₦airaland Forum

I think the world is going crazy. Since when did marriage become a union between more than husband and wife. Even if it's the girl's family that rescued him from the miry clay and set his feet upon a rock, they don't have the right to come and dictate what happens in that union. The girl is mental but unfortunately marriage is till death do us part and such people are never ready to die to convenience you. My suggestion to your 'friend' is he needs to give his wife an ultimatum. Some people never use their brains until they're pushed to the wall. He should tell his wife to pick between the marriage and her family. If her choice is her marriage, she should make it up to her husband by giving him head 3 times a day for the next 40 days. THAT is scriptural!

sexkillz: [color=#000030] They should go see a psychologist. . . Something is wrong somewhere! [/color]

Remember I said easily. For instance, I find it difficult to cry in front of others unless I'm extremely angry and I can't hit someone. But to just start crying is extremely hard. I'll feel the tears inside though.

MRbrownJAY: sadly in MY WORLD cheating is much more than just fukcing behind ones back. if she KISSES someone else, thats CHEATING. if she gets fondled by someone else, thats CHEATING. if she gets licked by someone else, thats CHEATING! even if she day dream about fukcing someone, thats CHEATING to me (but that one i can let slide), but thats only what i (MBJ) expect from any damsel and what she will get from me, but thats just me........... to each their own!

lol@ daydream...

~Killz~:
It depends on your offence, and the heart condition of whoever you are begging. Are you sincerely telling me that if after crying your eyes out and he doesn't budge and you realize that kneeling would solve the problem, you wont do it? You may be very humble but then it depends on the guy. Me, i'm sold on tears alone. . . But i cant say the same for the next guy. . .

What of those who can't cry easily no matter how hard they try?

MRbrownJAY: @OP
of course IT IS CHEATING......whether it is with another gal or even with a horse, if she is going to fukc someone else behind your back then THATS CHEATING. no question about it!

Can u call it f**king if it's with another girl?

sexkillz: [color=#000030] It only becomes cheating "if" you are married. [/color]

Wait, so if ur wife is unfaithful, it's cheating but if ur girl is unfaithful, it isnt?

Personally, I don't think 'cheating' is actually the right thing to call it.

Sexkillz would you rather she cheated with a guy?

I'm not entirely sure if this topic falls under romance or sexuality, so I'm going to just place it here.
To the guys: If your girlfriend gets down with another girl sexually, do you consider it cheating or not?

~Killz~:
[color=#000030]She must also be Jesus Christess. . . Yeah, right![/color]

I love u Killz

Killz.:
[color=#000030]You be real ode. . . As in, your own ode get certificate! You judge people by their posts? And you drop your number? Haha. . .[/color]

Killz, ur mean

This happens because Nigerian christians are some of the most impractical people on the surface of planet earth. Everything is a spiritual attack, nothing is ever their fault, there is always nothing they can do but pray and above all they hold themselves up to some ridiculous and not to mention unmeetable standards. Hence they automatically doom themselves to hyprocrisy and misery. I have been a christian for a long time and I've 'done' a lot of church so I know what I'm talking about. You see people asking God for financial breakthrough yet are as lazy and given to slothful behaviour as Rip Van Winkle. They don't want to think, they don't want to improve themselves and even when opportunity comes, they find one million reasons not to take it; when all other excuses fail they dismiss it as not the will of God. I know alady who is close to forty and has been doing all manner of prayer and fasting for a life partner. She's practically the most anti-social creature you can imagine. She never leaves her house except to go to work and even though she can afford to dress well- she even shops in the UK, she prefers to dress haggardly, she mostly looks unkempt and has a way of dismissing people. To her, everbody isn't serving God properly and are insincere of heart. She has a ridiculously idealistic idea of the man she wants to marry- He must be romantic enough to take her to Europe, must not drink (not even a drop), must not smoke, must speak in tongues, should be reasonably well off because she can't suffer and should be a home-body like she is. She says she has 'told' God... whether God has told her is a different matter. All this wouldn't matter if she even left the house once in a while to create the possibility of meeting this Mr Perfect but no, she prides herself has being a permanent fixture in the house. Even her church activities are limited. Her family members have advised her to join groups in church where she can at least meet people- choir, ushering... she says that is not true christianity; that it is not true christianity to work in church for that reason and the choir is a group of hopeless gossips anyway. So she works in a group that is always absent in one corner of some backland. And she prides herself as joining a ministry many people don't want to join. She's that self-righteous and has caged a whole lot of herself with false ideas of what christianity means. I have grown up enough and come to the conclusion that when we get to heaven and by God's graceI will, God is going to shake his head at us and say " Who sent you people all those message? I never intended christianity to be as complicated and as difficult as you people made it out to be". Nigerians just believe if ur not suffering, then it isn't true christianity.
SOORY FOR THE LONG POST.

Thanks for the responses. She's the furthest thing from a gold digger. All the while I've known her, though she's beautiful and smart and could probably date any guy she wanted, she's always dated guys who barely had anything and that's her main problem right now. She's a simple girl who has always dreamt of having a simple guy to start life with and to her this guy is like everything far from what she's always wanted...but somehow she likes him. He hasn't spend a dime on her and she's content just exchanging phone calls (they live in different cities). She's skeptical though about them spending time together. Her taste runs more to quiet and homely entertainment; he seems the sort that like expensive restaurants and clubs ( she's not entirely sure though). So far she says she'll just take it slow but she believes he'll lose interest once he finds out she's never been to the South of France nor wears Manolo Blahniks and has no problem shopping in Balogun Market. Do these things really bother guys?

Okay, this might sound like just another Nairaland thread but I've looked at the old posts and seen nothing that refers to this situation. So, I know a girl who's a little confused, worried and REALLY skeptical about her new relationship. A little while ago, she met a guy and they kind of bonded immediately, about three weeks after they met,he asked if they could be exclusive. Her problem now is while she comes from a modest middle class background- Federal government college, Nigerian University, he comes from one of the elite Nigerian families- World class Ivy-league education, has travelled the world and dated the most exotic girls imaginable. He says he loves her and although she feels strongly about him, she can't shake the feeling it won't work out long term because we Nigerians are pretty class conscious and whereas she's not from a poor home, his is extremely wealthy. I've told her she should take a chance but she maintains that reality shows that guys from that sort of background tend to hook up with girls from similar backgrounds- summer holidays, schools abroad, elite social class and so she's afraid if she lets herself fall completely in love with him, she'll end up hurt in more ways than one. Does she have a valid point or is she just seeing trouble where there's none?

honeric01: No mama, it's just that i am tired of reading the phrase "he's not a real man", i want a real man bla bla bla, you're a woman and you are not alien to these phrase right? , BTW, no woman can call me unreal because no room for them to say that.. ALL entry closed!

I get ur point though. But I think u should take the time to observe the girls who make such statements. Both sexes male and female have their ways of trying to run the other sex down. I have never used the expression'real man' because I don't know what that is. A guy is either good for me or he isn't; but 'real'? What does that even mean? Beer advertizers say their beer is for real men, materialistic girls say a man isn't a real one simply cos he doesn't spend stupidly on them or bend to their will. All I can say is next time u hear a girl saying a guy isn't a real man, ask her what she means. I find the term offensive. I have brothers, they might not be perfect but I don't see any reason y any girl would say they're not real men afterall they come complete with the necessary body parts to be termed 'men'. If a man doesn't suit u, move on rather than start talking 'realness'. What is a real man? Is it one who loves u, protects u, provides for u? If he doesn't do those things, then he's not urs...he's gonna be 'real' for someone else.

honeric01: Sissy i am a man, i don't need make-up to look good, same with my cutiepie, she also does not need make up to look attractive and adorable to me. you can keep the make-up for your fans

Ur sure? Okay. If u change ur mind anyway... Besides, knew u were a man, just wondering if ur exploring ur alternate sexuality... U seem a little too vehement on this topic. Did any girl call u an unreal man perchance?

honeric01: "Don't come screaming that "men are not real" or that "there are no real men" around when what you brought to the table is all but FAKE"

This statement above should be enough to help you except if you have issues with your conscience, are you inferior without make-up? if no, then YOU DO NOT HAVE ISSUES WITH THIS THREAD, kindly read and move on sissy.

Thank u sweetie. I like being a sissy. U? Also, I distribute makeup if u want some... U just might find u look good in mascara and good lipgloss

All this talk don even tire me self. What is a 'real' man? Is there a definition for that? I don't know what a real man is, I know my man is a 'good' man. Ofcourse some other girl may not like him but I like him the way he is and he likes me the way I am. Since no other man's opinion matters to me, I'll just focus on his.
@Honerico- I hope ur woman is 'real' enough for u and ur 'real' enough for her (whatever that means), that's all that matters at the end of the day.

honeric01: Stop mixing things up here, it's not about deeper lifestyle, no one is saying you shouldn't wear earings or put on something decent, one says you shouldn't take care of yourself.

do you know the difference between being naturally attractive and being extremely unnaturally attractive?

you can dress your real hair and lOOK SPLENDID, you can be modest and be attractive, not until you arm your whole body with all the accessories known to women because you can be tagged beautiful or attractive. YOUR SELF WORTH alone is enough to attract responsible men to you.

Responsible men won't settle down with an inferiority-complexed woman because she's going to drag him down.


Yes, the fake ones are wanted by men but for one purpose = SEXXX.

After the enough round of sex, what else do you have to prove to him that you're valuable if some of the things you attracted him with were later found out by him to be FAKE? improve your appearance does not mean you should dress like a masquerade, you mean a woman can only improve her appearance by putting on armors? what happened to exercising? there are numerous exercises a woman can do to improve and increase her curves without having to wear padded this or that. EXCUSES!

Conclusively, do not cry that men are not "real" if you also appear to be fake because BIRDS of a feather are most likely going to FLOCK together.

Keep wishing. Maybe one day, if u preach enough, women will stop being fake and men will stop chasing after fake women. what is so real about the average bride on her wedding day- fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, make up, and a dress that is designed to make even the most shapeless woman look divine? Still, I'm yet to meet a man who divorced his wife because her eyelashes are not as long he thought or her nails aren't naturally white tipped or her hair is not as long as the Brazilian hair she had flowing down her back the day he met her. If u eally want change, then talk to the guys... If u guys didn't glamourize artificiality in women, I think most girls wouldn't feel the need to spend so much money on enhancements. Abi is it not because of men we spend hours and thousands of Naira in the salon getting tugged at, burned, scratched etc? Just so at the end of the day, our man can say proudly "Sweetie, u look amazing". Ofcourse too much of anything is bad, but stop making it seem like it's a crime to do these things. And sorry, it's not for sex...my mother and ALL my aunties (even those in their sixties) receive money from their husbands (yes, their husbands give them the money) to do these things. I actually have an uncle who came to complain to my mother that his wife never does these things even when he buys them for her, gives her money to go shopping etc. The woman is forming natural...her husband is in misery. S o speak for urself sweetie..it's ridiculous to assume that of the 3 Billion men on planet earth, they'll all think like u. No one is important enough to tell the entire human race what they should like and what they shouldnt.

honeric01: Those who mess around mess around, that's their gene, not because the wife is real or not. we are talking about those who appear fake to those who truly mean well for them. excuses here and there.. not surprise.. yes men would still BANG the shit outta these fake girls but few find them worthy of keeping for life!

err... Is it spirits that are marrying and 'keeping for life' the millions of women who do these things? If u don't like it, fine- different strokes for different folks but don't kid urself that the majoritym of guys aren't more interested in the so-called fake girls. I asked a guy the other day if he prefers the Deeper life lifestyle and he screamed NOOOO. According to him, those girls are like 'farm animals'. Funny nough, I know more guys with his point of view than yours. Even pastors encourage women to improve their appearance for the sakes of their husbands...apparently, a lot of these husbands complain that their wives no longer 'take care' of themselves by which they mean the women no longer take time to do their hair, make up and wear flattering clothes. If ur d sort of man that prefers a woman who is au naturel then thank God for u but pls don't pretend like u don't know most men prefer the 'enhanced' sort of woman. Why else are men all over the world drooling over Kim Kardashian- the 'epitome' of fakeness? The only real thing about that woman is her blood, yet...

Guys can be so hypocritical. These so-called 'Real' women are all over Deeper Life Church, MFM, CAC etc but I've noticed something, only men who actually attend those denominations want to go for those girls. Even as at that, they tend to marry them, keep them at home and then go messing around with us so-called 'fake' girls. Let's be practical, beauty is as defined by society. Women have been using make-up throughout the ages: from the ancient Egyptians' kohl eyeliner and lipstick to victorian era women's application of lead whiteners, artificial hair and artificial hair colouring. It was even the norm for a victorian lady of high class standing to chop off her maid's hair and have it fashioned into a wig for extra length... Women wore corsets for smaller waists and bustiers for added bosoms and lets not forget the hoop skirts that gave the illusion of a larger behind. ALL these were done to attract men and whether we like it or not, IT WORKS because despite their aggressive but hypocritical protests, men actually like it!

Personally, I think it depends on how things ended. A lot of people, especially me are on VERY good terms with our exes. Infact one has made me promise 2 be best man even though I'm a girl. We dated, and it's over, no need to write a bestseller about it. I wouldnt miss his wedding for anything. However,if there is animosity or any ill-will involved, or heavy chemistry for that matter, You'd do well to keep ur distance. But in your case, from the facts you've given, I don't think it's a big deal. Just compose yourself and be happy for the new couple.