₦airaland Forum

if it was in Nigeria fraudsters in the Nigeria police would have maimed him in the process of making him reveal how he does the hacking. more atrocities would have been committed with his ideas.

they obviously have superiors who seem incapable of the task. juniors can't command superiors hence a need to skip ranks. they could have been promoted after their performance is clearly satisfactory. but the military is like a mechanical device it won't work.

it means no amount of knowledge can hold nature spell bund forever, it will always have its way in time

someone there is looking like a dead man already. when sent on a nine eleven mission even survivors will be cleaned up.

Who get salt abeg I wan soak garri! Somftin is strong with me!

E get some money whey be say when you collect am finish e be like say you swallow fish hook! Blood pressure go raise abysmally. And na abnormal body temperature the goon go dey get no medicine fit cure the african magic o

Naija I hail o una hale o! I've been laughing since I got this joke.....but are we really
this
bad? Hmmmmm listen
ANGELS: Father! We are tired of these Nigerians in
heaven.
GOD: What have they done this time?
ANGEL: Everything! They don't listen to instructions. They
don't
obey traffic rules. They
don't wait for their turn in anything. They are completely
reckless!
GOD: Then we better send them to hell!
(Calls the Devil). Hello..
SATAN: Hello my creator and master, pls call me later.
There's
an issue I'm trying to resolve.
Ten (10) minutes later:
GOD: Hello Lucifer.
SATAN: Your Lordship my father! I'll call you back.
The issue has turned into a crisis ooo!
An hour later:
SATAN: Hello?
GOD: What's going on over there?
SATAN: It's the Nigerians I have with me in hell oooo!
(He stammers),they... they... they have quenched the fire
in hell
and installed air conditioner.

Exactly the kind of hair some Dibia and babalawos would need to perfect their jazz! I am so sure she is about becoming a priestess. Why like this? This kind of people make me feel like speaking spatua!

That solider boy is a coward. His head deserves to be buried in shit. The world has got Too many cowards harming unarmed easy going souls. Just like cain did to Abel. Even the Devil is a coward.

I was expecting her to say she once dragged a lady off her hubby's private JET or something. For crying out loud his private part? Dunno. Anyway peace!

Nothing whey eye no go see finish for this country. That guy needs to be carefully monitored!

Tokziby:
Nice concept, this guy is a very good marketer for thinking outside the box and tapping into the meekness of people's mind.
The fact behind the idea is;
1. He knows religion is the opium of the people and people are "dogmatic followers"
2. People will buy it because majority of religious people are naturally idol worshipers, they tend to believe more in physical materials rather faith. clerics know this, thats why u have holy water, holy cross, holy handkerchief, holy cucumber, holy cassava, holy pictures, Catholics have them in abundance and pray to them, Alfas will give u tira.
3. By the time this goes viral u will see pastors making orders and trying to make money of it by saying its anoited and it will work for everything, from sickness to wealth, barenness, disappointment etc

Abeg Thumbs up for the GUY!!! the future billionaire, make sure u sell am 1 k and sell it to 10million people, accountant in the house finish the maths..

In a country where leaders compete in crime, citizens
can't tell the difference between sacred and secular,
politicians are like wolves prowling and killing and
rapaciously taking whatever they want, preachers busy
covering up for politicians. Usury is rampant, extortion
and bribery is commonplace. All these will only lead to
more rapacious greed and very bloody brutalities. It is
very true the end has come, the end is here, eternity
very near. Stand for God the master before he empties
out his wrath on you.

oscaruzie:
buhahahahahahahahahahahahaha. abeg which movie get this gif.? really wanna see the movie!!!

Na JOGUNOMI part2 get am. Very outresting movie turn soap-opera

babseg:
WHAT I CAN SEE IS THAT THE POOR DUDE HAS BEEN RUNNING AROUND IN KITCHEN COOKING NICE FOOD FOR HIS GF AND PROBABLY USING FIREWOOD BECAUSE OF RECESSION

Modified : somebody said he was a she. So just reverse my subject to a "she" in the comment.

This is one of the most reasonable comment I have ever come across on Nairaland. It is not good enough to use Baygon on strangers while pretending to be carrying out the same a action buy apply body spray or deodorant on people we care about. The solution is simple help out by washing his or her feet just like Jesus did to his 12 disciples. The next time he or she will take the pain to come sleep with clean feet.

One man's food is another's poison. *SLAVE HUSBAND*
Wants to be treated like a King but treats Wife like a Slave. Likes wife to perform old tradition respect and hates being called by their first name. Most men can be very selfish but the lady should have laid the example by doing exactly what she will like done to her

You will offer a contract deal to a Nigerian and you will have to get some one who will get the contract done for him too. What a dilemma!

This is the year of surprises you can always expect more. You really won't need to ask for more. A very calculated attempt. Worst case of friendly fire of the millenium? Your guess is as good as wrong. Bokoharam run things in Nigeria

I salute and credit MMM guiders for doing their best to bring back this operation as I put it. It has been badly or better still poorly programmed right from the beginning and no thanks to the ingenuity and dubious mindset of crooked personalities who turned a table-knife to a dagger. One needs not to look too faraway in order to find a simple and ruthlessly efficient way to turn a good idea to a seemingly bad idea. MMM will die but not now! It has to break more heart and cause more tears to flow. That is the design!

[quote author=Toks2008 post=52494706]I will be as blunt as i can in addressing these ignorant notions some Nigerian ladies have towards marriage.

1.Being too careful about her choice of man:

OK I understand you are the type that is so scared of venturing into marriage so you want to be very careful in choosing that man you will likely spend your life with..but I'm sorry to be the carrier of BAD NEWS..."No matter how careful you may be,every marriage is filled with uncertainties...even if you marry an angel,he could turn to a demon so just take the risk and be ready to confront any uncertainty you find else you may remain scared and single for a very long time.
Infact the more careful you are the greater the possibility of making a mistake.

2.I want a man who will love me for real:

I'm very vast in English language but when it comes to this sentence,the more I try to understand the more confused I get..."love you for real" like seriously!

You better get this fact now,if loving you for real means loving you with your imperfections then i might agree to an extent else...NO MAN CAN LOVE YOU FOR REAL except that real is substituted for many things like love you for your curves,intelligence,manners.....so stop using this ackward sentence and try to develop something a man can desire you for...no man wants a woman for nothing.

3.Wanting a made guy or financially OK guy:

I honestly have nothing against this except the fact that being financially OK is relative and we don't ever get to know the definition of "being financially ok"

But then I kinda wonder why ladies fail to understand that most guys in their late 20s and early 30s are still trying to find their feet which means a lady who wants a made guy is inadventedly saying she wants a married man or sugar daddy because most made men in Nigeria are in their mid or late 30s and in their 40s and would have been married.

However,the few younger ones who are made can not have more than one wife.

Ladies should try to be financially independent so that they can be disciplined enough to start a life with a guy rather than struggling with several ladies to be with a "made" guy or ending up as a side chic of a made guy.

4.I can not suffer with a man because he could dump me latter:

This is one of the dumbest notion many Naija ladies have and anytime I hear a lady says this I just give her that stupid look of a looser.

Are you doing any guy a favor by dating him when he is broke? For Petes sake you have every right to walk away from any affair if you dim fit and staying with a struggling guy is your choice and not a favor. ..if he latter becomes rich and he dumps you,just walk away rather than use those words to blackmail him.

5.My wedding will be the talk of the town:

I totally agree that a grand wedding is the dream of most ladies and I also share in this dream but the question is this; "Is it a do or die to have a grand wedding"?
What is wrong in having an intro and registry wedding and latter plan for the grand one when the funds are there?

Don't be deceived. ..8 out of 10 grand weddings in Nigeria are sponsored.

I think this is one area many ladies are destroying their lives because a guy will do you like a wife and enjoy all the wify benefit while telling you he is not ready for a grand wedding and you will continue to foolishly play along until he dumps your overused ass for a younger lady when he is finally ready...biko receive sense.

6.GOD has not confirmed him or my Pastor said he is not the one:

Like seriously! OK get this straight. ..it is good to listen to the word of GOD or to follow your pastor's advice but hello! when it comes to choosing a spouse GOD has clearly made it our duty to look for a spouse and he will gladly give us his favor ...Proverbs 18:22:
"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD".

The best you can do is to pray to God that a good guy finds you and when next a prophet or pastor tells you a certain guy is not for you...simply ask him with humility to tell you who your man is..his name,house address,complexion....

7.I can't marry a man I have no feelings for:

Your feeling is very important when choosing a man but pray he also has feelings for you else you will end up in tears no matter how deep your feelings for him is.

This is a hard nut for many ladies but the sincere fact is that your feelings is not as important as the guy's feeling towards you.

Getting married to a man may be hinged on your feelings but staying married to him is primarily dependent on how he feels towards you.


8.Marriage is a beautiful and wonderful institution:

I'm so sorry to tell you another bad news...."marriage is very turbulent and you will feel like running out"

At the intial stage it will seem like its so beautiful and made in heaven but that is the initial gragra stage. But when the reality stage sets in you will come to know the true picture of marriage but the good news is that you can make yours always beautiful if you can learn to tolerate, forgive,forgive and forgive because only two forgivers can make a beautiful marriage.

9.If my husband truly loves me,he will never cheat on me:

I know this issue is over-flogged and many ladies will never agree to this fact..."YOUR HUSBAND CAN HAVE EYES FOR ONLY YOU AND IN FACT COMMIT SUICIDE IF YOU LEAVE HIM YET CAN STILL CHEAT ON YOU"...sounds stupid I guess but that is just the truth..

Just warn your husband that if he must do let him go far far away from you and must use protection...I always say...only a foolish lady will hinge her marital happiness on her husband's sexual faithfulness to her.

I'm not supporting philandering but this is just how the cookie crumbles.

10.I want a tall cute rich romantic sexy....

Habba sister just negodu there...only you one...please there is a difference between real life and Telemundo. .you can not have all you want in one man and if you think you have then kudos to you. Many ladies cheat on their hubbies or fiance because they can't help comparing...

Tade is good in bed but not rich enough...Richard spoils me with money but very boring in bed and Seun is so caring but.... so you run to Richard to get money,you remember Tade when you feel like having a good time and Seun comes to mind if you want to feel loved..YOU ARE A SORRY CASE.

Just go for a man that has the average qualities and settle down...no man has it all.

As long as a lady is ready to face these facts then she will definitely have no problem in her marriage but if you find yourself totally uncomfortable with one or more of the points listed above, i will advice you remain single until you are mature enough to accept them.
Abi ooo! Tell them make them hear o. Ati so so so so!!!! And dem be like kilode o, what can faaa!

Ride on Real folks don't sulk, they keep driving hard. Today might be the very last any way. If I am wrong today one day I will be very right!

tarboshi:
A friend sent me this today:

If u were born btwn 1980-1995,
2016 should be ur last year of being stupid..
We are getting old, people!..NO TIME TO WASTE

You need to:
1. Get a job if u don't have one. No need to keep waiting for free Chinese laptops or the government to provide job for you or waiting for someone to surprice u. There is no more manner from heaven direct. You must go for work manner if u need one.

2. Filter ur current friends and make more business patners. Don't be intimidated. Thee president can be your friend. So go closer to great people , ask questions... be real to yourself and stop faking to be what u are not.

3. Start saving a part of ur income and invest it (not in MMM, buy a land, shares, bond etc). You must not build in a day. You can go slowly slowly and before the year runs u have done something unbelievable

4.stop clubbing every weekend.. Stay indoors sometimes n read a book or 2. Read books and watch movies that motivates u.

5. (Ladies) stop waiting for a prince charming to come and save ur self (disney n hollywood lied to us) you should know that by now. A hard working lady is an added bonus to the husband and family. Don't be a liability to your man but an asset.

6. Stop dating anybody u dont see yourself having a future with. Have focus in everything you do in life. Once the objective is failing ...the next thing should be a Quit.

7. (Guys) stop honoring every single invitation to go and hang out n drink n flex with chicks. I don't say don't have pleasure... let there be time for everything. We make time...time don't make us.

8. start sending money back home (ur parents will be so proud). Give gift to family and friends ...there prayers and happiness is the key for your multiplication.

9. Stop squatting around with friends, get your own apartment. Yes u can!!!

10. Please God with your body. It is the only way to have a body fit for the old days ahead. Pray and commit all to God with trust.

11. Don't be a natural fan to nollywood . You don't need to know all movie that cames out new. Those people u are watching are working there own money. U can also be watched . Don't u think so?

12. Think about being responsible .

GUYS-
Think about getting a family of your own and making your own home. You are independent
LADIES -
Stop posting ur helps and breast on Facebook just to get many likes. Go back to your Facebook and delete all senseless and exposed pics . You are at a marriage age. Go closer to mothers than to single ladies . You will learn a lot in preparation of your own house.

foolishness pays well until old age when you start paying back tell them make dem hear