₦airaland Forum

Shollypopz: Are us silly?? Is this suppose to be an analogy for what we're talking about? Dang! This nigga wasn't wrong when he said do not associate me with the word - intelligent! Damn!

Abeg who see that car bullsh*t??!!

sexkillz: [color=#000030]I want to learn how to drive. I have a car, no instructor.

She comes along and teaches me how to drive. . . Oh shît. . . I taught myself!
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sexkillz: [color=#000030]Same here!!!
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sexkillz: [color=#000030]I have never ever claimed to be intelligent nor called myself intelligent on NL before. Thinking i was intelligent was fallacious.
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sexkillz: [color=#000030]You should have let the horse take the credit by looking for the water himself and drinking it without your input!

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sexkillz: [color=#000030]If he wanted to change himself, the counsel from the first two girls was enough to change him. All he needed to do was reflect on his life and change.

But a 3rd lady had to make him change. She changed him.
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Shollypopz: Ha, my God. Is so surprising when I see pll that I thought used to think use their brains. Let me try explaining this.

A man is 20 years old. He used to date this girl that was 19. He was sort of a party guy always drinking, smoking and the rest. The girl on the other hand was trying to be responsible, trying to change him, trying to prepare him for marriage. In her mind, she has found the guy she was going to marry in the next five years.

But all her efforts was in vain, the guy wasn't ready for change and he enjoyed his party lifestyle and wanted to explore the world more. Unfortunately, they broke up. At the age of 25, he met another nice girl that was adamant on changing him to what she wanted in a man. He always compared her to his first love and got pissed that she was trying to change him. "I'm tired of this sh1t", he shouted!.."Why don't u just love me for me."

As time went by, he started getting tired of his lifestyle. Wanted something more out of life. But he was already stuck in his old ways and he couldn't stand any other serious relationship. He then met this girl, damn! She was fine! She had a smile like his first girlfriend. After some time, they started going out, the girlfriend just as other girls complained about his lifestyle. He knew he wasn't going to lose this gem as he lost those two in the past. He was going to try to make this new found relationship work. He told himself, I'm going to change.

If he then changes, the third girl changed him, right?? Do u ppl now get the key importance of the man's willingness in the "change"?? Jeez!

sexkillz: [color=#000030]He wasn't ready to change because the right person with the right formula had not come along. . .

She steps in, and applies her formula and it works on him. . .

She changed him!
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ItsModella: Him, because he was willing to change himself. He put that effort to changing himself.

Let's try it this way. I have heard so many inspirational messages but I haven't acted on all of them either because I lack the inner strength to do so or I simply can't connect to them. But when I hear one that gets deep to my soul, I put in that effort to become a better person.

mbourie: Emmeree,centje,eze,crownprince,lalosky etc., u guys have spoken well-as an elderstatemen!I prefer guys saying things in a pragmatic and just form than offering the ladies on nairaland greekgift-disgusing as good guys; I won't be surprise if all these treacherous nairalanders forming good guys bully their gf n also all dis ladies forming i won't tolerate nonsense absorb blows from their "kickboxer" BF. We have different set of animalistic personalities 4rm both men n women; just pray u dont become a fallguy to any of them or better still use ur "akonuche" yl chosing ur partner. I am against d ideology of battering the lady you promised heaven n earth; but ladies please if u mistakely stumble upon a "kickboxer" argue constructively because u might end up recieving Proverbs 18:6-7;just like the guy that bit me at my back and shoulder when I rebuked him weeing @ the entrance of the toilet-back then in school.

P.S: ladies please don't mind all this guys on nairaland forming good guys in order to impress you(the bible said it all:"the heart of men is full of evil)

sexkillz: [color=#000030]If a man rejects change from 2 previous ladies and then the 3rd one does it right, there must have been something different she did that made him change. That change was absent in her absence. She deserves credit for being responsible for causing that change. . . She changed him!
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ItsModella: Through her, you developed the willpower to change, you changed yourself. She was the person who inspired you to change, she didn't change you, rather she helped you. Those are two different things.

Shollypopz: The problem is in the condition/clause - willingness on the part of the man to change.

If the man is not willing to change her influence will be futile. I don't know why ppl can't get this.

ItsModella: is it abiL* you're calling a man? hehehehehehe

abike12: for a naija man to say this...there is hope!

sexkillz: [color=#000030]Where was the "change" in him before she came into the picture!
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ItsModella: Did that truthisbitter guy really go through all the 13 pages of the thread to count the number of people who had commented? dude, get a job jare.

sexkillz: [color=#000030]If she influenced the change and he changed, what has she done?

Smh
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Shollypopz: GBAM!!

abiL, u cannot be making sense like this. I would like u ooo, and I don't like liking people

Shollypopz: I see where u guys are coming from. What abiL is trying to say is do not get into a relationship with someone that u know isn't good for you with the mentality that u are going to change him.

If a man isn't willing to change, he won't! Your influence, meekness, nagging is only going to fall on deaf ears. Change has to come from the person that will make the change. The woman can serve as the encourager, the adviser, the hope and the source of strength the man needs to change but ultimately he-the man, is the one that can make the change.

In essence, she might be the reason for a man to change but not the one who changed him

ItsModella: You cannot change a person however hard you try unless he/she is willing to change himself first. The person has to make that admittance on his own. But you can provide support and inspiration for the person as he goes through that change phase.

Nobody is perfect anyway. Why be in a relationship in the first place if you're set out to change the person? The only way to be happy in a relationship is to realize that your partner has his flaws and will do things that you don't necessarily agree with, so do you. If you can't handle it, then you're not meant to be in the relationship. You have to learn to accept his flaws as part of his personality and change yourself to accept that fact. Once you learn to do that, it only gets better.

sexkillz: [color=#000030]It's an unarguable fact!
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