If u piss 4bed in the night.we will kill wallgaeko and lizard and make pepper soup for u.(Anytime I wan sleep remember the thing,piss go disappear sharperly) ma cousins one day piss 4 bed.around 4am.d guy wake comot the cloth,hide am 4 sch bag.in the mornin,dem check us.no1 piss but bed wet.them say na me.if I come back school.I must drink the pepper soup.I cry deh go school.vex full ma mind.during break.dem come call me for class say.ma cousin teacher deh call me.say dem c cloth weh deh smaell piss for ma cousin bag.na soo I happy run go ma mama shop go report the case.(I happy die dat day) ts fun as a child

My father told me that if sb call out my name and throw the seed of pears on the wall that my head will break. He told me that if i lick Udara{don't know the english name} and swallow the seed, it will germinate from my head and if i dare drink water, it start growing fast.

we are ur parents we know whats good for u (that when I run like hell).
U will be holy if u follow our life style (my mum once told me).

Or listen to Popsy trying to advice me about sex. Just after we got married and went to spend sometime with my parents.
My Dad: Eh! my son (my name). Eh! God brought adam and Eva and put them in the Garden of Even. Eh! they did not know themselves b4 that time,......Eh! they....
Me: Daddy get to the point, am on my way out.
My Dad: Don´t rush me this is important.
Me: If its so important lets discuss it when I return.
My Dad: it won´t take time, I should have finished if u hadn´t interrupted.
Me: Ok go on, am listening.
My Dad: Eh! the thing between a man and woman is holy, its is not everytime that it should be done. U should give urself some time 2 recover after u have gone once. If ur woman is so Saeaexy that she keeps disturbing u 4 it. Tell her woman, leave me alone. I will not die because of u.
Me: Even b4 he could finish talking, I had busted out with laughter. I laughed and laughed till my wife and mum came to investigate what we where talking about.

If you eat the eyes of a fish (oju eja in yoruba) you will come last in your class.

chimuchi: [size=28pt]my parents never told me lies. they gave good examples.[/size]

i don hear. Well done

ayojosh2k: If you take mango + Garri, you will die

My teacher told me he never took less than 3rd position ( Until we discovered that there were only 3 people in the class)

If you talk while elders talk, you will not grow up

If you eat in an entrance, you will never be satisfied

You will be anoited by a Lekeleke(kind of bird) if you sing a song when its passing

and so much more...

Lwkmd! It seems our parents attended the same school,,,i remember the lekeleke stuff,mehn i no de carry last to fling hands 4 air like ajebo girls...#leke leke give me one one finger *singing*

Spirit of Okija:

And the lying continues into another generation... #SMH

Do not pick dropped food, the devil has eaten it.

If your growth is stunted, stand on 50 kobo, one to each big toe with a third in your hand, scream to the ground to give you your height and throw away.

Eating the food of your classmates will get you poisoned

Spirit of Okija:


When a bicycle was on the line?! I even came first in the University till I graduated...

If I was in the U.S, I would have sued my father to court for malicious deciet and breach of verbal contract..


And NO, God isnt watching.. (The bible says the eyes of God cant behold iniquity, and if I spend 25 out of 24hrs in iniquity, and in iniqity did our mothers concieve us, how then could God possibly be watching us?).. Nwokem, wise up..

o boy don't deceive urself. God can't behold ur iniquity simply means he doesn't like seeing u living in sin.

If you eat while standing, the food would go to your feet.

A friend's parent told her and she always hammered it in my ears.

I remember wen I stil dey small,after we don finish our food,we go stil meet mum say we wan follow am chop(cos mum always eat last),she used to order us to hold her leg(say d food go enter our stomach thru her leg).oboy see come see how we dey hold mumsy leg like say tommorow nor dey.lol.childhood ws really fantastic.

my daddy told me if i carry 1st he will buy chicken for me, i struggle tire.my mummy told me never to go close to boys else will get pregnant, i fear die.

That a mythical character called Jesus is coming back to take the good ones ( the apocalypse ) , what a load of shiite

lbotus: If a boy touches you or sit close to you will get pregnant because you are a woman
#my mum, when i started my menstrual period#

if food falls to the ground devil has kissed it

When your uncle or my friend comes around tell him i traveled since last night,lol but popsy go dey room dey sleep jeje..

Mum will tell us that too much of spaghetti will make u have stomach worm. Just to deceive us not to ask for more.

Don't open your eyes while a pastor is doing deliverance for someone you might see the demon or a bad angel. lol
Don't eat fish eyes for you will not be brilliant.
Don't pee where anoda person urinated or might catch the person's disease.
Don't look at the direction a dog is barking in the night you might see ghost.
If you take the mucus from a dog's eye you will see ghost.
If a man see's a woman body he must marry her.
they were all virgins before they got married.

crackhouse: My father told me that if sb call out my name and throw the seed of pears on the wall that my head will break. He told me that if i lick Udara{don't know the english name} and swallow the seed, it will germinate from my head and if i dare drink water, it start growing fast.

Chai! Baaaaaad Dad

it reminds me of the day my Mum failed to attend evening program in the church, when she saw the members of the church coming to our house to visit her, She ran inside and told me to tell them that She was not at home. when they came I said 'My Mum said I should tell u She is not at Home'

drnoel: we are ur parents we know whats good for u (that when I run like hell).
U will be holy if u follow our life style (my mum once told me).

Or listen to Popsy trying to advice me about sex. Just after we got married and went to spend sometime with my parents.
My Dad: Eh! my son (my name). Eh! God brought adam and Eva and put them in the Garden of Even. Eh! they did not know themselves b4 that time,......Eh! they....
Me: Daddy get to the point, am on my way out.
My Dad: Don´t rush me this is important.
Me: If its so important lets discuss it when I return.
My Dad: it won´t take time, I should have finished if u hadn´t interrupted.
Me: Ok go on, am listening.
My Dad: Eh! the thing between a man and woman is holy, its is not everytime that it should be done. U should give urself some time 2 recover after u have gone once. If ur woman is so Saeaexy that she keeps disturbing u 4 it. Tell her woman, leave me alone. I will not die because of u.
Me: If b4 her could finish talk I had busted out laughter. I laughed and laughed and life till my wife and mum came to investigate what we where talking about.

Your dad has the kind on natural humor I like, got same kinda Dad

Asemo11: If u drink Coconut water u no go no book again, devil day stay 4 ground

§☺
U̶̲̥̅̊ were told this lie also? Stubborness is good o. One ðǎ̜̣̍y ​ just got angry and broke the coco nut kept for my father and drank †ђξ whole cos ​ wanted τ̅☺ ♌ȍ hw true it was and that term ​ took 5th position.

Mothers especially can lie o. My mum said if ​ go close τ̅☺ the train, ​my body will magnet τ̅☺ that of the train and ​ will die. This fear stayed with M̶̲̥̅ƹ till ​ left †ђξ university.

walex25: Old Memories. There was this day me and my siblings joined in killing a cat, when my mum got home and she was told that we killed a cat, she told us that the cat will come in the night to take us away, wow come and see fear. all of us couldnt eat that night especially my favourite. She ask us to continuous saying "musu darinjinmi" (forgive me cat). in the morning we were told that the cat came to our window crying. Another long day of hunger,

Hahahahaahahahahah.No be small thing oo

Any time i remember this i always laugh at how gullible we are.

apocalypse: That a mythical character called Jesus is coming back to take the good ones ( the apocalypse ) , what a load of shiite

You are an idiot.Fool

terimama: when my teeth started breaking, i was told to throw it on the roof of our house so that it would grow again.

we were told τ̅☺ even close our eyes while doing it.

chimuchi: [size=28pt]my parents never told me lies. they gave good examples.[/size]

ok, but why are u deceiving us, are we ur children, tell ur children ok?

1. They told me that i am the finest, most handsome "bobo-nkiti" in the world!
2. They told me i can be ANYTHING i want to be in the world and no subject is too hard for my brain. . Further maths didn't need to say much to me before i knew that my parents can lie! Now i am a Power-ranger/Tellytubby @ Children's birthday parties. . Great career move!

crackhouse: if i lick Udara{don't know the english name}

Udala/Udara = Agbalumo = Cherry.

chimuchi: [size=28pt]my parents never told me lies. they gave good examples.[/size]

why are u deceiving us, are we ur children, save dis lie for ur children ok?

Akpu.Nku:
If you washes your plate immediately after eating, you wash away the food you ate

Nwoke m, ​ still believe this thing till tomorow, §☺
U̶̲̥̅̊ mean its nt true?

wen i was a kid my parents say i will grow short if i use an umbrella inside d house. Today am 5ft7.
They say u r invitin scorpions inside d house if u eat sugarcane inside ur sitting room.
They obviously know wat we do at our mummy and daddy plays, so i was warned dat dat kind of play kills.

I think our Parents used us to practice riddles and jokes because it seemed parents of all culture and religion did that.

So many things they told us to put fear in our mind. Examples of mine are:

- Do not open your mouth when you sleep or else witches will put meat in your mouth and you will become their messanger (Watching too much Ogunde yoruba films)

- Anybody older than you even if they are an hour older, you must call them BRODA(their name) or SISTA(their name).

- They told me never to handle lizards or go near them that i will contact 'Warapa'

- My parents also told me that the small lizard always around the house and ceiling is called 'Omo Oni Ile'(They messed up my brain, i wanted to kill them always but i thought well they own the house so let me leave them).

- I greeted all old women living in my area because my grandma knows them and if i don't prostrate every time i see them, they will tell my grandma that it seems i am now growing wings(as in becoming rebelious) hmmmn.

- Who has had a secret 007 agent watching everyone of your movement without knowing. I always felt there was someone revealing everything i did outside while playing to my folks cos i never understood how they knew.( I guess it was community surveilance, things parents do to keep an eye on their kids..lmmmaaaoo)

- Who was told that Father Christmas always comes from Heaven or South Pole?

- My folks always made sure i was locked in saying interacting with the other kids and playing football in the street makes me a street kid or garrage boy.(I always run out to play anyways)

- In the pot of soup, there are always different sizes of meat, big ones for adult and small for children. And they said only Adults must have 2 meats minimum on the plate.

I now regret watching certain yoruba movies that messed my brain up: Jaiyesimi by Ogunde, (Aiye Akamara)Ayamatanga, (Abija)Ogunjimi films: I became SCARED at nights from then on, couldn't sleep alone, running like Usain Bolt to wee in the toilet and back to where i people where in 5secs.

- Who was told that because you are the youngest in the house, you must do all the work because we did the same when we were your age. We bathed you, took care of you as a baby etc

So much more: Will yarn more as i remember other dubious sayings!!

if u take mango after Gari na die

terimama: when my teeth started breaking, i was told to throw it on the roof of our house so that it would grow again.

just to add we were asked to dance else the tooth wont grow