₦airaland Forum

Women are detail oriented, men are task oriented

A woman expects the romance from her man in a relationship to follow a script in her head (from movies, books, tradition etc).

This is due to her highly meticulous and detailed nature.

Whereas a man just wants to get from point A to B

Women must realise that most of what she expects is different from the reality and should cut her man some slack where necessary.

Ladies must be realistic. You live in a gated estate and go from work-> to church -> to home. You never leave your house to walk around the estate and make yourself available and then expect to enter a relationship magically. No. You put your social media account on private, how will suitors assess and access you?

As for men...
They must learn to put in some effort as details matter to ladies.

In the bedroom, don't just jump straight to sex, engage in verbal and physical pre-intimacy with her. The romance starts from outside the bedroom. So, send her loving text messages during the daytime, help her out with chores, take her on date nights etc

Men talk for information, women talk for affection.

So men should not be angry if their woman calls on phone and says she just wanted to check up on him

Men should also try and do the same on phone

Women conversely, should sometimes have factual conversations with their man and not get angry if he gives a one word answer.

He may be tired from the day he has had and may be telling the truth when you ask him "what's wrong?" and he says "nothing".

More often than not a man will do or say anything to get sex while a woman will do anything to secure a committed relationship

Women usually lose out in this trade off by giving men "husband privileges" without the ring

This is why so many bachelors are opting to stay single for so long

Have the right mindset to avoid issues such as the current one trending virally globally

Women talk while they think, men need more time to think first before they talk

This can cause confusion for the woman when the man needs to process his thoughts

Good points

Men are slower than women in some aspects which annoys women, but... they must be patient

Men and women are not the same. Know this and know peace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZNIyCevj9c

Short video

What differentiates you from women /men?

Learn the differences and transform your life for good

Part 7 (final)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qAMlW7uGck

Part 6

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjfS9ixehWQ

Part 5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iR9AV2FEMA

Part 4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lB7-Lp6uYX0

Part 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of9u5TwpDpU

Part 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3S1I4AFcPM

Parts posted separately below

Part 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXBnsfastNs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpWgZZlgVWc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP0xCvfJA4w

Women need to understand that they also have a financial part to play in any relationship

Which of these mindsets is difficult to agree with

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxS13-Yv-64

Part 4 (video version)

Get your finances in order with your partner and the union will have a good chance

Number 3 is a table shaker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rq4u5VeBIYo
Part 3 (video version)

How you think about money is crucial

Which of these wrong mindsets above are you struggling with?

Which mindsets do you have

MrBrownJay1:
i beg to differ...



although that r/ship wouldnt last, a person CAN deny their partner sex for as long as they desire.



for many people, yes it is.... somebody is indeed fantasizing about these baby whales out there.



YES o... unless you want to remain sexually miserable for the rest of your natural life.

Watching the video will make you see that the mindsets listed in the OP are wrong not correct

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BQgbnwNEoU

Statistically money causes quarrels a lot in marriage. It starts from how you manage yourselves and relationships at the beginning.

To be alive costs money. Don't play with the course of money as it encompasses your whole life.

Mixing love and money without understanding them will cause explosion.

Talk to each other to know what each other's dreams are and agree.

Do an exercise asking - if you get 100 million what will you and your wife do?

Now Answer these questions
1. Top 3 things you do when money is given to you?

2. Who does the money belong to in a marriage? Husband, wife or both of you?

3. In a home, who determines how money is spent in the family?

4. If for any reason the other parties income stops, what would you do for that person?

Would you; (a) Give them money? (b) Wait to be asked? (c) Spend your own together? (d) Give them a monthly allowance?

5. What's your view on how your partner spends money?

6. Who is more financially prudent in your relationship?

7. While dating, who pays the bills? When you get married who should pay them?

8. When you are to give away money who decides where it should be given, who to give, and how much?

9. Do you want to have a joint account? (Hint: if there's no joint account, there should be joint accountability in your marriage)

The answer to all the questions above is that you and your partner must be on the same page regarding all of them.

Pick someone that has good financial habits from the beginning

Mindsets
#1 God is my source - don't marry someone because you think that they are the key to your financial breakthrough (Romans 10:12). Aim to be rich yourself

#2 Every human being must work - God blesses the works of our hands. Both male and female should work (business, employee, self-employed or investor). 2Thess 3:10. Don't go into marriage with the mindset that someone else will pay all your bills and you will just relax. You are expected to bring something to the table. Don't have an entitlement mentality.

A woman that can't pay her own bills and transportation shouldn't be thinking of marriage.

If you are acquired like furniture, you will be treated like furniture in the marriage. How many men when going out of the house tell their chair that they will be right back?

#3 Not only men should provide in the family - it's not biblical, but more cultural, to think that men should be the main provider in the house.

Nowadays, men and women are working and a woman may even be earning more than a man.

Thinking men should be the main provider is what is leading to marriage crashing in societies where there is a lot of equality.

A woman needs to know how to make money as well to prevent dependency, and crisis if the marriage ends due to death or some other reason.

#4 Finances in marriage is not 50:50 - having the mindset that it is will make you become resentful after a while.

It should be done by love not by law, it is about generosity not responsibility (nobody falls in love with their business partner).

You should be struggling to give to each other. This applies to every area including sex, prayer, etc.

Both parties should bring 100:100 and 2 are better than 1 but when one falls the other helps them up.

What husband and wife should be tussling about in a marriage is what who should do for who not what who should receive from who.

Once you start dividing things issues will come up

#5 Marriage is a covenant Gen2:24 - nothing should separate you. No more my in the marriage but our own.

If you can't trust someone with your money it means you can't trust them with your life.

#6 When it comes to finances you must be responsible - don't be a wasteful person or a deadweight in the relationship.

Don't be lazy, if you lose your job as the man or woman, be useful in some other ways (market runs, school runs, cooking, cleaning).

Everybody needs to be responsible as the habit you are forming now will affect you in marriage.

#7 Whoever is more financially prudent should manage the family finances

#8 Be on the same page about your financial goals

How to deal with a financially reckless partner

- If you are dating, know you can and should walk away if things don't change after communicating with them

- Pray for wisdom about the situation and that the person will be receptive to your concerns

- Have conversations about it. Don't make the conversation emotional. Confront lovingly, don't attack the person.

- Protect yourself by saving a portion of the money you both earn. Have an emergency savings fund.

- If the account is a joint one, put it as both to sign not either to sign.

- Make sure you plan your income, don't leave idle money around.

- Put aside flexing money for them.

- Be assertive in putting your foot down to decline unreasonable requests but do so respectfully

- Make sure you start correcting the faults you are seeing in your partner, in your children, so they don't repeat same when older.

- Demonstrate the benefits of good financial habits to your partner

- War never proves who is right only who is left. Fight not to win the argument but to win the agreement.