₦airaland Forum

If dem wan provoke u ehh, dem get their style. To d extent u will feel like to
vanish from d earth. Lolzzzz. just greet her and she will tell u the story of ur
generation..
Mama Good Morning!!
Woman: morning nwam.. bia is this not okechukwu the son of ebube the man
who raped two girls before getting married to obianuju the daughter of the wine
tapper who fell from a palmtree while staring at the buttocks of juliliana the
village famous prostitute who aborted sixteen pregnancies before getting
married to okohia the dibia from the nebouring village.. is it not ur grandfada
dat died of madness.. nwam so you have grown so big. Hahahhahahahaha

cruzita:
na wa oooo,which day did I become your crush

D first day I saw ur moniker

Cruzita my NL crush
Long time ooh

I'll rather blame konji

Konji is a respecter of no man.

What abt ur own stupidity

Lol, dude and mama peace went to the same school.

Come take, I get am plenty

MTN is giving out free GLO recharge cards to all ETISALAT customers using AIRTEL lines.

Lol
U go pay ooh. U stole from me.

Year bro, well deserving

Your lips so soft and red,
the thought of kissing you is stuck in my head.
Your beauty so bright and warm,
shinning through the darkest storm.
Your eyes sparkle like stars in the night sky,
when I stare into them I feel like I am soaring high.
My love for you is pure and true,
I never stop thinking of you.
The sound of your voice saying "I love you" makes my heart pound
because I knew I'd truly found my one and only.
I promise to love you for every moment of forever
and when everything else crumbles, I will never leave u.
I am your armor to protect you from harm,
like you are to me, a lucky charm.
For you are my heart, my soul,
baby you are my whole world.

08101388099 Delta State

I want to create a personal blog and how do I make money with it.

Thanks for our help.

WhatsApp. 08101388099
08127478799

My dear husband,

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I’m writing this letter to say that I’m leaving you. I was a good wife all these 7 years and have never received anything in return. The previous two weeks were torturing, but the final straw was the call of your boss who said that you had resigned.

Last week you came home and saw neither my manicure, nor my new hairstyle. Nothing! You didn’t notice that I made your favorite dish for dinner and bought a new negligee. You spent 2 minutes eating, watched a game and went to bed. You no longer say that you love me; you never even touch me. I don’t know if you really stopped loving me or just pretend so, but I’m leaving.

P.S. If you want to find me just know that I went to West Virginia with your brother.

Good luck! Your ex-wife.


And here is her husband’s answer…

My dear ex-wife,

Nothing could have pleased me more than your letter. I agree, we were married for 7 years, but all these years you were far from the idea of a perfect wife. I watched games to stop hearing your endless grunt and whining. Too bad it didn’t work too well. I saw that you hair was cut, but the first thing that crossed my mind was: “You look like a man.” So I didn’t say anything. Mom taught me to keep quiet if I can’t say anything nice. As for my favorite meal, you’ve probably confused me with my brother. I don’t eat pork for 7 years. I saw your negligee, but it left me cool because the $ 49 price tag was hanging there. I only hoped it had nothing to do with the fact that my brother asked me to borrow him 50 bucks just a day before.

Even after all that, I love you and I believe that we could have survived it all. That is why I quit and bought us two tickets to Jamaica as soon as I found out that I won the lottery and got 10 million dollars. I thought we could start all over again. But when I got home, I found your letter. Well, probably everything happens for a reason. I hope that you will be happy in your new life. My lawyer said that because of your letter you will not be able to pull even a penny out of my money.

P.S. I don’t know if anyone ever told you, but my brother Carl was born Carla. I hope it doesn’t embarrass you.

Your husband!

Much is not known about the man – who taught ace music producer and songwriter Cobhams Asuquo – Mr John Yekini.
Mr John Yekini is an illustrious Music Consultant at the Federal Nigeria Society for the Blind FNSB, of which veteran music producer and songwriter Cobhams Asuquo a student.
“FNSB is the only blind boarding educational and vocational NGO in Nigeria, and, as its name portrays, attracts visually impaired people from all parts of the country.”
Mr John Yekini says it all in an interview with
Vanguardngr
He introduced himself thus:
“I attended Pacelli School for the Blind after I lost my sight at the age of three in the sixties due to measles. I am now in my sixties. I took interest in music at a very young age. I started learning the trumpet, then I went on to learn the accordion, and then the piano and other instruments. Also, I went to Scotland to study music. Presently, I am the Music Consultant of the Vocational Training Centre for the Blind at the Federal Nigeria Society for the Blind. I am married with four children.”
Mr John Yekini explained that it was never easy at the time as there was no state-of-the-art equipment as that has changed now. He said he was grateful to some Irish sisters from Dublin who established Pacelli School for the Blind.
He narrates how his choice to do music came about.
The Irish Sisters brought all sorts of instruments to the school. I loved the sound of saxophone and trumpet and then I decided I wanted to go into music. But then, I was chased away because they said I was too small. So I arranged with the then music teacher, Mr. Falana, that I would come privately so that he could teach me how to play the instruments. We started with the trumpet, then followed with the drums, accordion, keyboard, etc. And that is how my music career started. I went to Scotland to study music and perfected my skills there.
He further spoke about being a music teacher.
I returned to Nigeria and went back to Pacelli to teach for 21 years as music teacher. Then I moved on to the Ministry of Education, Isolo to teach for 14 years. Now I am the Music Consultant at the Vocational Training Centre of the Federal Nigeria Society for the Blind (FNSB), Oshodi.
Mr John Yekini was excited to mention one of his students who has made him proud Cobhams Asuquo.
Let me think of one you may know. I remember I had a student called CobhamsAsuquo. I am sure you have heard of him. I taught him how to play the keyboard and he has done me proud. There are many others who have forged successful careers in music. I can’t even remember all of them. There are too many to count! Many of them have their own bands and they are making money, so I am happy. Many play music in their churches too.
When asked his secret of looking good he said this:
I have a home. My wife is there and my children are there. Routinely, they make sure that I look good – because I am good! (he chuckles!)

Are u trying to tell me they married themselves?

Adam and Eve gave birth to Cain, Abel and Seth.

Cain killed Abel.

My question is; "how did Cain and Seth bear children knowing fully well that they are male species".

first to comment :Dfirst to comment

WOMEN!
When we say somebody na virgin, we mean say the person norva indulge in any form of sexual intercourse.
For woman, e get one membrane wey dey as gate to the vaginal.
This membrane nai dem dey call hymen.
Na this hyman dey break wey blood dey flow if man penetrate woman for the first time when she dey involve in sex.
Na good thing and na pride for woman to marry as a virgin.
E still dey give woman family pride say dem train her well.
Many men love to marry virgin becos dem believe say women wey be virgins norva spoil and norva too go deep into immorality.
But let us evaluate this matter.
Teddy dey plan marriage with Ejiro wey e meet for almost 6 months now.
Teddy know Ejiro ex but e nor ask to confirm wetin make dem break up.
Few days to their wedding nai Teddy tell Ejiro say e must test wetin e wan pay for.
E must know how the place be cos e nor dey say shoot bird mama fly.
Ejiro don start again say make Teddy just endure. Say e don already endure till now.
But Teddy nor gree. E say e wan do.
Where dem for dey argue the issue, nai Ejiro for tell Teddy say na this same issue nai make her break up with her ex.
Teddy cum tell her say e know her ex. And that her ex na player. Say e nor believe say e nor sleep with her for almost one year wey dem date.
So, why Ejiro dey lie for am say she be virgin?
Ejiro begin cry say make Teddy believe her.
She cum dey swear with her life.
That evening, Teddy cum tell her to go say e go find out.
Only for Teddy to go meet Ejiro ex begin ask am questions about Ejiro.
Talk cum lead to talk wey Ejiro ex for cum tell Teddy say actually, Ejiro na still virgin.
All through, she nor gree make e penetrate her. But na through she nai e himself take like anal sex. Na she intorduce am to doking through yansh.
She say she wan reserve her virginity for the man wey go marry her.
But she fit give anybody her anus.
So, na through anus nai she dey for dey make love since.
As Teddy hear this, e just lost affection for Ejiro.
E call Ejiro nai e ask her whether she don naked romance somebody once?
Ejiro say yes.
Whether she don suck person once and also whether dem don suck her once?
She say yes.
All this while, she don dey cry o cos she know say things are going wrong.
And she dey fear make Teddy nor go say e nor go marry again when dem get just 3 days to their marriage ceremony.
After so many questions, nai Teddy ask Ejiro whether she don make love through yansh befor?
Hardly nai she take say yes.
Finally, Teddy cum ask her, if you don do all these, so, are you still a virgin?
Ejiro just dey look am kpeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!
My pipo, if na you be Teddy, will you still marry Ejiro say na virgin?
And if na you be Ejiro, are you still a virgin?
Make I sidon dey drink my akamu with straw as I dey wait answer.
Fear God! Fear Woman!

.

First date with a gal is not suppose to be in your room except she's a LovePeddler

Cc: seun pls help move it to front page,let's educate some niggas in da house

1. Oversharing
Women feel sometimes men burden them with the labour of going through a lot in their life on first dates and it’s not supposed to be. So know it’s the first date and just talk little details about yourself.
2. Be intelligent


Women generally hate it when men on dates do not know basic things, so if possible, do some digging about your date and get to know her. One of the women we spoke to, said her date didn’t know what a content writer did, and he said something else. To be on the safe side, if you don’t know it, don’t assume.


3. Don’t think it’ll end in sex
Men need to understand that not all first dates end in sex and as thus, remove all the thoughts from your head. Every damn thing. It’ll make the date go fine and would lead to the probability of a second date.


4. Don’t overdrink
Few of the ladies who spoke to us mentioned that men had been drunk on dates before and we really can’t understand how that works really. But if you’re the culprit, first dates are most definitely not the time to show off your drinking prowess okay? Good.


5. Avoid being the comedian
A lot of men know women like funny men and as such come prepared to turn everything into laugh fest and this is totally wrong. Forget all the ideas in your head and resist the temptation to make crass and tasteless jokes, and more importantly, prevent your date from the struggle to laugh or blush at your jokes.

6. Avoid weird touches
A lot of women love their space and so they hate it when men touch them discreetly on the first date. According to one of the ladies who spoke to us for the purpose of this article, she says “You don’t know me too well and that’s clearly an invasion of space”. So don’t do it.


7. Don’t stare for too long
People in the past have gotten dumped at the first date because they were over staring, either at the ladies boobs or ass or even another lady. So, don’t over stare. Nothing at all


8. No phones
No phones at dates, because it’s rude. What this means is forget the world, forget your twitter fam, forget to Instagram that food really. It’s the first date and it won’t kill you if you don’t post this one food okay? Very good.


9. No friends
Some people still don’t understand how offensive it is to bring a friend on a date and it shouldn’t be. Men, don’t try it. Even if you meet a friend at the date, don’t invite him over. It’s wrong and won’t allow for communication between both parties, which the date is supposed to do.


10. Don’t blow up when she pays
Some women are very independent and as such may want to pay the bills, or even go dutch and men need to understand that it’s a thing. Don’t cause a scene, agree on something and leave.


What other things do you think men should stop doing on first dates?

Osama bin Laden

As Navy Seals closed in on the terrorist, who was in his pajamas at the time, he yelled, “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, let me put on some pants.”

Justin Bieber


While the demon lesbian Justin Bieber hasn’t shuffled off the earth yet, I fully expect his last words to be, “I’m coming home, Satan.”

Willia Shakespeare

The greatest wordsmith the English language has ever known struggled to find his parting words, as his life left his body, Shakespeare muttered, “This is bullsh*t.”

Steve Jobs
“Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. Windows is so bad.”

The king of pop had a heart attack stemming from acute Propofol and Benzodiazepine intoxication. The “doctor” who was administering the drugs stated that the last thing Michael Jackson said before he passed out was, “Nothing has ever made me happier than seeing a child…” We will never know how he would have finished that sentence.