superCleanworks:
hmm
all this one sided, well polished, "i am the victim and he is the demon" kind of stories.
i read your first PUBLICATION last week or so.. and it had trouble maker, nagger, choker finger prints all over it but somehow you painted yourself so saintly without ever mentioning anything about your affection for your husband. it was all about you you you and and how his actions hurt you, all about you.
if only the man can come out to give his own side of the story but seems the mirror is totally broken already. Good luck with your new life.

There was no place I said he was the demon.
It is my narrative so it has to be narrated through my words,oga how would I know what he is feeling,I only know of his actions.
Did I not wrote that he said I hardly give him Peace? That is his words,so what do you want me to say.oh chim!

I am anything but a saint and if demanding answers from my "husband"means I nag and choke then so be it.

I called my husband and actually blasted him calling him a very big liar and how embarrassed I am.on Monday I left for the hospital he called and we discussed some business and the kids(I was actually not angry again knowing that he is no different from any other guy,if you see how he use to condemn cheating ehh....) Only for my mum to call me around 12 in the afternoon to ask me questions,my husband actually called my mum after I confronted him about what the girl said to tell her he is DONE with me,that I don't give him peace in the house that this and that.in summary calling the girl actually triggered divorce because I am ready for anything.

For those that are doubting that I am a woman,abeg I am.

I followed some lovely people advice and I have actually achieved alot of things this week

1i paid for driving lessons (he literally have to drive me everywhere or I take Uber)
2 I have dusted out my certificate and is seriously looking for jobs(I have contacted alot of outsourcing firms)
3 signed up for gym classes.

In a way I lost myself trying to be a good wife and mother that I literally drove away alot of my friends.i had to stop talking with a good olfriend of mine because my husband was chatting with her behind my back for long (this is one of the reasons I don't trust him)

Lots of information...

So what and what should I do to upgrade myself I have not work for a long time.

Cococandy
Double0h7
Mariangle
Saintmary

Biko toks2008 and baby123 make una leave my page even though I love baby123

Link to the first https://www.nairaland.com/6971181/husband-left-us

This week have been crazy, I took alot of advice from this page and was minding my business, I called him on Saturday to come pick the kids because I deserve rest, he said he would prefer coming to the house to see them, he came I cooked and we all ate around 5 he picked up some clothes and left.

He kept calling to talk about things in general and I was responding fine. My kids got sick on Sunday (night fever) and I spent all night tepid sponging and administering drugs.

On Sunday night, he went out with his infamous friend when I called him around 10 he was still out (something he hardly do) when he got back he called and we got talking one thing led to another and I still asked him about the text message and the girl as usual he kept on hammering on how he doesn't owe me any explanation. I told him that if he doesn't give me an explanation I would have to call the girl directly, he cut the call and I actually called her.

When I asked her where she went with my husband the lady told me that my husband saw that she was interested in tech event and took her there on that Saturday, he actually went to pick her up (lol).

I asked her how did she know everything about his business and why would she want to work for him for free, she said my husband normally come to his friends office and when he is not around he do strike up conversation with her and tell her all about his business and she was interested in growing it (lol).

She got very uncomfortable and started talking about how she is a minister in her church (I actually bursted out laughing at this point), she said a whole lot of things contradicting everything my husband told me, he was even talking with her since he left the house.

bluefilm:


Making those kites required a lot of skills and expertise.

If your kite is not properly made, it will not fly.

The best made kites are those ones that sail so high in the air as the flyer continues to release more and more thread.

Oh my Gawd... the 90s was so good!!!

You are right, sometimes I go home frustrated and crying because the kite didn't fly high and end up in poles...

bluefilm:


Which kites were you flying?

Is it the one made from newspapers? Or the ones made from waterproof?

Black waterproof nylon with brooms attached to both ends..

Kite flying,my tomboy was legendary,I will go barefooted to fly kite with the boys

Lalasticlala
Can u help close this thread, thankyou.

Does it need to be installed bby an installer or is it diy

I will watch!!!

Una don hijack my thread because of toks....lol

Next time he won't come with his polygamy nonsense again.

Thankyou all,will be updating this page as the drama continue or should I go to diary section.....

DuchessAmanda:

Stop this wickedness. Your quick judgements and conclusion is unnecessary. Have you heard the husband side of his story?
I am sure if it was the husband that made this complaint, you would still side with the wife without hearing her own side. I believe you will not practice what you are preaching here o. This isn't a case of domestic violence so stop with the condemnation and judgments till you hear the husband's side of the story too.

Should I send him a link to read through and tell his side of his story?

kowalsky:


Lol. I'm not in the mood for insults today so let's be civil.
Why should this woman 'fight' for her husband. Or better still if the roles were reversed will you be asking the man to 'fight' for his wife?

Is the husband a fool? Is he a kid? Why should it take a fight from his wife for him to see the grave damage he's dolling out to his family and children.

A man ups and leaves his matrimonial home and kids without explanation and all you patriacharl charlatants can say is for the victim to put in more effort to pacify the abuser.

Op, you're well within your rights to be suspicious of your husband and his new found apprentice, especially given the texts you've seen and his more than apparent gaslighting.
All that said, he can only do this to you and your kids because you gave him leverage to do so.

As someone before stated, its most likely you depend on this man for finance. He's not scared of what you will do because he knows you need him to survive. Really, most times this is the dynamic underlying most abusive relationships, overrelliance on one partner by the other, whether for emotional or financial support.

Do you want to continue letting this happen? Cos it's gonna keep happening whether you like it or not (and to your knowledge or not).

Don't be a slave to no man. Take charge of your life or this will be the beginning of unfanthomable disrespect that'll most likely usher you into the warm arms of depression.

Madam you are the only one that kind of hit closer to the truth.yo be truthful he is the only breadwinner,I can't seem to get a job at my present location,it is quite pitiful.
I have always suspected his arrogance stems from him being in charge of finance,I literally have to ask him for everything.

I have no one to complain to about it because everybody kind of rely on him to get one thing or the other,God forbid they make him angry by advicing him....lol.

Anyway regardless of finance I think I am still owed alot of explanations.

I am making alot of moves to be financially liberated,been taking alot of courses on tech.

Update

Thankyou all for your contribution

He is back to see the kids, he has been providing a d talking to his kids daily,I guess I am the only one he has a problem with

I will take a lot of advice into consideration,we have alot of intelligent people here.

I was just surprise that he would want to employ someone he have been having secret calls and meeting with and would be arrogant about it.

ojotobiloba1:

Are u suggesting she should fold her hand and do absolutely nothing

I will do something but only when he is ready for the truth,I can't live a lie and I hate lies with passion.

Echoban:


Auntie put a call to his parent or any elder he respect so much.

Forget the arguments with u, all is just to get u angered and use that as an avenue to Snick out to the comfort of that olosho. If they ask him why he left home now he LL say it's because ure making him uncomfortable with rant.

Na man Code. No mind am.
Chai why we men self dey like this

You are so right,when he called yesterday I asked him why he left literally wanted to spin it that I asked him to leave,I wasn't even in the same room when he packed his stuff and left.....lol

heniford2:
you used ur mouth push ur husband comot 4 hus naw ur telling us here abi to go find him 4 u again so u can start nagging 4ram wia u stop nii

depression most hit this dude badly that's his thinking if he marry a demon or a human woman no dey reason at all, e get easy and smart way to engage ur husband and her lover and ur home is secure, as u see the lady picture u 4 track her make her ur friend the piece the bitch in a process she will never notice ur coming b4 she understands the game u most have made her useless and home in other everything nobi gargar small sense no cost

You no just well.

socialmediaman:
I’m sure you know your husband more than anyone else here, but was it just the text message “what time are you leaving the house” and phone calls that you have as evidence? Anything else that indicates they’re in a romantic relationship? I don’t doubt that he could be in a romantic relationship but the only thing so far he has lied about is his communication history with the lady. If he deleted messages, he could’ve as well deleted phone calls, so I was expecting you found something more.

I’ll say give him a chance to explain his suspicious activities. Wait for him to come back, and probe further on the issue, find out why he lied about his communication with the lady. If he lied about that, he could be lying about other things, that’s your premise for further investigations, but you don’t have hard core or circumstantial proof of an affair yet.

BTW it might be a good time to remind him that the thing he’s looking for outside is inside his house and he has everything to lose by breaking his marriage vow. Hopefully you guys find a way to fix things not working out, seems you guys are having unresolved issues

He left the house immediately after the message by 8 after diligently washing the car by himself....lol
I don't have other evidence because I hardly look I just noticed he changed and was highly secretive while guarding his phone like Alcatraz....lol

Men hardly know what a determined would do to investigate a well guarded phone..lol

Mariangeles:


Do you know the lady?
Do you know where she stays?

No I don't. never had interest in her till he started hinting on employing her.

Beremx:
My Igbo people would say agaracha must come back. If you are strong hearted, don’t call to plead with him to call back. He will surely come back to his senses.
He wants to eat the leftover of his friend. Mtscheeew

No never,I am no fuul.
I told him that he must explain why a girl he deny talking with ever was sending him a message on when he is leaving the house at that time of the morning,if he likes he should stay away for a year.

[quote author=Klass99 post=109948582]

Ibechris, a grown man with all his thinking faculties in tact, decides on his own and by himself to step out on his wife, but the other woman is the one at fault? Did she put a gun to his head, to insist you must date/fucvk me? Life is truly about choices, I can't see how a man's choice to mess around, is someone else's fault.

As a single girl I get chased a lot by married men with no effort, jazz or seduction on my part. A lot of them behave like biitches in heat, who will quench if they don't get laid now, now, now. The lengths they are willing to go to, just to get laid is alarming. When it comes to breaking up marriages and tearing homes apart, your gender doesn't need any help at all. If I was a cruel and diabolical woman, a lot of them will suffer o.

What her husband is doing now, is it not the same thing the late Usifo Ataga did? Please where is Ataga now? There's no winning with you men o, no matter what a man decides to do, his wife still gets the blame. You have already told the OP if anything happens to her husband people will not speak well of her, is she supposed to physically tie him down at home to stop him from going out? Let's learn to hold people accountable and not put that responsibility on someone else.

Below is a post from May 2021, to reinforce my point about married men. Most of them see single women (if not all women sef) as their private playground where anything goes...

I wonder how I will fight for someone that willingly left because I kept asking questions....sighs

thorpido:
Your husband is trying to use reverse psychology on you.

He will come back when he is tired.When he comes back,still ask him to explain to you what is going on.

Lol I know just imagine a girl that wants to work for free and alone in the office with him(he doesn't have any other staff)

MufasaLion:
Your man is probably cheating and he's trying to manipulate you by leaving the house. I'd suggest you calm down because he's gonna come back home. When he's home, try and talk to him about your grievances.

His response will determine what you will do.

He hardly wants to have a conversation,he prefers leaving any place I am trying to have the conversation,this is the first time he left the house.he was such in a rage that I refuse him hiring the girl.

It is kind of surreal

My husband took his bag and left the house after an argument and have been gone for over a week now, trouble started when he came back and told me he wanted to hire a particular girl to work with him,this girl was working with his friend before he closed up.he told me his friend beg him to hire the girl.
Earlier in the week my husband told me he was going for a convention,I checked his phone and saw when this particular girl was asking him when he will be leaving the house at 7:44 in the morning,I didn't talk or made a fuss about it,so when he told me he wanted to employ this girl my suspicion grew,I asked him how does he want to pay her he told me the lady said she would work for free.
I started laughing,which girl on this island would want to work for free if you don't have anything to do with her.i started bombarding him with questions;
If the girl is your friend's employee how did she know about your business?My husband said he has not talked to the lady since last year but he never knew I saw the messages.

I told him to give me his phone only to see that he has been exchanging Whatsapp calls and phone calls with her.i got angry and was asking him questions he took his bag and left that night.

That was when I confronted him about the messages I saw the week before only for him to say he doesn't owe me any explanation.

I am deeply hurt that he would want to employ a person he has a secret relationship with and has the mind to tell me about it.he deletes any conversation he has with this lady,he hides his phone and would never pick a call in my presents.

Pls how do you think I should handle this,I told him the only way I would ever listen to him is if he tell me where he went with that lady on that Saturday. Calling her sounds desperate and I don't like fighting my fellow lady because of a man.your opinion pls