I read this and I thot to share the story. How could she?!
Segun had been on my case for at least 2 years.

I met him one hot Saturday as I was waiting for a taxi on a Grogner Street in Iwaya, Onike. He pulled over and  asked where I was headed. I don’t ever talk to people on the road but this day, the look of the mist on the window of his air conditioned car made it difficult to ignore him given the extreme heat I was exposed to.

I stepped into his car, grateful for the ride, yet determined to let him know I was no cheap girl that jumps into available cars.
“Thank you so much, Sir, for the ride. I normally wouldn’t do this but I have been standing outside in the sun for at least 30 minutes. The cabs come in trickles and are either taken or too expensive. No one is interested in going my way”

“Where might that be?” He asked, totally ignoring every other thing I had said.

“I’m going to Ikota but I’ll drop off once we get to any major road where I can find a cab”.

“You’re in luck. I’m actually going to VGC but I need to get to Surulere first. So I can either drop you off at a taxi park or you accompany me to Surulere and then I drop you off at your doorstep.”

Inasmuch as I was so eager not to overuse help being rendered, I opted for the latter option. I was in no hurry whatsoever to go my empty home. Mom and dad were on their way to Ikene for a week long engagement and my younger siblings were all in school. My best friend, Mololu had kindly volunteered to spend the week with me but she would not be  getting to mine until Sunday night so that meant I’d be spending Saturday night by myself with only Larry, the dog and Mustafa, the gate man, for company.

I looked at my wristwatch, with its recently cracked screen and declared,

“Well, it’s just 1.00 and I’m not in a hurry so I’ll go with you”.

I got to meet him properly. His name is Segun, a businessman who was into the oil and gas sector. He had been working for himself in Libya before moving to Nigeria  earlier that year. The Nigerian side of his business was only just growing and was already facing major challenges but a meeting he had in Abuja two weeks from our meeting would determine if a major stumbling block would be removed and his license would be granted.  He saw an RCCG band on my wrist and asked me to pray along with him. I promised to.

As he dropped me off at about 4pm that Saturday evening, I felt like I knew him already. Segun was very chatty, divulging a lot so quickly. During those hours we spent together, I also found out that he has a 5 year old daughter by a white French girl he dated all through his university years in France. The lady had gone on to marry another Nigerian and they lived in Port Harcourt with his daughter, Amélie. His dad was long gone and his mom had raised he and his siblings by herself. I did what I do not ever do. I gave him my phone numbers and my pin and from there, we became friends.

The problem with Segun was with his way of showing concern and love. My primary love language is Quality Time and I’m not really the type to get all mushy too early. So it came as a bit of a rude shock to me when I received my first “love you baby”, 2 weeks from the day we met. I really didn’t know what to make of the message and it abruptly ended our chat as I did not respond. To be fair to him, I assumed he was simply overjoyed as he was granted all necessary permits we prayed for, that he spoke out of turn.

About four hours after, at 1 am, I got another message from him telling me how much he’s so into me and how he feels like he has finally found what he had been looking for and if I would be okay being a second mom to his daughter and how he wants me to meet his mom. I read it and responded with a “BRB”. Later in the day, we met up for a meal and then I explained how, though I appreciate his feelings, it was all too soon for me and I would appreciate if I am given a bit more time to be on that kind of level with him. In the meanwhile, I suggested that we remain friends. He looked a bit disappointed but accepted and declared that he was in no hurry and would wait for me however long it took me to realise my feelings for him or develop them.

Segun was extremely generous to me, almost worryingly so. Once he travelled and brought me an orange Hermès’ Birkin 40cm bag which retails for about $2000. I was shocked and despite loving nice stuff, I didn’t want to take it from him initially but I eventually did mentioning it to him that he really didn’t need to spend that much on me and he should focus more on growing his business.



Mololu usually saw one Harrods or Neiman Marcus shopping bag or the other and was always encouraging me to “stop fronting and say yes to Segun before a sharp girl does”. I guess because of the manner in which he approached me, it made me a bit overly cautious since this his asking out was more like a proposal and he seemed so sure of his feelings for me. I slowed things down a lot and outrightly refused to meet his mom for the first three months. I didn’t want to get carried away at all and kept praying and taking things slow. Despite our living so close to each other, I hardly went to his and since I come from a relatively strict home, his visits were sparing as well (of my doing).

About six months after we met, work commitments took him away from Nigeria for a long while. During that period, he would come to Nigeria at least once a month, bombarding me with all manners of gifts. Even when he was not around, he’d randomly have flowers delivered to my office.



He would send handwritten letters by DHL and whenever anyone was travelling to Nigeria, he would have them deliver something to me, however small. There was a time he sent me a bottle of Lucozade because I had lamented that the Nigerian one tasted different. When it came to giving, Segun was without fault. But in my opinion, there was more to consider than how generous a man is.

Sometime, five months ago, Mololu was sent to England for a training to last 3 weeks and she used the opportunity to shop and ended up having 2 extra boxes. She complained over the phone to me telling me the airline was overcharging her and then, partly because I felt it right to help and partly because I had ordered somethings which she was bringing for me, I decided to ask Segun if he could help out since I know he always travelled light and never uses the extra allowance granted to him. He accepted to help bring the extra boxes and I gave her his hotel address to drop them off a day before her flight. He was due in Nigeria a week and half after.

My suspicion was first roused when, upon his arrival, he took the bags to Mololu’s in Ogudu, instead of as I expected, bringing it to me and having us sort ourselves out. I asked for the favour. I mentioned to him that my stuff was included in the box so it came as a surprise to me when he drove all the way to hers the next day to drop the boxes off. When I asked him why he did that, he said the boxes were quite heavy and that he was going that way and decided to drop them off. I had more questions but felt since I was not his girlfriend, there is a limit to the questions I can pose without looking funny. My pride got in the way and I decided not to mention it anymore.

The calls reduced. The texts were shorter. The usual “love you” closing went missing. ‘Mololu too reduced her communication with me. Then one day, she drove to mine and after lunch asked the most random question, ‘Are you and Segun in a relationship?”. She looked like she had struggled to ask that question but at the same time,  as though that was her aim for coming to mine.

“Why do you ask?”

“Nothing at all o. Just wondering ’cause you have known him for a while and you said you were praying a while back for direction and was wondering if maybe God said no since you are not dating him”, she mumbled.

“Omololu, did I say we are not dating?”

“Oh sorry. But I kinda know you are not”

At this stage, I know she and Segun must have spoken about our relationship status and so I decided to cut to the chase.

“Did Segun mention it to you himself?”

She looked down and playing with her perfectly manicured nails, said yes. I had noticed she brought a brand new car to mine with a new plate number. She had the black of my Hermes bag too. Wow! I didn’t want to believe what I know just had to be the truth. It was written all over her face. I don’t know where I got the strength but I said not a word after that. Awkwardly, she picked up her bag and car keys. I noticed then it was a Hyundai. It must be the Sonata she always wanted ever since it was released last year. She would always point at every 2011 Sonata she saw on the road and say she’d one day, get it.



To cut the very long tale short, my best friend Omololu and my 2 year old toaster are now together. Segun drove to mine 2 weeks after Omololu did and said somethings to me. He first of all apologised. He said he was not sorry for moving on but sorry that it had to be someone I knew simply because of the sake of his consideration of my feelings and not because it was wrong. He said, as I never for once, declared any form of feelings for him during our almost 2 year friendship, he does not feel he had wronged me in any way. He said he would always be grateful for meeting me as, through me, a door of everlasting joy had been opened to him and he would like my blessing as he walks into it. I was weak.

To be honest, I’m not hundred percent certain which hurts more, the fact that I’m losing a really nice and eligible suitor, that I lost him to a ‘friend’, the sneaky way it happened or the fact that I almost executed the deed for them by creating an enabling environment.

I really wanted to know how it all happened and so I demanded the tale, not from Mololu, but from Segun himself. He told me that the week before he travelled, when he saw her at mine, they had got talking whilst I was in the bathroom and she had mentioned she would be off on training and that she would be doing crazy shopping for her new apartment. They had a few ‘moments’ that day but they did not exchange numbers. It was the day she brought the bags to his hotel that the sparks went flying. She had gotten to his hotel at about 12 noon and they went to out together and he dropped her off at her hotel at about 9pm. Early the next morning,  at about 5 am, he drove down to her hotel to take her to the airport himself and from their journey, they got even closer. According to him, he knew that morning that he was ‘home’. That conversation sounded painfully familiar and I couldn’t help my grimace. At that juncture, I held up my hands and told him I was satisfied with the information he furnished and that they both have my blessing. He hugged me and left.

That evening, Omololu updated her status with these words “Those that wait on the Lord will rejoice. I rejoice. Behold, my Boaz!”. His picture was her DP. I remember that picture. I took it with his iPhone whilst trying out an app. Each day, a new picture of him would be put on display. There was even one of herself, Segun and his daughter. She had firmly ingrained herself in his life.

Due to how serious I know Segun is, it came as no shock to me when she told me they were getting married and she really wanted me to be her chief bridesmaid though if I felt I could not do it, she would understand. According to her, she was doing that for the friendship we once shared which she hoped we could revive. I refused. But not before letting her know that I could be counted on if she needed any assistance.

At about 12 midnight, I got this email from her,

“Sweetheart, I love you. God knows I do. I apologise for how I might have hurt you but despite all, I would be a liar to say I would or could elect to do things differently if given a second chance.

Oluwasegun has brought me the type of joy I thought was only for the fairy tales. But through him, I have my very own fairy tale. I love him with all my being. I know I might come across as insensitive and selfish. I am sorry. But please, try and find a place in your kind heart to let go of any hurt you might be experiencing and enter into a place of happiness for me, Omololu, your sister and best friend since our Corona days. It should not be heard that we are fighting over a man and remember, my darling, you never were in a relationship with Segun.

You never took the plunge, you shielded your heart from hurt and refused to commit to anything. I know you babes. When you truly love a man, you have no time for such long due diligence exercises. If you want to be sincere with yourself, you would admit that Segun never did anything to your heart. Your heart did not skip beats with the sound of his voice. Your body never quivered with the touch of his hands. I understand you two never even kissed. You clearly never felt love for him.

However, I cannot discount the friendship you shared. Till date, he still goes on and on about how you are the only friend whose loss moved him to his core. I can testify too of your level of regard of your friendship and respect for him. But my dear, friendship and respect are not solid foundation enough upon which to construct a marriage. You knew this and this is why you stalled. What did not grow in 2 years would most likely never grow.

I hope you understand that the aim of this email is not to throw in your face the fact that Oluwasegun and yourself never had anything concrete but to let you take a proper, honest and dispassionate look at goings on. If you do, forgiving me would come, naturally.

I can’t stop loving you dear. I am sad that the vow we made to each other 16 years ago to be each others’ maids of honour even if one got married first would not be fulfilled. Please, re-examine your heart and find a place in it to forgive me.

Yours now and always,

‘Mololu.”

The tears came pouring down. I couldn’t say exactly why and they were not asking. I felt sorry for myself. I felt sad because I really wasn’t crazy about Segun but we could have made it work, I guess. Omololu now was benefitting from all the prayers I invested in Segun, all the fasting. That, more than anything hurt me. I would have married Segun. I just needed him to pass one more test and voila, I’d have said yes to him. I never thought he’d stop loving me. I never though I’d lose him and certainly not to my friend, my supposed best friend.

***

I eventually decided to be her Chief Bridesmaid and muster strength to be happy for her. There was no faking the look of intense joy on her face when I told her I changed my mind. She jumped on me in her usual boisterous fashion, laughing and crying at the same time.

God has been helping me. It has been hard. Especially when I see the look on Segun’s face as he looks at her. He never looked at me that way, I must confess.

His business has been doing greatly and he is sparing nothing for his wedding. His daughter, upon Omololu’s request, will be both the little bride and the flower girl. Omololu’s nephew will be the ringbearer. Her Eli Saab dress is absolutely beautiful. Segun flew us both to England to get it. She asked for a size bigger and I suspect she is pregnant.



With each day, the feeling of hurt and betrayal gets slowly taken over by happiness for her and hope for my own future. I still haven’t met anyone worth reporting on and despite this, I have joy. Not happiness, but joy; joy that all will turn out well. But for now, I still can’t help from asking myself each time I look at Omololu, ‘How could she?!‘

***

Ok, MCLA readers, what are your views on this situation?

-Would you accuse Omololu of being a conniving, scheming friend? Or would you blame the writer for being a slow person who forgot that time waits for no man and who possibly had started taking Segun for granted? Or should we lay the blame at Segun’s feet, the slimy bastard who had the nerve to move from one girl to her best friend? Or is there really anyone to blame? Could it not be argued, and successfully too, that when love takes over, restraint is hard, if not impossible, to practise and maybe, as Omololu stated in her letter, Segun was never destined to be with her friend?

-Do you support long periods of ‘fronting’ or as some term it, due diligence/waiting on God’s approval? How long is too long for a girl to keep a guy hanging?

-Also, the issue is raised on the appropriateness or not of a guy coming on strong and speaking of marriage early on thereby making a girl overly careful and scared to say yes.

-I also see the matter of getting your friend close to your man or potential man. How close is too close? Was the writer silly in giving them that opportunity to start something or would it have happened anyway?

-There is also the issue of being a good nice girl who would not accept anything (gifts etc.) from a guy as you want to build things together and do not want to appear to be using him and then along comes ‘Sisi Nene’ who takes whatever she is offered, sometimes even demsnding,  and dude keeps loving her deeper and deeper.

These are a few of the issues I identified. Do you see more? What are your thoughts?

Muse with me!

Temiville.xoxo

me thinks the writer messed up. Took gifts from the man for 2years when she didn't have any plans for him. Don't blame the man, he stated what he wanted from the beginning. As for the friend. Sharp girl.

This is just too long......kai....just give me the summary.

Bitter sweet story, but I don't think anyone is to blame here.

Nature played itself out. You can't force yourself to love someone. It should flow naturally.

See how some girls kill themselves! Two years!!!! Tow gift-collecting, seeking-the-face-of-God years!! The Mololu girl sharp die. And this is for y'all benz-pusher-turning_down Nairalanders, keep on glorying in your youth. There's a 'Mololu' for every guy out there you 'test'.

See how some girls kill themselves! Two years!!!! Two gift-collecting, seeking-the-face-of-God years!! The Mololu girl sharp die. And this is for y'all benz-pusher-turning_down Nairalanders, keep on glorying in your youth. There's a 'Mololu' for every guy out there you 'test'.

This is a classic tale of love gone sour. He loved her, she didnt respond. He showed his love for her, she still didnt respond. He waited patiently...she hibernated his feelings for two years! Surely both of dem had shortcomings, but is their any such thing as ''a perfect relationship''? I feel sad for her, though she brought it upon herself.

However, she must turn thought from unfortunate past and look toward a hopeful future.

eh ya.... the saddest part of this story is just tht they were friends. Afterall the its not as if the girl schemed her way in as most might have done given the same circumstance. I hope the writer finds her own Boaz.

See as money flowing is a fuel for the love story, kai owo sweet, i just wonder how much love would have existed without all the expensive gifts.

the story resemble my own(minus rivals bein my friend and many expensive gifts), but i was lucky enof to swing my husband back my way again. Infact the tot that he was about to be taken away made me make up my mind about marryin him. thankfully i have no regrets. Its when we loose something that we appreciate its worth. :

I stepped into his car, grateful for the ride, yet
determined to let him know I was no cheap girl that jumps into available cars.

this is where I stopped reading , they would form first time or I don't fall for money yet they fail to understand that they can't do without lift and money.
Guys pls I need the summary on my desk tomorrow morning

I see no betrayal here. If anything I will say it serves the writer right.

What girl takes 2 years to know if a man is right for her or not? And what stupid test was she carrying out on him that was not concluded in 2 years? She deserves the loss and the smarter girl who knew what she wanted and was able to make up her mind on time deserves the guy.

The writer was a time waster. This is what happen to people who take what they have for granted.

Omololu na correct sharp lagos babe. Writer sorry o,in ur next life dont play to hard to get. Pele shogbo

Btw,the topic of this thread ought to be "HOW I LOST MY PERFECT SOULMATE TO OMOLOLU MY CORRECT FRIEND WAY SHARP PASS ME"

SLOWPOKE!!!!!!! Didinrin pikin! Very angry lemme manage to sleep!

My dear, 2 yrs? the guy tried abeg. Give him some credit.
Many mature men who are ready for marriage cannot afford 2 yrs to waste on a girl who may end up marrying someone else. What did you expect him to do? Wait till he reached Methuselah's age?
Your friend was smart, she knew what she wanted and went for it while you were still there setting "test". Omololu was right, when you love someone you just know... you dont need tests to figure that out...

Something similar happened to me in college, i took 3 months trying to figure if i wanted to date her or not... never making a move until my own best friend swooped in and snatched her away. It took me a few months to get over it but i am very happy for them both today (they are now married with 3 kids) and the dude still remains my friend till tomorrow. Needless to say, i moved on a yr later and met a far far better chic.

afdman:
God has been helping me. It has been hard. Especially when I see the look on Segun’s face as he looks at her. He never looked at me that way, I must confess.

No, he probably was being cautious not to scare you away... its easier to express love when you know it is appreciated AND reciprocated.

But if i were you...
1. Ditch that your so-called "friend". A true friend should have tried to make YOU see reason to consider giving Segun a chance. I suppose she secretly hoped things wouldnt work out so she could go in for your man. It speaks volumes that all she seemed to be after were the gifts Segun was showering you with.

2. Mr. Segun will be back a few yrs in the future. A man who waits 2 yrs for a woman TRULY LOVES HER. Omololu seems to be someone he is marrying because he was desperate to settle down and you dont seem to be ready.

Pele, your own Boaz dey front... next time no dulling.

One of the major differences between Guys and Girls who are willing and ready to get married now is time....Ladies, can wait a lot longer than men because of many reasons...but when Guys have made up their minds that, they want to get married and all is set...it is like a project for them.

Making the guy to wait for two years without giving him a clue or an inclination if you are going to rule in his favor at the end of the day does not give him any hope to spend the next moment "wasting" his time with you. You made him understand that, all you guys have is a friendship but he wanted more than that....

The truth is, the guy would have moved on even if Omololu was not around. He would have proposed to another lady and get married to her.

From your perspective, it appears that you are a christian or have some christian inclinations. You should be happy that, the Lord used you to bring a good suitor to your bet friend, so you happened to keep this happy thing within the circle of your friend instead of the guy moving on with someone else.

ronkebp: This is just too long......kai....just give me the summary.

Each time i read this i just have to wonder:
1. Nowhere is it written that you MUST comment on the thread. If the story is too long then move on and find a shorter one to read.
2. How did you folks pass exams? Did you just read summaries?

The story is very well written and interesting... you should give it a shot.

davidylan:

Each time i read this i just have to wonder:
1. Nowhere is it written that you MUST comment on the thread. If the story is too long then move on and find a shorter one to read.
2. How did you folks pass exams? Did you just read summaries?

The story is very well written and interesting... you should give it a shot.

I thoroughly enjoy reading (particularly good books & materials as they work on my imagination) even well written articles are included.

But for Nairaland this was way too much, a summary would have been nice more so that the story was predictable from the moment I began to read it. Maybe am just lazy about reading today because I gave up at some point and went to comments.

davidylan:

Each time i read this i just have to wonder:
1. Nowhere is it written that you MUST comment on the thread. If the story is too long then move on and find a shorter one to read.
2. How did you folks pass exams? Did you just read summaries?

The story is very well written and interesting... you should give it a shot.

Really David? and you had to comment on my post, abi? so i have to read a whole Ababio to pass exams abi? the same question that you will answer with an epistle, i will answer with the "koko"5 lines max... and still have my perfect 'A'. I believe in "going straight to the point" no need for extra analysis.

davidylan:

Each time i read this i just have to wonder:
1. Nowhere is it written that you MUST comment on the thread. If the story is too long then move on and find a shorter one to read.
2. How did you folks pass exams? Did you just read summaries?

The story is very well written and interesting... you should give it a shot.

If I wanted to read fiction, I'll pick up Toni Morrison's latest book. All this story-story on an internet forum that wasn't created for short-story enthusiasts is just stewpid. The Family section is not the same thing as the Literature/Writing section. Family Section participants are absolutely right to complain.

Yeah, too long... didn't read!

moremi2008:

If I wanted to read fiction, I'll pick up Toni Morrison's latest book. All this story-story on an internet forum that wasn't created for short-story enthusiasts is just stewpid. The Family section is not the same thing as the Literature/Writing section. Family Section participants are absolutely right to complain.

Yeah, too long... didn't read!

which is why i wonder why you bothered to respond to the thread. You could have simply moved on to the next one-line topic and saved yourself the effort.

I see no betrayals in this act. Maybe a little,but not much to outrightly call it one.
She,my dear writer,was the one who encouraged evrytin frm the onset.
And 2d man,he really tried. 2years isn't 2months. It's 24 months of loving,hopin and waiting. Although i have a feeling he might be back...sometime in the future.
Btw,that email is the best piece i'v read in an awfully long time. It was tooo on point!

davidylan:

which is why i wonder why you bothered to respond to the thread. You could have simply moved on to the next one-line topic and saved yourself the effort.

Because I can! Na your papa get am? Abeg, gerrout!

I hope I won't be writing a story like this in the future.

^^ Why do you say that?

Or are you one for procrastination?

^I don't procrastinate but ... let us just leave it at that!

I really don't know why the poster should feel so bad or heartbroken at that she lost a 'soul-mate' because she never had one.

The only thing she missed out on is the 'freebies' she had been enjoying.

I don't believe in 'fronting' never did. My 'NO' is NO and YES is Yes.

As for her friend. She genuinely loved the guy... forget how they met! If it was not meant to be, it wouldnt have happened.

There's nothing has good as a man that is upfront with what he wants....that he shared with the poster, but she did not see the same future with him.

She even said she did not love him...so! what is she crying for? You either feel it or you don't. period.

Her own man would find her, no matter how long it takes.... and this time,she would not need to wait for 2long years to 'consider' starting a relationship.

@moremi, ronke and the rest, lazy reader. Granted its long, but worth a read, I guess the writer had to tell the whole story so you get the full picture. No way to summarize it. So scroll back up and read. Don't be lazy. NB: no pun intended. Davidlyn I feel your point. I was very mad @ the writer when I finished reading. For goodness sake ladies why collect gifts from a guy when u know you won't date him. Had a lady collecting gifts and all sorts of favours from me a while back like 8 yrs b4 my eye clear. God just showed me something I could not ignore, if not am sure I would still be there, like the mumu I was. Well thank God am married now to a very lovely girl who is enjoying all of me and who loves me to death. The thing I gained from the former ex-breakup was I learnt how to be the best kind of husband I could be. Took me like 3years to change and lucky for us, we found each other.

Afdman, because you called me a lazy reader, i will prove to you that i am not lazy, this will be an exception though... , will be back to give my thoughts on the whole thingy..whingy!!!!!

moremi2008:

Because I can! Na your papa get am? Abeg, gerrout!

Suit yourself blowhard.

maclatunji: I hope I won't be writing a story like this in the future.

Bros i already have 2 stories like this (i was very young and naive then) and i can guarantee it is not funny at all especially if you have to keep seeing her on a regular basis. Strategy now is to go for broke early... if she says no you have not lost anything. More often than not i get the yes.

Tobiegal: I really don't know why the poster should feel so bad or heartbroken at that she lost a 'soul-mate' because she never had one.

The only thing she missed out on is the 'freebies' she had been enjoying.

I don't believe in 'fronting' never did. My 'NO' is NO and YES is Yes.

As for her friend. She genuinely loved the guy... forget how they met! If it was not meant to be, it wouldnt have happened.

There's nothing has good as a man that is upfront with what he wants....that he shared with the poster, but she did not see the same future with him.

She even said she did not love him...so! what is she crying for? You either feel it or you don't. period.

Her own man would find her, no matter how long it takes.... and this time,she would not need to wait for 2long years to 'consider' starting a relationship.

I very much doubt it. She seems to me to have been interested purely in the material benefits. Within a few weeks she already had the same Hermes bag as the OP and a new car? Common!

afdman: @moremi, ronke and the rest, lazy reader. Granted its long, but worth a read, I guess the writer had to tell the whole story so you get the full picture. No way to summarize it. So scroll back up and read. Don't be lazy. NB: no pun intended. Davidlyn I feel your point. I was very mad @ the writer when I finished reading. For goodness sake ladies why collect gifts from a guy when u know you won't date him. Had a lady collecting gifts and all sorts of favours from me a while back like 8 yrs b4 my eye clear. God just showed me something I could not ignore, if not am sure I would still be there, like the mumu I was. Well thank God am married now to a very lovely girl who is enjoying all of me and who loves me to death. The thing I gained from the former ex-breakup was I learnt how to be the best kind of husband I could be. Took me like 3years to change and lucky for us, we found each other.

congrats bro. I wish you God's favor in your marriage.