dayokanu: I wont even allow my wife to urinate without my permission

Eat? Why would she eat without telling me? or even sleep without my express permission?

Whats the topic? buy property? buy stocks? even buy clothes? She dey craze?

Am I not her alpha and omega, her Lord and saviour? her beginning and end, Her father, mother? Since I acquired her as a slave even slaves are allowed choices

Ok the wife is less than a slave. PERIOD

Lol. God bless you for your open-mindedness unlike most snobs here..

dayokanu: I wont even allow my wife to urinate without my permission

Eat? Why would she eat without telling me? or even sleep without my express permission?

Whats the topic? buy property? buy stocks? even buy clothes? She dey craze?

Am I not her alpha and omega, her Lord and saviour? her beginning and end, Her father, mother? Since I acquired her as a slave even slaves are allowed choices

Ok the wife is less than a slave. PERIOD

though,in reverse,i get your point!
Clearly a large number of men don't share your point of view.
....and its pathetic!

dayokanu: I wont even allow my wife to urinate without my permission

Eat? Why would she eat without telling me? or even sleep without my express permission?

Whats the topic? buy property? buy stocks? even buy clothes? She dey craze?

Am I not her alpha and omega, her Lord and saviour? her beginning and end, Her father, mother? Since I acquired her as a slave even slaves are allowed choices

Ok the wife is less than a slave. PERIOD

Damn, you're one hilarious, Dude. You had my azz in tears laughing over here. I don't know about African women, but try and implement that attitude on an AA woman, and they'll put a bullet in your head, cut off your dick shove it down your throat, before dumping your ass out in a landfill somewhere, like common trash.

DaRapture:

Damn, you're one hilarious, Dude. You had my azz in tears laughing over here. I don't know about African women, but try and implement that attitude on an AA woman, and they'll put a bullet in your head, cut off your dick shove it down your throat, before dumping your ass out in a landfill somewhere, like common trash.

And you call that a wife?
TUFIAKWA!!
May the gods of my ancestors, not let me take such women as wife.

Every goodman(woman) shud wish odas well: how much more ur wife, who shud be ur friend. This is what "love ur nebor as urself" means.
Any good man/husband shud desire (& rejoice to see) his wife's prosperity/progress. & capital investments make that progress evident. Any man who thinks odawise can only be ...

@freshmoney,you need to go back to school to get good education so that when some topical issues like this is beign discussed you will
talk reasonably.The man is just being selfish,foolish and insecure!

"allow"?

Aren't we in the 21st century?

I have to seek permission to buy my own land and build up on it?

ewooooo.

And we wonder why so many marriages the world over are failing?

1. Miscommunication
As a spouse, if ur significant other does something that displeases u, let them know instead of reacting in an escalating manner, as it does not help matters at all.

2. Money Management
U should both know ur income and jointly plan how to spend it ( are we buying a house, car, shares etc ). It is a marriage after all.

3. Transparency
Never acquire property in any form and not inform your spouse ( unless it is a gift to him/her ) or you will find out that the trust and respect in that marriage will begin to erode.

In a marriage there is no independence, as you are now part of an entity ( u willingly got hitched ). Whatever you do affects the other, either negatively or positively.

freshmoney:

And there she goes! Why are women always feel insecure? Whatever happens to total submission to your husband?
Doesn't it feel great when you make your man feel he's in control?

About the property thingy, we Nigerian men nor dey include name on property anyhow oo, unless that person be dangote

this has nothing to do wit insecurity. ur post is contradictory. oneness, love n understanding can only grow where there is mutual respect n not a master/slave relationship. wateva happened to a man lovin his wife as himself? doesn't he feel great when she is totally cherished? wat do u mean by total control?

Ileke-IdI:
"allow"?

Aren't we in the 21st century?

I have to seek permission to buy my own land and build up on it?

ewooooo.

yes,we are in the 21st century but if you are unlucky to be married to a Nigerian man still living in medieval times (most Nig. Men are),you have to ask!-even with your own money.

This issue is very common these days. It atises in cases of mistrust. The bottom line is know ur partner. Even as a single I buy landed properties, infact my guy is very proud of it. He knows d locations and I don't think it will be an issue tommorow. Most of my female colleagues buy properties too and complete the project. The truth is dt no man will feel safe wit u if u can do a capital project behind his back.It means there are other things u r capable of doing. I have a friend that I pray God will help resolve hers wen it comes up. She got married but found out d guy was too generous to a fault. The guy will give away all his salary. Though his family trained him whn his father died, he believes he owes them his existence. Wen his salary is paid, he shares it leaving very little for himself.He has no savings.My friend complained but at a τ̅im̶̲̥̅̊ƨ it seemed she was trying to break his family. She just ignored d guy n his finances. She bought a land in d sons name, and started d building project and completed it. Tenants moved in.pays rent to d sons accounts. Till today , the husband is unaware of this. Sumhow his husband lost his job. He started looking for job for months.those his family dt he felt he owed his existence still continued their lives witout him.his money finished. No money to go for interview .D wife told him to ask his family, no one culd give him transport. Even friends stopped picking his calls. The wife started supporting his job hunt. When he finally got a job, his eyes opened. Now he has started taking charge of his finances and takes good care of his immediate family. The wife now feels guilty of keeping d secret from him. Am sorry cos its a secret she has to keep for life or risk d breaking of her family.

^^^

Please read what people has been posting here on this thread, a woman has right to own her own property. Let her discuss it with her man and that's it, i don't know why people still want to do it the traditional ways. There was a time it was totally right, legal and possible for women not to own properties but not this modern times when she even works for her own money.

Reference:

That's what am saying, is it a loan, when will it be paid back, at how much interest.... ehm, ehm. Darling can I declare you insolvent if you can't pay, darling maybe I need to call the EFCC.

Poster are we talking about man and wife, M&A lawyers or Underwriters because the story is losing its clarity.

Clearly greed is the pervading threat to every modern union and that's why most are as short termed as 5 year bonds.

We are on the same wavelength and the answer to that question is very important before giving a very good and unbiased reply. I don't know if you saw the posters response before your third sentence as it clearly points to the results of my analysis. It was clearly greed, selfishness and trying to reap where you did not sow that led to her betraying the man which resulted in the present predicament.

^i do not understand exactly what your point is above but if you read back up,you find the answers to the post you quoted.
Btw,this case is no where near betrayal or greed!
Dunno how you arrived at that assumption.

mercylicious: This issue is very common these days. It atises in cases of mistrust. The bottom line is know ur partner. Even as a single I buy landed properties, infact my guy is very proud of it. He knows d locations and I don't think it will be an issue tommorow. Most of my female colleagues buy properties too and complete the project. The truth is dt no man will feel safe wit u if u can do a capital project behind his back.It means there are other things u r capable of doing. I have a friend that I pray God will help resolve hers wen it comes up. She got married but found out d guy was too generous to a fault. The guy will give away all his salary. Though his family trained him whn his father died, he believes he owes them his existence. Wen his salary is paid, he shares it leaving very little for himself.He has no savings.My friend complained but at a τ̅im̶̲̥̅̊ƨ it seemed she was trying to break his family. She just ignored d guy n his finances. She bought a land in d sons name, and started d building project and completed it. Tenants moved in.pays rent to d sons accounts. Till today , the husband is unaware of this. Sumhow his husband lost his job. He started looking for job for months.those his family dt he felt he owed his existence still continued their lives witout him.his money finished. No money to go for interview .D wife told him to ask his family, no one culd give him transport. Even friends stopped picking his calls. The wife started supporting his job hunt. When he finally got a job, his eyes opened. Now he has started taking charge of his finances and takes good care of his immediate family. The wife now feels guilty of keeping d secret from him. Am sorry cos its a secret she has to keep for life or risk d breaking of her family.

[size=15pt]I'm like Woa!!![/size]

slimyem: no,she wasnt expecting a return of the money.
The husband didnt ask her either.
He had been complaining about how he needed money to add to what he has to roof the house and she offered a part of her contribution thinking'at least the house is ours not just his' only to find out otherwise.

If she wasn't expecting it in return then it means she gave out of freewill and she should not be concerned about the ownership of the property. It is either you give loan, give out money and state you want a share of the property or give freely without expecting anything in return.

The man took her 300,000 which he added to what he already had to complete just the roofing of the property and not about the whole property. Hope the woman knows the man spent money to buy that land, buy building materials, pay for logistics, make the foundation, build the whole house until it got to the roofing stage. So you mean contributing that 300,000 naira entitles her to own a fifty percent stake in that property?.

Please tell her that she is greedy, selfish and inconsiderate with her reaction to what the man did and she is at fault here. She agreed with the man earlier not to own her private investments or properties then why go to his back to do that because of this. If she is pissed off and wants to own her personal stuffs, then have a discussion with your man about it. You can have your way there in owning your personal stuff or quit the union if he still insists that the status quo must hold. She agreed to that rule when she kept silent during the time the man made that pronunciation.

They both have communication issues, so they better sit down right now and discuss these family issues before they get to the point of no return. Now for the man seizing her document or property, he has to cough that out eventually if she is my sister and she actually used her money to do that.

^mister,she is married to him!
...and if i understand the concept of marriage properly,it is a partnership!.
Even if she hadn't given him that money,she entitled to that property as much!and sidelining her out of it was the first mistake on the man's part!
This isnt so much about the money as it is about a woman knowing what/who who her husband sees her as or what her place really is.
Did she fight him for his actions?
No!
She only stepped on a path to her own security since her husband cannot give her that!
And then you say she's greedy? really?
For wanting a part of what is rightfully supposed to be hers?
For crave assurance of her place in her own home?
C'mon!
If there is any selfish or inconsiderate here,it is that man-straight and plain!

Which kain man will not want his wife to have her own investments plus a joint investment?

slimyem: yes,we are in the 21st century but if you are unlucky to be married to a Nigerian man still living in medieval times (most Nig. Men are),you have to ask!-even with your own money.

stop maligning nigerian men. You dont like it when they do the same to you. What transpires between a couple is none of your business or did someone ask you to get involved?

tpia@:
stop maligning nigerian men. You dont like it when they do the same to you. What transpires between a couple is none of your business or did someone ask you to get involved?

mailgning Nigerian men?
Seriously?
Is it maligning when its the truth?
Did i say what's happening between the couple is my business?
Did i mention i am involved or have plans of getting involved?
What's wrong with putting up a topic for discussion?
Get ur facts right before yapping mister or missus or whatever!

Bontee:

If she wasn't expecting it in return then it means she gave out of freewill and she should not be concerned about the ownership of the property. It is either you give loan, give out money and state you want a share of the property or give freely without expecting anything in return.

The man took her 300,000 which he added to what he already had to complete just the roofing of the property and not about the whole property. Hope the woman knows the man spent money to buy that land, buy building materials, pay for logistics, make the foundation, build the whole house until it got to the roofing stage. So you mean contributing that 300,000 naira entitles her to own a fifty percent stake in that property?.

Please tell her that she is greedy, selfish and inconsiderate with her reaction to what the man did and she is at fault here. She agreed with the man earlier not to own her private investments or properties then why go to his back to do that because of this. If she is pissed off and wants to own her personal stuffs, then have a discussion with your man about it. You can have your way there in owning your personal stuff or quit the union if he still insists that the status quo must hold. She agreed to that rule when she kept silent during the time the man made that pronunciation.

They both have communication issues, so they better sit down right now and discuss these family issues before they get to the point of no return. Now for the man seizing her document or property, he has to cough that out eventually if she is my sister and she actually used her money to do that.

You are a mooron!

If he knows he does not want her to own a share out of the house, why can't he start paying her back her 300K?

And she is the one greedy, selfish and inconsiderate? Anuofia!

Bontee:

If she wasn't expecting it in return then it means she gave out of freewill and she should not be concerned about the ownership of the property. It is either you give loan, give out money and state you want a share of the property or give freely without expecting anything in return.

The man took her 300,000 which he added to what he already had to complete just the roofing of the property and not about the whole property. Hope the woman knows the man spent money to buy that land, buy building materials, pay for logistics, make the foundation, build the whole house until it got to the roofing stage. So you mean contributing that 300,000 naira entitles her to own a fifty percent stake in that property?.

Please tell her that she is greedy, selfish and inconsiderate with her reaction to what the man did and she is at fault here. She agreed with the man earlier not to own her private investments or properties then why go to his back to do that because of this. If she is pissed off and wants to own her personal stuffs, then have a discussion with your man about it. You can have your way there in owning your personal stuff or quit the union if he still insists that the status quo must hold. She agreed to that rule when she kept silent during the time the man made that pronunciation.

They both have communication issues, so they better sit down right now and discuss these family issues before they get to the point of no return. Now for the man seizing her document or property, he has to cough that out eventually if she is my sister and she actually used her money to do that.

did i read dis post correctly re u saying wat i think u re sayin? it is well

Bontee:

If she wasn't expecting it in return then it means she gave out of freewill and she should not be concerned about the ownership of the property. It is either you give loan, give out money and state you want a share of the property or give freely without expecting anything in return.

The man took her 300,000 which he added to what he already had to complete just the roofing of the property and not about the whole property. Hope the woman knows the man spent money to buy that land, buy building materials, pay for logistics, make the foundation, build the whole house until it got to the roofing stage. So you mean contributing that 300,000 naira entitles her to own a fifty percent stake in that property?.

Please tell her that she is greedy, selfish and inconsiderate with her reaction to what the man did and she is at fault here. She agreed with the man earlier not to own her private investments or properties then why go to his back to do that because of this. If she is pissed off and wants to own her personal stuffs, then have a discussion with your man about it. You can have your way there in owning your personal stuff or quit the union if he still insists that the status quo must hold. She agreed to that rule when she kept silent during the time the man made that pronunciation.

They both have communication issues, so they better sit down right now and discuss these family issues before they get to the point of no return. Now for the man seizing her document or property, he has to cough that out eventually if she is my sister and she actually used her money to do that.

did i read dis post correctly re u saying wat i think u re sayin? it is well

Sagamite:

You are a mooron!

And what would you be then? . . .

Sagamite:

If he knows he does not want her to own a share out of the house, why can't he start paying her back her 300K?

Did she ask for her money back or is she not the one that gave it out of freewill? So helping your husband with that money entitles you to a share of the property which has been a personal project from the onset?. If she wanted a share of the property then make that known to the man at the point you are giving him the money and not leaving things to assumptions.

Sagamite:

And she is the one greedy, selfish and inconsiderate? Anuofia!

Yes because she is trying to reap where did not sow as i doubt if the 300k makes even up to 5% of the total cost to build the house.

bukatyne: did i read dis post correctly re u saying wat i think u re sayin? it is well

Why don't you state what is not right with my post instead of thinking everyone has to go with your own interpretation of the matter. We are all different way of thinking and engaging with other people with their ideas helps to expand your understanding of life. You are free to discuss as it is a discussion thread or keep on lamenting that it is well from the side.

Women own 4% of land in North-West, and just over 10% in SE and SS - from BC/DFID Gender in Nigeria 2012: improving the lives of girls and women in nigeria Report.

carry on

freshmoney:

Good point there. There is nothing derogatory in jointly making a business ventures with your wife, I do this as well. I thought you said you would buy her a house while you are still living under the same roof, hence the 'sheer gross bunkum'. A woman that does something(especially a landed property)individually without her husband consent isn't worth being called a wife! What is she teaching her children? That woman deserves that strict response from that man.

Either we like or not, our tradition is deep-rooted in us, and to me, a man is dominant over everything. I love my woman, but I would not accept that rubbish from her! That is the fact.

Its not your fault!!!!I hope you have sisters who will become slaves in their married homes.

Bontee:

Why don't you state what is not right with my post instead of thinking everyone has to go with your own interpretation of the matter. We are all different way of thinking and engaging with other people with their ideas helps to expand your understanding of life. You are free to discuss as it is a discussion thread or keep on lamenting that it is well from the side.

dear, i'm not lamentin from d side, i'm wondering from d front! lol! i just wondered where greed entered d woman's actions! if d man felt building a house in his name only is right then y did he seize her documents? i wonder wat such couples used their courtship for anyways! didn't dey plan d amount of houses, cars, type of investment, no of kids etc they would have? i don't support a wife/husband having personal/private investment. it is not because de don't have d right to but because they re one and must do everything together and make all plans/decisions together! take care

bukatyne: dear, i'm not lamentin from d side, i'm wondering from d front! lol! i just wondered where greed entered d woman's actions! if d man felt building a house in his name only is right then y did he seize her documents? i wonder wat such couples used their courtship for anyways! didn't dey plan d amount of houses, cars, type of investment, no of kids etc they would have? i don't support a wife/husband having personal/private investment. it is not because de don't have d right to but because they re one and must do everything together and make all plans/decisions together! take care

Though greed is actually acquiring material wealth excessively beyond what someone actually needs and when i related it to her. I meant she wants to acquire material wealth beyond what she needs without working for it or actually needing it ( Greedy and selfish ). if she needed her own house, investments or properties then she would have done that herself ( or jointly with her husband ) instead of waiting for such incident before doing that. But in this case it is not, the husband builds a house, she wants out of it, the husbands builds a farm she wants out of it by giving him 50k.

I am not against couples doing things jointly or doing it personally, every couple will actually define and agree to what suits them best. I am of the opinion that it is not compulsory and if they both want to have personal or private investments then discuss it or whats the danger in having one?. Like you i feel they did not discuss much before actually getting married but on this issue the man said you cannot have private investments and she agreed to that. So why go back on your earlier agreement without discussing it first with the husband?.

Personally, I wouldn't want my wife buying a land or building a house behind my back, it just screams disrespect. If its her name she wants on the property, no problem as long as she lets me know why. That's marriage!

4 me, i will never forgve my wife if such thing happen. That is simply bad and unforgivable. D man shld however not have lay hands on d woman, no matter what.