₦airaland Forum

Blu03:
martinez would call this a logical advice. No valid points, but laced with sentiments.

Blu03:
It's easier to condemn what one doesn't know than for him/her to take time and effort to understand it.
A single mother, a woman who brings up her children without the support of a male partner or husband, is more than often stigmatized by the society. By individuals who ought to understand the struggle she faces and the helplessness of her situation. Afterall, being the provider is no easy feat.
Any married man can testify.
There are several reasons why certain women end up as single mothers.
Rape
This isn't something that is new to any of us. Most women have been sexually abused by men. And coupled with the traumatic experience, they got pregnant.
Love
A decent lady is swept of her feet by a sugar coated tongue. She has sex with her deceptive lover who absconds the moment he finds that she's pregnant.
Violence
A woman who is married to an abusive partner might wisely decide to leave him for both her safety and that of the kids.
Deadbeat fathers, etc
The honest truth is that these women chose, against all odds to raise their children. Is that the sin we so ignorantly judge? A woman's love and dedication for her children. A woman who sacrifices everything especially her youth and takes up the responsibilities of a man. A woman who refused to either have an abortion or abandon her kids.
Derogatory words are used to refer to these women. While single fathers are sympathised with. Same as widows who had no control, single mothers are women who didn't plan their fate.
To most, a woman raising her kids alone is simply the repercussion of her mistakes and not the effect of a man who couldn't handle the heat of having responsibilities.
Most men beat their chest and when asked what they have to offer, proudly state that as a male, he is the foundation on which a proper home is built. As the head, his utmost duty is to protect and provide for his family. Do these men not the error of the ways of their mates? Or the woman must take the fall, even for the sins of a man.
It leads me to ask the question. Is the problem loving a man? or the refusal to have an abortion? or to run away leaving behind helpless children with no parents?

All are quite easy to do. A mother's conscience and love prevents her...

Mind you, women who abandon her children are not fit to referred to as humans.

The Worst thing A Full Fledged Man will ever do is to marry a single Mom. Like Wtf,u no see all these fresh girls roaming everywhere and u wan carry responsibility wea no be your own put on top ur matter[b]



[b]TO THOSE THAT DO IT,TUALE !!!!!

Primera001:
When will african continent produce people like this.....
I can still remember the golden age of Drogba Eto okocha yaya Toure...
I just hope that Salah will add his name in the golden book

CAPSLOCKED:
YOU'RE NOT A VERY SMART GENTLEMAN. YOU'RE THROWING PUNCHES IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. IF YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHY IT'S SO BAD TO DATE OR MARRY A SINGLE MOM, YOU LOOK FOR SOMETHING ELSE TO DO INSTEAD OF INVOLVING MY PARENTS IN YOUR MENACE. ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO MATTER TO ME BUT I'M EMBARRASSED ON BEHALF OF REDPILL MEN, HOW A REDPILLER GOD SUCH AS YOU WILL BE CATCHING CRUISE WITH MY PARENTS IN ORDER TO SCORE POINTS.
FOR THE LAST TIME, THE WHEREABOUTS OF MY FAMILY IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS. YOU EITHER TELL ME WHY YOU DESPISE SINGLE MOMS, OR GO AND DIE WITH YOUR CANCEROUS MISOGYNY.

Have u ever seen a match that starts with 1-0 down ??

Petyprincess:
You have probably mistaken for your sister village goat!! I can see u crave for my attention so bad that you have been throwing shade to every comment about me just for me to notice your miserable nd pathetic life!! Since the day you were shooting ur shot at me in food section bt realized i ain't into dumb men like you since then you have been really bitter, I hope whatever is bothering your pathetic life be solved!!
This will be my last mention,you can continue clout chasing with my name looser!!

faithugo64:
Leave all these stories

DO NOT SLEEP WITH A WOMAN YOU CAN NOT GET MARRIED TO! FULL STOP

funmisticqueen2:
so, she should live her life based on a mistake two of you made.

OR will she transfer the pregnancy for you to carry?

[s]Marrying her is accepting responsibility for your actions as a man.[/s] Carrying the pregnancy is accepting responsibility as a woman.Every male orgasm has the ability to bear child, every female orgasm does not.

Abort, you refuse to allow her abort, because men like you want women to die through unsafe abortions. After all, dead women tell no tales. Change laws you refused.



This is why I say that most men don't deserve to transfer their sperm to the next generation. No man is worth visiting the labor room more than once.

Op and his supporters are male depravity at its peak

Michellekabod2:
You aren't a young man ,and yet you refuse to grow

Oya u dah have grown,re u sensible ?

Rekhina:
anuohia

Exciting:
As the subject reads..

I am in love with two guys.
The 1st: A 23yrs old finalist in a university. We've dated for 2years.. He is wonderful I must say. But I feel he may not be ready for marriage in the nearest future though he said he wants to settle down with me at the right time.

The 2nd: A 37yr old. Working, ready for marriage..Met him few months ago and I'm beginning to like him. He has an 11yrs old boy. His wife cheated and they broke up (according to him)

And me: A 23yrs old. COE graduate. Has side hustles...

I don't know if I should wait for my bf or get serious with someone that is ready for marriage before I grow old waiting...


I need help please... #modified

Rekhina:
I know how she feels , life is cruel
But fake female nairalanders with their stupid redpills fools will curse her for Nothing ,

Useless novices everywhere

Davash222:
If she’s a Nigerian, she must cheat on you.

It’s in the constitution.

Michellekabod2:
I don't know exactly what situation you're in right now, but you can probably relate to this...

Your man just doesn't want to "talk about it"...

No matter how hard you try, and how much you encourage him to talk... he just doesn't.

(So damn frustrating sometimes!)

Well, there's a good reason behind this. Let me explain...

For a moment, just imagine a man you really like, it could be anyone, from anywhere or any time. It could be your current boyfriend, an ex lover, or a celebrity crush or perhaps even Jesus Christ (if you're into that).

Imagine you're having a reasonably good time together as a man and a woman, and then, suddenly, he suggests that you compete in a boxing match, because you'd be great at boxing, and even if you get beaten black and blue, it's cool, 'cause you're a strong woman.

LOL. I just can't help giggling at what I just wrote and how weird that would be. What a weird experience it would be, to have a man say that to you. Would you enjoy that?

I mean, really?

Would you feel that this man LOVES you if he said that to you?

Nope. The answer's pretty easy, right?

May I ask why? Well, you might tell me there any many reasons.

I'm sure you have many reasons.

But there's only ONE real reason, and that's where all the other reasons stem from: He's assuming you thrive on challenge. When in fact, this kind of challenge does NOT make you feel good, let alone make you feel like a woman, and feel radiant and attractive and loved.

Now, I don't care how much you might LOVE boxing.

(Hey, I personally love to do some boxing for fitness and it's kinda fun, but to compete as a boxer)

This is ALL contextual of course, right?

So what I mean is... when a man you LIKE suggests this to you - you feel an instant loss of attraction and definitely a loss of love.

And the problem with a man you like suggesting this is that he thinks YOU would thrive on the challenge of risking being beaten in the boxing ring.

Again, boxing for fitness and having your man suggest you be a boxing competitor are different things. And would make you FEEL different things.

Just try and imagine, for a minute, how this would feel in your body. Maybe make the sound, out loud, in response to how it would make you feel for a man to say that to you.

This is pretty much how a man feels when you try to sit him down and 'talk about it'.

If this happened to me, I'd probably respond with: "Uh, excuse me, but what the hell."

Now we've done that quick exercise, you might probably be wondering where this is going.

Well, this is how masculine men feel when you try to get him to 'talk' about a relationship issue.

Now, HIS feelings will not be exactly the same as yours. He's a man, so he feels differently to you, and plus, I'm NOT a man so I can only do my compassionate best to paint the picture here, without actually owning a set of male genitals and male hormones.

And let me explain what "talking" about "stuff" and talking 'through' stuff does to a man.

In short, it deflates him and makes him feel less of a man.

Masculinity thrives on challenges. Talking reduces his energy, and DRAINS him.

Yet get THIS - talking, enlivens YOU, as a woman.

I've noticed that, whenever I'm crabby and irritated, a TALK always lights me up. My man has pointed it out to me before. And even if I try to deny it, I know it's true.

Words, talking, and sharing of verbal energy (through talking) heals me, and makes me feel something like..."OK! Ready to go now!" and takes me out of my down and moody state.

For my man though, whenever I put him through this, by the end of the talk, when I'm enlivened and giggling and bubbly again, he's possibly dragging his feet along the floor panting, trying to regain his energy! And feeling pretty bad.

And that's not even the worst case scenario. He could also be pissed off. MEN GET NOTHING OUT OF TALKING THROUGH THINGS. That's if he's a masculine man, and if he's in a masculine state, which is most of the time, for 80% of men.

Men have feminine energy too. Men have a need for love too (which is the feminine), but their natural state and normal equilibrium is in their masculine energy.

Now, this doesn't mean men don't like to talk, discuss, scheme and explore issues verbally. They just don't like to talk about something that has no end result, and has no purpose. Full stop.

So, when you try to 'talk things through' with a man, not only is he feeling it as a total burden on his life, he's wondering what the hell is going on, most probably. And why you can't just get to the point.

The worst part is....he's feeling you TAKING value from his life, rather than adding value to his life. This is one thing that differentiates a High Value Woman from a low value woman - the ability to give value in a way that men perceive value. Not just give value in the way a woman would perceive value.

This doesn't mean you have to become a man, or to be masculine, it just means you act from a place of compassion rather than compulsion.

The problem with your need to talk? You're a woman, and no, there is no point to the majority of what we want to talk about.

To a woman there is. Not to a man.

I've learned that trying to talk through an issue (especially something to do with the relationship) doesn't work, and I stopped it probably over a year ago, with my man. This doesn't mean we don't talk - not at all.

We talk a lot. But when we DO talk, I make sure that he has a reason to feel successful and appreciated for being present with me afterwards.

And I don't talk to him about something I'm dissatisfied with about the relationship, ever! I don't even have to force myself to stop, because I've learned and trained my body to realise that this is not making my relationship with him any better, and now, I associate more PAIN with bringing up relationship 'issues' with him than I do pleasure.

I might tell him how frustrated I am, and I still have emotional outbursts a lot; but they are much better than the terrible thing women try to do by sitting a man down to 'talk things through' like the man and woman are under a business transaction.

Usually, women do this to try to get something from the man. It's not a nice thing to do. And it's ok if you've done it, because we all have. Sometimes we just need someone to tell us that men don't like it, in order for us to realise that it just doesn't serve our relationship at all!

A man will either refuse to sit down and talk things through with you, or eventually, he will, if you make him feel successful through talking to you somehow.

For most women though, that's like asking them to run a marathon on the spot. Because to do that, is counter-intuitive for a woman.

So, is there a solution?

Yes, there is.

The solution is to GIVE value first, before taking any value.

Yes, trying to 'talk about it' is TAKING value. Remember, I am saying this in context of dealing with males. Not females.

The answer instead of trying to talk things through, is to add some value first, that way, you'll be far more likely to get what you want and need.

So, if something is seriously troubling you about the relationship, think carefully. Think hard. What is it that you want?

It's usually more of his presence or more of his attention, which is all related to more of his COMMITMENT. Most things you want boil right down to that!

And guess how you can get that?

By being committed to him first.

Now, for a woman, giving commitment, you will not give it in the way a man would.

Commitment is different when it comes from a feminine place.

And always remember, men perceive value completely different than women . It’s a different ball game, and we can’t use our feminine thinking and apply that to men.

P.S. Sometimes men will tell you that they are NOT ready for a commitment… What does that really mean anyway? And what should you do when he says that?

Renee Wade,

Founder of the feminine woman.

HRHQueenPhil:
Girl can propose to a guy is not an impossible thing
There is church service tomorrow tagged covenant day of open doors at living faith church winners chapel cananland Ota. Or attend d one closest to you. Time is 7:45, 9:45 or 11am. It's an anointing service. Am confident as u come, all closed doors in the aspect of ur relationships and finance will give way this month

Ishilove:
We cannot come online to form independent women yet cannot pay our own bills. These men are not our ATM machines. If a woman constantly hangs all her bukata on her partner then she is a liability. A leech. A parasite. Pay your own darned bills and stop being a leech.

However, since love is giving and sharing, let the gifts come from the heart because it is not by force o.

Chi59:
I don't give a fvck if he's satisfied or not. I am "not" beautiful, period.

makydebbie:
This is absolutely unnecessary.
Dominique, Farano, Mynd44 rule 2.

Amebo

Chi59:
Uncle na val. No be wedding.

binary007:
You will get no validation even if you pay for it.
See teeth like Ceramic jug.

MrCork:
..I haven't had punnnnnny for 3 hours

Blu03:
he asked someone else to be his val.
So i'm single.
Hand me a damn bottle offpoint..!

It strictly for those not younger than 18