₦airaland Forum

sunnshyn: God bless you poster! May God answer your prayers with speed in Jesus name, amen! And i prayer you remain this way even in wealth. Amen!!!

Amen.

[quote author=Gamblin Queen ]I love the fact that you and your fiancee both keep GOD in your relationship.
Without HIM it would all fall apart.
I believe in my heart that GOD has led you to a good wife and sent her a good husband.
Just keep GOD first and continue to pray together and there is nothing you and your wife cannot overcome.
Marriage is a partnership and I'd say you have the best partners in existance.
GOD
Your wife
You

Looking forward to seeing the wedding pictures.

Remember, "What GOD has joined, let no man put asunder."[/quote]Thanx a bunch and I assure you that so will see our pix here when it eventually happen

[quote author=MRbrownJAY]no you are not! you are coming here to get suggestions on what to write in this plan, in order to convince this lady.

I need to plan and know what it will cost me, like wedding gown, Ring, food, number of guest etc. The future plans I have mapped out already so I know what am projecting. Thank you for your advice thou

2goodbobo: Op, am sure you got enuf response cos I also saw your post in family section with your usual response of "appreciated" lol. Guy marriage no be beans o

I had to go to family section too cos I feel married people are much there. You don't really know what am going tru so is not fair to mock me. But thank you still

Jenams: Some silly members keep advisin him to marry wen he nor even get house! U go see oba after 6months of marriage if u nor get stable source of income. U tink say to feed two mouth na beans?

By God's grace I will be getting a house next week. I also know I will need a stable income before I get married to her, which am equally working on too. Tnx for dropping by. Appreciate.

MRbrownJAY: @OP
so let me get this straight: you have been telling a girl that you want to marry her, and since you are broke she therefore asks you to come up with your marriage plans.....so you decided to come here on NL to ask us what are the important points to consider?! didnt you think about that while you were asking to marry this lady? the question you should first answer is: what was going through your damn mind when you were asking a lady to get married with you? the fact that you are considering marrying her yet dont seem to know a great deal about the foundation of marriage, is also alarming.

how can you even think of being serious when you cant even write a simple PLAN (aka how you guys will live etc)? you are a fraud and if she was my sister i would told her to avoid you or any people like you (sweet talking but without a clue about what they are claiming)!

I have written my plans and I am working on achieving them. I just came here to get suggestions and also more clues on how to do things. Please note that I did not just wake up one day to ask her to marry me. I thought of it. Am getting a house soonest and also try to establish a small bizness to keep us going and also I am believing God for a good Job soonest. All the same thank you for your input. Appreciated

Confusion: guy money is the last thing you need,
the problem is that we all want an elaborate wedding
if you have where to put your head and she is willing to stay with you
just call your familys and pastor for prayers and blessing
please no children until there is a job- finish
stop tryn to do as everybody

didnt you leave with ur siblings without money and you guys survived, see ur wife the same way
importanly no extra burden until u can manage it

Yeah we don't want an elaborate wedding. We have talked about that. However, am working to rent a house soonest. I appreciate your advice. It will go a long way. Tnx

Jenams: Guy, dnt allow d girl age pressure u into marriage! Cos I can see u hav pity for her. If na 5 yrs time u take get stable source of income, dat is wen u shud marry o. because d tori go wor wor well well if u try am now o.

Am not doing it out of pressure or pitty. Is what I want and I believe this won't get to "wor wor" situation. On my own I really want to get married. I appreciate your input still. Tnx bro

biolabee: i wish you all the best

Tnx a bunch. Appreciated

[quote author='mide eniafe]Well......If you aren't financially stable right now and you still want to marry her by June, maybe, you both should do a court wedding. You won't have to spend much that way. [/quote]Tnx a lot for the advice. I will weigh all my options at the same time am hoping for things to work out before then. Tnx

greatgod2012: @p, i love your positive approach towards your plan, may God continue to guide you, be with you and always give you reasons to be happy with your woman. Thanksgiving and testimonies will not cease from your household.

And me too!

Wow I feel so good and encouraged hearing this from you. And I say a big Amen to your prayers for me. God is with you too. I know I will have testimonies to give soon cos I know my God is awake. Tnx once again dear.

biolabee: ok sir then please start DOING ALL so we do not see threads like

'MY WIFE DOES NOT APPRECIATE MY SACRIFICES FOR HER" or
"HEARTLESSNESS OF MODERN DAY WIVES"

I pray it will not be my portion IJN. Thank you

StateOfMind: ^^^ you sound like a very good man. I just love the way you talk about your woman, lol.

I wish you all the best!

Thanx am blushing. God bless you

greatgod2012: First of all, get a source of income, its not easy to maintain marriage, without a regular source of income.
That been said, sit your wife to be down and ask her what type of wedding she want, ask her, if you are unable to fund for marriage this year, will she wait for you?
If you both are on d same level, as to go for a small wedding ceremony, then, after you've made a little money, u can settle down, with a very low wedding ceremony, probably traditinal and court wedding, but if she is d type that want a big wedding, then, you are on a long thing.
Also, ask her what she plans to do after marriage, does she want to be a full house wife or a working class wife, if a full house wife, then you will have to have a lot of money b4 going into such marriage, if a working class, what type of job, salary paying job, or self employed, all these questins will help you to know where you are and where you are going.........let there be a continuous and effective and meaningful communication with you always, it will enable d two of you to have one mind towards each other.
How about your family and her family, hope you dont have problem with her folks and she doesnt have with your folks, these are likely places where wall can be opened without any of you knowing.
Also, talk about an extended family living with you.....its a no, no, no for me and it should also be for you if both of you really want to get along peacefully.
Also about where to keep your head, you may not necessarily go for a 3/4 bedroom apartment for now, you can be managing a room and parlour, and when d money start trooping in, you can then change to your taste of house.
In conclusion, always be open with each other, be honest with her, let her always know your next step, so that she will know that you are not taking her for granted and that you are not wasting her time unnecessarily.
Above all, invite God into your relatinship, pray always, because, everything in this life, whether good or bad needs prayer.
May God help us all.

Tanx a lot for your input. we are also trying to raise fund for now to get 2bikes for commercial purposes so we can have steady income. My folks are okay with her and they like her a lot. Her siblings are okay with me too but the Mum is actually skeptical about me because am not an Igbo boy (am from middle belt). So both of us have been committing her in prayers for God to touch her and make her change her mind. I personally had to sow a seed on her Mum. But thank God that lately she is coming around and she even called her while we were together to ask her some questions about me. Her brothers and sister has told me not to worry that they are all behind me.

She does not want a big wedding cos she is a reasonable person. We just want something small. She does not want to be a house wife, she want a white collar Job and also do business. We also have talked about the issue of extended families and we have agreed on not allowing them to come and stay with us. (Thou they can come for visit).

As per the house, we both live in Abuja and house rent is steep in this part of the world. However, we both combined our resources and will get a one bedroom flat soon cos we even went to check the place some few days.

Right from the very start, I have been open to her and I don't intend to change. She is a rare gem and her type comes in trickles so is only normal for me to treat her right. And I believe I will treat her right cos if not for anything, but for standing by me. She is such a nice person and she has shown me what true love is all about. Their is no gain saying she is very very beautiful and suitors come to her almost everytime.

Finally, we have been very prayerful. Infact we are more closer to God now than before and we hope to keep it that way even after things becomes rosy. We have it at the back of our minds that God is really important in this our journey and we also believe he will see us through. Thank you once again for your input. God bless you.

slimyem: You said she knows and understands the situation quite well so I don't see the problem.
You sound like you are scared of losing her if you don't seal the deal soon but i really think you shouldn't worry so much if she's as amazing as you've described her.
I hope your job efforts are crowned very soon.

Amen dear. Tnx you so much and God bless you

juman: Firstly both of you should look for job even if is a small job with little pay.

After having the small job you can go ahead with the marriage. Just formalize the union and make it not elaborate marriage.

May God help you.

Thank you so much. We are seriously working on getting a Job. I appreciate your input

biolabee: ac millan or wetin be your name


If that girl go another one will come

DONT MARRY WITH OUT WORK O
DATING A GIRL WITHOUT JOB IS NOT THE SAME AS MARRIAGE O
I DON TALK MY OWN

Tnx for your input but I am not letting her go. I know God will see me through this. Am not someone that believe letting her go cos I will get another one later. She is what I want so I will do all I can to have her. Thank you all thesame bro

[quote author=sasi_malia]You don't need a lot to get married and stay married esp if you have a simple, decent spouse who has her head on her shoulders. Although you need to both act very wisely and maturely.

When hubby and I got married, I had started working only a few months before and hubby didn't have much of an income at all; but we always worked as a team, always clinging onto one another esp when it comes to decisions involving expenses and money. We are both simple people who know what their priorities are. I can stay over a year or longer without anything for myself.

We saved for about 4 months worth of my income and we decided that he should focus on improving his professional skills and not stress out too much. We had what I thought was a simple but very nice traditional wedding, because a lot of people pitched in (not financially though). His family close and extended all cooked from their respective houses and brought. I bought foodstuff in bulk and cooked a lot of things myself (didn't sleep for 2 days before the wedding), and had friends helping me (we live in the west so I dont have that much family around). We had the traditional part, then right after we had my aunt who is a pastor who took over and blessed us, we exchange wedding rings (the rings have since change color, they were some cheap fake stuff that I picked myself but who cares? lol), then we had the food and music of course. No need for any additional ceremony. The week we were supposed to get married, hubby was called for him to start a new job. His income has since progressively increased and he now fully supports our household.
We lived on little at first, very frugally, but we had our own very small apartment and were happy.
If I was member of a church, I would have done it in that church, blessing and share food with family and church members afterwards, even cheaper. We went to court the week before (we were 4 of us) with our same cheap rings, paid $25, took pictures with hubby's phone then went to a cheap restaurant.

What I am trying to say is that you do not need 2 years worth of rent money like someone said, you do need to have at least one reliable source of income, enough to pay rent, bills and food, and your girlfriend needs to sit and think of what she can do with her 2 hands and 10 fingers to make some money and supplement your income; she should not just wait on you. An african woman gets up early in the morning and looks for way to make small money with her hands if the pen and paper is not working.
I am currently not working as I have had a difficult pregnancy, but I have developed interest in making party cakes, to the point where I am skilled enough and have orders for weddings and big party cakes. I sell ankara bags, and african dry foodstuff that my mom sends me. I also have a blog. Hubby buys broken computer, fixes them up and sells them back in addition to his job. God will always be on your side but you must not sleep, both of you, if you want to get married and live a decent life together in the near future.
Sorry it was long. Good luck![/quote]I really appreciate your advice. It will really go a long way in help me. Tnx n God bless you

olumaxi: I'l advise u not to make empty promises or blueprints dat wont b realisable atleast 4 now..if she's truly urz,u wil mary ha..secondly,neva marry a lady wen u dont av a source of income unles u av a large heart..my opinion..cheers

Yeah I know I can't marry her without source of income. Hence the more reason why am hustling for job first and also see how I can come up with fund so I can establish a small business. Tnx for your advice

I really appreciate all the contributions am getting. Yes she is understanding but the issue is am scared of losing her if things don't work as plan and I also don't want her to back out on me when family pressure begin to set in. Am working on paying my house rent soon and then think of how to raise funds to start a small business.

I know what I want, I know the kind of woman I want and she is all I want. Am not been pessimistic here but I doubt if I can ever find such a girl. I am willing to do anything to marry her and I believe my lines will fall into place soon. More suggestions are welcome pls

omiobo:

Pls say something

Greetings to you all. Please I will really appreciate if you guys can help me with good suggestions on how to navigate my way through this situation.

I Am dating a 29year old girl. We have been dating for more than a year now, and I proposed to her last year December, and I intend to marry her middle of this year.

I don't intend to tire her down for long but the Major problem now is that we are both without a Job. I am an msc Holder and I have been hustling to secure a job and I believe very soon it will work out by the grace of God cos I have been making serious efforts.

Both of us were talking last night and she said I should come up with my plans or blue print on my marriage arrangement. Thou financially am not buoyant and that she knows and willing to stand by me till things get rosy. This girl in question to be sincere has been through thick and thin with me. She is a blessing to me. Aside her beauty, she is all I desire in a woman cos she understands me very well and I feel peaceful anytime am with her and by the grace of God, I believe she will make I good wife.

In order to show her am serious, I want to tell her my set goals and my marraige plans towards her. Please those that are already married and even the singles who think they can advice me, pls what are the goals or pointers I need to outline so I can work with them and also write them down to make use of it in order to achieve my desire goals. I want to have a talk with her so I can tell her my plans. Please note that when I proposed to her, I told her I will like to marry her by June. My folks are cool with her and likewise her folks are with me. Pls I will appreciate if you guys can help me through this. Someone direct me to Nairaland and he said I will get meaningful advice. Thank you

Greetings to you all. Please I will really appreciate if you guys can help me with good suggestions on how to navigate my way through this situation.

I Am dating a 29year old girl. We have been dating for more than a year now, and I proposed to her last year December, and I intend to marry her middle of this year.

I don't intend to tire her down for long but the Major problem now is that we are both without a Job. I am an msc Holder and I have been hustling to secure a job and I believe very soon it will work out by the grace of God cos I have been making serious efforts.

Both of us were talking last night and she said I should come up with my plans or blue print on my marriage arrangement. Thou financially am not buoyant and that she knows and willing to stand by me till things get rosy. This girl in question to be sincere has been through thick and thin with me. She is a blessing to me. Aside her beauty, she is all I desire in a woman cos she understands me very well and I feel peaceful anytime am with her and by the grace of God, I believe she will make I good wife.

In order to show her am serious, I want to tell her my set goals and my marraige plans towards her. Please those that are already married and even the singles who think they can advice me, pls what are the goals or pointers I need to outline so I can work with them and also write them down to make use of it in order to achieve my desire goals. I want to have a talk with her so I can tell her my plans. Please note that when I proposed to her, I told her I will like to marry her by June. My folks are cool with her and likewise her folks are with me. Pls I will appreciate if you guys can help me through this. Someone direct me to Nairaland and he said I will get meaningful advice. Thank you

Later now when dem call police say robbery dey go on, and dem no show, pple go dey complain. Shebi una see why some police men no dey gree risk their lives ba?