₦airaland Forum

The popular actress put to bed in the early hours of today… congrats to her…See photos below;

There is a story told about a professional hunter who had a friend who always wanted to go with him on one of his hunts. So one day he said to his friend, "I have a permit to go into the Zambezi Valley and hunt for a buffalo. Would you like to come with me?" The friend was ecstatic at the opportunity. "When do we go?" he asked. "In about six months time, but before then I have to train you about hunting." For the next six months, the two men met every day, and they discussed and planned for the trip. The hunter's friend was surprised by how meticulous the hunter was about everything. He taught him about the bush, and how to survive in it. He taught him everything about buffaloes. “You must respect the buffalo,” he said, “because it's a very intelligent animal, and it is also extremely dangerous." He gave him lots of books to read, about hunting and buffaloes. During that time, the friend also trained every day at the shooting range. He understood by then the different types of guns used to hunt buffalo. He also had to do fitness training, which surprised him. "You can die out there if you are not fit," his friend explained. He was totally astounded by what he was learning about hunting. "Until now, I thought all you do is just go out and shoot, but now I know there’s more to this than meets the eye!" he exclaimed. When the day came, the two men set out into the wild bush of the Zambezi Valley, one of the most beautiful places on the earth. It is also inhospitably hot, and the terrain is tough. They'd been tracking one single animal for 5 days, and the hunter's friend was totally exhausted. He watched as his friend patiently made meticulous plans every single day. The hunter seamed to take forever, from the point of view of his friend. Sometimes they would walk, and sometimes they would sit for hours. The hunter was always looking around, scanning the bushes, not even (it appeared) always paying attention to the surrounding areas more than the buffalo. "Why can't he just shoot and we go home!?" He was getting tired of this, as they walked almost 50 miles a day. He was also hungry most of the time, as they only ate rations of dried meat and fruit, most of the time. The hunter looked at the animal through his gun sight over and over every day, but wouldn’t take a shot. Sometimes they appeared so close, but he still did not do anything. It was the fifth day: The animal was in sight again, but the hunter was going through his routine again. The friend sat in the bushes, when suddenly a rabbit appeared in front of him and he thought to himself, "At least if I shoot this rabbit, we can have meat tonight. I'm tired of dry rations." So he pulled out his gun and fired once. The rabbit disappeared, as he had missed anyway, but so did the buffalo, and with it, the entire herd. The hunter looked at him in total horror and disbelief! Then he shouted, "Run, or you die!" as he took off. They almost got stampeded by an entire herd that seemed to appear from nowhere. Also, suddenly there were lions everywhere that he had not seen before! But for the skills of the hunter, who led them both to safety, they could have died. The buffalo was gone. The hunt was over. They had to return home, empty-handed. There are at least 5 business lessons I want you to extract from this story. Your turn: List 5x simple (one line) responses, if you are interested. No essays. [By the way, I don't approve of hunting. So remember, this is a business story. Don't write me stories about animals!] End.

Mr op, r u crazy

are you afraid

THE UNAVOIDABLE END OF MAN.





With all the pride and ego of man and his over accumulated fortune, here it ends: an ordinary food for maggots. . If man can take a quite time to reflect on his unavoidable END, he will live the rest of his life in total love for one another. . All the chieftaincy tittles, former this and that, Prof, Dr, Barr, Engr, Eligwe na Eluala, Rt. Hon, Chief Judge, Commissioner, Senator this and that, Rev. Fr., Pastor, Bishop, Arc Bishop, General Overseer, General Supretendent, e.t.c. . Do u know who I am? Here you are! Food for common maggots!!!!

A man came back from work and met his wife making love with another man on their matrimonial bed. . Without shouting or beating any of them, he went to the sitting room, switched on the television and sat quietly listening to the news. . A few minutes later, the man got dressed, came to the sitting room and said to the husband 'I am sorry'. . Before he could say any more words,the husband said 'don't worry, stuff like this happens'.The man left, but the wife did not come out of the room. . Tired of watching television, the husband switched off the TV, went into the room, met the wife crying. . Without saying a word to her or asking about the incident, he went straight to bed and slept. . In the morning, the husband woke up and saw the lifeless body of the wife. . She committed suicide while he was sleeping. . The husband was arrested and sentenced to 20 years imprisonment for murder. . QUESTION: Who is unfair in this event? . 1. The Law. 2.The Wife. 3.The Husband. 4. The Lover.

Why all females want ass 2 bad? Like seriously ,Guys what can you say about this girl? Because she is not the first person to do this… comment! This is pure deceit in the name of endowment! Guy watch your back ooo, This one na one chance

JUST HAPPENED IN LAGOS.. . . .. It happened in Lagos 2days ago. I heard it yesterday at lunch. This world is becoming even more scary oh. A newly married man saw a prostitute clothed seductively standing along the road. She was just too sexy to be overlooked. He picked her up and abandoned the way home to a hotel. He lodged in with her. In less than five minutes he was on top of her. The prostitute was as flexible as a snake. When he was having sex with her, her moanings sounded like a 'hissing snake'. But he was carried away with her moves and didn't really give his concern to it. The married man had sex with her over and over again. Paid her more than what they bargained. He woke up at voodoo hour with the intention of having another round with her. He didn't find her on the bed. He heard hissing sounds in the bathroom. He scrambles out of bed and saunters to the bathroom. He opened the door. His heart beat drummed heavily as he saw big pythons talking to each other. He screamed loudly. The pythons leaped on him. He ran to the door and found it locked. The pythons crawled to him. He shouted for help and banged the door. The pythons got to him and jumps to strike him. "" "" Immediately he woke up! And almost screamed but couldn't when he discovered it was just a nightmare. The room was dark. The lights were switched off......He felt something cold touching his body. He searched with his hands and it felt like a cylinder with a hard skin impregnated with scales. He finally felt something trying to swallow his head. He touched it and discovered it was a big snake trying to swallow him up. The room wasn't dark. His head, down to his chest was inside the snake's mouth. The snake's poisonous saliva covered his face. He started struggling and struggling. But the snake pinned him down. He tried to scream for help but couldn't because if he opens his mouth, the snake's poisonous saliva will flow in and he will unavoidably swallow it forcefully. He kicked his leg, used his hands but the snake was too strong. He managed to bite the snake's tongue. The snake got wounded and involuntarily vomits him. He looked at the snake with blood on his mouth and discovered it was a big python. He grabbed an empty bottle and smashed the python. The python collapsed. He jerked up and jumped out of the bed. He started screaming for help. He dashed out of the hotel. He got home, looking all clean and cool. His wife was asleep already. He crawled into the bed beside his wife and slept off. He woke up almost at dawn and discovered his wife has turned into a snake.. The wife told him everything he did and how he stroke a python dead. Before he could apologise, his wife told him she was her mother disguised in a different body. He cheated on her with her mother. She got so angry. The man almost committed suicide. His wife told him to return to that hotel and carry her mother back to the house if not she'll kill him. He left immediately and rushed down to the hotel. He went straight to the hotel room and found his wife, mother-inlaw, his sister, his mother in the room. They were all hissing like snakes. Immediately he realised they were all in the same secret cult. They stood up and watch him without saying a word. "" "" Great panic gripped him by the throat. He couldn't talk..... And the only problem now is that ** . . I don't just know how I will end this FAKE STORY... **** Mtcheww www...Happened in LAGOS my foot ..... Fake story joor... I'm sorry if I scared you. Anyway this is one way of saying *be careful in life* Did i really pulled ur legs? Abeg no vex. But una too like story o! Lolz.

r u crazy

I needed advice not insults

you'all are fools except CRUZITA

gerrat

pls tell me d words to use

d poster above me is a dullard

Screenshot

Pls don't mind my English ooh



some time ago I posted something weather if i can go on a date with 4k. well at d end I end up spending 5k. up till now d gal has refuse to be my gf but each time we chat she likes talking about marriage and Sex thou am still a virgin at 25.

am confused right now bcox I don't kw d message she's trying to pass to me....

I love Cruzita

am gradually falling in love with CRUZITA

pls help

were d ladies dem dey

Oh yah!! he’s single and searching..A dwarf who was bullied as a child has told how lifting weights and posting sexy photos of himself online has boosted his confidence and earned him an army of female admirers. As a teenager, 4ft 2in Ismail Lanaani was cruelly taunted about his height. Bullies even dubbed him the ‘Midget of the Sahara’ and told him he would never get a girlfriend. But now, the fashion-conscious 27-year-old, from Beni- Mellal, Morocco, who spends four-and-a-half hours at the gym several times a week, says his confidence has soared as women love his ripped muscles, handlebar moustache and quirky style He said: ‘I go to the gym to keep healthy and because I want a sexy body. I post photos on Instagram to express myself and get women saying they like my muscles. ‘Posting photos of myself could help others with dwarfism feel good about themselves. People with dwarfism should be represented in society and seen more, like as models. ‘If the chance came up to be a model I would accept it. I love fashion, especially American styles.’ Ismail, who can speak Arabic, English and French, also said that, although people have suggested he’ll be single forever because of his stature, he is determined to find love. ‘I’m single at the moment and I’ve never had a girlfriend,’ he said. ‘We have a lot of dating apps here that I could go on, but I’m not on any. ‘I think a lot of people think I’m Casanova and I’m in a lot of sexual relationships but it’s not true. I’ve only had one sexual partner.’ He added: ‘I would like to get married though, and I talk to girls in Europe and America. Maybe one day I could move to America for a better future, to get married and have a family.

1. Higher Chances Of Virginity Retention Till Marriage This may be true but not so true. Though ugliness is not a determinant of a keeping one’s virginity or abstain from s*x, but to a minimum extent, when a lady is extraordinary ugly, she’s most like not to be the chase of kitty-cat obsessed guys flooding every street, hence, making her lack the opportunity of getting laid 2. Less Promiscuous When a lady is very ugly/not pretty, there’s high probability that she will have few number of toasters stalking her both online and offline, and this might make her stay focused in her academics and other things, unlike beautiful ladies on campuses who are being swayed and distracted by the chases from their fellow students or lecturers, hence, making them lose focus in their academic pursuit. 3. High Chances of Finding True Love This is to say that any guy that asks her for a relationship see beyond the mere look of a lady, and he’s likely to love her against all odds even though his friends castigate him saying “so na that sukurat wey no even fine u dey date now?, you fall our hand ooo” This reminds me of the way Makinde rebuked me when I asked a lady with a terrible tribal mark on her face on a date 4. She May Not Have Trust Issues In Her Relationship Since her boyfriend knows deep down in his mind that his girlfriend is not in any way pretty, he might be in Abuja while she’s in Zamfara, he need not worry about someone else bleeping his girlfriend. 5. Well Cultured/Behaved Yoruba adage says, “if a lady is not pretty, at least she should be well cultured/behaved so that people can see beyond her looks. From this adage, we can deduce that, to a large extent, ugly ladies are somewhat well cultured/behaved (though not all), unlike pretty ladies who are stereotyped to be pompous and proud 6. Little Or No Gold Digging Habit My research and findings have shown that not so pretty ladies barely gold-dig guys, because the chances is very slim. Many at times, money is not their criteria for choosing a guy 7. Financial Benefits A beautiful girl financial approach is more likely to be turned down unlike that of an ugly girl. The suffering is already hidden behind the beauty, but even if an ugly girl is financially stable and she tells you the opposite, you’d believe cos the look itself is already poor 8. Less Spending An ugly girl is less concerned about her looks/body, unlike like beautiful girls, who are always conscious about their faces, skin colour, etc. Some ugly girls even save more that beautiful girls. They’ve got plans of doing other things with money rather than spending it on their looks and perishable parameters. A beautiful girl can even go hungry just to keep the beauty going 9. Public Stare An ugly is free from public stare cos no one would wanna keep staring at an unpleasant front and back side. They move freely, unlike the beautiful ones who are always scared of going out cos of the stare/public harassment. Reminds me of a beautiful girl in high heels shoe. The public stare was unbearable for her, she mistook a step, and fell flat to the ground. What an embarrasement! At such, ugly girls gat no worries. They are free to do the ”Naomi Campbell” walk without people staring 10. Feel free to add the last one cause i cant type any

Osinbajo *dials number*: Hello, Mr. President. Are you back from Nuclear Summit. Buhari: Yes I hab just returned. Osinbajo: Good, good. Shey you will be in the country for at least a week. Buhari: Why the question? Osinbajo: I want to quickly run to Ghana or South Africa. Buhari: Why? Osinbajo: My wife, friends and even children have joined these internet gangstas in insulting me that I do not go for any foreign meetings. I want to go to their airport and snap pictures. Maybe snap with their ambassador so people can say I'm working. Buhari: Did you read za fafers? Osinbajo: no. Why? Buhari: IP you had read za fafers, you would know zat I'm leabing por China. I should be Zia por about a week. Asides that, Didn't you see that there has been small srouble in Enugu and za South South, I want you to go Zia and bisit za bictims. I know I fromised you a poreign trip soon. But you hab to remember zat we are all AYFEECEE members. And we zo not keep fromises Osinbajo: *cuts call* .... Kuku kill me

Edo gal

thanks guys for ur wonderful comments

minus t.fare and beside she a benin gal
nd am traveling to meet her

Hello Nairalanders
Can I use 4k to take my gal out on my first date?... advice needed am a novice

╬═╬ DON ' T GO DOWN THE LADDER! ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ are you listening to me? Don ' T GO! ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ Hello...? I said DON ' T GO. ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ Stop it! Don ' T GO DOWN. ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ Okay. If you wanna be like that then go. ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ You are still headstrong and you, and it's listening to me... ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ I can ' T talk to you anymore. ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ you listen to me! ... Don ' T GOO DOWN THERE! ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ Can you please just listen to me? ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ You're. If you go down there. ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ Okay I'm not going to tell you again... Don ' T GO. ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬.... Seriously I said stop!! ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ are you bored yet? ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ Last chance... Don ' T GO THERE.. ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ "" Now that you don go down after I warned u not too..... . . . you can now go back..... 3 hrs · Public

Na dull pple dey chop Biro cover lol if u kw what to write no need doing that

Front Page

In the land of boko haram and the time of fuel scarcity and rise in dollar,the destiny of a great nation rested on the shoulders of a confused president.




his name is______.

u fit buy am