Read my daily gist on my blog www.runsbabe.com

Today I go home after my last lecture to drop some money for my mother. I stop at Yaba to get some provisions. When I get home, my mum is alone. She is happy to see me.

"Ah, so you came."

I am not happy to see the bandage on her forehead. That old man is lucky he is not at home.

"Yes I did," I tell her, asking how my younger ones are. She tells me that they are in school. I don't need to ask about my aunt I hear soon enough how she is constantly "dreaming up"' spiritual problems.

"Two days ago," my mum informs me with a sad face. "She said she saw me trying to force food into her mouth in her dreams."

I shake my head in wonder. I am beginning to wonder about my aunt's state of mind. My aunt is the poster child of a perfectly religious person and she never runs out of problems. From her ogogoro loving male children to my two unmarried female cousins with children in tow, and a husband who depends on my father''s meagre income to sustain his wife, children and himself, she constantly has something to bind and cast the devil for. As if that is not enough, those silly dreams of hers are never in short supply. Now she manages to accuse my mother of witchcraft.

"I challenged her and we started arguing."

And of course my father takes side with his elder sister naturally. I think again how scary marriage looks. I drop off the provisions and the money. My mother asks me how I am surviving, I tell her about a friend of mine called Esther that loans me money. She looks a little worried but she doesn't pursue the subject. I leave the house an hour later. I don't want my dad or his sister to meet me at home. I tell my mum to ask my sister to call me. I am supposed to give her some money.

It is almost dark before I get back to school. I meet Evelyn in the room but she is not alone. Her boyfriend Ola is sprawled on the bed. I can see from the way he is looking that something was happening before I came in. It had taken five minutes of pounding on the door for her to open it. I greet him and sit on the bed. Evelyn continues to giggle on his lap and I am very uncomfortable. After the afternoon heat, all I want to do is strip off my clothes and have a long shower. I take off my shoes and look everywhere but at them. Soon enough, he gets the message and leaves. Evelyn goes to see him off. I pull down my towel from where it hangs on the bunk and rush with my bucket to the bathroom. I don't spend up to fifteen minutes in the bathroom but when I come back, Evelyn and her friend Bose from the next room are involved in an argument. I hear the raised voices before I enter the room.

"Durex is better jor." Punctuated with loud laughing and clapping. Evelyn is truly in a class of her own. There is nothing too sacred or too difficult to discuss with her. And she is not even a runs girl. Her friend thinks differently about her opinion of course.

"It is a lie." She announces with a vigorous shaking of her head. "Durex is not so ribbed."

"Maybe the one you use is not ribbed, my boyfriend uses the extra sensitive type."

"How do you know this?" Bose is sneering now.

Evelyn giggles as I towel my body dry. "I have the pack with me and I can read what is on it."

I am interested in the conversation now. "An empty pack?" Esther always walks around with a pack of rubbers. I should get one too.

"No," Evelyn says, shaking her head. "He gave me just in case he runs out of supply."

"Have you heard of Lifestyles rubbers?" Bose is reluctant to give up her crown as a condom expert.

"Lifestyles ke?" Evelyn asks laughing. "Na club?"

"It is not so common in Nigeria." Bose lectured us. Now I am sitting on my bed and listening. "It is good for well endowed men."

Hmmmm really? I remember the one I saw with a client. "Have you heard of skinless rubbers?"

The two friends turn to look at me as if I just spoke Chinese.

"Skinless?" Bose asks, blinking at me.

I feel like the expert now. "It is pink in colour and almost doesn't feel like it is there when a man wears it."

"Really?" Evelyn asks, drawing close. "Where can I get it?"

Ok, I don't know the answer to that one. "It is imported too." I say with a shrug.

"I wish I can get it o!" Bose says with a loud laugh. "Skinless is it."

"You want gold circle?" Evelyn asks, tongue in cheek.

"God forbid." Bose says shuddering. "That thing is useless." She shakes her head. "Even my maiguard uses better rubber."

"What?" Evelyn asks in mock horror. "How exactly do you know that?" She starts to wriggle her forefinger at her friend. "I am suspecting you o!"

This draws laughter from Bose and the two friends begin a lengthy discussion of varying sizes of men things. I am not telling. Those girls. Anyway, time to go now. See you tomorrow.

Love,
Runsbabe.

What a load of poo