Bride Price Wahala! - Family - Nairaland
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| Bride Price Wahala! by Lexo22(m): 6:26am On Jun 27, 2012 |
Pls my friend Ngozi from Ngodo Isochi, Abia State needs your advice on this matter.. I am a girl of 28 years old and my people are demanding a lot from my fiancé for our traditional marriage. I have tried talking to them but they won’t succumb. The list is endless although it’s our tradition. My fiancé and I whom were supposed to be getting married by August but my fiance is shifting the wedding to next year as he does not have the money to buy those things and I don’t have either to support him as I just finished my NYSC and still looking for a job. Now My fear is that if he doesn’t have the money by next year and I don’t get a job, the marriage will still be shifted. I need your advice on this please on what to do. Thank you in anticipation for your candid advice! |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by jennykadrry(f): 10:57am On Jun 27, 2012 |
Well you see, I was in your shoes as well. I simply increased the number of men I slept with. I was doing 5 to 6 men but the money was not enough. I had to buck up and service 10 to 14 every night to get the money to marry. My husband Mr. Kadrry is just a mugu so he could not contribute much. You may have to do likewise. 1 Like |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by tasandra: 12:42pm On Jun 27, 2012 |
@ jenny,this ur write up is extremely disgusting,and un called 4  na wa oo  @ Op maybe,her family think say the guy dey pluck money...make them marry her nw |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Harpesin(m): 2:28pm On Jun 27, 2012 |
@ Poster, ask you fada if he is seelling you away, gone are the days where people charge their daughter's fiance outrageous amount just because he wants to help them carry part of their wahala....May be your fada did not know that if you remain unmarried in his house, is a big shame on the entire family, also the guy iss helping him to reduce his burden........This is one of the reason why we keep on having ladies in their fada's house unmarried, imagine am earning 70k per month and my traditional wedding list amount to 800k or more not to talk of church / court wedding pls let the genius here bring out calculator and confirm ao many years will i save to get married....mind you i will get a good apartment, transport, feeding, my parents who struggle to trained me n put me in the right shape needed to be taking care of...even if they are not demanding courtesy demand i remember dem monthly, what about my younger ones, i need to dress properly to work, i will participate in church / town meeting contribution etc.....Dear let you fada think twice and see your fiance as his son .....if my in-law give me much list...I wwill tel them to pls let me know if am buying the lady from them and pay them off, none of them will have access to my house and nothing will be forwarded to dem in future. Now you are not working and getting a good job in this country takes grace of God, let your fada remember that there are millions of ladies outside there, more beautiful, unique, rich, some are even ready to use their money to assist the guy to pay her dowry.....infact no let him be expose to Yoruba / Hausa lady who don't even charge but assist in the wedding expenses.....Boiz make una tel d poster why we are runing away from marriage now adays oooo.....Glamour T Noni. 14 Likes |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Naijaklef: 3:10pm On Jun 27, 2012 |
Lexo22: Pls my friend Ngozi from Ngodo Isochi, Abia State needs your advice on this matter.. I am a girl of 28 years old and my people are demanding a lot from my fiancé for our traditional marriage. I have tried talking to them but they won’t succumb. The list is endless although it’s ourtradition. Now my fiancé whom we are supposed to be getting married by August is shifting it till next year as he does not have the money to buy those things and I don’t have either to support him as I just finished my NYSC and still looking for a job. My fear is that if he doesn’t have the money by next year and I don’t get a job, the marriage will still be shifted. I need your advice on this please on what to do. Thank u in anticipation for ur cadid advice! @poster, Dis is part of d problems parents create for their daughters! I'm sorry to say dat ur parents are already creating an impression dat they are POOR and HUNGRY!!! Remember, first impression last longer! When it comes to marriage, all parties involved have their personal interests... Wat matters most is ur husband to be and u! Try talking to some reasonable people in ur family dat can help u to talk to Ur parents. If that fails then I will advise u get pregnant for him.... They will b left wit no other choice than to start chasing the guy to come and marry u..... GOODLUCK. 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Naijaklef: 3:17pm On Jun 27, 2012 |
jennykadrry: Well you see, I was in your shoes as well. I simply increased the number of men I slept with. I was doing 5 to 6 men but the money was not enough. I had to buck up and service 10 to 14 every night to get the money to marry. My husband Mr. Kadrry is just a mugu so he could not contribute much. You may have to do likewise. Are u sure, u are still not sleeping around after d marriage  Once a soldier is always a soldier. If u don't mind I will like to have a piece of the cake toooo.....  1 Like |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by PrettyCindy(f): 10:16pm On Jun 28, 2012 |
tasandra: @ jenny,this ur write up is extremely disgusting,and un called 4 Didn't you observe the difference in spelling of this fake jennykadRRy and also her signature? |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by angiemartinez(f): 7:37am On Jun 29, 2012 |
my dear if dey dnt want 2 listen, get pregnant n movE in wit ur man. Afta 3 kidS dem go cum day beg u make e bring anytn. 2 Likes |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Nobody: 7:44am On Jun 29, 2012 |
2 Likes |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by tasandra: 2:11pm On Jun 29, 2012 |
@ pretty c,i no come understand again my sista  so inposter dem, don full dis site abi |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by jennyb2: 4:54pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
are igbo truely like dat? what is the rationale behind dat kind of action? well my dear it is rather sad cos ur parents wants the highest bidder which may not be in ur interest. i cant believe this! d best tin u can do is to plead wit ur parents for their undstanding let dem reduce d price! |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Toktee(m): 4:55pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
Girl,be very careful,girls are more than men,talk to your dad to understand all these and abadon his greedy agenda |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Smallville4live(m): 4:58pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
jennykadrry: Well you see, I was in your shoes as well. I simply increased the number of men I slept with. I was doing 5 to 6 men but the money was not enough. I had to buck up and service 10 to 14 every night to get the money to marry. My husband Mr. Kadrry is just a mugu so he could not contribute much. You may have to do likewise. pls if you don't have what to say, stay out. This is a sensitive matter and you are busy saying nonsense here. Pls!!! |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Lowkeys(m): 5:00pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
SIMPLE ANSWER---> YOUR PEOPLE DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MARRIED! |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Smallville4live(m): 5:02pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
Naijaklef: They want to recover the money they used in training their daughter. |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Smallville4live(m): 5:05pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
Please are your parents trying to recover the money they used in training you in school. Please tell them that time waits for no man. Cut you coat according to you size. They should try to understand both of you. Tommorrow might be different for you guys. You must not start as rich family. It's one step at a time. Thanks. |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Ndata(m): 5:09pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
are igbo truely like dat? what is the rationale behind dat kind of action? well my dear it is rather sad cos ur parents wants the highest bidder which may not be in ur interest. i cant believe this! d best tin u can do is to plead wit ur parents for their undstanding let dem reduce d price! The decision is not entirely up to the girl's parents to make concerning the matter.She clearly stated its their tradition.Which means the pleading must be to the entire kinsmen.Which i doubt they will heed to because the girl's father must have benefited from others when it was their turn.They will ask him "Now it's your daughters turn you don't want them to benefit abi?" |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by menix(m): 5:12pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
Pregnancy solvez d whole fuzz.... hope P.S 3 nd Ipad no dey list shaa.. 4 Likes |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Ndata(m): 5:14pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
@Poster is your fiancee from the same state as you?If yes there is every tendency they can come down but "woe be tie yo"u if your fiancee is from Anambra state.They will double the price and nothing will make them come down.Don't ask me why.Because the answer is very obvious. |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Nobody: 5:16pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
Just be patient with your family and let your man come with the cash, or else let the highest bidder with deep pockets come into the picture. For me better you keep your traditions alive than giving in to a guy without respect to your culture as it pertains to marriage. Haba, your parents knows better. Remember how you do your things, down east. If it means being the 3rd wife to a man that fulfils your parents wishes, better do it. "Obey your parents that your days maybe prolonged on earth" 1 Like |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Nobody: 5:17pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
In my hometown(Benue, Otukpo precisely), the kinsmen dictate hw much will be paid by the Groom...they will tell u the bride price is 6 Naira yet they collect 200k. @post, meet one of your uncle, explain things to him, he might understand your point & may gladly take the issue up with your Father. 1 Like |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Nobody: 5:18pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
How much them wan sell u sef? Maybe l fit get one Alhaji or mallam for u. |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Nobody: 5:19pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
And it Is Abia? |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by lekkie073(m): 5:23pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
elope with d guy, go do a marriage in d registry, get belle, send dem pix and tell dem u r happi dat way. Dats how i won my bride......elope elope elope...... 2 Likes |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by obailala(m): 5:24pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
Naijaklef:Trust me, the girl's parents may not even have a say in this matter. It's usually those poor bad belle kinsmen that would keep pressing on issues like this in the name of culture. From the experience of a close friend of mine, the girl's parents had to secretly support the suitor with some funds to settle the kinsmen. 1 Like |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by DECOtech(m): 5:35pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
My dear, if u won't mind oh. My candid opinion is that u get pregnant for ur fiancee. Thats if u can shoulder family/church/societal bruhaha. (My people took only 6k on a pregnant cousin's head after unleashing generational abuses on her) 2 Likes |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by temmytanny(m): 5:41pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
jennykadrry: Well you see, I was in your shoes as well. I simply increased the number of men I slept with. I was doing 5 to 6 men but the money was not enough. I had to buck up and service 10 to 14 every night to get the money to marry. My husband Mr. Kadrry is just a mugu so he could not contribute much. You may have to do likewise.Since i have been reading your posts,you have never said anything meaningful in your life. You lack manners and i doubt if you were ever brought up from a good HOME. |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Mrchippychappy(m): 5:42pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
@OP The whole idea behind the bride price is not just so you can "PAY" for the daughter , that's a misconception rather the family of the bride(your family)want to know just how much financial security the groom can provide for his bride(you)and the family they are about to start . I am one of those against marrying someone just because you love him or her . Don't get me wrong LOVE is very very important in a marriage or union but MONEY also plays a very important role in marriage and if money is managed properly it can actually make the Love in a Marriage stronger . I am sure your people can be more reasonable and reach a compromise with the groom and his "entourage" or family members and then you guys can have your marriage and live happily ever after . Your family members probably know that love alone cannot pay for the house rent , Nepa Bill , Children diaper and feeding , school fees...the list goes on , They are trying to do whats best for you and if your fiance really loves you he would do the best he can while at the same time try to reason with your people , maybe his mom can become your mom's friend and she could explain things better etc. Contrary to what most people would say here your family aren't being selfish they just want to see how much financial security your bobo can provide for you and how much he loves you . In Igbo land our daughters are our most valued treasures. |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Mrchippychappy(m): 5:43pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
lekkie073: elope with d guy, go do a marriage in d registry, get belle, send dem pix and tell dem u r happi dat way. Dats how i won my bride......elope elope elope...... I don't know where you are from but we igbos don't do like that . That one na "byforce" marriage . |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Nobody: 5:44pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
If you really love the guy and wanna get married to him, take my advise. Get pregnant and proceed with the court marriage. The family will accept the available and wedding proceeds, no one rejects bride price when daughter is 3 weeks pregnant and the fiancee is ready to marry her with the least he has. |
| Re: Bride Price Wahala! by Nobody: 5:45pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
Where is the damn list ?  1 Like |
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