₦airaland Forum

Ok uju. Thank you

Update: not a word yet from him.

ujujoan,

that toni's song is going to make me cry. i cant listen to it. and i have promised myself not to cry again.

i have not cried all day today.

zuuby:
Relax
If he loves you he will come back like a thunder bolt,otherwise you are not meant to be together.

i hope he comes back soon before the love i have for him wanes. it took a lot of communication and patience to take our relationship to this level. i cannot understand why he wants to spoil it this way.

ritze:
some of us(men) dont ve a good forgiven heart
u must ve said something that hurted him badly
but i wonde what it is to ve dealt with sm1 u love to this extent
u neva can tell he migth come back and if he doesnt (bone am)
its not the end of the world (sometime we feel it is)
BE STRONG

i am shocked as well. am beginning to doubt if he loved me genuinely from the heart   

galatico:
The guy is a coward he should have come out to tell you your fault, and you think back, you might have wronged him .

not a word from him telling me what i had done wrong. i only got to know my ''offense'' from people i sent to beg him on my behalf

chaircover, radiant and ujujoan

thank you so much ladies.

chaircover, i will keep myself very busy.

ujujoan, please what is the song ?

i have been listening to mary j blige and k'jon's on the ocean

its 3am. i cant sleep 

i have terrible headache but i am being strong. no tears for some hours now

i wonder how long it will take for him to comeback?
what if he decides not to come back?

i am so depressed and dejected   

spizzlenik:
@poster, I think u have tried your best. I think you shouldnt listen to the bandwagon of people telling u that your relationship is over. Give him some chill time he would come back to his senses. Meanwhile I think it is time for you to stop calling/begging, he will come around sooner than u'll realize.if u guys can weather this storm,u ll be better for it

okay. thank you.

Igwe.:
Hey sweetheart, just give him some time miss you a little, Absence they say makes the heart grow fonder.
Please learn from this , i'm sure he'd comeback to you sooner than you think. 

alright. thank you.

i really appreciate all the replies. am feeling better already. i just had my first meal today (cornflakes) and the usual me would have eaten eba 10 times before midnight. 

spoilt:
Stop texting and calling him. Wetin? You've tried jare.

i have stopped.

but it took all the self-control i could muster. i have my cell phone locked up in my wardrobe. because i could not keep my eyes and hands off it.

i can just help thinking what he aims to achieve by doing this 

Pharoh:
Let him be for now i think he is trying to make a decision about what has just happened.

make a decision?

but this his method is cruel. you have no idea how much i have cried and begged. if i marry him and i upset him, is this what he will do to me?        it means am not safe and he is capable of anything and the thought of that alone is already scaring me about him  

kellorah:
Nah, nothing spiritual bout it. Personally, I believe everything happens for a reason.

He's a liar? Ahhh! That's not a good thing o. . . how/why did u put up with his lies?  

Sounds to me like u did have a good relationship. These things do happen my dear.

Take heart my dear. God will see u through.

he explained why he lied and i understood and forgave him although this made me a bit wary of him. but that is only natural, right?

kellorah:
Nah, nothing spiritual bout it. Personally, I believe everything happens for a reason.

In this your case, for example, God prolly used your ex to get u to the UK so u can find the man your destined to be with. I'm just saying!

Sounds to me like u did have a good relationship. These things do happen my dear.

Take heart my dear. God will see u through.

my friends think the same but i dont agree. i do not have the energy to do the whole dating thing again. i really love this guy. if i am asked by God to choose, i will choose him over any other man.

justwise:
After this u will be stronger, he is making a mistake, very soon he will be the one begging u. Just be strong, u will be fine

alright. thank you. am feeling much better already. i just had to pour my heart out. people in nigeria are also worried, cos i am just crying and they are not here to physically comfort me.

i am just wondering why he should he put spikes in something that has been going on so well?

kellorah:
Why are some of us focusing on what she may or may not have said to him??
At the end of the day, guys too say things that ladies don't like to hear.


What I'm trying to say is, people do change JUST LIKE THAT, without the gf/bf doing or saying anything.

You can be the best bf/gf in the world, and even have the best relationship ever, but one day one of u will start having silly feelings, feelings u may not be able to control. These things happen. . . and when they do, both parties will have to find a way of moving on, unless they are patient and will rather wait for the other person to wake up!! But please, don't waste your tears. Save it for when your praying to God.

but is that normal? can there be spiritual undertones?

the lies he told me are synonymous to tsunami, yet i forgive him and even loved him more

i will stop crying. am already feeling better. but its tough. i really thought we had a great relationship that will weather even the worst of storms.

agabaI23:
I hope the poster is not[b] just looking for a back up to turn her back on this man[/b]. She knows what she has done. I am sure you have said this before and she warned you. How long have you been with him that you are just discovering he has no human sympathy. How many guys are hitting on you here?


On the other hand you may have never said such thing to him if you were still in naija.

Maybe you called him Bushman when he suggested that you go for vacation in Saudi Arabia and you probably suggested Miami beach.


The ego of man is his prized possession, dare not toil with if you will be in his good book.

i have no reason to turn my back on him. and he knows this ! he did warn me many times to always listen and trust him. but i also warned him many times to stop trying to play funny with me. we always had this trust issues from nigeria, so it is not new. and there is nobody hitting me anywhere.  

kellorah:
I disagree.

He doesn't have to have had a back-up plan before ditching her.

Esp, if he's a good guy.

NOT ALL GUYS DO.

David David. . . .hmm!!

i do not think he has any backup plan

if he did, he wont have invested so much time, love and resources in our relationship

am really confused.

kellorah:
Although he's prolly thinking u shd get the msg by now, it still doesn't mean he shouldn't do the decent thing and be a man in such situation.

You've pleaded and pleaded, etc. . .wot more does he want u to do?!

I honestly feel very sorry for u. But guys are complicated than they like to admit. They're always quick to say women are complicated, but this is soooo not true. And yes, people do change just like that. Some people can't even explain, or give reasons for why they act in such manner. He prolly does love u but is prolly going through a "phase".

Do your best (as uve done so far) and leave the rest to God/fate cos he prolly doesn't wanna get back with u, so no amount of tears will be of help. Sorry dear. Be strong.

thank you so much.

i just cant stop crying.

i am an action-less babe. very nice, caring and easy. i have never treated anyone like this before and God knows i do not deserve this.

Diva1:
Listen dear I went through exactly the same thing, in the heat of the moment, said some words I didn't mean but to cut things short, you have to stop pleading, begging and all that. Seems like you have begged enough and acknowledged u made a mistake. Enough! If he truly loves you, he would come back.
It happened to me and now the tables have turned. He is now the one trying to make things up!

i have stopped begged.
diva1, i really begged. heavy begging. even God in heaven cant be that cold to me

chaircover:
so who doesn't trust who?

there are few times i didn't trust him and that is because i caught him lying to me in the past

kellorah:
The way the guy is going on about it isn't right.
He should have the decency to call u and end it like anyone would have.

Poster, this situation should clearly tell u he's a horrible person. Sorry bout your situation. These things do happen. Weeks/months/years from now u will look back and laugh.  

Be strong, and don't worry urself too much bout it. Someone better will def come along, that's if your bf doesn't come to his senses by then.

that is what people back home in nigeria are telling me

but it hurts to think of him as a horrible person. he has been so nice and sweet ever since i met him. do people change so fast or camouflage their real character for so long?

if he wants out, he should tell me straight up  

davidylan:
Well what did you do to him? He had no human sympathy and he made all that sacrifice to bring you to Europe? Women!

if he made all the sacrifice, why turn back now and treat me like trash?

stillwater:
Not for weeks should he be keeping malice with her. The dude is wicked.

What was the argument about? Who made who mad?

it was just a stupid arguement. he wanted us to go somewhere fancy for vacation and i wanted somewhere else and then he said i was rude and stubborn, which i took personal and i acted very cold to him for about two days. In between, we had trust issues.

chaircover:
It could be something you said during the argument. Us women have ways of making a man feel smaller than an ant when we want to  

He has obviously moved on, so please stop begging him, hold your head up high and get on with life. Its not the end of the world.

Not all relationships end on a good note. Just put it down to experience.

Chin up, hit the high street and flex some plastic on some good retail therapy. . . . . It always works  

i was angry and i said some jargons but i dont deserve such treatment. believe me, he has done worse things and the longest i have stayed away from him is 12 hours. i am quick to forgive.

i have stopped begging. i dont even have the energy to beg any more. i am so weak and exhausted. mentally and physically.

i am so hurt.

davidylan:
sometimes you need to let her cry to teach her a valuable lesson. She wont learn if you accept her appologies at the drop of a hat.

But he should know where to draw the line. He has over-done it.  

I think i am just seeing the true him. He has no human sympathy !

stillwater:
Just cool down before you kill yourself for nothing. Cry if you have to, it will soon pass.

Alright. I am doing that. But it is sooo tough. I just had to say my thoughts here because i am all alone hurting so much.

I am so used to him and we talk about everything together.

He is responsible for bringing me to Europe some few months ago  and he spent a very large amount of money to get me here. I am shocked with the sudden change. Before coming here, he asked me if i will change to him on getting to europe and i assured him i will not. I have remained the same girl from Nigeria. My friends think that people have used juju to bring the both of us apart  but i do not want to believe that.

We are not engaged or married but we do talk about the future, getting married and having kids together someday

chika98:
Tell him to SOD OFF! It isn't worth you crying your eyes out. A man who loves you won't bear to see you cry at all

that is what everyone is telling me.
i had to call nigeria and when my best friends heard me weeping over the phone they could not believe it. i have cried my eyes out and begged him like my life depended on it and he is not the least moved.

I am starting this thread with so much tears in my eyes. For over a week now i have been unable to sleep, eat well or think straight.

I have been dating a guy for over a year and God in heaven knows i love this guy so much.

We had an argument few weeks back and he has refused to talk to me since then. I have called and called over a trillion times and he is not taking my calls. Sent text messages begging and pleading. Nothing yet. I sent him emails. Left voicemail he still wont talk to me.

I had to get people including his own mother to please help me beg him and all he keeps saying is that he will call me.

Its been hell and i have never gone through this before in my life.

I know he loves me but i just cant phantom why he has blanked me off like this.

Its obviously over between us, but at least he should talk to me rather than doing this to me

I dont deserve this. God knows!