like a lopsided discombobulated baby, don't expect them to give you audience like an adult. . . . 1 Like |
| Re: Please Hellp by Odunnu: 6:59pm On May 22, 2012 |
I feel bad you have been cheating on Steph. You can now imagine what/how he will feel when he finds out. You need to untangle your life first before you decide to be with Collins |
| Re: Please Hellp by Mynd44: 7:02pm On May 22, 2012 |
Reanaa: I know u don't have time but u can read it. U don't know ur suggestion might be helpful.Okay so I read it and here goes. Are you effing nuts? You cheated on a guy without feeling an ounce of guilt and you run here for advice. You had forsaken all innocence in your aren'ts eyes when you started cheating and so you are no better than them. Here are a couple of pointers to get your life back in order. Break up with the first dude and make him understand that you don't love him(make sure your parents know you have broken up) secondly, encourage the current dude Stephen or whatever his name is to get a job if he does not have one and if he has, he should get closer to you and in extension, your family perhaps if they see how happy you guys are together, they might change their position. Note: If the first dude comes after you with a gun, it's your fault |
| Re: Please Hellp by Reanaa: 7:02pm On May 22, 2012 |
MRbrownJAY: @OP. U can call it cheat but dats not it. We were platonic frnds yes, he talks abt future with me yes, till recently he got a job and became serious abt it. A woman can keep 1 or 2 male frnds as long as u maintain chaste, till u r convince whom ur heart goes out for, we were not engaged and friendship is different from marriage and I have value for dat institution hence I don't won to look outside while married. |
| Re: Please Hellp by Nobody: 7:03pm On May 22, 2012 |
Odunnu: I feel bad you have been cheating on Steph. You can now imagine what/how he will feel when he finds out. no be today cheating start iiioo! since d dayz of adamu!  |
| Re: Please Hellp by Nobody: 7:20pm On May 22, 2012 |
Reanaa: . U can call it cheat but dats not it. We were platonic frnds yes, he talks abt future with me yes, till recently he got a job and became serious abt it. A woman can keep 1 or 2 male frnds as long as u maintain chaste, till u r convince whom ur heart goes out for, we were not engaged and friendship is different from marriage and I have value for dat institution hence I don't won to look outside while married. come on lady, stop lying to your own damn self......... didnt this man "that is supposedly your friend" not go to talk to your parent about marriage?! what kind of friendship is that, that you are even ok with such an act, WHILE IN A R/SHIP WITH ANOTHER MAN?! if you really believe that you did no wrong here then i suggest you quickly wake up....its called HONESTY, and you have no ounce of it. if you had no plan to be with Steph then you should have dumped him and moved on with your life, instead of stringing him along like a puppet for 6 long yrs (while planning to be with another man). i do hope you never find peace because if i was Steph (or he was a friend of mine), i surely would make sure you see NO PEACE in this world. r/ship is not by force, if you dont want to be with a man then LET HIM GO! |
| Re: Please Hellp by Reanaa: 7:42pm On May 22, 2012 |
@killz, parents know better than us and they want good for us, no doubt. But there comes a time when their ideas conflicts with those of our wants and desires, I think they should be more of suggestive or advise instead of deciding what u should do. agreed I cheated, am only a human, at a point I couldn't convince myself I will love him so I tried another till I met collins. No one is perfect till u find someone u can flow with u will never be satisfied. I liked steph as a frnd, we are helpful to each other but something was missing. I will put ur advice to work, tanx a lot.@ MD it's for d good of both of us. I know very well how he will feel but I want him to be happy afterwards, I know it not going to be easy but I have to. |
| Re: Please Hellp by 190: 7:50pm On May 22, 2012 |
Nigerian girls and double dating God abeg ooh! |
| Re: Please Hellp by Reanaa: 7:51pm On May 22, 2012 |
@ JB, pls don't take it personal. U don't wish someone such. We will remain good friends, I want good for him and am sure he do same for me. |
| Re: Please Hellp by Mynd44: 8:02pm On May 22, 2012 |
190: Nigerian girls and double datingWe already know your stance on this issue |
| Re: Please Hellp by 190: 8:10pm On May 22, 2012 |
Mynd_44: which is why we prefer |
| Re: Please Hellp by dealordea(m): 10:39pm On May 22, 2012 |
MRbrownJAY: Man!!! Really love your respond and I love every blunt part of you and I hope this donkey will learn that stringing a guy along for six years was inhunman and cruel!! You should have let him know you don't feel anything rather than keeping him as a second option!!! If am the guy, I will make your life a hell so when next you come into this life, you will never wish to waste people time.. |
| Re: Please Hellp by Nobody: 11:10pm On May 22, 2012 |
It's your life and your happiness. You're the one who has to wake up everyday and live with yourself ...and the man you love/do not love. You already know you don't love steph and him having money won't make you happy. Choose wisely. |
| Re: Please Hellp by Rocktation(f): 11:53pm On May 22, 2012 |
How certain are you, that you still won't get tired after 6years with Collins? |
| Re: Please Hellp by Mynd44: 6:42am On May 23, 2012 |
190:Good for you |
| Re: Please Hellp by Reanaa: 7:05am On May 23, 2012 |
@ deal do u even know everything? If u don't want to be happy then make others not to be happy. Look when we started dis relationship, there are things I dislike abt him and things I like but former keep bordering me and I told him abt those thing, he promise to make changes, abt his education, I encouraged him to further his education of which enrolled and latter quit the programme. At a point I could no longer contend with some of his attitude that irritates me and I suggested we take a break. After some months he sent his friend to come a beg me so we can reunite. When his frnd came I explained reasons why I want out but he said his friend is repentant, and willing to improve. I felt pity when my friend came to join the meeting becos he was depressed frm how he looks. I decided to take him back becos I want him to be happy again. But things keep reaping itself afterwards. There are some inherent attitude u cannot change in a person and those things don't make me happy even thou he is happy the way I am. If u try ur best to work out things, see if ur friend will improve in the areas dat ur happiness depends but no change, what will u do? If the story were dat a man dumped a lady after six yrs, u will rather rejoice and blame it on her bad character of a woman. Pls be realistic. |
| Re: Please Hellp by 190: 7:13am On May 23, 2012 |
^Excuze excuse, you were faulty not breaking up wiv him before dating a new dude face it |
| Re: Please Hellp by Reanaa: 7:16am On May 23, 2012 |
My concern is now dat my parents don't approve of collins becos he doesn't meet their criteria, they also mentioned dat he is frm another state,will it amount to disobedient if I go against their wish? Also it ok for me to let him know how my parents feel abt him? Or should I tell him to wait till he gets plenty money to show them he can take care of me? |
| Re: Please Hellp by Reanaa: 7:18am On May 23, 2012 |
190: ^Excuze excuse, you were faulty not breaking up wiv himok noted |
| Re: Please Hellp by 190: 7:26am On May 23, 2012 |
Reanaa: My concern is now dat my parents don't approve of collins becos he doesn't meet their criteria, they also mentioned dat he is frm another state,will it amount to disobedient if I go against their wish? Also it ok for me to let him know how my parents feel abt him? Or should I tell him to wait till he gets plenty money to show them he can take care of me? smh |
| Re: Please Hellp by Reanaa: 7:36am On May 23, 2012 |
190:why? |
| Re: Please Hellp by Riskymallam: 8:35am On May 23, 2012 |
Reanaa: My concern is now dat my parents don't approve of collins becos he doesn't meet their criteria, they also mentioned dat he is frm another state,will it amount to disobedient if I go against their wish? Also it ok for me to let him know how my parents feel abt him? Or should I tell him to wait till he gets plenty money to show them he can take care of me? KARMA'S a b1tch, and I hope it slaps stars into your eyes in the not too distant future. Deceive one man, and manipulate the other, and I'm certain the new "mugu" proposing marriage doesn't know about your old "puppet" You want happiness, but thats a one sided happiness and its unattainable, because you don't have the happiness of your "puppet" collins at heart. There are 3 personalities you can't deceive viz God, the Devil and Your humble self. P.S: You also lack that stuff called "Integrity". F.Y.I it's not sold at the supermarket. |
| Re: Please Hellp by Reanaa: 9:50am On May 23, 2012 |
@ mallam u r not even God to judge. Do u know @ a time last year someone came and asked for my hand in marriage and I said no. When I latter told him, he said well dat given that am a woman I may not have to wait for him, especially then he hasn't got his current job dat I should go but if I can wait fine. So tell me did I leave him cos he dint have a job or dat I found some am more comfortable with? |
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