Yes.

InTheCloudySky:
He's still cheating and is hiding something. There's no debate there. The man will not change; what you're doing now is managing him. Idk what else to tell you.

My dear na Nigeria marriage be that,manage so far there is no domestic violence.

Beremx:
She no beg you to read and react to her story. Why are you venting your anger on her? Calm down abeg!!

Madam Op, if you don’t wanna have high blood pressure, stop worrying about your husband’s phone. I am sure he doesn’t worry about yours too.

I can’t remember the last time I went through my husband’s phone sef. It’s been years. The last time I did, I saw what I didn’t wanna see and he had a lot of explanations to do and that was it.

I don't check his phone,but now I am uncomfortable when I come into a room and he immediately reach for his phone,the other day he was sleeping and used his elbow to hold down his phone,who does that.now I am very curious....

neonly:



It might not be cheating maybe they just pay some money and see don't want her to see his expenditure etc
Not everything be cheatingv
Me my wife doesn't check my phone and an always with it even though I going to d toilet best reason know to me nepa fit take light it becomes an Emangency light until we see the touch

You are right in a way,,hubby don't joke with his money and statement of account but this time around it is just something else.

Zonefree:

Just shut up!

You're not the only married woman here. Stop creating unnecessary threads just to be noticed.

Hello seun I think we are due for a block option.
I don't see how a man is about to have an aneurysm about my post? Like how? The place my thread is occupying do you need it for something? So what is the issue? Alot of people come here for insight on how to handle things so what is wrong with mine? Are you the mod that check how many topics is enough to post?

Pls and pls if you are a mod and the topic is irritating you then remove it,if not,get ready to Pop a vein because I will never remove it.thankyou

Zonefree:
Madam, you're not the only married woman here! You're becoming boring with this your husband and his wahala. Get a life please!

My job is not to wake up and entertain you,i don't see why you will be getting bored on things that are not meant to entertain,don't u think is a mental disorder?watch a movie or something please.

I don come again

If you have been following my post you will understand...

What I am dealing with now is how sneaky husband man is with his phone,ever since he came back his phone is attached to his body and it is making me uncomfortable,this man might be going down the stairs but immediately he remembers his phone the kind of speed he will use to come for it is alarming,he is bathing his phone is near,once he sees me coming he unconsciously reach for his phone,it is quite crazy.....

The incident that happened this morning,we were going out together,so the fuel gallon at the back tumbled at the booth,he stopped reach for his phone that was beside him to go keep the gallon right,when he came back I asked why would he do that,why do you need your phone to go keep the gallon right,as usual he started saying nonsense,I just kept quiet.

This behavior is making me uncomfortable,I don't check his phone,I only did that day because of how he was acting and I actually saw why,how do present this topic without causing quarelll,I sometimes leave a room once I see is phone to avoid someone killing himself while running to get his phone... marriage ehhh

The Ukrainian government should ban women single women or women with kids above 18 from running away too,the others should run to safety with the kids and leave the father to fight

I can't believe that a wicked mod block me since last week, nairaland can put someone into temptation.dairy from now on.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....I don dey suspect say na fake but I dey enjoy am.

I am not fake,I have a very old acc here,very active and I have patronize alot of people here so I want to remain anonymous,I don't need their sorry ma sorry ma....lol

Hightser:


You both decided you stay at home, stay at home and not go to the gym or learn driving, can't you stay at home and have business you monitor, even online business? please I'm not your problem, face what's facing you.

You decided to face my problem and that is why I am noticing you,do you think everybody have the zeal for buisness,you just talk like someone that smoke loud for breakfast.i seriously don't need this.dont mention me again.thankyou.

salt1:


I gave a wife exactly this advice but it's still not working. Instead, the husband is using the divorce threat to terrorize her life more frequently than before. He even makes it more traumatic by throwing her things out of the house occasionally and ordering her to leave with her children.
If the man has fully decided to get rid of her and try out with another girl, even her trying to be nice to him will be irritating to him.

I know a wife that lost her marriage for being too submissive and caring. Instead of enjoying the peace, the man was irritated by the attention she was paying him.

OP, please ignore him, find joy in yourself and your children. Carry yourself with dignity. YOU MUST TALK THROUGH THIS if the relationship is to last. Begging and burying misunderstanding of this nature just means that they will keep resurfacing and he will keep using the weapon of desertion, divorce and abandonment to keep you vulnerable and insecure. What is preferable is a healthy marriage, not just a long marriage.

You understand me quite well, begging is not a big deal I have live with him since 2010 what if I beg and I have to tip toe on our marriage for me not to trigger him to leaving again,once men see your fear they will try to use it to their advantage.i just saw my self begging for ever and I am already tired.what stop him from leaving the next time and wait for me to beg....I am so exhausted.

Hightser:



It’s funny how you want to get a job now, learn driving and go to the gym cause divorce is around the corner, what stopped you from doing any of this all this while? This is actually what it means to be a good wife, having a job, taking care of your shape and doing things for yourself.

Imagine the different times your husband, even if he was tired would have to drive you cause you don’t know how to drive, imagine how much weight and pot belly you have developed all along and it’s now you want to visit the gym, imagine you have been jobless and contribute little or nothing economically to the marriage since.

And you call all of the above being a good wife?what excuse do you have as why you didn’t do these things since? The children? Are the children all dead now? You cook and clean the house? Won’t the house be cleaned now?

This is the problem in marriages, women lazy around and allow the man labor to death, when you say jack they remind you about house chores, most of them start looking for jobs to cater for their kids when the man suddenly stops breathing (dead)

If you had a job, went to the gym and could drive yourself all this while, I don’t think you would even have the time to monitor your husbands movement. If you did, maybe now you will be talking about expanding your business or investment, not do what you should have done years ago, you are looking for a job? Who employs an old fat lazy lady that can’t even write a coherent story to manage his business?

Do you feel better now? I guess you were looking at your wife or mum while writing what you wrote because that is an apt description for them.that we decided that I stay home with the kids is how it works in a lot of homes.anyway why am I wasting time with you.

seanwilliam:
Well from the write up , it’s very glaring that the op is a nagging type of wife, she never pointed out one good thing the husband has done for her, she’s a controlling , demanding and troublesome wife whom I pray against in my life., y’all can see how she attacked comments that didn’t massage her ego.. a very selfish woman ! Spit!

If you create a thread about good things husband are doing trust me I will list,I never said he is evil or wicked,why generalize? I am talking about an incident that is breaking us up...where In this incident should I put how good he is? I talked about how he takes care of the kids .oh chim oooo

Crummy:
Amazingbaby I have read both threads and sincerely hope you would listen to what I have to say.

1) it would shock you, but I don't think your husband is cheating on you with that girl you are suspecting, though he might be cheating with other girls but not that one.

2) your husband admires that girl, I think he find her easy to talk to and he connects with her. That's why he was always talking about his business to her at his friends place. You don't communicate well with your husband

3) you deserve an explanation from your husband, but not probably the way you ask right now, men are the easiest people to get if you know their password

4) I think you are paranoid and that is because u don't have much on your hands, once u get a job and something you are passionate with, you won't have much time for unfounded allegations.

5) not giving peace in the home is a thing, a husband should not feel bad whenever he is going home to his family, his house should feel like a home not a battlefield, it's not everything you fight about.. and before you demand transparency,ensure that you yourself is transparent.

6) your husband probably doesn't feel loved or respected in his home,it your duty as a wife to do that no matter what anyone says,why marry someone you cannot love or respect? I think he leaving home for you is for u to come to your senses and beg him...

7) you should apologize for your behaviour, promise to change, listen to him and care for him and see if he would still behave the way he is.. please don't give up on your marriage, I really don't think that girl is cheating with your husband,for her to mention she is a minister and answer your questions well she is not a demon,if u meet ladies ready to snatch your husband you sef go fear.

your husband would change once he sees genuine change and trust, it's obvious u don't trust him and it's understandable considering what he did with your friend,but u have to make your marriage work..no fun in divorce....

Thanks..

Wow wow wow
Are you my mum? Because she said all this to me,I am suspicious AGAIN......lol

Thank you

Pls postman and brastlavia stop na,biko

Enemyofpeace:
It serves you right, shebi I told you to start having extra marital affair with me, you dey do yanga, you were forming for me

Your name is literally enemy of peace.....hahahahaha.god forbid

Idaytesj29:


OP amazingbaby

Now I feel like crying. You don't sound like a troublesome woman. You come off as dedicated lovely wife. Whatever made your husband chase that lady is not important now but the safety of the marriage.

Before you finally sign any divorce papers, I advise that you call a joint family meeting of both your family and his. Narrate everything that happened, thank God, women are naturally detailed. Explain how he wanted to date your best friend and how this happened.

Let them know you did not pack out of the house, he did for weeks and he demanded for divorce himself, not you cos you demanded an explanation to from him over the matter.

Let them know under normal circumstance, you do not like to be divorced, and while you are not desperate to resolve without him admitting his wrong doings and ready to be accountable for his actions going forward, you are still open for reconciliation right now before your mind moves on.

I believe in that sober moment, a lot can change and it had worked for many couple, it may work for you.


With all the new resolutions you just made, kindly follow through with them, even if a reconciliation happens.

I don't know how to send a WhatsApp group contact to you where various jobs and vacancies majorly in Lagos and few other places are advertised daily, I would have loved to help you with that.

Just my own 2kobo

Pls can I message you about the WhatsApp group?

eniolorunfe:
From this your update, it doesn’t seem like you have been minding your business ooo and taking the advice you were given in your previous thread fully.

Don’t go and spoil a good thing (didn’t say perfect because there is a difference) because of your inability to master your emotions.

Self development is good but you don’t have to lose your marriage before you develop yourself.

I am,but he keeps calling me acting as if everything is alright,does he have partial amnesia,I prefer tackling things straight up than pretending.it is one of my flaws

My self development is coming from ignoring myself for a long time,this situation might be a catalyst but I haven't been feeling fulfilled for long.

gift0123:
I can see you are a nagging woman, and you don't give that man peace of mind...
Go and sort out your marital issues abeg.

Are you female or you identify as a female because I don't understand.

superCleanworks:

Okay thanks

superCleanworks:


yes i read every word right from your first post and i am not surprised that your husband will say such because that is what your whole story smells of.

of course you said it all. he is the bad guy that packed his bags and abandoned his family. just like that. you chose the perfect word to make the world see what a bad person he is and emotional fools like BRATISLAVA have already swallowed it wholesale.


here you go again with your emotional sinker.

good luck

Are you for real? What do you want me to say, should I have lied that he is home when he is not? Abandon his family? I never said anything like that Am I dealing with an insane person on nairaland?
I hate pity that is why I warned my mum never to tell my siblings or anyone,why then would I need nairalnds pity?

Biko I need practical opinion on how to move forward.avoid me.