It's true, sha. Even though majority don't know the exact definition of feminism they will never open a book to find out. Don't worry, I was saying the same thing on another thread, they will sit and insult women but the moment a thread is opened about them, they will come flocking in crying and banging on their keyboards like lunatics about how it's all the women's fault. They blame everything on women. Their failure to have children-women. Failure to finish education-women. Failure to be civilised- women and the list goes on.

You just got to change your mindset, op. Get that confidence and treat men the way they treat you. Never let them see your weakness. They will easily use it against you and make you feel like the dirt underneath their feet.

You know how they are, be a step ahead of them as long as you know what you want and where you are going. The worst thing is to have a clueless woman trying to beat a man to his own game.

Men will say all sorts to you when you knock down their egos. You just got to build yourself up, be strong and these nasty words will mean absolutely nothing.

For your father's own-like I said before some men are just there to donate sper.m nothing else but forgive him. Every nasty word he has ever uttered, prove him wrong.
I mean you are very young, this age you are now is the pivotal point for your future. Do well and you can laugh in his face.

Because it is easier to pick on women. . .as usual.
Thank our lucky stars for the WHITE RACE!
Education is the key. . .LOW SELF-ESTEEM IS GENETIC!

I was going to say for you not to allow the "imperfections of your father" hold you down and my eyes caught that Okija-juju's growing-up story below and his summary seems to say the same thing I was about to say. Your father is all "roary" and abusive because that is what he thinks a man in his position in a family should be doing even when some of us know that there are other ways to be the man of the house that does not involve abusing your wife and baby girl. It is true that a child should not be spared and allowed to spoil, some people overdo things with the fear of raising an unruly child and while thinking "I will beat hell out of these children in order to beat 'responsibleness' into them" scar their children, hurt them deeply and put a wedge between themselves and their kids without knowing it.

Did you say that he beats you and your mum? It's scary thinking of him scaring one of you someday. You shouldn't fold hand and be getting beatings from him----speak out to one or two uncles or aunts to see whether they can interceed and make him stop so that he doesn't injure one of you please.

You sound intelligent, don't let his limitations limit you from being all you can be. You seem to me like a youth that has a great future laid like a carpet in front of her. Go ahead and be the best you can be, the fact that he called you "silly and crazy" does not mean that you are. Don't believe him. Believe in yourself and in all the beautiful things you believe you can be. Hugs to you.

Okija_juju:

I was raised under similar conditions..

My mother beat me like a criminal.. She used electric wires (the high guage ones that is found on the pole).. At some point shes started to tie me to the table to beat me.. Every form of dignity, self respect and worth left me..

She would say things like 'You will beg your siblings for money and I will not be alive to see them give you a dime".. MY MOTHER SAID THIS TO ME..

My mother would curse and swear and all worth not to me in front of her friends and even brag about it..

She came to school, bought canes, gave to about 4 teachers and had them flog me simultaneously..

She made me kneel down outsid her office which was along a major road and all and sundry could see me..

I got punished for playing with the neighbours kids from within the confines of our corridor..

I grew up hating her and at one point contemplated shooting her with my fathers gun he kept in his room..

I felt all sorts of emotions, hate, worthlessness, inferior, less than human and it goes on...

And no she didnt do it to any of my other siblings..


HOWEVER!!!! I am a grown arse man now.. I would be a father by next year.. I have had a shitload of time on my hands to look back and reflect and think to see if that woman I hated was really as evil as I thought her to be then and the truth is that she really did all those things to me because that was the only way she knew how to raise me.. I grew up to be a strong willed, tought and resilient man.. She raised a fine man and I am very proud of her..

My mum was a lunatic, but shes was the best mother she could be to me and I can only say that today because I am older and can understand things a bit clearer..

In all her madness, on my 16th birthday, she gave me her only car as a birthday gift.. When I had a life changing accident, she stood by and nursed me back to health.. She bent back triple time to make sure I got sent abroad to school even when my father said he couldnt comfortably afford it then... I could count for you alot of thinsg like that..

I spoke to her recently about the way she raised me and do you know what she said;

I know I was very rough with you, however, I have no apology.. Look at yourself in the mirror!!



My point is that its hard to find perfect parents, but if you can find any upside to your parents at all, then I suggest she calms down, [size=16pt]they are only being the best they can be.. they are only a product of their individual personalities and upbringing..[/size] I wouldnt raise my kids the way my mum raised me, however, I am never gonna call her a bad mother because she wasnt!!