bestdudes:
Hi, Happy Sunday Evening To Everyone.

A few days ago, I created a thread Titled "Why I Walked Away From 3 Ladies I Had Interest In."

For Those who may have missed it, here is a link: https://www.nairaland.com/7437137/why-walked-away-3-ladies

Most people who commented on that thread were attacking me: some blamed me, some said I am impatient, others said I lack game and so many other things and a bunch of others said the girls are not into me (meaning they do not find me attractive lol). Summarily, it was my fault.

However, I left out a piece of information in all of these and that is the fact that there is one girl whom I stuck with. What this means is that I approached 4 girls, discarded 3, and stuck with 1. 2 ONLINE, and 2 OFFLINE! Please take note.

Background: I saw this girl in church as she sat behind me, like Lady 3 in the other thread, in the company of her sister. We had just closed and it was crowded. I approached her with a compliment on her outfit and told her my purpose which is to exchange contact. I gave her my iPhone to type her number. She did but not without having mine.

As I was leaving, I dialed the number so that I can have it saved later when I get home. I curiously check my call log and didn't see the number... wow...It didn't store the dialed number because there is no sim inside. It is a new phone and I only use it to browse with a router.

I quickly ran back to find her and gave her my android to type the number again. She did, I saved it there and left.

On getting home, I ate and slept off. I didn't call her either and I didn't intend to call immediately.

As soon as I woke, did a few stuff... I opened my WhatsApp. There were a few messages waiting for me and to my surprise, hers was among those. In fact, I never thought that would happen but it did.

I replied to other messages first and hers last and when I engaged her, she couldn't contain the excitement. She told me what her sister thought about me and what I did, plus expressed shock that I came back to find her again, like how did I know they were there (a different location from where we stood previously) as it is one of the biggest churches in Nigeria.

Now, here is where it got even more interesting: She was communicative, outspoken, direct, responsive, and receptive.

Thankfully, she is from my mum's state, so that helped boost the influence and reception some more.

She was just asking me questions, wanting to know a lot about me. You could really feel the desire, energy, vibes, and interest.

At some point, she asked me to send my picture... For those who thought I was some not-good-looking dude, hence the reason those ladies were probably acting that way lol.

She is pretty, much taller than our Lady 3 who was replying with one-liners, with a nice shape than lady 3 as well.

And like they say, the rest is history.

The reason why I am sharing this is that a lot of Nigerian men have been conditioned to settle for anything. Listen up, the moment you know that there are many women out there, you will never settle for anything that does not give your what you want. Having an abundance mentality (something women do not want you to have so that they can mess you up) will save you from girls with repulsive attitudes.

I am a guy who is big on communication, be free, talk to me... once it looks like I am the only one doing the work, I will pull out. I don't ever want to feel like I am forcing myself on someone because, from experience, it never ends well.

See, at no point must you be found trying to manage a relationship with any girl you just met.

Some people feel you must FIGHT to win a woman, fight to convince her, Fight to coerce her... I have done that before and it didn't end well.

Instead of trying to fight as if you are at war with yourself, why not find that one person that matches your energy and returns the vibe? Why not find that girl who is interested in you? Why not find that girl who is willing?

If a girl is not matching your energy, move on to the next one. There are too many women out there than you can handle.

Like I said in that thread, I will keep discarding these girls until I get someone who is interested in me, one who is responsive, one who is polite, friendly, receptive, communicative, and willing. And just because my relationship with this current girl started on a good note does not mean it will end well. It could go North or South, but my point is that I would only go for someone that is friendlier, polite, and open.

Now look at the stat: I approach 4, I discarded 3 for a reason, and I stuck with one. Women are quick to discard a guy, why shouldn't I be allowed to do that?

Women are always keeping their options open, even while in a relationship... so why should you be sticking to just one girl?

I am not saying that you should be sleeping with many girls. I don't do that either but my point is to have as many options as possible. It helps and once a girl knows there are other girls fighting for your attention, your value in her eyes will increase but the opposite is the case if you stick to just one or making look like she is the only one in your life. When you do that, you are likely to get dumped.

The street is brutal, stay vigilant.

Dailyparrot:


I responded to your first post and I'm going to respond to this one too.

You only ended up confirming exactly what you were told on the previous thread.

Firstly, the girl has to be into you. This is the first step towards dealing with a girl. It does not matter whether the girl is beautiful or not, or has a higher class or not, she just has to have some level of likeness for you. This is where girls get it better than guys. A girl will rather follow an Okada rider that likes her than a banker that tolerates her presence.

Unfortunately, most girls definition of likeness is someone that can spend on them or tolerate their bullshit which most classed men can't.

You met her in church. This is the catch. I told you on the other thread to always define what you want whenever you get connected with a girl. That girl may be loyal and communicative simply because she's looking for a husband. A 25 years old university graduate is more likely to be open in conversation with you than a 21 year old 200 level undergraduate.

She wants something which she cannot make open to you now, but her actions and body language should be able to tell you that if you are smart.

It is now left for you to know exactly what you want and determine the level of commitment you put in the situationship. I ghost a lot of girls that I know that are desperate for marriage when I know I have zero interest to marry them. They want the relationship to follow the prolonged process of dating, courting, and all which I'm not game for since I know it would be wasting my resources for nothing.

I can pay for transport for a girl that I want to marry to come from Anambra to Lagos to see me since it would entail us studying each other for future purposes, but I can't try that for a girl I have the intention to sex only.

So, define your intention within you and that will guide your commitment level. When purpose is not defined, abuse is inevitable.

And if you must know, the more good looking you are, the less serious ladies take you. I'm a victim.

The street is truly brutal and this is a game. You have to understand it and play it well. Some ladies can take you unserious simply because they feel your class is higher than theirs and you can't want something serious from them other than their pussy. So, you should also look at the class of girls you follow if they match your class. Ladies suffer from inferiority complex as much as guys. If you truly like a girl and want to prove to her that irrespective of her class, body type, etc., you still want her, then you will have to be patient to prove that to her and not just act so hastily in discarding her. Then again, it depends on what you want from the girls. Are you looking for a wife, a girlfriend, a sexmate, a chatbuddy, a friend with benefits, etc. Define what exactly you are looking for and express that when interacting with the ladies so your message will be well received and they will act accordingly if they feel they are in for whatever you want. You'd be surprised that a girl who would accept to fu^k you will never accept to marry you. So if you approach such girl with a marriage vibe, she will ghost you.

I pray this one ends well. Hopefully, you don't get surprises when you finally find out the reason for this uncanny friendliness unusual of a typical Nigeria girl.

Blessedmercy8:


You see? This has always been my fear. rushing in and rushing out.

Now I may trust myself to make it work against all odds but you never know with the other person If they'll be willing to make it work.

With the kind of human beings around these days, it's not encouraging to me at all.

I like my space and peace of mind.

Blessedmercy8:
Those who are married are not 100% Happy. So it's not marriage that gives happiness. In fact, many of them will tell you they lost their happiness after marriage.

Marriage is a whole lot of responsibility that demands a lot from you. It's not like what you see in zeeworld. That is why many get disappointed because they go in with unrealistic expectations.

Just continue living your best life. If marriage comes, fine. if not, life goes on.
For me, I can't be bothered as long as God is taking care of me and I'm comfortable. what more can one possibly ask for in life?

emmanuelbrown26:
U can't compare life of a man with a woman.

Women expires after 25 down to 29years. U see 30year old lady is so shattered both mentally and emotionally.

I was engaging one sometime ago, d way dis aunty dey fast and pray all bcs of a man I keep wondering if men dun finish for dis kantri.
When a woman start flexing muscle with a man,she tends to remain single for d rest of her life, if u think say na lie go and ask @B.les.sed.m.ercy.8

Faber:
Follow white people dey flex feminism muscles and "I don't need a man"

Rita Dominic rushing to go marry, Tonto Dike, always shedding tears for leaving Churchill, Mercy Aigbe becoming a 3rd wife to a man, Judy Austin getting married to Yul Edochie, becoming a second wife, Genevieve running into depression and mental issues because of lack of husband should teach you young ladies some lessons...

Guys are going on strike, you will not notice it till it dawns on you.
I got like two ladies in their 30s always frowning at me when they see me with younger girls...one told me, what I am doing with all these indomie girls. For her mind I should come and settle for her battered pussy. who does that

fykes:
I don't think the marriage thing is a male / responsibility factor...you need to see the level of toxic feminism the average young woman out there has... so entitled, proud and shallow. (No bashing sisters) but if you want to marry in this tough country and times, pls learn the act of being peaceful and making your personal space a comfort zone - No man will devalue a woman who gives him peace not for anything.

Please learn from ur mothers
Being disrespectful doesn't make you woke

Being rude and arrogant doesn't make you woke.
Being woke is being progressively informed.

Sex is not a man's critical need, respect is.

ednut1:
When in Rome behave like the romans. It’s usually the ladies who cry more. They are used to men toasting them or passing comments daily/ weekly. All of a sudden no one is doing that in Canada. So they begin to ask themselves am i no fine again. They mostly stay indoors during winter instead of networking, learning ice skating, skiing, go watch basketball or hockey. Whose fault is that if not yours.Some of them set unrealistic standards and when they get left behind or aged, like a friend of mine who is looking for an igbo man from imo state who is also a catholic since 2019 ( sister where you wan see am). They begin to lament and cry loneliness.

For guys too, all your life it’s money’s u use to catch babes you now came to where the opposite sex get money then you can’t evolve So guys tried dating apps for like a month and quit cos them no get patience or game. Then begin to lament

Some people ( both sexes) too are depressed from the multiple bills. You earn 80k gross but you live in a 2000 dols condo with a 2021 benz costing you over 1500 in car note and insurance. After all you bills na 100 dols remain.

On a final note, these set of people complaining should relocate back to Nigeria or elsewhere and stop disturbing us. Mtcheeew

CountVersailles:
There have been one too many stories of loneliness and disillusion among many Nigerian immigrants in Canada. The story is usually that these people were once super excited as they left Nigeria, only to arrive in Canada and start feeling disillusioned after a few months. What exactly is responsible for this? I will tell you.

The first is too much expectation. Many of these people are just so full of expectation. They are like the proverbial virgin who has been looking forward to sex all her life only to experience it and see that nothing dey there. Too much expectation is not good in anything, least of all Canada. You want to emigrated permanently to Canada and you are already thinking about all the fun you will have that you never had in Nigeria. How is that even possible? How does a crocodile become an alligator simply because it swam to the far end of the pond? Haba! Make una dey cool down. You guys need to temper your expectation. Canada is not heaven, even though it is way better than Nigeria. There are challenges in Canada too like there are in every single country of the world. People are also poor and suffering. You can easily become one of them when you come here. Nothing says you will suddenly achieve all that lost potential from Nigeria. So, make una dey calm down. Canada is not heaven and never think that leaving Nigeria for Canada makes your challenges any less.

Having said that, it must be said that Canada is also way better than Nigeria and provides you more opportunity, especially in the area of work. THat’ what I will talk about next.

Many of these people who complain are also poor. They are often underemployed, having left their cushy jobs in Nigeria to come and be cleaning tables in Canada. But the problem here lies squarely with them. You find that many of them are absolutely unwilling to educate themselves or to upskill in a competitive society like Canada. They think their Nigerian experience and certificate is sufficient. While this is true in some cases, in many cases it’s not. Recruiters will overlook you once they see any element of Nigeria in your CV. But you can make it better. If you are a permanent resident, the country makes it very easy for you to acquire new skills. The only problem is that many of these people don’t even want to near school ever again. How do you expect to get a good job? If you can’t upskill, I’m sorry for you. You will spend a long time in that survival job.

Some of the skills that are so easy to gain these days are around business analysis, data science, or financial analysis. So easy to master these skills or get a Canadian certificate that will show that you know something. Of course, the certificate is not enough, you still need to study because recruiters will ask you questions on the subject and not on the certificate. But at least the certificate can get you the interview, then you can show your skills.

If you don’t want to upskill, so many handyman skills are out there in the country to gain and you can make as much as white collar people. But ask my naija people na, they don’t want to become plumbers or electricians.

Complaining gets you nowhere. The loneliness in Canada is adored by some because they can live their lives without intrusion. If the loneliness is getting to you, why not just go find a wife or boyfriend? Dating apps plenty. Men are always looking for women, and vice versa. If you talk to those people who are complaining, they are also the ones who don’t like dating app. They want to meet organically. Sorry, you go dey there long o.

The solution to all these problems are out there. But if you refuse to see and instead continue complaining, you will dey there and everybody will leave you go.

dre11:
The NDLEA denied concealing any assets seized from the convicts in an interview with PREMIUM TIMES on Friday.


https://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/top-news/569771-judge-reveals-how-ndlea-allegedly-concealed-assets-seized-from-jailed-drug-barons.html

Kewtt:
Came across this.... It's a real hustle out there

iLegendd:
Thank God he knows how to f*ck. The fastest way to get a woman addicted. He should just acquire a skill and leave fraud.

nlfpmod:


https://twitter.com/dunnia33/status/1601290881780264961?s=08

Toks2008:


When you bring your marital issues to a place like nairaland when over 90% of the members are teenagers and below 30...

Kobojunkie:
What ridiculous nonsense is this?

optm:
it's gonna take real patience to handle a cheating partner in marriage but then you do not know how long it's gonna take for the change you hope for, and then dealing with the baggages that comes with cheating.
I can only wish her well and hope it ends good for her

optm:
The comments from most men here are really disturbing. Why marry when you intend disrespecting the marriage by cheating? You not only disrespect your spouse but by that, you are breaking trust. Shame on the men that see nothing wrong in this. If reverse were the case, you would not advise in this manner.
Op truth is your husband has been a cheat before now and he would hardly change.
I do not know how you can get him to change except by strongly registering your displeasure and letting him know cheating is a deal breaker for you (if it is for you) and there would be consequences and part of which is you are willing to walk away from a union he doesn't respect (people are not really mindful when there are no dire consequences for their actions) or you decide save the marriage and live with it while keep praying for him to change.
You cannot change an adult unless they want to themselves.

cococandy:
lol

Kobojunkie:
Your husband is obviously a terrible liar. Dating apps are not for those who merely wish to socialize. Instead, they are for those looking for dates and hookups. That he spent time to complete sign-up on the app, even uploading his picture to booth, is more than enough confirmation that your husband is not as into you, and the marriage, as you seem to be.

Do not allow him gaslight you, assuming he hasn't already begun doing exactly that.

Salewabeau:
I hope I get the right reasons here than other channel here since this is the dating thread

My husband and I got married in 2021. He got a job in the UK middle of last year as a skilled worker. He was into tech before he left. Since then I've been the only one in the motherland while he consistently sent something home to cater for myself and rent. Plans are underway to join him as soon as I'm done with NYSC.

Last week, one of my friends in the UK hinted me about something that keeps giving me sleepless nights and terrible unrest. She's a student there and we went to secondary school together. She happened to see my hubby on a dating website. She sent me screenshot of his profile and my husband pictures are all there. Everything. She's on the dating app too.

I confronted my husband after several investigation of the geniuty of what I know. He only yield in after I sent him all evidence that I have. Now he tells me dating app is a norm in the UK and everyone is there. He said he's only there to socialize and meet people, especially Nigerian, but not for dating.

This has caused some issues between us as I wasn't really satisfied with this excuse. I'm tired of constantly thinking my husband is cheating on me.

I love my husband and he's the only man I've ever known.

1stGenAmerican:


And I can never forget when the rotund wife of another nation’s useless president ordered a person to be jailed just because he Tweeted the truth about her girth and didn’t let his eyes deceive him.

Teaser4:
Viktor Bout: Russian arms dealer known as the ‘Merchant of Death’ swapped for Brittney Griner



https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2022/12/08/americas/viktor-bout-profile-prisoner-swap-intl/index.html

1stGenAmerican:


G’bam! Truth! With the way you delivered that analysis, I seriously think you should add Life Coach to your repitoire. Women, at least American women, would pay for your coaching services. You are on the level of Dr. Phil (I love him)!

Ezeama400:
Again, Forbes Lists Nigeria’s Okonjo-Iweala, Mo Abudu Among 100 World’s Most Powerful Women



https://saharareporters.com/2022/12/08/again-forbes-lists-nigerias-okonjo-iweala-mo-abudu-among-100-worlds-most-powerful-women

1stGenAmerican:
This guy is only a part time boxer. He makes YouTube videos, is a baby daddy, and has been to jail.

mocochannel:
‘Soulmates,’ DJ Cuppy gushes over photos with fiancé

Celebrity disc jockey Florence Otedola, popularly known as DJ Cuppy, has shared photos of herself and fiancé, Ryan Taylor

Cuppy, who got engaged to the British boxer a few days after celebrating her 30th birthday, shared photos and a video via her Instagram page on Monday.

She captioned the photos,


https://www.instagram.com/p/ClyEfhupV-W/?igshid=YzdkMWQ2MWU=

mariahAngel:


From experience, roasted plantain goes well with grilled turkey.


You mean, eating it boiled unripe plantains whole with the peel? We're not goats, Mr Taikun.
I barely even enjoy eating unripe plantains, much less with the peel.


Those foods you stated really do smell good.

For me, I love the smell of bread baking, more than I love eating bread.

For cakes, it's the other way around. Especially chocolate cake.


Thank you, Mr Taikun

post=118997257:



It is always good and refreshing to see we still have reasonable, positive minded and sensible members like these people above on this forum.

Nigeria will be great in our lifetime whether the evil ones like it or not .
God bless all sane, honest and hardworking Nigerians.
God bless Nigeria.

We Rise.

SqueezeBugatti:
I was there yesterday, Wednesday, and I can tell you for free that there's nothing genuine about the whole exercise. Nothing was organised. No coordination. Nothing seems to work out well in Nigeria. And the cars available, are almost scraps. The good ones were already sold to their friends and cronies a day before the event. It was confirmed by some persons there. So, what happened was a charade sort of.

ElectroLyte:


https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02eJQQiUmfYcGY97BnP7sChoQxWmzg3R4Ya6DQuWE8vJc4CVhQecFX2fPruMQnsPkAl&id=100064596373289&mibextid=Nif5oz

otipoju:


If you like yourself you better invest at least two good years in yourself make you go school and get at least an associate degree in Information Technology with good IT certifications.

Why you go leave Nigeria come dey drive forklift for North America, when you can start earning at least 75,000 dollars per annum working from the comfort of your bedroom as an IT proffessional.

Do not limit yourself.