moremi2008: Like Feminine A said, it all depends on the reason for the first divorce. The OP needs to find out why the first wife left. My neighbor divorced his first wife because while he was hustling in America, the woman was cheating. He remarried a never-married young woman and they are very happily married to this day (in fact, the new wife helped raise the 2kids from the previous marriage and had 3 more kids of her own).

Like I said, it all depends on why the first marriage failed. Do your research and due-diligence well. Good luck!

See the way you said it as if you can vouch that the man was wearing an iron pant while he was hustling in America.Some men just digust me!!!!!!!! Arrrrgh

feminine A: Before a woman delve into marriage with a divorcee especially one that has never been married, she needs to do her research properly. What caused her man's divorce? What re the 'irreconcillable differences'(that's the grammar they use this days) between the man and his formal wife.
The truth is like the yourbas will say its the same rod that was used to beat the 1st wife is the same rod that will be used on the second wife. This research is very important.
Ask outsiders too to be able to come to a firm conclusion.
Then is the woman ready for rejection from the mans kids?
Initially, she will be rejected and also there will be rift between her and the kids especially the mature ones how is she planning to handle it and show the kids she's not a rival?is she ready to share the love of the man with his kids?many at times women marrying divorcees ignore this but it is one of the majoor causes of rift in the home. Your place as a wife is different from their place as his kids never get jealous.

Finally is she ready to take this kids as her own?
Marriage to a divorcee must be handled with a lot of research and preparation and not allow ones emotions be cloud one's sense of judgement.

Seconded. u just said it. Shikina

yam:


i become fearful and i dont understand why people dont consider God recipe for marriage

An unmarried man with and unmarried woman before u can marry a divorcee the man or the woman must be died.

Just wondering.

My dear if you do not know how to speak/write proper english, why not write in your mother's tongue. It's not by force to speak english you know.

you can go ahead . . .
Marrying a divorcee is a great idea
when he divorces you . . .
Crawl back to NL to give us the full details

Lexoria:


See the way you said it as if you can vouch that the man was wearing an iron pant while he was hustling in America.Some men just digust me!!!!!!!! Arrrrgh

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Iron pant....I guess she was spending his hard earned dollars to look good for the local champions.

Pet79: pls nairalanders i need your help and advise, i just discovered that the girl i have been going out with for almost a year is having an affair with my boss, she was a youth corper serving in another deptarment but the same block. pls i need your advise.

i don't mean to be rude,my boss left his system on and on facebook i saw love messages btw him and girlfriend sorry bad friend

Why don't you start a new post and in the proper section. if i were you, i will end the relationship but before that try and find the truth.

@pet79

Eyaa. Pele.

You need to sit down and think of what to do.

First, ensure that girl your boss is kpekusing is actually your babe.
If she actually is, get hard evidence. E.g. use your mobile phone to snap the communication between them. That's the easy part.

Second, think even harder about way forward. Since the dude is your boss, you must consider if you want to keep the job. Is it a well-paid/dream job?
Do you want to keep it? The job market is not good right now. Except you have special skills highly in demand (not based on hearsay but reality).

Sorry to say but if it is your dream job, a philandering babe is not worth losing it for. Just pretend not to but end it with her. Tell her your "intense" relationship with her is distracting you from your job. You want to focus on ur job for now. Your boss might even promote you when you let him have her all to himself.

THIS IS NOT CHICKENING OUT BUT PRAGMATISM. Your boss (who is most likely already married) might even dump her after that as the attraction of nyanshing his employee's babe will be gone (yes, some people are pervs).

Nna life is not fair. Your boss may have promised her a job which you cannot give her. Count yourself lucky. What if she was doing this after getting married to you?

Lexoria:


See the way you said it as if you can vouch that the man was wearing an iron pant while he was hustling in America.Some men just digust me!!!!!!!! Arrrrgh

I don't know what he did while he was in the US but one thing I know is that his wife was actually caught with the man, red-handed. It was a truly terrible situation and he was right to throw-out the unfaithful wife. What exactly disgusts you? The fact that the man threw out his cheating wife or the fact I don't know what he was doing while he was in the US? Your objections don't make any sense.

[img]http://www.50centloseweight.com[/img]Nice work!

If d fellow involued is a lady-ladies today make d society blive men are hard to comeby,but i tell u issues u face to get a single mate wld so pay u off than challenges dat awaits u with a divoicee-give or take;most atimes we dont take wat God has for us,we tink we no wats best for urselves GOD made everyman within d reach of his or her mate(within d garden) at one point or d other u must ve met urs but dat might not b wat u wanted for urself then*but blive God he has a good reason <isaiah 34:16>if u let him make ur choice wat u tink is best is not even good enurf.

slimyem: what are you trying to say?
Please repeat in simple and correct english!
Thanks in advance!

.

Am saying dat u should consider God recipe for marriage,it is the best.

Perphaps u ve forgotten dat the institution was statrted by God.

gaddafe:

My dear if you do not know how to speak/write proper english, why not write in your mother's tongue. It's not by force to speak english you know.

.

First and foremost i did not speak i typed, maybe u are hearing the voice of the people u murdered,mumu,(i cant believed i typed dat)

u are actually replying to something that u dont understand, were

Always think of God recipe in marriage, He started the institution and it needs no version.

Marrying a divorcee should not be considered.

First and foremost i did not speak i typed, maybe u are hearing the voice of the people u murdered,mumu,(i cant believed i typed dat)

u are actually replying to something that u dont understand, were

Always think of God recipe in marriage, He started the institution and it needs no version.

Marrying a divorcee should not be considered. @YAM***U so harsh!

ariyokunle: First and foremost i did not speak i typed, maybe u are hearing the voice of the people u murdered,mumu,(i cant believed i typed dat)

u are actually replying to something that u dont understand, were

Always think of God recipe in marriage, He started the institution and it needs no version.

Marrying a divorcee should not be considered. @YAM***U so harsh!

No mind the guy!

In america, the older you are the more chance you will have of dating one.

brownusagirl: In america, the older you are the more chance you will have of dating one.

Fyn, wat do u wish for urself and family

Wat is the right thing regardless to the society and location?

davidylan: find your own unmarried man.

[size=16pt]God bless you, you're a man of peace!

You see, women who delve into a left-over relationships are nothing but trouble makers and they will never find peace and happiness in their own lives.

Why? Because, you can't cause other people unhappiness and pain and then, find happiness and joy in their own life and if you do, it will be temporary.

You see, there are two sides to every story and the man has presented his and, it tastes nice, eh? Wait until you hear the woman's side, then...

It's better you leave them to it - eventually they'll sort it out than you breaking in, thinking you're the saviour to his happiness and soon, you'd realise your mistakes.

So I suggest, these frustrated unhappy girls, find their own men! [/size]

Theblessed:

[size=16pt]God bless you, you're a man of peace!

You see, women who delve into a left-over relationships are nothing but trouble makers and they will never find peace and happiness in their own lives.

Why? Because, you can't cause other people unhappiness and pain and then, find happiness and joy in their own life and if you do, it will be temporary.

You see, there are two sides to every story and the man has presented his and, it tastes nice, eh? Wait until you hear the woman's side, then...

It's better you leave them to it - eventually they'll sort it out than you breaking in, thinking you're the saviour to his happiness and soon, you'd realise your mistakes.

So I suggest, these frustrated unhappy girls, find their own men! [/size]

What exactly are you going on and on about? I see nothing in your post but pure daftness. How can you call a woman that marries a divorced man a "trouble-maker"?! What part of official dissolution of marriage don't you understand? I think you're confusing separation with divorce. A divorce is final. There is no more "sorting-out" after a divorce unless the couple re-marry themselves in a new, official marriage ceremony. The man is free to re-marry as he see fits and the woman that marries him is not an interloper in any way.

Theblessed:

[size=16pt]God bless you, you're a man of peace!

You see, women who delve into a left-over relationships are nothing but trouble makers and they will never find peace and happiness in their own lives.

Why? Because, you can't cause other people unhappiness and pain and then, find happiness and joy in their own life and if you do, it will be temporary.

You see, there are two sides to every story and the man has presented his and, it tastes nice, eh? Wait until you hear the woman's side, then...

It's better you leave them to it - eventually they'll sort it out than you breaking in, thinking you're the saviour to his happiness and soon, you'd realise your mistakes.

So I suggest, these frustrated unhappy girls, find their own men! [/size]

would marrying a man or woman whose ex-partner is remarried also a trouble maker?
....especially given that in this case there is no chance of reconciliation?

I kind of like get where the blessed is coming from BUT if these people met post divorce then I don't think there should be a problem. I for one would not let any child of mine marry a divorcee

jennykadry: I kind of like get where the blessed is coming from BUT if these people met post divorce then I don't think there should be a problem. I for one would not let any child of mine marry a divorcee

If you know where she's coming from, then pray tell because the rest of us are still scratching our heads. I am suspecting she subscribes to the school of blind, foolish faith where some women cling to husbands that have divorced them and moved on in life. A divorced man is single for all practical and legal purposes, regardless of the reasons why that man divorced his wife. It is up to the new woman that's contemplating marrying the divorced man to make a rational, adult decision about whether the marriage will also end in failure. It's an adult decision for an adult thinker! This game of "blame the other woman" is just stewpid.

Hey! A divorcee may be a great husband for a single woman just as a never-wed man may turnout to be a terrible husband. What the woman has to find-out is WHY he divorced his first wife and what his current relationship is with her. If he is a good man in all respects and has made a clean break from his ex-wife and there is love between you and him, go for it! Trust in God and be prayerful. The bolded applies to everybody else too irrespective of our status.

maclatunji: Hey! A divorcee may be a great husband for a single woman just as a never-wed man may turnout to be a terrible husband. What the woman has to find-out is WHY he divorced his first wife and what his current relationship is with her. If he is a good man in all respects and has made a clean break from his ex-wife and there is love between you and him, go for it! Trust in God and be prayerful. The bolded applies to everybody else too irrespective of our status.

I second.

Theblessed:

God bless you, you're a man of peace!

You see, women who delve into a left-over relationships are nothing but trouble makers and they will never find peace and happiness in their own lives.

Why? Because, you can't cause other people unhappiness and pain and then, find happiness and joy in their own life and if you do, it will be temporary.

How are they causing other people pain? Are they the ones that broke the relationship in the first place? So, a divorced man should remain unhappy cos there might be room for reconciliation abi?

slimyem: is it advisable especially for someone who has never been married?
Does it mean your partner would be more matured?

Depending on how long the person was married for and what result in the divorce, in all probability he will be more matured.

slimyem: Is it a recipe for disaster or another divorce down the line?

Only time can answer this. The person in question should look very well before leaping

slimyem: Would the new family be totally free from the ex-wife/husband especially if there are kids involved?
Please share your thoughts...and save a soul

Not possible cos kids are involved. The person in question will have to adjust to life knowing that there is another family somewhere.

gaddafe:

My dear if you do not know how to speak/write proper english, why not write in your mother's tongue. It's not by force to speak english you know.

I dnt know why people have refused to live a standard God has set for them,but wen disater happens u start calling Gods's name,seek God now dat he is near, if anyone marries a DIRVOCEE U COMMIT ADULTERY, marry a single person or a widow

Well its not as easy as it sounds,man or woman,getting down wt a divorcee needs more maturity than meet the eyes,except one is willing to end up a 2nd wife,reason is cus he may reconcile wt his ex,yes! After much comparison wt the 2nd,cus there is no santity that the 2nd ll be more better than the ex,as for the females,men ll come around only to use $ leave them atlast,it ll be bit easy to remarry when the kids isn't under the custody of the lady,as in when she is free,if not it ll be hard to found a man that is ready to take in the kids of another.its not really easy,why its bit fair with the male folks is cus they fut the bills

Divorcee is a no go area for me. I don't advise it for any lady except you are extremely old, a divorcee yourself or a single mom.

A widower is even better at least the wife is in the grave and there is a visible reason/justification as to why he is back to being single but for a divorced man it is hard to place a finger on the reason why he left his wife. You would keep playing the guessing card game and never get to the bottom of the truth.

The divorced man could be at fault for leaving his wife and blame it on his wife. The divorcee could have commitment issues or gets tired of living under the same roof with the same woman. There is also always a history there between divorced couples and a possibility to return back to each other. The divorcee might be cutting shows with his ex wife and the innocent new wife wont know. The ex wife can fight and harm the new wife so the new wife's safety is at risk. If the former marriage produced a kid or kids, the kids would try to cement the relationship between their parents. The kids can also frame the new wife of being a wicked step mom, you know the Cinderella syndrome to make a step mom look bad. I mean why go through all that hassle and drama when it can be avoided.

A single father or widower is more reasonable and realistic. I will rather advise a lady to look for an upcoming brother or a guy with prospects even if you can't get everything you need, as far as he has the potentials and drive to make you happy, give you peace of mind and strives to make it in life to make his family comfortable then that fair enough.

Cuddlemii: Divorcee is a no go area for me. I don't advise it for any lady except you are extremely old, a divorcee yourself or a single mom.

A widower is even better at least the wife is in the grave and there is a visible reason/justification as to why he is back to being single but for a divorced man it is hard to place a finger on the reason why he left his wife. You would keep playing the guessing card game and never get to the bottom of the truth.

The divorced man could be at fault for leaving his wife and blame it on his wife. The divorcee could have commitment issues or gets tired of living under the same roof with the same woman. There is also always a history there between divorced couples and a possibility to return back to each other. The divorcee might be cutting shows with his ex wife and the innocent new wife wont know. The ex wife can fight and harm the new wife so the new wife's safety is at risk. If the former marriage produced a kid or kids, the kids would try to cement the relationship between their parents. The kids can also frame the new wife of being a wicked step mom, you know the Cinderella syndrome to make a step mom look bad. I mean why go through all that hassle and drama when it can be avoided.

A single father or widower is more reasonable and realistic. I will rather advise a lady to look for an upcoming brother or a guy with prospects even if you can't get everything you need, as far as he has the potentials and drive to make you happy, give you peace of mind and strives to make it in life to make his family comfortable then that fair enough.

Well said!

A reasonable divorced woman below the age of 40 years is welcome by me. I never marry before and i am still in my Thirties and i need here from the already known okay?

willsman: A reasonable divorced woman below the age of 40 years is welcome by me. I never marry before and i am still in my Thirties and i need here from the already known okay?

hmmm. . .