₦airaland Forum

But i know of one superstition which has always come to pass anytime it is done...just VOTE TOMMOROW FOR SUBBIE D AS MISS NAIRALAND 2015 and watch as anytin corruption fades away in ur life coz of that one honest thing u jst did

sonOfLucifer:
That A jewish carpenter died for my sins and his father needs 10% of my income every month.

Btw, he is his Father who is himself and sent his spirit to impregnate a14year old lady bethroted to someone else.





But dem write am for Bible, so na true.

Really sounds absurd and also hilarious

I hate it when pple mistake Nigerian Rebels as Islamist..it is quite obvious that dys pple are jst disguising to be fightin for islam when even the laws of islam is clearly contradictin theirs.what i surely knw is dat one day evrytin hiden wil surely expose itself even if covered wit d thickest sheet

Too early for her now...she shuld av waited a little...Igbayi laaro

Omotayor123:
Walahi he no concern me!

shey me i com cal u for dys mata, abi i dey cwash

Wow!! the guy is now slim in complexion and dark in stature

Voting for SubbieD jst cant tire me..i vote SubbieD cc NLJega

she is really sufferin from excessive intake of calabar fufu accompanied with pami from otuoke

So hilarious...

This pple are upgrading a college of edu when Yaba college of Technology is there seeking for upgrade since the tenure of Obasanjo...oga o

i vote SubbieD, cc NLJega

hello nairalanders, a friend of mine presently at ND2 just about to complete his OND programme asked me being an Army Cadet officer Alpha Coy YCT about the salary and training allowance of the Nigerian Army/Nigerian Navy/Nigerian Airforce just to know which will possibly be the best for him because judging by how we chatted he want to enrol immediately he gets through with his OND programme and come back for HND as a part timer.all my efforts to persuade him to complete his HND was in vain.so to all my ogas out there i will need you to please help me shed light to it

chai back in those days when i was happily on a mango tree pluckin and dropin for my colleague not knwin bunch of overdried wehrehpeh is directly ontop of my head, suddenly i felt sometin itchy on my chest and at d same time on my head, neck, back and arm.wetin be dys ontop tree, wel i manage to decend down d tree not utterin a word to my pal. i ran straight to d river nearby not knwin i am actualy aidin the flame wit a petrol. anyways, thanks to palm oil

chai!!! On that fatefull day i found the very first girl in my life which really attracted me,,though we met through a little quarrel,,ever since we had the quarell,, i hav been seting my eyes on her but the courage wont just come to approach her,,one day i finally summoned up the courage to approach this lady letting her know i wana see her and of which she obliqued and we fix our meeting under a big mango tree in my hood @evening..evening came, buh due to the fear in me i couldnt show up there but instead hide in a nearby bush watching the poor girl waiting for the coward,,she later went without seeing me,,the next morning, we saw again and she blamed me for wasting her time, i pleaded again and i told her i am in a hurry to somwia so we fixed our meeting like the previous day and of which the samething also occured, she flared up the next day we saw and asked me jst to tell her what i really want from her,,chai!! See gbeg!! Omo i beg her ni o and we also later fix it like before but this time around i wasnt lucky @all because it was exactly when i was going to my hideout that we jammed eachother and @that time i have no excuse at all so as a man i jst started like this,,me; what is ur name,,, she;bolanle,,, me ; where do u live; quarry ,,,me; what class are u she; jss3,,me;what is the name of ur school; gateway high school me; okay nkan to sele ni wipe mokan like e ni mo de which wipe kajo wa together,,,she; owkay i will be tinkin bou it;;;omo as i discharge her like dys,,my own pass person weh escape for boko haram custody all ma pant and singlet don wet ehn, oga o

hmmm,,,eyi owu awi toluwalase,,,everything has been predestined by the divine,,,thanks to you all,,,let's jst wait and see what happens

i could remember this is what two friend of mine in Unilag and OOU told me when they see her,,i tot of them making jest of me buh they didnt,,they just encouraged me to teach her how to read and write well....hmmmm

flirting, teasing, making null promises and so many other factors can neva be banished from a bachelor's attitude when congitisized,,yes you grab..hitting the nail on the head, there is this semi-illiterate girl in my hood who is very okay for me in terms of physical qualities a girl needs to possess to walk with me, but her local Oyo accent which she utters every time just do piss me off anytime we are together.due to the bastard congi which descended on me one day, i approached this lady and of which she obliqued to my proposal, as usual on the long run i was able to fufil my personal desire even more than budgeted by me. But what i actually noticed in this girl is that she appears to have had a lot of training in other to sustain a relationship with me.our relationship is now going to 3yrs and she will be the very first girl in my life which i have dated that far. During this time i have dated morethan 10girls which i have successfully drop but for her, she won't just go and that is simply because she never feels too big to apologise anytime she is at fault and even if i am she will still trample on her own ego and pride to plead just to make peace reign though she will later retaliate with sense just to let me know she isn't stupid or foolish to have acted like that, ignoring all this, i have tried more than a dozen times to wipe her off buh all to no avail simply because of this her exceptional devotion to our affairs and truth be told since we started dating i have never heard any ill word pertaining to her from people buh still i count her to be local and low for me, she is ready to do anything for me and i am now begining to feel something inside me which i cant doubt if called love to the extent of me visiting her yesterday and we washing plates together, she is now begining to build her world around me...plz should i move on or just quit to avoid any superiority complex from me in future being too local? if yes how do i go about it

now i knw the reason some pple read buh still fail,,,i believe in the statements above, it was stated that the king actually employed a very strong yoruba metaphor which little or no nonyoruba can understand...no discrimination, no humiliation,,,just knw that we yorubas really give much respect to our Kings regardless of anything he does though i dont knw the relationship of u guys with ur Obas...the fact here is that we yorubas cant condone u guyz non respect behaviour attitude to our KING dats all....

O ye Muslim/Muslimah!!!
We all know that not offering our prayers
(salat) is HARAM! But little do we know the
punishments that we will face...
The Prophet peace be upon him narrated.
"Convey from me, even if its one verse
(Ayah)"
Maybe forwarding this message to others
can be beneficial for your Intercession on
the Day of Judgement.
The punishments of the one who doesn't
observe his/her salaat (prayers).
The Prophet peace be upon him narrated:
"Whoever shows heedlessness (negligence)
in praying salat, Allah punishes them with
fifteen kinds of punishments"
# Six punishments in this lifetime.
# Three punishments while dying.
# Three punishments in the grave.
# Three punishments on the day of
Judgment.
# Six punishments in this lifetime:
1 - Allah takes away blessings from his age,
(makes his life misfortunate)
2 - Allah wipes out the virtues of righteous
people from his face.
3 - Allah does not accept his Dua's.
4- He will be detested by all creatures on
Earth.
5 - Allah does not award him for his good
deeds.
6 - He will not be included in the prayer &
Dua's of the righteous (good people).
# Three punishments while dying.
1- He dies humiliated.
2-He dies hungry.
3- He dies thirsty, even if he drinks the
water of all the seas, he will still be thirsty.
# Three punishments in the grave.
1- Allah tightens his grave until his chest,
ribs come over each other.
2- Allah pours on him fire with embers (red
colour, hot coal made of immensely heated
firewood).
3- Allah sets on him a snake called "The
Brave" "The Bold" which rolls all around his
body & crushes him.
# Three punishments on the day of
Judgment.
1- He will be dragged face down over hot
burning coal to the hellfire.
2- Allah gives him an angry look that makes
the flesh of his face fall down
3- Allah judges him strictly and orders him
to be thrown in hell.
Those who do not offer their prayers of:
* FAJR:
The glow of their face is taken away.
* DHUHR:
The blessing of their income is taken away
(even if he has millions, he will be poor).
* ASR:
There is no strength in their body.
* MAGHRIB:
They are not benefitted by their children.
* ISHA:
The peace of their sleep is taken away.
Signed:
Prophet Muhammed (PBUH).

AND GOODLUCK JONATHAN BROKE THE
CHAIN!!!!
Sani Abacha & wife went to Aso Rock
together............ Only his wife came
back.
Olusegun Obasanjo & wife went Aso Rock
together.......
Only Obasanjo returned.
Umaru Musa Ya'adua & wife went to Aso.
Rock together...........Only his wife
returned.
BUT
Goodluck Ebele Jonathan & wife went to
Aso
Rock
together..............Now both of them are
coming back together with their Lives and
healthiness.
GEJ is indeed lucky to break that curse in
Aso
Rock ......
I call him A great Hero....
I call him a digital President......
I call him a Truthful President.......
I call him Moses of our Time...........
........
I call him the BEst president ..............
I call him talk and doin President......
.........
You promised us FREE and FAIR election
and
u carried it out.
May God bless u 4 letting Peace to reign.
Your Humility and tolerance is second to
none
in Nigeria.
You laid a legacy that the reasonable
Nigerians and generation to come will be
proud of.
Though some are still taking your
meekness to
weakness....
May God continue to lead your path My
First
Noble President...
I CHERISH WHAT YOU PROVED.....
U must Live Long!!!!!!!!!

plz help me,I was playing zuma on my HP Compaq nx6110 when my mum called me, so I had to abandon it to ans d call,buh it is quite surprising that before I come back I found my friend complaining bou the touchpad saying it has locked. I asked of wot he did to it and his response was dat he tapped the touchpad for about 15ce and it suddenlly locked,,,,,plz help

Kovic08: So no one is gonna help me with the registration after all.. ?(post jamb)

,,,the ball is in ur court

Kovic08: Please who can help me through the registration process of Yabatech ..i live at aguda surulere Lagos, please is there anybody living near my area..please asap ..

,,,,,call me,,,,08131247862,,uwc

For your yabatech POST UTME & PAST QUESTIONZ,,,call Adex 08131247862,,,alwayz in skul,,,ready to help

For your YABATECH POST UTME & PAST QUESTIONS,,call Adex,,,08131247862,,,alwayz in school

superior1: The problem is with that book they read, it makes them run mad

why cant you people jst try to be sensible if jst once,,,u xtian guys are fond of invadin all islamic online forum even on 2go also,,,anywayz maybe dat is how u pple are been tot in ur temple...grow up!

bingbagbo: the op

seriouslly,,i like u coz u popularly knwn to be a TIV,ur silence on dys issue could av rendered ur tribe funny and st***d

Feranmicharles: Loiz
The funniest is NONE and the silly one is the OP cos its dry

den i sense u being either an Isoko or a Gwari indigene,,,lol

Who is the funniest?
1. HAUSA man who removed his shoes to enter a taxi.....
2. IGBO man who went to the bank with a spanner to open a
bank account.
3.YORUBA man who went to bed with a ruler just to know how long he slept
4. A TIV man who watched the news and waved at the news reader.
5. AN EFIK nurse who woke up a sleeping patient simply because she forgot to give him sleeping pills....
6. AN IGALA man who lowered his TV volume
because he wanted to read a text message..
7. AN IKWERE man who polished his shoes to take a passport photo.
8. AN ISOKO man who climbed a mango tree to
check if the mango was ripe enough then came down
and started stoning it.....
9. A FULANI man who chose to drink Fanta because he thought sprite was unripe
10.A GWARI man who saw something that looked like shit, touched n tasted n said "Hmmm" na shit ooo!!! Thank God I no match am....
11.AN IDOMA man who put his radio inside the refrigerator because he wanted to listen to Cool FM...

Decibel:

wasere ori e wan be

Decibel: Ok

and did u 4get to laff?