Greetings to you all. Please I will really appreciate if you guys can help me with good suggestions on how to navigate my way through this situation.

I Am dating a 29year old girl. We have been dating for more than a year now, and I proposed to her last year December, and I intend to marry her middle of this year.

I don't intend to tire her down for long but the Major problem now is that we are both without a Job. I am an msc Holder and I have been hustling to secure a job and I believe very soon it will work out by the grace of God cos I have been making serious efforts.

Both of us were talking last night and she said I should come up with my plans or blue print on my marriage arrangement. Thou financially am not buoyant and that she knows and willing to stand by me till things get rosy. This girl in question to be sincere has been through thick and thin with me. She is a blessing to me. Aside her beauty, she is all I desire in a woman cos she understands me very well and I feel peaceful anytime am with her and by the grace of God, I believe she will make I good wife.

In order to show her am serious, I want to tell her my set goals and my marraige plans towards her. Please those that are already married and even the singles who think they can advice me, pls what are the goals or pointers I need to outline so I can work with them and also write them down to make use of it in order to achieve my desire goals. I want to have a talk with her so I can tell her my plans. Please note that when I proposed to her, I told her I will like to marry her by June. My folks are cool with her and likewise her folks are with me. Pls I will appreciate if you guys can help me through this. Someone direct me to Nairaland and he said I will get meaningful advice. Thank you

omiobo:

Pls say something

No goals,no plans,no idea sef without money.

bros contct me lets chat

Things you need:
1.Money
2.Money
3-10,000.More money

I'l advise u not to make empty promises or blueprints dat wont b realisable atleast 4 now..if she's truly urz,u wil mary ha..secondly,neva marry a lady wen u dont av a source of income unles u av a large heart..my opinion..cheers

olumaxi: I'l advise u not to make empty promises or blueprints dat wont b realisable atleast 4 now..if she's truly urz,u wil mary ha..secondly,neva marry a lady wen u dont av a source of income unles u av a large heart..my opinion..cheers

Yeah I know I can't marry her without source of income. Hence the more reason why am hustling for job first and also see how I can come up with fund so I can establish a small business. Tnx for your advice

Well......If you aren't financially stable right now and you still want to marry her by June, maybe, you both should do a court wedding. You won't have to spend much that way.

'mide eniafe:
Well......If you aren't financially stable right now and you still want to marry her by June, maybe, you both should do a court wedding. You won't have to spend much that way.

Tnx a lot for the advice. I will weigh all my options at the same time am hoping for things to work out before then. Tnx

Guy, dnt allow d girl age pressure u into marriage! Cos I can see u hav pity for her. If na 5 yrs time u take get stable source of income, dat is wen u shud marry o. because d tori go wor wor well well if u try am now o.

Jenams: Guy, dnt allow d girl age pressure u into marriage! Cos I can see u hav pity for her. If na 5 yrs time u take get stable source of income, dat is wen u shud marry o. because d tori go wor wor well well if u try am now o.

Am not doing it out of pressure or pitty. Is what I want and I believe this won't get to "wor wor" situation. On my own I really want to get married. I appreciate your input still. Tnx bro

guy money is the last thing you need,
the problem is that we all want an elaborate wedding
if you have where to put your head and she is willing to stay with you
just call your familys and pastor for prayers and blessing
please no children until there is a job- finish
stop tryn to do as everybody

didnt you leave with ur siblings without money and you guys survived, see ur wife the same way
importanly no extra burden until u can manage it

Confusion: guy money is the last thing you need,
the problem is that we all want an elaborate wedding
if you have where to put your head and she is willing to stay with you
just call your familys and pastor for prayers and blessing
please no children until there is a job- finish
stop tryn to do as everybody

didnt you leave with ur siblings without money and you guys survived, see ur wife the same way
importanly no extra burden until u can manage it

Yeah we don't want an elaborate wedding. We have talked about that. However, am working to rent a house soonest. I appreciate your advice. It will go a long way. Tnx

@OP
so let me get this straight: you have been telling a girl that you want to marry her, and since you are broke she therefore asks you to come up with your marriage plans.....so you decided to come here on NL to ask us what are the important points to consider?! didnt you think about that while you were asking to marry this lady? the question you should first answer is: what was going through your damn mind when you were asking a lady to get married with you? the fact that you are considering marrying her yet dont seem to know a great deal about the foundation of marriage, is also alarming.

how can you even think of being serious when you cant even write a simple PLAN (aka how you guys will live etc)? you are a fraud and if she was my sister i would told her to avoid you or any people like you (sweet talking but without a clue about what they are claiming)!

Some silly members keep advisin him to marry wen he nor even get house! U go see oba after 6months of marriage if u nor get stable source of income. U tink say to feed two mouth na beans?

@MRBROWN
Well said..op as a man if u don't know what to do in a situation like this by rushing down to N/L..then l think there's a serious problem..Now listen suspend any thing call marriage until u stand on ur two feet...

MRbrownJAY: @OP
so let me get this straight: you have been telling a girl that you want to marry her, and since you are broke she therefore asks you to come up with your marriage plans.....so you decided to come here on NL to ask us what are the important points to consider?! didnt you think about that while you were asking to marry this lady? the question you should first answer is: what was going through your damn mind when you were asking a lady to get married with you? the fact that you are considering marrying her yet dont seem to know a great deal about the foundation of marriage, is also alarming.

how can you even think of being serious when you cant even write a simple PLAN (aka how you guys will live etc)? you are a fraud and if she was my sister i would told her to avoid you or any people like you (sweet talking but without a clue about what they are claiming)!

I have written my plans and I am working on achieving them. I just came here to get suggestions and also more clues on how to do things. Please note that I did not just wake up one day to ask her to marry me. I thought of it. Am getting a house soonest and also try to establish a small bizness to keep us going and also I am believing God for a good Job soonest. All the same thank you for your input. Appreciated

Jenams: Some silly members keep advisin him to marry wen he nor even get house! U go see oba after 6months of marriage if u nor get stable source of income. U tink say to feed two mouth na beans?

By God's grace I will be getting a house next week. I also know I will need a stable income before I get married to her, which am equally working on too. Tnx for dropping by. Appreciate.

acmillan: I have written my plans and I am working on achieving them. I just came here to get suggestions and also more clues on how to do things.

no you are not! you are coming here to get suggestions on what to write in this plan, in order to convince this lady.

Please note that I did not just wake up one day to ask her to marry me. I thought of it.

no you didnt....... because if you did then why didnt you simply write whatever you had thought of, on that plan of yours and hand it to her? why would you want us to give you pointers NOW about what should be in that plan, since you have already proposed (dont you think that is something you should have asked us BEFORE proposing?)

dont you see how confusing and weird your request is?!

lemme get this, you want to draw up a plan on wat to do and how to marry her? are you guys going into some kind of biz deal? i know marriage is a contract but... its not commercial in nature nah.

the problen wit plans is dat sometimes act of God or circumstances beyond ur control can totally fvck em up... wat you need, she needs, is a deep soul searching and a firm resolve dat no matter wat tomorrow brings, u ll either stick to her or not...

you dont really need much money to get married but u may ve to put off child bearing til ur pocket permits however, u need to ensure ur woman ll tag along even if the money delays in making an appearance.

gree-die:
lemme get this, you want to draw up a plan on wat to do and how to marry her? are you guys going into some kind of biz deal? i know marriage is a contract but... its not commercial in nature nah.

the problen wit plans is dat sometimes act of God or circumstances beyond ur control can totally fvck em up... wat you need, she needs, is a deep soul searching and a firm resolve dat no matter wat tomorrow brings, u ll either stick to her or not...

you dont really need much money to get married but u may ve to put off child bearing til ur pocket permits however, u need to ensure ur woman ll tag along even if the money delays in making an appearance.

I have heard all you said and I will put all you said into consideration. Appreciated

@gree die. I like your response that's why I heard to mimic you and make sure the op saw your advice very well. @op. Just stick to what Gree dei said. No child bearing for now until you are financially strong for it. I wish u all za best in your quest

Op, am sure you got enuf response cos I also saw your post in family section with your usual response of "appreciated" lol. Guy marriage no be beans o

2goodbobo: Op, am sure you got enuf response cos I also saw your post in family section with your usual response of "appreciated" lol. Guy marriage no be beans o

I had to go to family section too cos I feel married people are much there. You don't really know what am going tru so is not fair to mock me. But thank you still

[quote author=MRbrownJAY]

no you are not! you are coming here to get suggestions on what to write in this plan, in order to convince this lady.

I need to plan and know what it will cost me, like wedding gown, Ring, food, number of guest etc. The future plans I have mapped out already so I know what am projecting. Thank you for your advice thou

2goodbobo: @gree die. I like your response that's why I heard to mimic you and make sure the op saw your advice very well. @op. Just stick to what Gree dei said. No child bearing for now until you are financially strong for it. I wish u all za best in your quest

ok... tnx

Oga, one of igbo adages says, d bitter cola sounds great in d mouth but taste diffrntly. So wot im tryin 2 say is she might b woried 2 get married 2 u 2day in any way at least 2 ansa mrs U, even dat ur not finacial stable due 2 her age, but wot of 2morow afta marriage. She must bring out ha woman nature, by dat time u might even find it worster dan b4. Also rmba dat once u get married, uv added anoda famly, ur family, ur parants & hers. Wot if she or hers or evn ur own parants fall sick 2moro nd dey ask 4 ur help finacially den u coudnt contrbut, do u tink dat she would b hapy over u? So my dear, it might b addin anoda wahala 2 d one ur undagoin nw so use ur head. Finaly, rmba dat MARRIAGE is not a baby snake dat u can kill wit ur shoe.