When you log into nairaland for the first time and you type this as your first message Hello everyone. Am
a new member.

dukila:
guy this no be illuminati. All the same i baptize you in the name of the father, of the son and of holyspirit. Be filled wit the spirit and begin to speak in tongues of nairaland.

Tnks for d welcome

When you are a Nigerian and you always believe what PDP told you the meaning of what Gen. Buhari says.

gigz31: When you log into nairaland for the first and you type this as your first message Hello everyone. Am
a new member.

Jesus wept!

When you throw your N950 change out of the bus window, instead of the gala wrapper...

crackhouse: u can continue being a new member pls. There is no problem with that.

Very funny

When u are caught cheating in the last exam of ur final year by the vice-chancellor himself.

mukina2: when JAMB sends you a calender every year.

when rats eats only your full name outta your original document...

when they ask you to sing the National Anthem in an interview and you cant remember

when your Bold-5 falls into a Pit Toilet

when you can not win a single cup in many years of competitions
when you move to another stadium and your cabinet remain empty
when most of the players that leave your team to another teams, have all won one cup or more
when you have an economist as a football manager , who never care about fans feelings but club business

when u won a promo of £1000000 from britain and ur bank refuses to pay or it is hijacked or a scam after being delievered in ur acct

okeyxyz: when you are captured by boko-haram and you are claiming to be a moslem, suddenly your phone rings & the ring tone is "All power belongs to jesus,..."

10 over 10!!! the best by far!!!!

When u are sitting, discussing and laughing with ur new found girlfriend and all of a sudden she said sth very funny but instead of laughing u come mess join am.

Goldieluks:

The greatest punishment of all,lol.

BB bitch.

When you reallize that you don't have POCKET.

When ur school authority paired u with a macho gay roomie...
When you're offered employment in Nigerian Railway Corporation...
U've got a leaking roof (directly above ur bed), u invited ur new catch and it starts raining...
Ur gf is a waitress in a 'mama put' joint...
U're sharing a room with a Mountain of Fire worshipper...

MORE TO COME.

when a bank folds up with your retirement money.

fredoooooo:

when you can not win a single cup in many years of competitions
when you move to another stadium and your cabinet remain empty
when most of the players that leave your team to another teams, have all won one cup or more
when you have an economist as a football manager , who never care about fans feelings but club business

Finishing!

When you 20 miles away from home waiting for a bus and you thought you needed to fart but watery shit flowed out your azz. Now you have to decide to either walk home or still get on the bus

when u realise MUKINA2 is an haemaphrodite

When your ONLY child, born after years of miscarraiges, joins the Nigerian Police force.

crackhouse: When u are caught cheating in the last exam of ur final year by the vice-chancellor himself.

Sure rustication!

You know God is punishing you when you Sell your kidney in Malaysia Gets back to 9ja,thief collect the money.

love_life:


Madam Mukina2, éjo o! BTW how can u all be joking about such a serious matter (yes ké, it is so serious na...).

Anyway, if you belong in any of the following four categories, then you can be sure God is punishing you if...
1) the flag of your country is green-white-green in vertical columns...
2) you look at your international passport and it has, "citizen of the Federal Republic of Nigeria" written on it...
3) the government of your country is run by criminals and thieves...
OR
4) the name of the President of your country is "Goodluck Ebele Jonathan" (the one with a very beautiful wife that speaks 'ugly' English').

love_life:


Madam Mukina2, éjo o! BTW how can u all be joking about such a serious matter (yes ké, it is so serious na...).

Anyway, if you belong in any of the following four categories, then you can be sure God is punishing you if...
1) the flag of your country is green-white-green in vertical columns...
2) you look at your international passport and it has, "citizen of the Federal Republic of Nigeria" written on it...
3) the government of your country is run by criminals and thieves...
OR
4) the name of the President of your country is "Goodluck Ebele Jonathan" (the one with a very beautiful wife that speaks 'ugly' English').

Bleep u

shenaz: Hello everyone. Am a new member.

And so!
Should we clap for u?
Mstchewwwwwwwww

okeyxyz: when you are captured by boko-haram and you are claiming to be a moslem, suddenly your phone rings & the ring tone is "All power belongs to jesus,..."

Men this is the best!

when you are 23yo girl and you turned a 34yo guy who rides a Benz down and then you came to nairaland to score points...

fredoooooo:

when you can not win a single cup in many years of competitions
when you move to another stadium and your cabinet remain empty
when most of the players that leave your team to another teams, have all won one cup or more
when you have an economist as a football manager , who never care about fans feelings but club business

Wen ur greatest achievement is being in champions league. Lol

marshpearl: when u realise MUKINA2 is an haemaphrodite

Can't stop laughin!
Wen did u discovered dat

When u take igbo in the morning and afterwards feel like starting a new topic on Nairaland

okeyxyz: when you are captured by boko-haram and you are claiming to be a moslem, suddenly your phone rings & the ring tone is "All power belongs to jesus,..."

okeyxyz: when you are captured by boko-haram and you are claiming to be a moslem, suddenly your phone rings & the ring tone is "All power belongs to jesus,..."

:Pwhen u fraud people of their cash i.e yahoo yahoo and invested it on Nigeria stock exchange and later discovevd d shares u bought @#90 falls to 2kobo. Then God is punishing u. :Pwhen u fraud people of their cash and invested it on Nigeria stock exchange and later discovevd d shares u bought @#90 falls to 2kobo. Then God is punishing u.

when you save your annoying boss name as i-d-i-o-t on your phone, then he borrows your phone to call his number since he cant find his phone. on dialing his number on your phone, he sees I-D-I-O-T then you know you are been punished for your sins!

when on your thread , u see this

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