He’s ashamed and embarrassed that he could not fool you and has run away after being exposed. He obviously did not really rate your intelligence that you see through him, and you knew all the while he was lying. . let him stay where he is, before you guys get intimate again, ask him to do a full STD test in a government hospital with you present. He and his friend cannot be sleeping with and passing girls around only to come back to sleep with you.

Amazingbaby:
Update

Thankyou all for your contribution

He is back to see the kids, he has been providing a d talking to his kids daily,I guess I am the only one he has a problem with

I will take a lot of advice into consideration,we have alot of intelligent people here.

I was just surprise that he would want to employ someone he have been having secret calls and meeting with and would be arrogant about it.

He will finally drop you if you don't stop worrying him.

You can't stop a man who wants to taste another lady, just beg him to use protection... They always come back to their wives but if you stress him too much he will run far away from you.

This is a man in his 40s with good marital experience giving you a candid advise and not some naive nairalander.

It is up to you.

Amazingbaby:


Madam you are the only one that kind of hit closer to the truth.yo be truthful he is the only breadwinner,I can't seem to get a job at my present location,it is quite pitiful.
I have always suspected his arrogance stems from him being in charge of finance,I literally have to ask him for everything.

I have no one to complain to about it because everybody kind of rely on him to get one thing or the other,God forbid they make him angry by advicing him....lol.

Anyway regardless of finance I think I am still owed alot of explanations.

I am making alot of moves to be financially liberated,been taking alot of courses on tech.

This is how you people calls poverty and difficulty into the life of your husband. It has nothing to do with his financial support. Please, women learn not to send your husband to poverty with your mouth and thoughts. If your husband is cheating this mindset is a ground the devil will explore to fight his finances. Read the book the power of your subconscious mind.

Mariangeles:


If only it were that easy to let go.

@Amazingbaby, is your husband and marriage worth fighting for? Only you can tell.

No man is worth fighting for.....

ibechris:
Madam u see this fight is worth every stress.

Every married woman should fight for what belongs to them. Because this kind of woman is ready to tear your home apart and can do any thing possible to destroy good families out there.

As far as u are not ready to fight the lady,it is very good u fight to get your husband back,because as it is,your husband is about crossing to the other side. And do not also forget,that some of these ladies usually charmed married men and after which u see such men behaving like mumu and spending their life savings on such a LovePeddler.

Continue the fight after all,if anything happens to him tomorrow,people will not speak well of u. Now is the time to get your husband and his senses to order.

Good luck to u.

You're not serious

If the husband wants nothing to do with her anymore, it's game over. In fact, him entertaining another woman shows how much he disrespects and doesn't love his wife

She can fight all she wants. It won't change anything

Stop this wickedness. Your quick judgements and conclusion is unnecessary. Have you heard the husband side of his story?
I am sure if it was the husband that made this complaint, you would still side with the wife without hearing her own side. I believe you will not practice what you are preaching here o. This isn't a case of domestic violence so stop with the condemnation and judgments till you hear the husband's side of the story too.

Simran94:


What kind of a statement is this?
Is the man a kid or people who cheat on their partners are just Greedy and plain stupid.
A grown man abandoned his wife and children just to go after an harlot and the next thing is to blame the harlot? If truly she used kayamata and all to make him start acting like this, is it not if you enter into any sexual relationship with them that it would work?

You men need to start taking responsibilities for your irresponsible actions, always hurting women and your kids.

Now you want his wife to fight for someone who doesn’t want to be fought for? How?

Toks2008:


I dont blame you.

I blame those pastors lying to you ladies cos they dont want to lose their female members or is it the clueless relationship experts dishing out unrealistic advice.

Babe cry me a river if you like and mind you, i care less what you think about me.

You either accept this truth or continue to live a lie.

Marriage is not by force. Any lady who is not ready for the possibility of sharing her husband with another woman should remain single.

It is just that simple.

You no just get sense walahi, from your previous comment to this one, no atom of sense

A man that knows he cannot be faithful to one woman should make sure he tells whoever he wants to marry that he is a polygamous man, he should not deceive a woman into monogamy then come out later on in the marriage with the polygamous nature bullshit, any man that tries that should prepare for divorce or have it at the back of his mind that his wife is also cheating, it is that simple

If you like preach from now till oblivion, wives will continue to leave promiscuous, disease infested husbands because they have self respect, esteem, value their life and healthy living, accept this truth and rest.

Toks2008:


He will finally drop you if you don't stop worrying him.

You can't stop a man who wants to taste another lady, just beg him to use protection... They always come back to their wives but if you stress him too much he will run far away from you.

This is a man in his 40s with good marital experience giving you a candid advise and not some naive nairalander.

It is up to you.

See divorcee wey dey give advice, madam Op pls don't listen to this failed man,

Toks your words are very annoying and provoking, what is wrong with you?

DuchessAmanda:

Stop this wickedness. Your quick judgements and conclusion is unnecessary. Have you heard the husband side of his story?
I am sure if it was the husband that made this complaint, you would still side with the wife without hearing her own side. I believe you will not practice what you are preaching here o. This isn't a case of domestic violence so stop with the condemnation and judgments till you hear the husband's side of the story too.

Should I send him a link to read through and tell his side of his story?

Toks2008:


He will finally drop you if you don't stop worrying him.

You can't stop a man who wants to taste another lady, just beg him to use protection... They always come back to their wives but if you stress him too much he will run far away from you.

This is a man in his 40s with good marital experience giving you a candid advise and not some naive nairalander.

It is up to you.

Na lie. All your women have run from you. You are an angry divorcee. Anybody that takes your advice Na better one chance. Go for therapy and try to heal.

I stayed on the island briefly. I can relate....it will be very difficult for you to win this battle. If he doesn't date the girl another girl is in the corridor to take charge.


More girls are moving to island in hope to meet a married rich man.

DuchessAmanda:

Stop this wickedness. Your quick judgements and conclusion is unnecessary. Have you heard the husband side of his story?
I am sure if it was the husband that made this complaint, you would still side with the wife without hearing her own side. I believe you will not practice what you are preaching here o. This isn't a case of domestic violence so stop with the condemnation and judgments till you hear the husband's side of the story too.

Women rarely come here to complain, it’s always the men and the comment section insults the wives without hearing the other side of the story.

Hurting is not just about Physical, you can hurt someone emotionally too which in this case a cheating partner does to their other half.

Klass99:


You had me laughing out loud .

Truth is, when I saw the exchange last night these were my thoughts and what I wanted to say to Cococandy.........

Coco on the beats (I get rhymes sha ) I am besides myself with laughter right now and enjoying your drama.

The thing na turn by turn, e be like sey, e don reach your turn now. So, enjoy this season's drama

I got distracted by my favourite crime documentary "Deadly Affairs" but I was impressed with her mature handling of the situation.

You can stay away from NL for a week or month, not even visiting the site as a visitor. The moment you return, you are right back to the same toxicity and drama. Nothing changes!

I hope you are good though and 2022 is going well?

I was laughing when I made the mention. What won't one see on this forum?

A moving, beefing, paranoid fight waiting to happen. What energy. I couldn't resist calling out when I saw the same thing running its course again. The truest seasonal drama there is out here.

The maturity used to deal with that random negativity is truly impressive. Or maybe it's absolute astonishment at the sudden attack. Or knowing one is dealing with a homicidal character with a gun pointed at their own reflection. Shock, shock.

But come on, admit it —there's the occasional comedy in the unchangeable toxicity. Behold.

2022 is going well if there's comedy to be found on this forum. I hope your year is kicking off just right?

Amazingbaby:


Should I send him a link to read through and tell his side of his story?

Please do. Only then we advice fairly

pocohantas:


I understand you. The forum can make someone paranoid, but just be calming down you hear?

Okay. Thanks.

BRATISLAVA:



Klass99 mustn't miss this one.

Does that character fight everyone or just females?

Excuse you!?

Klass99:


You had me laughing out loud .

Truth is, when I saw the exchange last night these were my thoughts and what I wanted to say to Cococandy.........

Coco on the beats (I get rhymes sha ) I am besides myself with laughter right now and enjoying your drama.

The thing na turn by turn, e be like sey, e don reach your turn now. So, enjoy this season's drama

I got distracted by my favourite crime documentary "Deadly Affairs" but I was impressed with her mature handling of the situation.

You can stay away from NL for a week or month, not even visiting the site as a visitor. The moment you return, you are right back to the same toxicity and drama. Nothing changes!

I hope you are good though and 2022 is going well?

Point of correction; there was no exchange!
Just a simple request.


Pocohantas, I know say she be your friend!
Abeg!Help me tell am to stay off my case!
How many times I go ask her?

both of you dont have a family member abi

.

BRATISLAVA:


I was laughing when I made the mention. What won't one see on this forum?

A moving, beefing, paranoid fight waiting to happen. What energy. I couldn't resist calling out when I saw the same thing running its course again. The truest seasonal drama there is out here.

The maturity used to deal with that random negativity is truly impressive. Or maybe it's absolute astonishment at the sudden attack. Or knowing one is dealing with a homicidal character with a gun pointed at their own reflection. Shock, shock.

But come on, admit it —there's the occasional comedy in the unchangeable toxicity. Behold.

2022 is going well if there's comedy to be found on this forum. I hope your year is kicking off just right?

Is that what you do?

I mean, for that thought to even come to you says a lot about your mental state don’t you think? Who could’ve ever thought?
Our words define our state of mind, you know?

One day you say you’re one of the good guys who don’t cheat (meaning you acknowledge that cheating is bad) then the next day you’re saying cheating is inevitable thereby justifying it.
So which is which?

Toks2008:


I dont blame you.

I blame those pastors lying to you ladies cos they dont want to lose their female members or is it the clueless relationship experts dishing out unrealistic advice.

Babe cry me a river if you like and mind you, i care less what you think about me.

You either accept this truth or continue to live a lie.

Marriage is not by force. Any lady who is not ready for the possibility of sharing her husband with another woman should remain single.

It is just that simple.

Amazingbaby:
It is kind of surreal

My husband took his bag and left the house after an argument and have been gone for over a week now, trouble started when he came back and told me he wanted to hire a particular girl to work with him,this girl was working with his friend before he closed up.he told me his friend beg him to hire the girl.
Earlier in the week my husband told me he was going for a convention,I checked his phone and saw when this particular girl was asking him when he will be leaving the house at 7:44 in the morning,I didn't talk or made a fuss about it,so when he told me he wanted to employ this girl my suspicion grew,I asked him how does he want to pay her he told me the lady said she would work for free.
I started laughing,which girl on this island would want to work for free if you don't have anything to do with her.i started bombarding him with questions;
If the girl is your friend's employee how did she know about your business?My husband said he has not talked to the lady since last year but he never knew I saw the messages.

I told him to give me his phone only to see that he has been exchanging Whatsapp calls and phone calls with her.i got angry and was asking him questions he took his bag and left that night.

That was when I confronted him about the messages I saw the week before only for him to say he doesn't owe me any explanation.

I am deeply hurt that he would want to employ a person he has a secret relationship with and has the mind to tell me about it.he deletes any conversation he has with this lady,he hides his phone and would never pick a call in my presents.

Pls how do you think I should handle this,I told him the only way I would ever listen to him is if he tell me where he went with that lady on that Saturday. Calling her sounds desperate and I don't like fighting my fellow lady because of a man.your opinion pls

Worry less and cheat back... you will be fine abi you wan die early for nothing.

Klass99:




At the bolded, yeah there's comedy here but it's nice and fun, when it's coming from a place of friendly banter and not malice, perceived slights, paranoia or personal vendettas.

As I grow older each day, I don't have the stomach for toxic people and environments. Which is why I am minimizing my use of NL, there's just too much of it here.

I'll rather catch good comedy through TV shows like my wife & kids, cartoons, witty people etc. My year is going well so far, I'm being cautiously reckless this year with my dreams and hoping for the best.

It's always a pleasure engaging with you

Very true.

The forum is best enjoyed once in a while. It is quite toxic and mindsets aren't going to change. Perhaps people delight in being unchangeably toxic as a means to retain their identity in the midst of so many, however negative it might be.

Of course, there is the clean fun to enjoy, and then there's the obstreperous comedy sort of today. One can't begrudge something like that. Comedy is comedy.

That said, the forum is too little for users to go aggro on everyone and everything in sight at the drop of a pin.

Hmm. This cautious recklessness is a new philosophy you must coin officially when you are ready to tell us more about it on a daytime chat show. But if such recklessness (cautiously) brings about happiness, why not?

Same here, Klass.

Op, I hope you see this.

I do not believe in 'fight for your marriage', especially if another woman is involved.

I believe in 'do YOU want to remain married or remain happy?'. Take care of your mental health. Your husband has found happiness in the arms of another woman (his mental health-happinnes). What are you doing to your mental health in this situation? Looking to be depressed by dwelling on the matter?

Even God, the bible says 'no one can come to me except the father draws (drags) him.' God will literally do a convincing before anyone can come to him? Yes!

No amount of 'fight' will make a man change his mind. He has to make the decision himself.

Sister! Go about your business like all is well (I know it's difficult). Don't consider revenge, that one, na yourself you dey do.

If he still picks calls and you guys have a routine, like you guys talk once a day, call as usual but avoid questions about where he is or what he is doing. Discuss other beautiful things and end the call.

Wake up. Go to work. Do not let thoughts of him deprive you of happiness.

He will come home when he is convinced.
NO FIGHT FOR MAN, FIGHT FOR A HEALTHY MENTAL STATE. (Fight to remain happy).

Amazingbaby:
It is kind of surreal

My husband took his bag and left the house after an argument and have been gone for over a week now, trouble started when he came back and told me he wanted to hire a particular girl to work with him,this girl was working with his friend before he closed up.he told me his friend beg him to hire the girl.
Earlier in the week my husband told me he was going for a convention,I checked his phone and saw when this particular girl was asking him when he will be leaving the house at 7:44 in the morning,I didn't talk or made a fuss about it,so when he told me he wanted to employ this girl my suspicion grew,I asked him how does he want to pay her he told me the lady said she would work for free.
I started laughing,which girl on this island would want to work for free if you don't have anything to do with her.i started bombarding him with questions;
If the girl is your friend's employee how did she know about your business?My husband said he has not talked to the lady since last year but he never knew I saw the messages.

I told him to give me his phone only to see that he has been exchanging Whatsapp calls and phone calls with her.i got angry and was asking him questions he took his bag and left that night.

That was when I confronted him about the messages I saw the week before only for him to say he doesn't owe me any explanation.

I am deeply hurt that he would want to employ a person he has a secret relationship with and has the mind to tell me about it.he deletes any conversation he has with this lady,he hides his phone and would never pick a call in my presents.

Pls how do you think I should handle this,I told him the only way I would ever listen to him is if he tell me where he went with that lady on that Saturday. Calling her sounds desperate and I don't like fighting my fellow lady because of a man.your opinion pls

divorce him. I just hope you work and earn a living.. this is why I want women to be empowered. They should have jobs,business so as if man bleeps up, just distance yourself from him.
If you accept him, he will continue this behavior.

.

Klass99:


At the first bolded, you are absolutely right!

Second bolded, just means I am taking risks worth taking and no longer playing it safe when it comes to my career, health and relationships etc.

Sometimes we need to step out and shun our fears while relying on the known unknown. Good luck to you.

If you do, it will be helpful to those NLs that needs to see there are 3 sides to the complete truth. Yours, your hubby, and the truth. I am not one of those women that jump into conclusions without proper consideration. Handle your home with wisdom. He is your husband not your boyfriend. Don't let your home be at the mercy of some people here who don't care what happens to you either ways. Wishing you both Happiness.

Amazingbaby:


Should I send him a link to read through and tell his side of his story?

.

Nonexisting:
Kayamata is already working on him. Be there forming gentle woman and watch your husband gone for good, no be Island girls wey I know. If you know the olosho, better go and confront her. He is your husband, not your boyfriend.

May we not walk into the lion's den.

To confront her might not always work out well. If the girl attacks her nko? It would be self defense at her home base. If she attacks the girl, it would unprovoked assault on an away team. There is no guarantee how a confrontation will end. The girl might even have her pals around to show madam a lesson or two. Not a step to take atall.

Oga's friend that employed the girl might be the person to talk to. He will know how to dissuade either oga or the lady involved.

P.S @Amazingbaby, ensure oga goes for STD test. Once is enough to catch powerful things. Also, stop trying to ask him questions you will bring up an issue over the answer. It makes one look like a troublemaker looking for an excuse.

Wishing you well - Teemy

heniford2:
you used ur mouth push ur husband comot 4 hus naw ur telling us here abi to go find him 4 u again so u can start nagging 4ram wia u stop nii

depression most hit this dude badly that's his thinking if he marry a demon or a human woman no dey reason at all, e get easy and smart way to engage ur husband and her lover and ur home is secure, as u see the lady picture u 4 track her make her ur friend the piece the bitch in a process she will never notice ur coming b4 she understands the game u most have made her useless and home in other everything nobi gargar small sense no cost

Can you please rephrase this please? Coz can't seem to understand a bit of it.

Go and pray because it worked for my wife ,...he is confused ,...