₦airaland Forum

kaecy5:
sorry if u think i called u Jezebel i was trying to see how does he see you, probably you are not one,

sorry did not mean to call you names

apology accepted.

fine.boy:
Hold it there. Why we nigerians always take insult to another level. Well as i was strolling by to planet 9. I sow the guy naking is head on his pellow. For a great mistake he has made. There must be something attach to it. We must leave the rest to u so let turn down this tread.

you are one funny guy.

CHAIRMAN1:
come on to me i give u what u he couldnt even give you(D Coco)
[b]i'm in south yorkshire- 075588666419([/b]my no)

na wa oh.

kaecy5:
i agree i am unintelligent no problem, i was trying to see how you react and so far u have proven me right.
sit back and re analyse the situation what would you have done differently
then walk to his house and face him directly.

okay sir. thank u
you want to see how i will react to calling me nasty names such as jezebel?   
are you happy with my reaction?

kaecy, why all the name calling? i have said it as it happened. . all that epistle for me? you are obviously highly unintelligent. you need to re-read all my posts.

meanwhile, if you do not believe me, you can go hang. after all, i am the one hurting, not you

fine.boy:
Have u done what i told u? Called him with a private number. Or send sms. T[b]here is some thing i really need to tell u. Very important. your 2mins attention is needed. Or baby i'm wet and feelin cold, your girl is shovin only your voice can cool it down. Plz luv, i expecting your call before comitin sucide. your attn is needed here. Luv u till i die[/b]

funny post. made me laugh so much so for a change. thank you.
i cannot text him that oh. sounds rather childish to me. besides, i don send the one wey pass that one and he didnt budge. in one of the texts i sent to him, i referred to him as 'daddy' and he should have mercy on his daughter
(i have never been so humilated in my life.) . . . still, no word from him

i have called him a few times with private number. he didnt pick up either. not surprising though. i have known him not to answer private number calls

hcl_acid:
@poster
no matter what u did, as a man i'd say that u have done your par[/b]t. try to get involved in other things, i really know how it is when you are in place not that is not your homeland but try going out with friends and i must tell you that there are good places in europe to visit alone without anybody accompanying you, i bet that you'd be better in a short time without all the trouble even though loving him can't burn off easily. [b]i just hope your love for him won't be dead when he comes back to his senses because you as a woman have got what is called SELF-ESTEEM.  

thank you

macfarland:
@Poster
I have been following your comments from the beginning of your post. You no doubt appears to be a very intelligent and a smart person even smarter than your guy, lol If this incident occured just as you have said it and not a kind of compisition or make believe stuff from you, then I will say that it has not gotten to the level where you cant handle it. You are still emotionally bouyant and has got all the pragmatism to deal with the situation judging from your smart two-to-beat-one touch responses on this tread.

Thanks for the nice words.
This is not a make-believe story

macfarland:
d but only text message once in a while saying 'Baby dont bother I will call you' and it went like that for 4 months. Your case is a bit different that you guys see each other almost everyday and d highest you have stay apart is 12 hours. I guess u know his house or where he stays or works, (since you have made us believe u dont live in the same roof) go there and meet him face to face and call him by this first name and tell him a piece of your mind on top of your voice. Then fall into his arms and ask him to speak to you. Drag him to the corner of d sofa and size him up.

We live in separate countries

i hopes he has a change in heart soon and calls me.

for those saying i should call or text him, truth is, i cant bring myself to do it. i am exhausted mentally and physically. i have been thinking and brooding . . . little sleep, little food.

it is affecting me so much psychologically knowing that i send texts to him, he reads them, probably smiles or laughs and then bothers not to respond or ring back. Around midnight, he switches off the phone, i leave countless voicemail messages (crying my heart out), obviously he listens to them, and yet he is not ready to make peace

maybe i should not have involved third parties but i was sooo confused and i had nobody around me here to talk to. Only choice left was to call nigeria

fine, he might say he is punishing me . . . for being unnecessarily suspicious of him (do not blame me, he caused it) , but he should know where to draw the line

queen01:
the only thing i wanna see now is: he has called or we're back together.

honestly it as if am readin a romantic novel, but i really feel your pain my dear, just stop all the callin n begging suff, he will soon come back,

cant wait to read from u, UPDATE!!!!!

Update: not a word yet from him

Even if I am the worlds most wanted criminal, he should at least call and tell me what my crime is.

tems777:
thanks jare @iykedare. the annoying part is that he might be giving up a very good guy for da playas in London just because she no fit beg.
[b] my dear beg now.[\b]  He will beg you some other times. You have to have WISDOM because it is a principal thing.
A word they say,

Aunty, keep begging?
Please read all my posts. I have begged and begged. Have you ever tried calling someone from 8am to midnight? You have no idea what it does to an individual psycologically

dramaquin:
hmmm please dnt let anythin affect u to this point ever again!try to be in full control of your emotions(esp your happiness)
one single person shldnt have so much power over u!
anyway i think u shld also ignore him, u've tried your best, since u say he also loves u then he'll come bac to u if he wants to.
try to distract urself,take your mind off d whole issue,make urself happy!
all these things av said will be oh so difficult bt am tellin u, u will mosdef survive it!

if i get over this, i have learnt a very valuable lesson that i am going to hold on to.

maybe he never fully knew how much i was into him, but i did try my very best to let him know that i was madly in love with him.

on his first visit to see me here, i knelt down with my two knees on the floor at heathrow airport . . . . yes, jampacked heathrow, in appreciation of all he has done for me.

i have been loving, faithful, caring,  respectful to him and excellent in the bedroom as well.

really, am confused.

ganiyu az:
seconded

mister, read the entire thread

i should keep crying him a river until i get myself into the emergency ward right?
i have cried my eyes out and i am exhausted.

iykedare:
[size=16pt]@poster,

like i said,cry the guy a river then u`ll be okay.

quite frankly,u didnt tell us exactly what u did.u have `bobod` us with your own side of the story.since we cant get his,we cant advice u.some girls would tell whoever wants to listen dat their guys did this and dat but when u actually get to know what they too did,u`ll want to slap them.for all those pple who are trying to convince her dat the guy is not worth it,never side a person after listening to just her side of d story.[/size]

you really should read my previous posts before making uninformed posts on this thread.

pinky lady:
i can only imagine wat u are goin through, uhm its a pity.

but why on earth would his mother use such harsh words on you.

just try and get over it, cos it will soon pass away

as a matter of fact, she ended up added more pepper to my broken heart.

after the harsh words and questions from her (in my crying state), i called her again to please help me talk to the son. this time around she started laughing at me over the phone. I am not joking. I quickly said goodbye and i hung up. i was deeply hurt. that night i cried and cried and cried and cried. i took and respected his mum like my own mum and getting such reaction from her, i was perplexed

and to add extra pepper on the injury, with the humiliation from his mum, her son is yet to call me.

stankion:
This issue should not be over-flogged, the whole thing depends on what u did, no sin is unforgivable, not even with God. U actually need to cry cos u love him, after that u will be ok and maybe cry once in a whilke but not for ever. Just give him some time, he is going to come around, but if he does'nt, move on with your life. Nobody is tired to the other in this life. Who knows, maybe God is telling something. I have dis experience, dats why am saying dis. Try and listen to GOd's voice if u can concentrate, u have a whole good life ahead of u. Take care and pray fervently for GOd to show u his mind in dis mata. Apart from that, RELAX!

Okay. Thanks a lot.

ferdiii:
Another definition by women. So if the guy stays away for a while to rediscover himself, it hurts you people. Guys employ this method oh, I have been using it.My woman last week saw me with another woman, she just flared up and I let her go. Now she is smsing me here and there, abeg it is over now abi. I even let the other go. Am babeless now and I think straight now on. Women are what I can't call a name- help them, you're in for troubles, not go deep u don't love them. Imagine money spent to bring her over to Europe! You do a very big favor, they hold you to ransom, thinking nothing they will do, that will turn u off.Am happy the guy is not the woman-battering type but calling him someone without human sympathy, well I was called a mad man, an animal this morning. She has been with a mad man all these while!

your babe called you a mad man i have never used such words on my bf before!

who is holding him ransom? you should read up the entire thread. even back in naija, when he annoys me, i do not hide it. why should i now because he has brought me to europe ignore his harsh words at me and smile and pretend to be happy?

Nezan:
@ OP; What was the disagreement? I believe you really hurt the man and he saw you as been unworthy of a wife material.

And who ever said he is a husband percent worthy husband material? please leave ,marriage out of this.

keeping malice solves nothing. i have never forced myself on him and i will never. if he calls and says it over, na to move own !

he knows my worth and i keep saying it that my good sides outweigh my bad. He get him own too for body.

anyway, if he has suddenly thought of me in such light, too bad ! His loss, another man's gain !

Foster cat:
@ Poster

i have read all your post.u kip sayin u begged n cry,thats all.do not listen to bad advice.your guy is hurt, give .him tyme, he definately ll come back i tell u, For a guy to take u away frm Nija,he really loves u.Dont be to emotional n dont think u r cheap ,still continue to txt n call him n u ll be glad u did

mean while, have u been prayin over this promblem.Turn to God in Prayers n u ll see wonders.Remember there might be some evil hands, *a guy with so many ladies around still thinks of u n brings u to the EU?*then he is not joking.Be srtong pray n still call him,he ll respond.i know hw u feel n i will b prayin for u too.it well.your love ll surely come back to u.Claim by faith n it will come to pass.

Stay happy n blessed,

Thank you.
Truth is i dont have the strength to make any more calls. I have not dialed his number in 3 days now and i think its best it stays that way. I know myself. Once i call him once and he does not respond, i will get all worked up again, start crying and calling him endlessly. I was not exaggerating when i said i have called him once from 8am to midnight.

My naija friends are really propagating the juju factor. that there must be some spiritual forces at work trying to split us. I dont want to believe this though.

I have left everything to God's hands. He knows and He will do what is best for me.

dakkylove:
you know when i first read this post my first reaction was to go at you for crying your eyes out over a situation like this, but from reading all your messages,you're obviously in love and hurt with his attitude and what you're looking for is some kind of closure. some kind of explanation for his behaviour. this particular situation happened to me recently but i didn't even think twice before moving on. but that is me,and i probably was not as in love with my Bf as you obviously are.
my advice to you is this, do you have friends in Europe? if you have friends go hang out with them, keep yourself occupied, for his mum to make that kind of comment, well my dear try and be strong, who knows he might even be more attracted to a stronger you, and if he doesn't come back, the next guy will appreciate a kind,caring,loyal and now strong woman that you will become.

yes, i am very hurt.
i have very few friends but i am just not keen on going visiting

mccloud224:
What was the cause of the argument anyways?

please, read previous pages of the thread

blapo:
"Women are like teabags; you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water". just hold on and don't complicate matter for urself, lets see how strong u are

ok oh. i am holding on.
Day two: of no crying

azpunpin:
@amhurting

Give him sometime has he said, he will surely come back begging. Please, don`t do anything stupid by breaking up, he loves u so much.

I hope so too.

I do not sleep more than 2 hours daily.
End result = banging headache, bulging eyeballs and a sad look on my face.

Jeff hands:
Swt hrt.it so painful, but your guy is about fallen out of love with you.so if you really want dis guy start praying nd fasting.


Ask him if he still love you

I have always thanked God for my bf, i always prayed to God to keep blessing him.

I did not pray and fast before God brought him my way. If i start praying and fasting now because of this issue, even God will accuse me of acting rather desperate.

samnaija:
@poster i think its all over. with what u said, the guy spent heavily 2 bring u over. 4 a guy frm naija 2 bring a chick to jan. that means na 2 marry (honestly speakin). [b]but along the line u must have said or done somethin that made the guy think about the relationship.2 be honest the guy must have seen somethin he did not know was inside u. [/b]this days women and men con them selfs into marriage. its probably u let your guard down when your were relaxed with him and displayed a part of u he did not like and made him ve a rethink, it happens both ways .it almost happen 2 me i almost married a nagging and abusive woman, thank God for the couthship period, when i started hinting marriage towards her, her whole character changed. from a cool headed and polite easy going person, to a (shant gree _debating  international champion, nagging and complaining and tryin 2 control me and even the air i breathe. i moved on and found a better partner,  my pont is the guy is hurt,

I do not agree with you there. I wont claim to be perfect, i do have my faults but i know my good parts far outweigh all my faults. And he knows this.

Like i mentioned earlier, the lies he told me made me to be quite cautious of him. as a matter of fact, if i say the things i got to know, most people will ask me to drop him like a hot potato. But because i really love him and he explained everything to me, i overlooked it all. He has his own faults too.

I never changed because he hinted marriage. He has always teased about marriage and babies for as long as remember. I have never hesitated to be mad at him when he annoys me, but the good thing about me is that i let him know when am upset and we talk about it. The longest i have kept malice against him is probably 12 hours.

Even before i came to Europe, we had few arguments. So having an argument with him in EU is nothing strange.

Like i said in my previous posts, we did have a silly  argument before the sudden change. He used some hurtful adjectives on me (over vacation destination) and i didn't like them and i told him and he could not utter a mere sorry. Instead he was acting all nice and romantic. I gave him the cold shoulder (one liners, etc). I know he was hurt by my reaction. But i dont know how to pretend. . . . when am not happy, am not happy. when am happy, i radiate and he knows this.

Whatever he claims i did, i have shown him that i am genuinely sorry. Malice is just not the approach to it. He  should just call me, insult the living day lights out of me (if it will make him feel good), tell me what my errors were and i will apologise and tell him why i said the things i said or reacted the way i did, if we make up - fantastic, if its over - sad. We'll both move on !

Radiant:
Before he was silent. Now a text, next will be a call and next again will be him! Calm down sweetie. Don't bombard him with calls and messages. That shit can be very annoying. I know u mean no harm but just send may be 2/3 mesgs a day and relax. Please give him time, give him time dear.  

i have called and called and texted him for days. On a particular day i called him continuously from 8am - 12 midnight. I am not exaggerating. Composing long texts to him intermediately.  i am exhausted and i have run out of energy.

i have stopped calling people to beg him because i have ended up humiliating myself and almost crushing my self-esteem in the process. i have had the most impossible things said to me by various people. even his mum had to ask me why i wanted to cry myself to death and went ahead to ask me if her son promised me marriage or if i have ever aborted for him    
that ended up adding more pepper to injury.  

so i am not calling or texting again. i have gradually began to wean myself off him. Its been a little over 24 hours since i last cried    thanks to the kind words i have been getting from this thread.

yorke:
After reading this thread,im just wandering what my gal is going through now, i gat to pick her call whenever she calls, becos for the past 3days she has been calling/texting and no response from me.she offended me though i haven't told her what she did to me but i guess she knows, im just feeling for now, hope is not my gal that posted this thread, lets me call her now.

it is not fair. call her now or pick up when next she calls you. you can tell her what her offense it and give her attitude on the phone. Ignoring her completely is just so wrong !

you said you've ignored her for 3 days. . . . then it is not me. My bf has not spoken a word to me in 2 weeks !

jilbaby:
Geez, why are you all hating the guy, do you know if he has no choice but to do what he did?

Poster, you have being away from this guy for months and take it from me, he has not been faithful to you. You see when a smart/desperate girl senses competition or lack of commitment from a guy, they force him into committing to them by getting pregnant.
I lost the love of my life to a girl who was smart enough to get pregnant for him.

So u see, probably your man has committed and since he cannot tell you, he prays for you to make a mistake no matter how trivial so he can hold onto, he has no choice but to break it with you.

Guys, no matter how much they love you, they always end up cheating on you. So take heart my dear, cos if this is the case, no amount of crying and begging will make him come back to you. So like me, brace yourself and move on.

It will be difficult, especially when you truly love that person, but as they say to heal a broken heart, you have to love again. So don't wallow in grieve while love slips by.

well. if that is what that has happened, then it is really really really sad.  

getting pregnant for him [b]just to hold him dow[/b]n has never ever been an option for me and he knows this and this has earned great respect for me from him.

i do not belong to the league of desperate women. sounding as humble as possible, i am a young, pretty, intelligent and very nice woman. i have been a good and loyal friend to him, faithful to him, loved  him, respected him, loved his family and cared for him. i may not have been so financially buoyant like him to give him treats but i did try in my own simple and honest way to be keep him happy and attracted to me.

even if he has seen someone else, he should be nice enough to speak to me and tell me it is over. i think i deserve that from him and we will talk about it and then part amicably. there are million other ways he can walk out on me, but this his own method is obviously the most cruel.

anyway, his loss is another man's gain. after all, there is no written or oral contract between us that he has to marry me whether he likes it or not. as a matter of fact, i have been very calm and matured about the whole marriage talk. he has been the one going on and on about the fact that he would want to marry me and have kids for him soon. i only tell him, fine . . . . but i will only walk that marriage path anytime from the last quarter of next year.

i am just shocked that he can go to bed and wake up daily ignoring me completely and having such grudge in his heart. it really amazes me !  its utter wickedness  

Outstrip:
What people do for this so called "love". He is just your boyfriend and you are about to kill yourself. Please stop it abeg.

yes ma.

Sam Milla:
What kind of argument ? because if it was the kind i had with my girlfriend last night, i would stretch the muteness to one month.

Princek12:
Sorry for your situation, but I need to know where the argument arose from before I can appropriately give you my advise. The reason is that he may be justified in acting the way he is acting.

i have already explained what happened in my previous posts on this thread

platinumnk:
Wow.

Hmmm.

Where is sistawoman when you need her??


But @poster- Wait a week, before doing anything, have u gone to see him?
Is he near where you could see him in person?

I hate the ignore sh!t, be a man and tell me whats on your mind, dragging it out more is immature.
Yes you may need space to think, but I would let that person know I needed time to think.

its been way over a week. he lives in another part of EU.
after getting so many people to talk to him, all he did was send a text that he needed time alone and that he has nothing against me and he would call me later.

after getting this message from him, i begged and begged the more but not a word back from him.

justwise:
No prob sister, u will get stronger by day, hope your money no go run out soon(if u are not working).
U can't kill urself, wat will be will be

Okay. Thank you. But I am just amazed by his behaviour

I have a job. Thanks to him. He encouraged me, searched online for weeks for jobs for me, helped me in editing my CV until I eventually got a job.

I eat,sleep, breathe him. 

justwise:
U see, u are getting stronger now. Keep smiling, u will be fine.

Thanks for your kind words of encouragement