₦airaland Forum

othermen:
The sun-baked soil of Africa was a distant memory for the young girl, Bidemi, as she stepped off the bus and onto the unfamiliar pavement of her new home. Her father, Deolu, had worked tirelessly to bring their family to this new land, seeking a brighter future for his daughter. With a mix of excitement and trepidation, Bidemi clutched her father's hand as they made their way to their new apartment.

As they settled into their new life, Deola’s dedication to Bidemi’s education only grew stronger. He labored long hours to ensure she had the best possible chance at success, and his hard work paid off when Bidemi was accepted into a local elementary school.

At first, Bidemi struggled to adjust to the unfamiliar customs and expectations of her new school. In Ibadan, children were taught to respect their elders with silence and obedience. But here, her classmates seemed to have an unspoken freedom to express themselves, even to the point of telling adults to "shut up." Bidemi watched in awe as her peers confidently asserted themselves, and she began to wonder why she couldn't do the same.

As the days turned into weeks, Bidemi’s newfound confidence grew. She started to speak up in class, sharing her thoughts and ideas with her teacher and classmates. But with this newfound freedom came a reckoning. One evening, as they sat down to dinner, Bidemi complained about the meal, saying she was tired of eggs and wanted chicken instead. Then, she was tired of yoghurt and wanted Sobo. Deolu, taken aback by her assertiveness, scolded her for her attitude. But Bidemi, fueled by her newfound sense of self, shot back, "Shut up, Daddy!"

The slap that followed sent shockwaves through their small apartment. Bidemi’s eyes welled up with tears as she retreated to her room, her heart heavy with regret. But the damage was done. The teacher noticed Bidemi’s unusual silence the next day and, after hearing the story, immediately contacted child services.

The days that followed were a blur for Ogbeni Deolu. He lost his joy, his mind and his ability to work as he struggled to come to terms with the consequences of his actions. The courts deemed him unfit to care for Bidemi, and she was taken into protective custody. Deolu’s world crumbled around him as he realized he might never be with his beloved daughter again.

Two long years passed, and Deolu’s once-strong spirit was broken. He perished, a shadow of the man he once was, his heart forever scarred by the loss of his daughter and the life they once shared.

In the two years that passed, the Child services contacted Deolu, informing him that Bidemi was doing well in her new foster home and that he could have supervised visits with her. Initially overjoyed, Deolu eagerly agreed, hoping to rebuild their relationship.

However, when Deolu was finally reunited with Bidemi, he was met with a stranger. The vibrant, curious girl he once knew was now a confident, self-assured young woman who seemed to have moved on from his love. Bidemi was polite but distant, and Deolu’s heart sank as he realized she had formed strong bonds with her new family.

As the visits continued, Deolu struggled to connect with the daughter he once knew so intimately. Bidemi’s new family had become her rock, and she seemed to prefer their company to his. The pain of this realization was almost too much for Deolu to bear.

Helping Abidemi recover, her new foster family
provided her with mental health support and she began therapy. Her therapist helped her uncover the deep-seated effects of the beatings she received as a child in Ibadan, and that it had profoundly impacted her mental health and might affect her own disposition and tolerance for abusive relationships.

As Bidemi worked through her trauma, she began to recognize the abusive patterns in her relationship with her father, Deolu. It was just the slap, but the more her foster family made her watch Nigerian movies on YouTube and saw the way parents corporally punished their children in Africa, the more she adopted the children’s pain and hated her father.

With the newfound understanding, Abidemi spoke out about the abusive relationship she had with her father, sharing her story with everyone around her. While this was a liberating experience for Bidemi, it further drove Deolu to madness. He never used a cane on Abidemi in Ibadan.

No one would have Deolu and so he descended further into a dark abyss of denial and anger. He gave a statement calling his Abidemi a liar. It seemed to him, that the dearth of his daughter’s love was not enough, now, Abidemi would also take the love he could gain from elsewhere, for standing with him seemed like standing against Abidemi. This was the source of the rejection of his community and why he sought to publicly rebuke her.

It was just a slap, but Abidemi spoke at length about the abusive relationship. It was an excuse for her inadequacies, and a source of livelihood for her and her foster family. As she spoke, Deolu’s reputation got further tarnished, and he was shunned and his descent into madness was sealed. It was his village people, he wrongly said.


As Bidemi shared her experience with the world, the foster family who had taken her in were the center of attention. They were hailed as heroes for providing a safe haven for Bidemi and for supporting her in speaking out against her father's abuse. They reaped rewards, received donations and funding for their "noble" work, and their nonprofit organization grew exponentially.

Bidemi’s mental health fraying under the pressure of constantly reliving her trauma, didn’t matter. the foster family's priorities was clear. They were more invested in keeping the spotlight on themselves and the cause than in ensuring Bidemi’s well-being.

Her mental health was an insignificant cost and they told her, the suffering she experienced was a necessary sacrifice for the greater good – to raise awareness and bring an end to abuse.

Bidemi condition worsened, and when the madness that took her father had consumed her too. She yearned for Deolu, her father, but no one heard her.

In the absence of no shoulder to lean on, Bidemi became reliant on substances to cope. It could dull her pain, ease her regret.

In the obituary, published after her suicide, the foster family made sure to mention she was a fighter who eventually succumbed to her father’s abuse.

Lawly:
I have a fiance that I have already proposed to and we are planning on getting married this September. But I noticed that she won't let me touch her before marriage which I think she was just trying to maintain her standard. I also noticed that she doesn't like coming to my place to help me do anything. As a matter of fact, she has never helped me do anything in my house. She has never cooked for me in my house, she has never helped me clean the house, she has never washed my clothes etc. Rather, she stormed my house one very early morning and woke me up just to drag me that I have not been spending money the way she wants on her. I was pissed off and told her that she too has not been satisfied any of my expectations to determine whether she's a marriageable type. She kept quiet and gave me incognito mode for a whole month only for her to return back this time around to resume her attitude of demanding. My last born brother however has been living with me and does all those works for me and doesn't give me stress at all. Instead, she's insisting that when we get married she doesn't want him around in my house. I also noticed that she's doesn't want people around me. She wants herself alone to handle anyone she finds in my life like my family members, friends etc. I tested her one day by asking her for 1k to pay for sth urgent and she quickly knocked it off and diverted topic. I lost my job since last year August and has been doing tailoring job to survive and she's very much aware. Now, I notice that anytime she comes to my house, she comes with lists of demands she writes on paper I must do for her. Sometimes I might work late into the night just to meet my financial target and that's exactly when she wants to see me. And if I take longer time that night to see her, she gets angry and when I still see her that night, it's always fresh sets of demands.

My mind has been telling me a lot of things. But am confused whether it's just me thinking out of point or something else or am blind. I have made commitments towards settling down with her and have even seen her people. I don't know what to do especially on the fact that my people have given me ultimatum that I must marry a woman this year.

Kobojunkie:
Nigerians are being paid $45.01 slave wages per month by their government.

AdisaMighty:
I ate mother and child

AdisaMighty:
Cleared immigrations and all. Done with my strange combination of chicken and eggs breakfast the indomine cafe (on a low carb diet).

Konquest:
Those look very inviting for the taste buds and colorful. It'll be nice to taste that down the road.

Is it known known interchangeably as Masa and Waina by the Hausa folks?

Konquest:
I just saw this, I was actually gonna ask you for the recipe and best way to make this in my last post. Nice info.

folake4u:
This looks so good.😍😍

Unfortunately, the first time I tried the rice masa in 2022 I didn't like it. It was bland and dry.

radautoworks:
what do you use to scoop it, a regular spoon, by hand or ice cream scoop?

danielclerkson:
I am very fond of masa, but only the street ones, I have never considered making it though

danielclerkson:
Wow, it looks so fluffy and yummy

radautoworks:
Thank you!

radautoworks:
recipe please

danielclerkson:
Wow, it looks so fluffy and yummy

folake4u:
Marrying a virgin wife is bliss. Okay.

But some of your brothers complain that they're prude and boring in marriage and so have to cheat with the whores and bad girls that are fun and sexually liberated but they're still the whores who can't be married. Right?

By the way, y'all are really hilarious.

Akalia:
Not just sex but perverted sex. They have no constructive agenda. Very empty movement.

TrustNone:
are you still there?

folake4u:
My baby!!
My sultry Queen.
Hot as ALWAYS!!! 💞

Pastorjohn2:
The God I serve can NEVER allow a man that practices pre marital sex and adultery to becomes a gospel singer.

Davido has cursed his generations with his evil acts and satanic music. That's why God took the life of that unfortunate child to serve as a lesson but he refuses to learn!

recklesslove:
I'm searching for a farm buddy / partner not investor pls. Someone very passionate about farming n actively involved. My partner relocated abroad.
*You must already be actively involved in farming . Cassava n grains
*You must be able to process garri manually or willing to learn.
*If you have cassava farm n you are looking for who to help you process manually you can hit us up. We will come to your farm n get the job done for a fee.
* We also offer brooding services for broilers only to enable you achieve 2kg at 5weeks maximum. We also have a market for broilers
WhatsApp only 08056852970..
One can chase a thousand. Two can chase 10 thousand.

ruffhandu:
Hello people,
Please I need some advice.
We live in PH, and have 4 kids. The oldest is 10 while the youngest is 6. I give my wife 700k every month, and this includes general upkeep and maintenace and fuelling of our car (Lexus 330). I don't drive the car (I dey leg, while she uses it to run around, which includes school runs and her business).

I no dey chuk eye for her business. Bu I am getting frustrated as she still makes me believe that the money is not enough. I pay electricity bill (band A) and house rent (3m pa) yet every now and then she puts bills on my head. It is driving me crazy.

When I tell her to list out her expenses so I plan with her, she picks offence. I am really tired of the whole thing and don't know how else to approach the issue without causing too much problem. I know some men whose salaries are 250k-300k in PH, yet they are surviving.

jeromestarks:
I met this beautiful, hardworking and godloving lady somewhere at work. She's very nice and accommodating. She's also a graduate.
Let me quickly say that this lady is a decent lady - yeah, I went FBI on her; searched her socials: Facebook, insta, X etc and sincerely, all the pictures she took were done in her home (she stays with her mother).

As I interacted with her, I discovered she's a homely person. She doesn't club, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink. She's just all about stability.

I fell in love with her personality until I asked one last question.
"Sorry, I don't mean to pry. Please, how old are you?"

Without hesitation, this lady answered "I am 27"

Immediately I heard 27, I lost every single ounce of interest I had in her.
I didn't show it to her. I just said " Wow! You look so pretty, one would think you're 18. Thank God I asked."
She laughed and I could see her blush.

We discussed about other things, exchanged numbers and she left.
I have made up my mind never to call her. The age put me off and I don't even know why.


So dear ladies, do not tell men your age until the both of you are in a serious relationship. Never tell a man your age on the first date. Never!
Wait until you see some level of commitment or at least, until he got used to you a little.

brain54:
Is this the first time he is hearing of food fermentation...

How is cheese made?

Because it's Africa now it's primitive and rotten!

Shuksy:
Same here o. The second part. But we thank God. May we get our cingratulatiry message soon

Seunpapa65:
Erik Ten Hag on why he removed Sancho from the squad:

"He called me bad coach I didn't talk, He said Guardiola is better than me i still kept quiet, but when he asked which hair shampoo I'm using that's where I lost it"🤣

#Sarcasm

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

-ToRiz