Miss_Ife: That being said, I don't want to sound too harsh either. Let us know the kind of things that make you sad in your marriage. There must be a solution.

I agree with you.[img]http://www.lzxin.info/g.php[/img]

women ar the ones not happy in their marriages.


im married, i give all that marraiage requires of me, but my husband does'nt


because, he loves keeping girl friends. but its very hard for me to keep male friend. i cant
and its ssssssssooooo painful.

he is cheating on me seriously. i dont know what to do.
although , i ve told him that we need to go for court wedding, which he has refused to do over 6 years now.



Howevr, it has been my desire to serve my God, because all are varnity upon varnity.

i just want to have a good relationship with my God, but my husband attitude towards me is very very bad.

if he dies today, will i mourn for him? i dont think so, rather i will thank God for removing such A PROBLEM FOR ME.


ITS SO PAINFUUUULL

WHat i desire in my life is not what im getting in this marriage.

MY GOD IS GREATER THAN HIM

IM IN BONDAGE, GOD HELP ME

I TRY AS MUCH AS I CAN TO CONSOLE MYSELF, BUT SOMETIMES I LOOSE IT.

If guys are afraid of getting married, while not go for a babymama option and have 2 or 3 kids out of wedlock, train them yourself, that's my little suggestion

manugbo: women ar the ones not happy in their marriages.


im married, i give all that marraiage requires of me, but my husband does'nt


because, he loves keeping girl friends. but its very hard for me to keep male friend. i cant
and its ssssssssooooo painful.

he is cheating on me seriously. i dont know what to do.
although , i ve told him that we need to go for court wedding, which he has refused to do over 6 years now.
Keep praying for change and God will definitly hear you and you should also have in remember that it a nature of most men,so when crying do not crying so much not to hurt yourself



Howevr, it has been my desire to serve my God, because all are varnity upon varnity.

i just want to have a good relationship with my God, but my husband attitude towards me is very very bad.

if he dies today, will i mourn for him? i dont think so, rather i will thank God for removing such A PROBLEM FOR ME.


ITS SO PAINFUUUULL

WHat i desire in my life is not what im getting in this marriage.

MY GOD IS GREATER THAN HIM

IM IN BONDAGE, GOD HELP ME

I TRY AS MUCH AS I CAN TO CONSOLE MYSELF, BUT SOMETIMES I LOOSE IT.

Be prayful for a change and God will definitely hear you

Thank ♏v̶̲̥̅ star I knew dis early I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ life, now I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ ♏v̶̲̥̅ mid thirty Απϑ happily single, planning τ̅☺ remain single. Wish ♏v̶̲̥̅ plan work, because of all dis pressure 4rm friends Απϑ family.

like i always say THE SMALLEST HANDCUFF IN THIS WORLD IS A WEDDING RING

that is why you will be very unhappy if you get married someday! wrong notion already.

in my own opinion: men that are unhappy in marriage probably married for the wrong reason and most women do not know the reason for the marriage or also married the men for the wrong reason.

partners should know WHY they are getting married in the first place, cos after the active sex life, only the companionship can sustain the marriage.

possible reasons:
1. Men that do not get sexual satisfaction from wife may be unhappy and tend to look for satisfaction outside.
reason: women believe that they help the man to release and that's all in sex and also for them to get pregnant , a lot of women do not enjoy sex, some men are also selfish not to understand their wife's sexual needs.
solution: sex is a mutual relationship. the guy if more experienced should help the woman and vice versa, if both are not experienced, they should watch films together or look for avenues to learn together so they can enjoy themselves and satisfy one another.

2. Men that are not being respected cos the woman is financially buoyant. a lot of women tend to loose their respect for their husband cos they make money to support the family, after all they do all the work for women in addition to making money for the family, so WHAT? even if the man is a bricklayer and the woman is a professor, as long as the man is treated with all due respect as the owner of the woman's head, he feels safe and his pride in tact and it makes him complete. once he makes all the decisions, then the woman has won the heart of her man.

3. Women loves being appreciated no matter how little even for doing their primary duty, if such appreciation and compliments are not coming, she feels the man is taking her for granted, and she will rebel. neglect will come in and a lot of stuff. the man starts feeling unloved.

4. physical appeal of a woman makes plays a lot of role in sexual appeal of a man. a situation where the woman after first child allows herself to be unkept, no longer take care of herself and keep herself in shape, the man gets turned off all the time, that can douse the sexual appeal of her man and the man unhappy ...

5. Children: women tend to divert a lot of attention to the children and the man will feel neglected. Very bad. The man gets the ultimate attention and will help u show love to the kids.

6. Communication: women that nag their husbands will only push them out. if they do not give you audience, be subtle in ur approach. Men that do not like to hear the side of story of the women will make the woman to nag. there is no excuse for a woman to nag. DONT NAG ur man ohhh. discuss, make jokes even nasty and crazy ones. share everything, no secret. ur wife should be able to pick ur calls and play with ur phone and vice versa so that there will be mutual trust. tell her what u feel and how u feel and what u want. take ur Place. IT UR RIGHT mr MAN. also u shld listen to what ur wife wants and is complaining about. free and constant communication makes a good home.

7. and a whole lot. don't hv enough time now to finish up, maybe later. got to prepare my hubby's delicacy, TGIF... great night coming...cant wait **winks..

Interesting thread

Though i'm single and planning to get married shaaa

Babzilla:
Preach!
Y'all betta listen 2 him.


thats what Im saying!!!!Preach on bro!

those women went the way of Dinosaurs and the sabre-toothed tiger. They're extinct only to be talked of in stories and picture books.


I had 2 laugh @ this one but they prefer the bolded one more. Naija girls will sleep with a herd of swine if there is money to be gotten.

I wont advocate for this but then most chics have a donkey strain in they DNA as they love guys who do such. they may come out in arms to deny it but we all know its true.

There really was no need for you to be so insultive towards Nigerian women. The truth is that both men and women can be unhappy in marriages. Men can enter marriage with unrealistic expectations and so tend to make life difficult for the woman when she does not fulfil their fantasy and women can also do the same thing.
Why go the way of saying women have donkey strain in their DNA and will sleep with swine if money is involved? Are women the only ones that carry out deplorable acts?

women ar the ones not happy in their marriages.


im married, i give all that marraiage requires of me, but my husband does'nt


because, he loves keeping girl friends. but its very hard for me to keep male friend. i cant
and its ssssssssooooo painful.

he is cheating on me seriously. i dont know what to do.
although , i ve told him that we need to go for court wedding, which he has refused to do over 6 years now.



Howevr, it has been my desire to serve my God, because all are varnity upon varnity.

i just want to have a good relationship with my God, but my husband attitude towards me is very very bad.

if he dies today, will i mourn for him? i dont think so, rather i will thank God for removing such A PROBLEM FOR ME.


ITS SO PAINFUUUULL

WHat i desire in my life is not what im getting in this marriage.

MY GOD IS GREATER THAN HIM

IM IN BONDAGE, GOD HELP ME

I TRY AS MUCH AS I CAN TO CONSOLE MYSELF, BUT SOMETIMES I LOOSE IT.

have you tried to go for counseling? dont you go to church? talk to someone u know he respects.

well i guess both of u married for wrong reason(s).
also it could be that you are not doing all u suppose to do, but u think u are giving in all required of ur marriage.

when did he start cheating? after ur marriage? have u changed in ur looks? well before i can go further, i am not blaming u for any reason yet, but the problem maybe with u. i dont know the details, so all is maybe this, maybe that. if u want to share with me, i can tell u what to do to win ur hubby back, a friend of mine confided in me , and today, she is enjoying her marriage. i gave her solutions that worked for her.

Miss_Ife:

I am, and enjoying every bit of it.

goood for how long if i may ask ?

I sincerely do not know where you got the notion that marriage makes men unhappy. I sincerely see you as one of those modern day promoters of ungodliness . How could you even suggest that! I have been married for over a decade and there is no greater bliss than my wife in my life. It is all so simple. If we are simple honest people who dont derive pleasure in deceiving people for our pleasure, we would enjoy this life. But we have become so devious and are reaping from are folly. Life is simple. Marriage is so simple. We have abandoned the sincerity of our fore fathers and complicated our lives. Rather than return to the better old way, some dark agents are busy propelling rotten doctrines of living happy lives by jumping from woman to woman.Also note that enemies of marriage are direct enemies of God. We need to change ourselves, not God or marriage. The unhappiness of today is a reflection of our waywardness. More waywardness can never be the solution!

SUV:
that is why you will be very unhappy if you get married someday! wrong notion already.

in my own opinion: men that are unhappy in marriage probably married for the wrong reason and most women do not know the reason for the marriage or also married the men for the wrong reason.

partners should know WHY they are getting married in the first place, cos after the active sex life, only the companionship can sustain the marriage.

possible reasons:
1. Men that do not get sexual satisfaction from wife may be unhappy and tend to look for satisfaction outside.
reason: women believe that they help the man to release and that's all in sex and also for them to get pregnant , a lot of women do not enjoy sex, some men are also selfish not to understand their wife's sexual needs.
solution: sex is a mutual relationship. the guy if more experienced should help the woman and vice versa, if both are not experienced, they should watch films together or look for avenues to learn together so they can enjoy themselves and satisfy one another.

2. Men that are not being respected cos the woman is financially buoyant. a lot of women tend to loose their respect for their husband cos they make money to support the family, after all they do all the work for women in addition to making money for the family, so WHAT? even if the man is a bricklayer and the woman is a professor, as long as the man is treated with all due respect as the owner of the woman's head, he feels safe and his pride in tact and it makes him complete. once he makes all the decisions, then the woman has won the heart of her man.

3. Women loves being appreciated no matter how little even for doing their primary duty, if such appreciation and compliments are not coming, she feels the man is taking her for granted, and she will rebel. neglect will come in and a lot of stuff. the man starts feeling unloved.

4. physical appeal of a woman makes plays a lot of role in sexual appeal of a man. a situation where the woman after first child allows herself to be unkept, no longer take care of herself and keep herself in shape, the man gets turned off all the time, that can douse the sexual appeal of her man and the man unhappy ...

5. Children: women tend to divert a lot of attention to the children and the man will feel neglected. Very bad. The man gets the ultimate attention and will help u show love to the kids.

6. Communication: women that nag their husbands will only push them out. if they do not give you audience, be subtle in ur approach. Men that do not like to hear the side of story of the women will make the woman to nag. there is no excuse for a woman to nag. DONT NAG ur man ohhh. discuss, make jokes even nasty and crazy ones. share everything, no secret. ur wife should be able to pick ur calls and play with ur phone and vice versa so that there will be mutual trust. tell her what u feel and how u feel and what u want. take ur Place. IT UR RIGHT mr MAN. also u shld listen to what ur wife wants and is complaining about. free and constant communication makes a good home.

7. and a whole lot. don't hv enough time now to finish up, maybe later. got to prepare my hubby's delicacy, TGIF... great night coming...cant wait **winks..

I THINK U HAVE SAID IT ALL

manugbo: women ar the ones not happy in their marriages.


im married, i give all that marraiage requires of me, but my husband does'nt


because, he loves keeping girl friends. but its very hard for me to keep male friend. i cant
and its ssssssssooooo painful.

he is cheating on me seriously. i dont know what to do.
although , i ve told him that we need to go for court wedding, which he has refused to do over 6 years now.



Howevr, it has been my desire to serve my God, because all are varnity upon varnity.

i just want to have a good relationship with my God, but my husband attitude towards me is very very bad.

if he dies today, will i mourn for him? i dont think so, rather i will thank God for removing such A PROBLEM FOR ME.


ITS SO PAINFUUUULL

WHat i desire in my life is not what im getting in this marriage.

MY GOD IS GREATER THAN HIM

IM IN BONDAGE, GOD HELP ME

I TRY AS MUCH AS I CAN TO CONSOLE MYSELF, BUT SOMETIMES I LOOSE IT.

Get a divorce if its that bad. You should not kill yourself for anyone just because the society wants you to be married

sanchez4eva:
So touching...I hope to find a woman lyk u..bb smile smiley

Wait until you hear her husbands version before you conclude. Your smile may be downgraded to nokia black and white torchlight smile smiley.

SUV:

have you tried to go for counseling? dont you go to church? talk to someone u know he respects.

well i guess both of u married for wrong reason(s).
also it could be that you are not doing all u suppose to do, but u think u are giving in all required of ur marriage.

when did he start cheating? after ur marriage? have u changed in ur looks? well before i can go further, i am not blaming u for any reason yet, but the problem maybe with u. i dont know the details, so all is maybe this, maybe that. if u want to share with me, i can tell u what to do to win ur hubby back, a friend of mine confided in me , and today, she is enjoying her marriage. i gave her solutions that worked for her.

HE HAS SOME FEMALE FRIENDS BEFORE MARRRIAGE, HE NEVER RESPECTED ME,

HE CONTINUED, UNTILL THIS VERY MOMENT.

BUT WHY WOULD HE BE SCARED OF COURT WEDDING?

I VE REPORTED HIM IN THE CHURCH FOR LIKE 3 TIMES.

I WAS JUST HOPING THAT HE WILL CHANGE ONE DAY.

I HAD WANTED MY HUSBAND TO BE MY FRIEND BUT HE IS NOT.

HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WAHT MAKES ME HAPPY, EVEN WEN I TRY DISCUSSING IT,HE WILL TURN DOWN THE DISSCUSION


WHEN I ASK HIM QUESTION REGARDING HIS INFIDELITY, HE WILL BEAT ME UP.

Miss_Ife: I find it sometimes annoying the way people blame everything on marriage. I wonder, would these same people be happy if they were single ? Serious matters aside (domestic violence etc.), I don't think so. Most people I know who are in healthy and happy marriages are healthy and happy people, and they were before meeting their spouses : financially independent and wise, good at maintaining cordial relationships with everyone, good at keeping close friends over long periods of time, having healthy relationships with their own family, having dreams and goals and working towards them and so on.

My point is, if you can't make yourself happy before getting married, there is no way marriage is going to make you happy. You need to stand on your own two feet (emotionally, financially etc.) before thinking of going there. I see many people going into marriage with huge personal issues : low self esteem, bad relationships with parents/siblings, character issues etc. Those are already bad conditions to meet a good partner, but if you carry all your burdens and problems and doubts into marriage hoping the union will solve them... and your partner does the same, no wonder marriage ends up being a big mess !

Marriage is what you put in it. You should know yourself enough to take care of yourself and preserve your other half from your flaws, and make sure you bring the best to the union. That's why we say marriage is hard work.

@Miss_Ife(f): ideal, but my dear very impractical in Nigeria... I agree with what you have said "know thy self" this should be every serious human begins motto!! a lot of people carry all their emotional baggage into marriage hoping that it will all get miraculously fixed by the marriage itself which in my opinion is absurd.. I have to say I am always shocked when I see certain people I knew way back in unilag all of a sudden married and I think to myself 'ehm that girl was a groupie! has she suddenly fixed that and gotten married?"
that being said!! I personally am still but 90% of my buddies are married and every time we are out drinking after the third bottle someone at the table always starts with on complaint about his wife then the other all join in and they all start comparing who has the worst wife or the most impossible wife and I sit there thinking these used to be very happy chaps back in the days...
so yes I am paranoid about marriage and understandably so, because everywhere I look I see people who are just tolerating each other, not really happy together, or they are still together because they are ashamed to get a divorce or they already have kids... I think we all need to take a break and ask some serious questions

sanchez4eva:
Seriously U cannot compare a single guy and a married guy in terms of happiness...single men are simply just happy, nothing can change that but as for married men a lot of things happen everyday that make them sad inside and The bad thing is many wives don't notice at all

I think it all depends on the individual. I see no reason why I would be married and not be happy. If I know I am gonna get married, I should be ready to DO ALL it takes to get the best out of it. Some people hardly make any effort or expect marriage relationships to be friction-less, which of course is not the reality. I shall get married fully prepared to face whatever challenges that come with it. I don't even think it can be that bad if both parties don't put up fake characters from the beginning.

To travel, develope myself, build a career, acquire tons of quid, have fun, travel the world, go home to chilled bottle o' soda and a hundred-inch tv, is the pinnacle of bachelorhood. And that's what I want. That's what I'm hoping for. That's what I'm working towards.
But after the party winds down, I'd appreciate (note: not a necessity, an added bonus) having someone to come home to. That'd ask me how my day went (because he genuinely cares, not 'cause I'm paying him to (read: hooker)).
Oh and serve me that with a side of immortality. That'd be the "shizz".

Every marriage must give room for sacrifice,sharing and understanding.No marriage is a bed of roses,as u lay ur bed so shall u lye on it.

The way to enjoy and endure all be it financial challenges in marriage, marry your best friend. It wil indeed be a marriage made from heaven.i chose marriage anyday,i have dated lots of successful ladies and have talk to some at friendship level they don't enjoy single life at all, they all want a husband who is their friend too to share their success and victory together most of them cry alot at night over this issue. loneliness is bad thing. I had always been a bad guy i can't sleep well for two days without my wife and she can't sleep if i'm not home for a night she wil watch tv til 4am. It like taking up a job you don't enjoy if you are not married to your friend and a mother.

i'm not married.at least not yet,but my experiences as a vibrant young man,has helped me build a futuristic perspective towards the subject 'marriage'.truth be told,every marriage or union,is aan amalgamation of two imperfect people trying to achieve a healthy blend of ideologies without harmfull fictions.the beauty of any union,is the ability to disagree to agree.marriage is no exception!i musnt fail to mention that society and growing trends,have further aided in bastardizing this much revered institution.i'm amazed that men would rather opt to go cheer their favourite football teams,rather than spend lost quality time with their yearning spouses.blackberry is readily another wanted culprit in this critically sensitive piece.social networking has gradually stolen away the sanity of values we all once upheld so intensely.women now consider the kitchen a 'deathrow' in every sense.its even more 'classy' and optional to buy meals for their household even at weeekends!what a letdown!whichever way,lapses and inaddequacies are expedient.joy will only remain in an atmosphere of humility.humilty from both ends to readily admit their voids and wanting-lly adopt an attitude of teachability.there may never be a spotless marriage,but there can always be a happy one.it all depends on the readiness of the practitioners to embrace the spirit of sacrifice which of course,has been sent on a indefinite exile by many 'players' in this sacred industry.on a final note,i implore you to sincerely ask yourself this one vital question'am i really ready to pay the price to make this union work?the future of your union or marriage,solely depends on whatever your heart has echoed as an answer...marriage is honourable,and the bed undefiled.GOD said so!cheers people.

Marriage can be enjoyable or painful for both sides. But for it to be enjoyed, there has to be great understanding and trust from both both parties.

For all those who are yet to get married, especially the women, marriage is not a bed of roses. Be prepared for real challenges which can only be surmounted by the strength of the union btw the man and the woman.

Been married for almost 3 yrs, so I am talking from my small bag of experience.

Dats my 2 kobo.

he is cheating on me seriously. i dont know what to do.
although , i ve told him that we need to go for court wedding, which he has refused to do over 6 years now.

Did you actually know this man before u married him?? Btw what court marriage are u talking about? In addition to the one u have done before or what? I am sorry but your story sounds really horrible...u can divorce him if it's that bad; at least Christianity leaves adultery as the only condition for an optional divorce.

ekwah: he is cheating on me seriously. i dont know what to do.
although , i ve told him that we need to go for court wedding, which he has refused to do over 6 years now.

Did you actually know this man before u married him?? Btw what court marriage are u talking about? In addition to the one u have done before or what? I am sorry but your story sounds really horrible...u can divorce him if it's that bad; at least Christianity leaves adultery as the only condition for an optional divorce.

YEAH ADULTRY? OH THATS BAD

SOCIETAL PERCEPTION ABOUT DIVORCE IS SCARY' I DONT THINK I CAN BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH THAT.

MOREOVER, MY MUM GOT MARRIED TO ONLY ONE MAN

Marriage is an interesting institution you can never graduate from.There are challenges in marriage as there are in other issues of life.Just because you failed JAMB does not make you give up going to the university.You got to prepare harder.You might be sad @ d short run but if u truly av a strong vision you will work harder and smarter.There are moments of sadness and unhappiness in marriage that does not mean you don't love your partner.It means you have to work harder to make your home a haven of joy.Many failed unhappy marriages is because their is no strong vision for such a home.Marriage is a great vision you must work on to bring it to fruition.You need 2 luk @ d big picture of ur marriage.Quarrels wl come but how you handle it is a dfrent thing.When you allow 4 shotcomns u wl nt b 2 rigid wt ur patna.Marriage is more than sex,children,money.It is about companionship,partnership and friendship.I av had many storms in my marriage but I can still tell you am enjoyn my marriage and my sex life has never been better in over 12 yrs.In short,d teeth bite d tongue but they stl lv 2geda in d mouth.A responsible man has all d freedom he nds in His marriage.My wife is my best friend,i love her 2much.Though there are low moments but I av a strong vision to raise a godly and peacefl home filled wt God's love and peace.That I am achvn gradually.

The single reasons are the initial understanding falls apart and the woman that shows U a lot of respect now turns around simply becos sometimes U have to help one or two persons in her family or Ur family or becos she always want U around her even wen U are in de office. Or the so many suspicion between the 2 of them.

Marriage is an interesting institution you can never graduate from.There are challenges in marriage as there are in other issues of life.Just because you failed JAMB does not make you give up going to the university.You got to prepare harder.You might be sad @ d short run but if u truly av a strong vision you will work harder and smarter.There are moments of sadness and unhappiness in marriage that does not mean you don't love your partner.It means you have to work harder to make your home a haven of joy.Many failed unhappy marriages is because their is no strong vision for such a home.Marriage is a great vision you must work on to bring it to fruition.You need 2 luk @ d big picture of ur marriage.Quarrels wl come but how you handle it is a dfrent thing.When you allow 4 shotcomns u wl nt b 2 rigid wt ur patna.Marriage is more than sex,children,money.It is about companionship,partnership and friendship.I av had many storms in my marriage but I can still tell you am enjoyn my marriage and my sex life has never been better in over 12 yrs.In short,d teeth bite d tongue but they stl lv 2geda in d mouth.A responsible man has all d freedom he nds in His marriage.My wife is my best friend,i love her 2much.Though there are low moments but I av a strong vision to raise a godly and peacefl home filled wt God's love and peace.That I am achvn gradually.

hmm..........

The reason is that we have all forgotten the real reason for marriage


The REAL reason for marriage IS TO ENSURE THAT THERE IS NO QUESTION O WHO IS RESPONSIBLE WHEN THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF RAISING CHILDREN BECOME AN ISSUE.


SO in short this is it:

If you have children YOUR LIFE BECOMES WORSE. CONFIRMED.
If you marry YOUR LIFE ALSO BECOMES WORSE (whatever the trumpet blowers and love-love preachers say)

[size=14pt]HOWEVER IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN WITHOUT MARRYING FIRST YOUR LIFE BECOMES HELL.[/size]

And here is the final one:

IF YOU GET OLD WITH NO CHILDREN YOUR LIFE MAY AS WELL HAVE ENDED BECAUSE IT BECOMES WORSE THAN HELL.

So it is simple:

You HAVE to just accept that no matter what you do, your life is about to get worse. It is like prostate cancer, baldness, menopause, 30-year old potbelly, sagging breasts...your LIFE DETERIORARTES as you get older.

MARRIAGE IS YOU DECIDING TO TAKE SOME UNHAPPINESS NOW TO PREVENT WORSE UNHAPPINESS LATER. Because sex is so pleasurable that if you don't marry in time, SOONER OR LATER you will have a child outside wedlock, and if you don't, you will grow old with no children and become LIVING DEAD.

SO.

All of you unhappy in yopur marriages SHUT UP. your life would be worse in a few years if you didn't marry.

All of you afraid to marry YOU ARE FOOLS. Your dick will stop rising in a few years and then you will be unable to bear children and I am sorry for you in your old age.

EVERYONE WHO IS CLAIMING TO BE HAPPY IN THEIR MARRIAGE: More power to you. 80% of you are either deluded, bloody liars or are unknowingly taking advantage of your partner who will soon snap and scatter your delusions. For the 20% who are GENUINELY happy, I say do not get too used to it or when it goes away (and it will) you will think something is wrong when in fact it is just natural.

TAKE IT AS ONE OF LIFE'S CHALLENGES AND MOVE ON.

Advice to young guys: don't look for the woman that gives you the most pleasure. Soon shge will lose what gives you pleasure, whether it is looks or obedient behaviour or enthusiasm for life. LOOK FOR THE WOMAN WHO GIVES YOU NO SINGLE HEADACHE OR WAHAALA. Even if she looks like a PIG, marry her because ALL WOMEN WILL LOOK LIKE OLD HAGS VERY SOON ANYWAY and African women specifically balloon up to 10 times their size after childbirth and look like fricken elephants.

Marriage is not for the faint-hearted. Any woman that expects her husband to be 100% responsible for the finances of the family must be living in fool's paradise, and any man that expects his wife to be solely responsible for caring for the children and house chores must be living in the nineteenth century, don't expect to reap where you didn't sow. A marriage is 50-50, give and take, some just want to take without giving, if you're not willing to sacrifice, you're not ready to get married. It's simple like that.