₦airaland Forum

There's nothing irrelevant here, despite the fact that the article was not written in Nigerian context. Those who read thoughtfully and between the lines would see some points to grab here.

To serve as an example, here's my personal list:
1. Highly insecure people who bring others down just to "feel better" about themselves.
2. People who explicitly take actions based on jealousy.


Sociopaths.

These are people who have little or no sense of empathy; they don’t care if they hurt others, as long as their actions promote their own agenda. These are people who, when they see someone else in distress, really deep down don’t care.

I had known such people for most of my life, but hadn’t truly recognized them until my sister (Ph.D. in psychology) gave me a book called The Sociopath Next Door (by Martha Stout). I highly recommend this book. Most people can name the famous sociopaths: Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, and Putin. But it is very helpful to recognize the less well-known ones, the ones you come across daily in your personal life.

Many sociopaths have learned to be sweet and to appear to be kind, but that is a mask for their inner standards. Doing so helps them exploit others. Several percent of the people you meet are thought to be sociopaths. The percentage may be higher among “successful” people, since there are some survival advantages to the syndrome. There are also disadvantages. One sociopath I know quite well won a Nobel Prize in physics (in part due to taking credit away from others), but despite that, nobody who has ever worked with him in the past will work with him again. Largely as a result, his post-Nobel career has completely stalled.

These days, when I encounter a sociopath, I treat him (or her) with politeness, but I am careful to have no substantive relationship. I do not allow myself to depend on him in any way whatsoever, even if I think it is in his best interests to help me. Life is full of opportunities, and when you run across a sociopath, your best approach is to find a new path, one that avoids all interactions with that person.

It is surprising that sociopaths exist? It may be a physical/medical/inherited condition, not easily cured through psychological counseling. I think the real miracle in life and civilization is that the vast majority of people do care about others. I don’t have the sense that this large scale empathy is shared by most of the members of the animal kingdom (outside of empathy for their immediate families and their providers; animal lovers will probably furiously disagree, but remember: I am allowing for pet empathy towards their providers.)

Even in humans, empathy is sometimes limited to the tribe. Outsiders are not considered to be human. The most remarkable teaching of Plato and Jesus is that one should not only love one’s neighbors, but also one’s enemies. To the extent that we don’t do so, we are all somewhat sociopathic, if only a little. That should help us understand the true sociopaths. In effect, they consider all their colleagues and acquaintances (and often even their own family members) to be their enemies. How would you act if you were surrounded by enemies? Would you simply turn the other cheek?

Based on what I have read about sociopaths, and based on what I have observed (in debate, in interviews, in talking with people who have suffered by his hand), I believe that Donald Trump is a sociopath.

Source: https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-types-of-people-that-you-should-always-avoid

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There is a joke in China.

A foreigner went to China and hoped to taste various Chinese food. He thought that each province has its special dishes, for example, Cantonese cuisine, Sichuan cuisine, Hunan cuisine and so on. After he tasted all of above, he thought that there are different kinds of food in different cities. Then, he took Peking dish, Shanghai dish, etc. When he thought he had tasted all sorts of Chinese food, he found amazingly that each county has its specialties. For example, Shaxian County snacks……

Seriously, I think Chinese food has a quite big range. Because of our 56 nationalities, we might not similar in what kind of food we gonna to enjoy. Because of the latitude of our country varying from 3°51′N to 53°33′N, we always leave under different weather and the environment require us to eat different kinds of food.

So it is not easy to make a comment on Chinese food.

But finally, I have to say that Guangzhou really is a place created for foodies. As long as you are willing to spend time to find those deliciousness, you will have a satisfying trip~

Source: https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-feel-about-Chinese-food


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I even doubt the viability of this program... Whether they'll be able to pay people in the long run, and whether the next administration would not cancel it.


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Are some mothers jealous of their daughters?

Why have children if they’re just going to be jealous of them?

Unfortunately such mothers do exist.

My friend Kala was the youngest and the only daughter in their home. She arrived quite late in the family, an unplanned surprise.

Kala shared a very special bond with her father, like a lot of girls do. They go out together on hot evenings to have ice creams and for movies on the weekend. He helped her with her Maths and Physics and knew all her friends. Personally, I had huge admiration for the man.

She was her father’s favorite and that caused a lot of jealousy.

Her mother would insist that she sits in the middle seat whenever they go for movies and would want to give inputs during her lessons. It got worse when she grew up as her mother would dictate what she should wear and how she should behave with her father. Innocent hugs and pecks on cheeks were not as innocent anymore.

Her mother would sulk and act passive aggressive in her presence and refused to attend any events that involved her. That means her father would come for her recitations, sports day, report card day and others, while her mother sulk at home.

It made her feel apprehensive whenever she was around her parents. It felt like walking on thin ice. She was careful of what she’d spoke to her father in front of her and would limit her physical gestures.

Even long after her father’s demise, her mother accuses her for stealing her father away from her in a very subtle manner. She’d say things like how her father missed their anniversary celebration because it was her concert night, how her valentines gifts had become smaller because he has to buy something for both of them now.

All conversations about her late father with her mother seemed to go back to one place and time : how intimate they had been before her. The places they had honeymooned and all the romantic things he did for her before Kala was born.

She often tell me these stories of how she believes her mother is jealous of their father daughter relationship. At the beginning it sounds quite petty and I’d often recommend things like “invite your mother to come/join, she feels lonely”, but later I realized it’s not so petty anymore. It’s absurd and a sad thing, that a 45 years old mother says things like “No woman should touch my husband” to her own daughter.

Due to this, Kala and her mother was never on good terms. They tolerated each other for sake of their father and when he died, they just headed different path.

It was good for Kala though that they are no longer on talking terms, nobody needs that kind of negativity in their life.

Source: https://www.quora.com/Are-some-mothers-jealous-of-their-daughters

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Whether it be your job, a sport, a hobby, your marriage...

JOB #1: The week my boss publicly propositioned me for sex and then vomited on my shoes.

Oh wait, no, that was my first week. So: a year after that.

JOB #2: The month our company president:

installed an alarm on the back door so she could monitor our movements;
cut all our benefits but took a $50K raise;
threatened us with dismissal if we criticized the company anywhere at any time;
fired my lovely, brilliant, pregnant boss;
made me supervise her idiot stepdaughter;
told me a pound of ground coffee weighs more than a pound of beans
Oh, nope, wrong again: a year after that.

JOB #3: The day my doctor told me that my insomnia, olfactory hallucinations, corneal abrasions and - somehow - a bout of poison ivy were related to burnout and overwork from my job, and that if I valued my health, I should in her medical opinion quit right away.

Except, you guessed it: not till a year after that.

In short, I am not a quitter. People -- and kitten posters -- often laud this quality, but when I think of all the time and anguish I could have saved myself, professionally as well as personally, if I'd just quit sooner, I wonder if it's done me more harm than good.

Leaving is scary. The unknown is terrifying. I have friends who hated every one of those jobs as much as I did, and they're still there. But I decided -- and it took me a long time to get here -- that I'd rather be actively fucking up but learning, over stagnating or suffering. All this is true of personal relationships, too.

I am trying to be more forgiving of myself when I realize it's time to close the book on something. Just because a thing can be done, doesn't mean it should. Sacrifice is not sainthood.

Quitting is like thirst: by the time I realize the need is there, it's already long overdue.

Source: https://www.quora.com/When-did-you-know-it-was-time-to-quit

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This was my lizard, Zeus:


I got him for my 14th birthday as a gift from my parents. I had always wanted a turtle, but they said the guy at the pet shop recommended monitors for a more interactive pet.

I loved the guy.

We spent hours together. He had a leash, which I would use to take him on walks. He loved clinging to my shirt as we wandered around the house. I bathed him.

He was my baby.

As I moved onto high school, we moved houses.

Suddenly my baby Zeus was no longer in my bedroom, but in my basement; that was the only place large enough for his tank and all of his supplies.

Life started happening to me and I would go days without visiting the little guy.

It wasn’t that I didn’t care; it was that I had a lot of other concerns and Zeus was out of sight. I made sure he was fed and had water, but I stopped interacting with him more than that.

Then the guilt of ignoring him would set in, so I’d ignore him more to keep myself from having to face my initial ignorance.

It was a vicious cycle.

A few months before I was left for college, my mom came to my room and talked to me.

She said she’d found a guy online that was looking to buy a lizard, and she’d contacted him about Zeus.

I burst into tears.

He was my lizard.

I couldn’t sell him.

My mom explained to me why she felt it was best.

He was being neglected in the basement, and he didn’t have a big enough house nor did we have the space to expand for him, and he was expensive, and no one could take care of him once I left, and if someone else wanted Zeus more than us, why shouldn’t they have him?

I told her I didn’t want to talk about it and asked her to leave.

I sat on my bed and cried. I couldn’t fathom giving up on my pet.

I felt like I’d failed. I couldn’t take care of him and now someone else would have to.

I was angry and upset and hurt and most importantly, I felt guilty. I felt guilty that I had taken on a pet that I couldn’t care for, and now we’d have to sell him and I would have to let my baby go.

The man came over to meet Zeus and see if he wanted to buy him.

I bit my lip and tried not to cry while I showed him Zeus’ cage and gently lifted my lizard from it. I handed my wriggling towel-wrapped child to the man, then sat in silence and watched.

“Holy cow! What a big guy. Hi Zeus. Damn, he’s cool. I’ve had lizards for about six years now but I’ve never owned a monitor. They’re beautiful but they require a lot of work. I already have a space made for him in my lizard room— he’s going to be the king there.”

I watched the gentle movements the man made as he inspected my lizard. He carefully pet his head, feeling his scales and evaluating his health.

He was meticulous and observed Zeus with a knowing eye.

“I would love to take him. He’s incredible.”

“He’s yours. I think he’ll be happy with you.”

The man and his friend loaded Zeus’ enclosure and all of his supplies to their car.

The man didn’t stop talking the entire way.

“Yeah, I have frozen rats at home I’ll feed him. Sometimes I buy live crickets to feed them— lizards love that. I have bison meat that I feed them, too, as a treat. It’s great for them. I have a new humidifier that will make sure his enclosure stays perfect, and I got a new set of heaters for his room. I love lizards. I’ve had them for years and it’s so great. They’re incredibly interesting. I work with a few buddies of mine to acquire and care for lots of lizards— it’s like a club. We all share advice and stuff about lizards to make sure they’re as healthy as can be.”

“Zeus is going to love you, sir.”

This man exuded an enthusiasm for my little lizard. He knew how to raise him to be safe and healthy, and had the burning desire to do so. He was passionate about lizards.

He was the right man to raise my lizard, as weird as that sounds.

I will never feel guilty about not wanting to have kids, because I acknowledge that I have no burning desire to raise a child (or a lizard).

I don’t want to give up my time for them.

I don’t want to spend hours caring for them, and training them, and working with them.

It’s nothing against kids and everything against putting my time into things that don’t interest me.

I will raise beautiful cats which sleep and snuggle with me at night and sleep and hide alone during the day.

I will perfect a discipline and give back to my world and help others however I can.

I will not raise a child. I cannot give them the passion and care that they deserve. I would only do more harm to them than good, and there is no way I can justify that.

I will leave the child-rearing to those who are passionate and enthusiastic about the process, and I feel no guilt in doing so.


Source: https://www.quora.com/Do-you-feel-guilty-about-not-wanting-to-have-children


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I love Igbo/Ibo people. They’ve unusual sense of humor and they’re wonderful people. When it comes to business, religion, etc., Igbo/Ibo people are always serious.

This ethnic group is a great blessing to Nigeria.

However… Something confuses me. I often hear IGBO and IBO, and wonder what their exact meanings are.

Does “Igbo” mean their language or the people?

Does “Ibo” mean their language or the people?

Which one stands for language? Which one stands for people?

Or do “Igbo” and “Ibo” mean the same?

Sadly, most young generations of the Eastern tribe don’t understand their dialects deeply anymore. But there are still experts of the culture and language of the Ibo/Igbo on this earth.

Could they please, help shed light on this issue and clear the ambiguity?

Many thanks.

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I’m not a big believer in the future. I mean, it will exist—we know that. But that’s about it.

CXO Advisory Group has analyzed the predictions of hundreds of pundits. Are the talking heads on TV right or wrong?

You know, the ones who say Ebola will end the world, or the ones who said Enron was just having accounting problems.

It turns out the pundits’ predictions are right only 47% of the time. I think they are being nice to the pundits. I would say pundits are right about 12% of the time.

But I pulled that number out of a hat, and they did a statistical study, so who knows?

I don’t like making predictions. They get in the way of my digestion. All of that future thinking clogs up the pipes.

But there’s a great way to evaluate whether a prediction is true or not. It involves a simple phrase we all know: “This time things will be different.”

We know that phrase is always wrong. We know that things stay the same.

I’ll give a great example: my 15-year-old doesn’t have email. She doesn’t really use a computer except for homework. But she does use her phone. She texts everyone.

Email has been popular for almost 20 years. But the phone has been popular for over 100 years.

Not that new things are bad. We’re not using the phone from the year 1900. We’re using a phone that is a more powerful computer than the top supercomputers from 20 years ago, and it fits into our pocket.

Two things happen:

what was popular in the past will be popular for at least as long in the future (expect at least another 100 years of teenage girls texting relationship advice to their friends); and
what was popular in the past will improve.
I have two experiences as a pundit for the future. In 2007 I said on CNBC that Facebook would one day be worth $100 billion. At the time it was worth maybe $1 billion. Everyone on the show laughed. I then invested in every Facebook services provider I could find.

And in my book, Choose Yourself!, written mostly in 2012 but out in 2013, I said that we can look forward to having a “smart toilet” that will diagnose all of our illnesses in our fecal matter and urine… a mini-lab in our bathrooms.

Anyway, recently, MIT said it’s working on just such a toilet.

Cost: $2,000, but it was going to bring the cost down to $100. Count me in.

But there are 10 trends from the past 100 years that I think are important to respect and will be important trends for the next 100 years. Knowing this can help us make money off of them.

Read more here: http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2016/03/three-trends-for-the-next-50-years/

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Who are some famous people who annoy you for some or no reason?

Taylor Swift

Up until that whole “Kim Kardashian recorded Taylor Swift agreeing to Kanye West’s song but then lied about it” incident, Taylor Swift had not really done anything.

Whether she is just acting like she is so innocent or if she really is, it annoys me.

I also think her songs are overplayed, very repetitive, and boring.

I don't spend my days thinking about how much she annoys me, but when I see her in the news or anything, I have the very strong urge to roll my eyes.

Her fandom is like a pack of vicious wolves, so let's hope nothing happens to me after I post this >.<

Edit: When I said that “she hasn't really done anything”, I was referring back to the question. She hasn't done anything to make me hate her. Many people have misunderstood what I said, and because of that misunderstanding, I have read many angry rants.

Source: https://www.quora.com/Who-are-some-famous-people-who-annoy-you-for-some-or-no-reason

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Another day, another food exposé that manages to change our perspective of a seemingly harmless ingredient. Today, the spotlight has been turned on none other than vegetable oil. A staple in nearly every American kitchen, this seed-based cooking oil has since been exposed as a cancer-causing agent when heated in a frying pan or wok, according to a study published in Science Direct.

Containing high amounts of polyunsaturated and omega-6 fats, these inexpensive oils—made from seeds including canola, sunflower, corn, safflower, grape, rice bran, and soy—actually “release neurotoxic, DNA mutating chemicals which are known to cause cancer” when combined with oxygen, according to My Body+Soul.

“Recent improvements in measurement technology have now thrown a spotlight on the quantity of these chemicals released by normal use [of vegetable oils,” writes My Body+Soul’s David Gillespie, author of The Eat Real Food Cookbook. “When seed oils containing these fats are heated at a normal cooking temperature (of 180 degrees celsius), they create highly toxic chemicals known to be involved in cancer causation.” This explains the sheer amount of lung cancer cases among women in Asian countries. While few of these women smoke, many of them spend their days cooking with canola oil, both at home and during work hours.

What are your safe vegetable oil alternatives? Share your picks in the comments below.

Source: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2j3E7c/:j-x-e-eG:blD$2tx$/www.mydomaine.com/vegetable-oil-worse-than-sugar


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What is the creepiest phone call or voice message you've ever received?

I got a message saying “I wouldn't drive tomorrow morning...lest you be blown to bits.” It had been sent the previous day, but I was reading it in the morning. Just as I got that message, I heard my wife starting the car outside. It did not blow up.

It was an email threat, the third email I had received from that person. The Berkeley Police politely looked at it, and told me there was no way to trace it. So I asked my class if there were any hackers who might do better. (At that time I was teaching the class for physics majors and engineers.) After class, about six students came up to help. Indeed, they were able to trace the email, and I got the name of a registered student. I gave it to the police; they went to his apartment, he confessed, and he was arrested.

I asked to meet with him, and against the strong advice of the police I did. I spoke to him, and learned that he did it because he thought I might be “vulnerable” (actually, because of my novel about Jesus!). He seemed to feel lost in the world, and doing things like that made him feel that he had some power over others.

I asked him whom else he had threatened (remarkably, the police had not done that!), and he named another student, and then added, “and President Clinton.” So I told the police, and they contacted the other student, and the US Secret Service. The Secret Service came to investigate, and the perpetrator will be watched by them for the rest of his life. I did not press charges, and he did not go to prison.

—-note added (after this answer drew much interest on Quora)—

The incident happened in December 1996. I just dug out the old messages. It turns out that the worst threat was made by email. His “explanation” for the threat was my novel The Sins of Jesus (now available on Amazon Kindle). He signed the emails Haas Reject. (Haas is a business school at Berkeley; Physics H7B was the physics course I was teaching at the time.) Here are his emails:

First email from Hass Reject: “ARE YOU AN ATHEIST, DR MULLER? WHAT KIND OF BLASPHEMY IS THIS”

Second email from Haas Reject: “HEY DICK, DON'T DARE YOU CHANGE THE SUBJECT! ANSWER MY QUESTION ON UCB.CLASS.PHYSICS7B! ARE YOU AN ATHEIST OR NOT? YES OR NO? FAILURE TO ANSWER AS SPECIFIED WILL LEAD TO DISASTROUS CONSEQUENCES! GOT THAT?”

Third email from Haas Reject: “I wouldn't drive tomorrow morning...lest you be blown to bits… fucker”

Forgive the inclusion of the expletive, but that is what he wrote.

These days the emails might be considered “hate mail” and they would draw attention from both the university and the police and even newspapers. But at the time it was only a death threat, not as serious as hate mail.

Mr. Haas Reject made the mistake of using a campus computer. Not only that, but when he signed in to use it, he used his true name. We are fortunate that many people who break the law or otherwise try to do harm are so stupid.

The university put the case to a student disciplinary council. In punishment for what he had done, they took away his campus computer privileges for a semester. I can’t make sense of that, except by thinking that they interpreted his threats as a practical joke, with no intention of doing real harm. I suspect he may be on the US government no-fly list.

Source: https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-creepiest-phone-call-or-voice-message-youve-ever-received

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Screening, screening, screening! Admissions, admissions, admissions! But there are no jobs. And those who go to school go to get certs to look for jobs, rather than gaining relevant knowledge that would liberate them. Schools don't teach the skills you need to survive in the modern world.


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You requested a “quick” technique to recognize a manipulative person. Here it is short and sweet.

If the person talks too much and tries to dominate the conversation with their words, it is because they are trying to monopolize your thought processes. A manipulator will always try and out-talk you by constant dominance of a conversation.

This is the fastest and simplest way to recognize a manipulating person. There are of course other definitive ways, but you cannot manipulate another if you don’t dominate them in one way or another.

Source: https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-quickly-recognize-a-manipulative-person


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I live in Morocco and I can say it is “normal” for most Arab parents to beat their kids if they do something wrong. Is it the case for Westerners?

Two generations ago, it was not seen as particularly bad - it was not uncommon, but not universal. One generation ago, it was not seen as acceptable, but people didn’t talk about it. Now, it’s illegal in many Western countries. It still happens of course, but parents can expect to suffer legal consequences if someone finds out. If someone sees or hears about it happening to a child, they might call the police or child protection services. Staff at schools and kindergartens are trained to look for signs of beatings, and will also usually intervene if they suspect violence in the home. Penalties can include at least temporary loss of custody of the child, or even jail.

*This is gonna get raw. Really raw. If you’re squeamish, go elsewhere now.*

*seriously, last warning.*

When I was a young child, I got dysentery. It was a very mild case, so I was never in any danger, but it did lead to a number of accidents. And it was so mild that aside from those accidents, I was completely asymptomatic. As luck would have it, I had just been given a super nintendo. My parents thought I was holding it in so long so I could keep playing that I was shitting myself (my parents aren’t brilliant people).

Then my parents heard that there was a virus going around that may cause dysentery symptoms. So off we went to the doctor. As I left, my dad said to me “if they don’t find that virus, I’m going to beat your butt and then throw that damn nintendo out the window.” I was terrified because it wouldn’t have been the first time.

When they got the test results back, they grumbled “You got lucky.”

“lucky?!” I had fucking dysentery! People die from dysentery!

‘kay, who’s uncomfortable?

Fortunately (unfortunately, if you ask my dad), the days where you can do or even say that are LONG gone in the west.

PS - This is by a wide margin the least comfortable I’ve ever been answering a question.

Source: https://www.quora.com/Do-Westerners-beat-their-kids

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I know cigar is certainly bad for our health.

Alcohol might be bad too, to some extent. However, some exotic alcoholic drinks are being imported from all over the world and people are consuming them.

Most of traditional drinks and herbal remedies are also preserved in or mixed with alcohol. I once read a reputable magazine that drinking alcohol in moderation has some health benefit, but I’ve forgotten what kinds of benefit it is.

Is that true? Does alcohol really have any form of health benefit if drunk in moderation? Or is it a poison as some people publicize?

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Our crazy neighbor - North Korea - is ruled by Fat Kim, who is young, arrogant and unreasonable. West believes that China is capable of controlling this guy like a piece of cake. What they aren’t aware of is that Fat Kim does not have any personal relationship with the Chinese leaders. Although his father and grandfather were close to China, this guy is a loner who enjoys being a king of his kingdom. He neither bows to China nor trusts China.

In the Latest news, the fifth nuclear test conducted in north Korea caused a panic in north China. Children in Chinese school had to stay outside because of the earthquake . We hate it and we don’t support Fat Kim.

So the question is why China doesn’t overthrow Fat Kim. Well, there are realistic reasons:

If Fat Kim is down, South Korea will occupy and unify the whole Korea. Will the new Korea treat China as friend or enemy? We all know that US is allied with Korea and there are plenty of US military bases there that threaten China. It is unacceptable to see US soldiers in front of our door without any promise that China will not be attacked. The US and Korea should tell China what it will be like after they unify North Korea.
North Korea is your threat, and US is our threat. What do you expect China to do? Support and help you, then we can see US armies standing outside of our home ?

2. Who will save the refugees in case Fat Kim government is broken? We don’t like to see the situation taking place in the Middle East. US and allies come, drop bombs and then leave. The people living on the land and their neighbors suffer. There must be a perfect plan for postwar. Else, look at EU now, which is overwhelmed by the endless suffering refugees.

3. If Fat Kim uses nuclear weapons, how are you gonna deal with it? Is anyone ready for this case? If we screw it up, the Korea, China and Japan will be in chaos. The economics and politics will be out of control beyond imagination.

4. Suppose China puts pressure on North Korea. What if Fat Kim surrenders to US ?Worst of all, China turns into an enemy of Fat Kim who possesses nuclear weapons. Then China will be a loser in this battle. I believe west will laugh at our stupidity without any sympathy.

Since there isn’t any mutual strategic trust between west and China, we make decision on the basis of own national interest. We wait and see how Fat Kim and US play the game, we will enter the play in second half.


Source: https://www.quora.com/When-will-China-stop-supporting-North-Korea

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Why do Christians and Muslims condemn traditional powers and solutions openly and still use them secretly?

No Muslim and Christian leaders or members would ever endorse promote traditional powers and solutions in public. In fact, they condemn those who go to these native/witch doctors and herbalists.

But reality is that, most of these so-called religious people patronize these native doctors and herbalists secretly. This is an open secret.

Why can’t the blood of Jesus solve their problems? Why do they pray and still slaughter native fowls or bury charms in their compounds to solve their problems? Why do Muslims condemn these traditional powers and still mix ingredients to use in traditional ways?

Why is religion so full of hypocrisy?


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I saw xenophobic demagoguery before and can recognize it now too.

Climate science denial.

Naïve belief that international negotiations can be handled akin to leveraged real estate deals.

Unclear level of deference to Putin and certain Russian interests.

Extreme petty vindictiveness, even exceeding Nixonian level.

Likelihood of poor quality Supreme Court nominees.

Silly wall proposal and even sillier deportation notions.

Alienation of traditional US allies.

Increase in divisiveness in political discourse and normalization of more overt anti-minority rhetoric and action.

Source: https://www.quora.com/Why-would-Donald-Trump-be-a-bad-president

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Oh my gosh, yes. Many times. I’m a tall, very busty, pale-skinned woman. I look very American, but I speak Spanish and French. I was born and raised (mostly) overseas.

But here’s one I particularly like to recount.

So there I am, sitting in a wine bar in the Zona Colonial; specifically the Plaza de Espana. It looks like this:


I was born in Santo Domingo, though I now live in San Diego, so I was visiting family and playing tourist. I’m under one of the umbrellas with my sunglasses on. I’m waiting for a friend of mine to show up, and enjoying the late afternoon and this nice glass of white wine. I had a novel lying out, sitting on the table; it was probably a Dick Francis novel or some other English mystery.

Two guys come and sit down at one of the tables close to me, just to my side. They’ve obviously come for an early happy hour or something; they’re well-dressed and groomed. They look like they have money and are top of their world. They look briefly over at me and probably see the lack of companionship, the English novel.

There are not many people around. My friend is late. I’m enjoying the breeze and my glass of wine.

Their conversation starts about what they’re going to do tonight. Where to go, what to eat. And after. They talk about the day, how it’s hot and there’s not a lot of people out. Not a lot to do.

(The conversation will be roughly translated; it was mostly slang.)

One of them motions to me with his head. “Man, look at those. I’d like to suck on them.”

The other turns and looks at me. My glasses are dark; I don’t turn my head. “You think they’re real?”

“Does it matter, once they’re in my mouth?”

“Ah, she doesn’t look that hot.”

“I wouldn’t be looking at anything, I’d have my eyes closed.”

I’ll spare you further details about the conversation; it went downhill from there for another few minutes as they dissected my body and what I’d be like in bed.

At around this point, my friend comes onto the scene and sees me. She calls out my name, and as she comes near, starts to apologise for her delay. Work, etc. She says get my stuff, we are going to meet up with other friends in another restaurant down the street.

In fluent, Dominican-accented Spanish, naturally.

I answer her, saying I have to pick up the bill. I call out for the waiter. “La cuenta, por favor.” We chat while we’re waiting for the bill, catching up on school events, gossip, people we know.

The boys are frozen at their table. They aren’t even moving.

After I pay, I move behind their table, and stop briefly. Lean down between the two of them. “I hope you don’t talk about your sisters that way,” I tell them. “You never know who is listening.” And then we leave.

Fun times.

Source: https://www.quora.com/Have-you-ever-caught-someone-talking-about-you-in-another-language

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Yes! Here's the only one I can think of, but it's important.

My boyfriend was adopted as a brand new baby, straight from the hospital he was born in. His family is so perfect for him it's almost unbelievable.

He has no idea who his biological parents are, where they live now, if he has bio siblings, etc. Honestly, he doesn't care. He already has a family and he loves them fiercely. It's like how plenty of people don't really care to know everything about their great-grandparents: it feels too far removed from their daily lives to be of importance. You just don't feel the connection.

This won't happen for years, but my boyfriend and I want to get married and have kids someday. The only thing I am concerned about is him not knowing his biological family’s medical history for his own sake and for the sake of our future kiddos.

I just wish we knew what kind of preventative measures, if any, we need to be aware of taking down the line. I know that heart disease comes from both sides of my family, so I'm extra on top of eating right and exercising. If there's anything he should be tested for frequently as we age, we don't know about it. What if he's highly susceptible to liver cancer? What if blood disorders run in the family? What if 75% of babies born to his biological family have severe brain damage?

We don't know and will never know these things so we can't waste our energy stressing out over them. Still, it would be nice to know.

Edit: as I mentioned, I'm not stressed about this! I don't spend my days worrying about it, especially since I won't be having kids for probably another decade. I'm simply someone who likes to plan ahead, so I'm genuinely curious. Thank you for all the well-meaning advice!

Are there any downsides to adoption?


Source: https://www.quora.com/Are-there-any-downsides-to-adoption

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We all want to find happiness at work and at home, but 24% of U.S. employees say the balancing act is getting tougher to manage, according to a study by Ernst & Young (EY). That’s because work is spilling into time that should be spent on personal pursuits. About half of managers work more than 40 hours a week, the EY report found, and a study by Project: Time Off found that the majority (55%) of us end the year without taking advantage of paid time off. That unused vacation time totals 658 million days.

But happiness experts say work-life balance is a myth. Work life and home life aren’t separate; there’s just "life," and happiness comes from figuring out a way to combine the two seamlessly.

"People who are highly resilient don’t see the day in terms of separation," says Maria Sirois, clinical psychologist at the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. "There isn’t work me versus home me. Ninety percent of success of life is about who we are and what we bring to the day at work and at home."

Here are five things you can do at home that will promote happiness at work.

1. PRACTICE HAPPINESS
Research has found that happy people do better at work, so when you’re home, consciously choose to do activities that lift you, says Sirois.

"Home life often includes a list of chores and obligations. All of those responsibilities can be burdensome if you’re not also invigorated by what brings you joy," she says. "When we create a home life filled every day with something that lifts us, we will transfer that happiness to work."

It can also help to have a happiness check-in, adds Tim Bono, who lectures on the psychology of happiness at Washington University in St. Louis. "Take time every so often to remind yourself of what’s going well," he says, adding:

It’s easy to get bogged down with reports, presentations, and other hassles at work, but it’s also important to direct attention to things that are going well for you. Research has shown that adults who take just a few minutes each week to reflect on what they are grateful for (even amid life’s stressors) feel better about their lives overall, report more optimism about their upcoming week, and even get sick less often.

2. SCHEDULE MICRO-RECOVERY MOMENTS
Most of us have hours during the day when we operate at peak performance. The time of the day where we struggle to work, however, can be improved by practicing micro-recovery, says Sirois. "It’s those few minutes you set aside periodically to nourish yourself by doing activities that elevate calm and serenity or activities that increase energy and vitality," she says.

"Sleep also helps us regulate our emotions and maintain a positive mood throughout the day."
Sirois suggests scheduling these mini-breaks into your day until it becomes a habit. Go for a walk outside, do some stretching, read poetry, or simply have a cup of tea. Choosing what to do will depend on what makes you happy, she says.

3. LEAD FROM YOUR CORE STRENGTHS
You will improve your life at work when you use your authentic qualities, says Sirois. "Strong characteristics define who you are, such as creative, energetic, optimistic, extroverted, compassionate, prudent, and much more," she says. "It’s important to understand your core strengths and leverage them, because it will build engagement and energy."

If you aren’t sure of your strengths, Sirois recommends filling out the free questionnaire at viacharacter.org. "The material is heavily researched by scientists in the field of positive psychology and backed by rigorous data," she says, adding that people who are aware of their strengths and find a way to apply them at work find more meaning.

4. CREATE TECH BOUNDARIES
A CNBC Mobile Elite poll showed that 70% of executives feel that mobile technology helps work invade their leisure time.

Sometimes, the best way to avoid the temptation to work at home is to create a physical barrier to help keep yourself present with your family or friends, says Andrew Filev, CEO of work-management platform Wrike. "When you're home, keep your device someplace out of site," he suggests. "If you find it hard to part with your device, at least silence it or consider using airplane mode.

"Burnout is a real threat, and failing to give yourself adequate time to recharge your batteries can make it happen faster and worse," says Filev. "If you rest and spend time with the people you care about, you'll find your work benefits from it."

5. GET ENOUGH SLEEP
Studies have shown that sleep deprivation can lead to cognitive impairment similar to that of alcohol intoxication. It also makes us more reactive to small nuisances that otherwise would have rolled right off our backs, adds Bono. Researchers at the Finnish Institute of Occupational Health in Helsinki found that the optimal amount of sleep for energy and wellness is seven to eight hours each night, according to the study published in the medical journal Sleep.

It’s easy to let sleep fall further down your list of priorities when you have too much on your plate. "What you don’t realize, however, is that the brain is doing a lot of important work when we sleep," says Bono. "Sleep increases activity in the frontal lobe, which sharpens our mental acuity and helps us stay on task toward the next day’s goals," he explains. "Sleep also helps us regulate our emotions and maintain a positive mood throughout the day."

Source: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1EeyTM/:j-efId!Y:SKT-g_SN/www.fastcompany.com/3062736/5-things-you-can-do-at-home-to-improve-your-life-at-work


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The American Dream: “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness” Working hard will get you ahead, and allow one to become financially stable. You will be able to sit back and reap your rewards as your family prospers, and each generation becomes wealthier than the last, as a result of hard work, attained through going to college.
Honestly, just picture the 1950s.


A formal definition:

“the ideal by which equality of opportunity is available to any American, allowing the highest aspirations and goals to be achieved.”

The Chinese Dream: The “Chinese Dream” has four parts:

1. Strong China (economically, politically, diplomatically, scientifically, militarily);

2. Civilized China (equity and fairness, rich culture, high morals);

3. Harmonious China (amity among social classes);

4. Beautiful China (healthy environment, low pollution)”

Source: “Xi Jinping’s Chinese Dream,” New York Times, June 4, 2013


Summary:

The American Dream is about making individuals and their families more prosperous, by increasing and allowing economic opportunities to succeed.

The Chinese dream is about making the nation strong, and seeing China as the #1 country in the world, in response to the 100 years of national humiliation (1840–1940).

Source: https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-differences-between-the-Chinese-dream-and-the-American-dream

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Goodness, where to begin.

The things that absolutely annoys me the most about doctors is - generally - their willingness to do what they need to climb up the greasy pole of the medical system.

For patients, here is the terrifying truth; climbing up the ladder has very little to do with what you need, want, or expect.

As a patient, you might expect that a doctor would be rewarded for taking really kind, considered care of you; explaining the disease; where you should be improving things with medication, behaviour, exercise and movement; guidance on how to get the most out of your abilities and disabilities, a kind word, a gentle touch.

In truth, the stuff that *you* want your doctor to do and the things you want them to be are not only unrewarded by the system, often they are covertly punished.

The stuff your doctor needs to do to be a successful doctor has not only very little to do with you, often you are getting in the way.

The doctor wants:

1/ To read and write research papers: because a working knowledge of often esoteric research is regarded as desirable in the medical system, despite the fact that it changes little of your day to day care.

2/ To conduct an audit of something: not because it will makes things better for you, but because “clinical governance” is a career tick box that you need to cross.

3/ To get you out and the next patient in: Because throughput.

4/ To go on courses: because education aside, “Continuing Professional Development” is another one of those critical tick-boxes.

5/ To be sticking really big needles into you: because the juniors need to rack up a number of CVP lines, or arterial lines, or intubations to get kudos points and experience.

6/ Wants to be in the mess room: because that’s where the other interesting young doctors are.

Here’s the rub:

1/ Explaining what your medication does and why it’s important? Takes too long: please go to someone else.

2/ Providing a carefully drawn diagram that truly explains to you what the pathology is and what you need to do to make things better, not worse? Takes too long: could be seeing another patient who could be a quick fix.

2/ Explain to your family what the options are? Takes too long: probably won’t “alter management.”

3/ Hold your hand while you’re in pain? Takes too long: Is there a volunteer around?

4/ Hold your hand while you die: Takes too long: Can someone else do this?

The savagery of modern medicine is that it is about throughput, numbers, credentialling, objective measures, pharmaceuticals and all important monetary value.

As a society, we have created this. We value the measurable, the objective, the Unit above the gentle, more subtle undulations of human experience and the human spirit. It’s that simple.

On a more positive note, I made a decision last year to leave the system to freelance, and I’ve never been more pleased with my work: I’m only accountable to my patients and my conscience. It seems to work well: here’s a picture of me holding a gift I received this weekend from a lovely patient with gastroenteritis, who appreciated the extra 15 minutes to actually explain what I was thinking and doing, and how I was going to care for them. That time, that care, meant much, much more to them than the fluids and the anti-spasmodic.

Source: https://www.quora.com/What-annoys-you-about-doctors

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How do you know when a beggar genuinely needs help or is trying to exploit you?

Last week while sitting in the food court of the office complex where I work, a man approached my table.

I eat alone. By choice.

I’m nice to people all damn day - this is one hour I don’t have to smile at y’all. Back the hell off.

This gentleman, though, walked up to my table very respectfully. If he had a hat, it would have been in his hands.

He said, “Excuse me, ma’am” and waited for me to look up. Cuz I was Quora-ing and it took a sec.

When I made eye contact, I instinctively gave him the scan.

55-ish. Hair and beard are kempt. Clothes aren’t fancy but they’re clean.

Body language - respectful more than anything. Doesn’t want to impose. Hates being in this position but has to ask, one more time, after all the times before.

He’s not hitting on me - he wants money.

I looked him in the eye and waited.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but could you help me get a bed at the Salvation Army for tonight? They charge $9 a night and I could sure use…”

I don’t actually know if he finished his sentence. Or if the Salvation Army in my city charges $9 a night for a bed to sleep in.

I had a visceral reaction to this particular man, and I wanted to help him in some small way.

I gave him all the cash that was in my purse - which wasn’t much. He was so grateful, I felt ashamed that I hadn’t given him more.

He moved on with a smile…but the smile he left me with was bigger than his, because I had trusted myself and the Universe, and I had followed my heart.

Basically - you can never know.

You make the decision, in the moment, to give or not give to that person. You can only base that on your observations and gut feelings.

If, in the end, you feel good about what you did, then you did the right thing.

Go out and help people. If you offer, let them accept. Don’t keep tabs on pennies.

We have so much; all we can do is give freely.

*EDIT* I have never done this before, but I will just say now, after 97+ comments, that I don’t want to, nor will I, debate with you whether this man or any other person who is asking for help is actually in need or not. I made my choice and I stand by it.

If you have another opinion, write your own answer. I will no longer respond to these comments.

Source: https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-know-when-a-beggar-genuinely-needs-help-or-is-trying-to-exploit-you


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You wake up tomorrow with all the powers of Superman. What do you do first?

This is one of my fantasies. I often consider this question when waiting for a bus, walking somewhere or lying in bed unable to sleep.

And I know it is completely trite answer, but I would try to 'fix' the world. I wouldn't want to do it myself, I would want people to solve their own problems, so I would use my powers subtly and discretely to guide humanity into doing the right thing.

Most importantly, I am acutely aware that power corrupts, so I would always think long and hard about my actions, my reasons for doing them and the ramifications of them.

I think my most important goal would be to expose corruption and enforce true democracy. Totalitarian regimes cannot withstand scrutiny. The mere knowledge of my superman powers and benevolent support for democracy and fairness would spark revolutions in totalitarian regimes.

I would make it known that I would use my powers to foil any aggressive invasion and nuclear attacks, and hold the politician/military aggressors personally accountable. That would free up the world for disarmament, and would have a severe boost to the economy of many countries. Any country whose economy suffers because of the removal of its military-industrial complex, should suffer.

In essence, I would be a fairly hands off dictator, trying my hardest to remain benevolent for as long as possible, and hopefully resigning before that power corrupts me too much.


Source: https://www.quora.com/You-wake-up-tomorrow-with-all-the-powers-of-Superman-What-do-you-do-first

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Congrats. However, I'd say there's no big deal in this. Many people welcome their grandchildren everyday, without making any noise. The only difference is that, this one is a personality.



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What part of Trump's view is correct?

Your comment says, “Nothing can be 100% wrong.” Really?

“2 + 2 = 5.” What percentage of that is correct?

“A Final Solution to the Jewish problem is to kill them all.” What percentage of that is correct?

“Global warming is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese.” What percentage of that is correct?

Yes, many things can be, and are, 100% wrong.

Turning to Trump: because he shifts his views on so many issues frequently, sometimes he hits on a correct view, apparently by random luck. For example, after being for torture, he then was against it, but then returned to wanting it authorized. So for a moment he appeared to hold the only correct view, that torture is improper. He has had similar flip-flops on immigration, abortion, funding of Planned Parenthood, and other issues.

However, he is often 100% wrong.


Source: https://www.quora.com/What-part-of-Trumps-view-is-correct

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What Ramota did to me is a common thing among women. Perhaps they’ll learn from this.

This is a woman I loved. A woman that has never seen my face without getting money from me. I can’t count how many times I sent recharge cards of at least, N500 to her, which was on weekly basis at least.

I’m the most generous man she’s ever met, and I’ve spent huge amounts of money on her.

But she does something to me which is really disgusting. She’s never used her money to call me… Not even my money.

Whenever I sent her credit cards, she’ll only flash to let me know that the PIN code has entered. I’ll often call he back to confirm if the PIN has entered.

Despite the fact that I give her what even her parents can’t give her right now, she’s never called my personally to spend only one minute of her own money as airtime (even with the credits I sent to here). Why?

There was a time I sent her a check of N50,000. She only flashed me, and I called back to confirm she cashed the money. Why can’t she called? Why is she so stingy?

One day, I sat down to think of how useless and thoughtless this girl is. She’s never visited me one day, coming with N20 worth of snack. But whenever I go to her, I go with lots of provisions. Clearly, she’s a girl I can’t spend the rest of my life with.

Women should know that there are many things they can give to make a man happy – not only sex. Giving a man your body is not a favor, after all, you enjoy it as well and oyu probably don’t do that free.

What does she use the free credits I give her for? To call people that can’t help her at all anytime she has financial problems? And this is the person that comes to me with new problems every week. Clearly, this girl is not normal.

I cut her off completely and has refused to pick her calls since then; even if she uses an unknown line to call. I don’t need to tell her why or the right thing to do. She’s old enough to know the right from the wrong. I don’t want a situation in which she’ll pretend to change because of what she needs from me.

ADVICE TO MEN: Don’t marry a stingy woman… no matter other qualities she may possess. If you’re dating a woman and know she’s stingy and you still go ahead to marry her, I guarantee you that you’ll regret it one day.

- Contributed by an anonymous author.


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What are the rudest words you have said to your parents?

My youngest brother was incessantly crying. It was dinner time, I'd had enough shit that day apparently. We're at the table with whatever dinner (me, two brothers, the sister) and the baby brother is crying away. My birth mother was screaming at him and pushing him away from her. I'd had enough.

I got up from dinner, didn't finish it at all. I took baby brother in my room. He screamed and cried at the door, even after my mother's rejection. I had been yelling back at her when I left the table. Behind my closed door and ready to defend myself, I screamed:

“IF YOU DIDN'T WANT HIM, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD HIM.”

Rude. Disrespectful. Atrocious words for a child to speak to a parent. Unfortunately, truer words have rarely passed through my mouth.

She almost broke my door in, the door frame cracked a bit but the door remained solid somehow. I was backed up against it (me as an overweight 10 year old girl), my baby brother who was just 1 year old finally accepting my comfort.


Source: https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-rudest-words-you-have-said-to-your-parents

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