EasternPrince:

You really don't know how bad the situation is. I avoid commenting on such treads myself due to goings-on. 'Gender War' is apt description for it..

Oh, no! One of the red pilled kings just arrived. Mart. Others will soon follow. They'll light up this place in no time!

Bro, the red-pill thing is a fairly new concept in the sense that they only just gave a tag name to something that has been in existence for ages...
As such, I only just watch it all for the fun of it.

I've been in the game since the late 90's, way way before there was anything like a red-pill.

Martinez39s:
No one is stigmatizing single mothers. If you want to be a single mother, feel free but don't expect smart men to marry you and deal with you and your baby daddy's baggage when they could have acquired a fresh product and start their own families. Actions have consequences.

no one is asking you to 'carry their baggage'. Just don't slutshame them. By the way, most single moms prefer mature and more experienced men, especially single dads and widowers. Not young men like yourself.
Who wants another fvckboy added to the list.

crackkhaus:

Sassy, these romance section girls don't have the capacity to understand all this you're typing.

Leave them for me, let me do what I do best and trigger them into making a complete foōl of themselves.

I don't know who is messing up their head and they will go to the real world with this.
Tomorrow, they will marry and divorce and start crying up and down.
Cool down and get the best man, they will not.

I know of some past monikers here who ended up bad in relationship because of listening to the rubbish I see here everyday. They will want others to fail like them so they dish out the same useless advise that these ones follow and sure, in no time they end up like them.

Martinez39s:
I am not stopping anyone from living their life.

No, you are just making it difficult for them to endure life. That recent thread of yours and the one before that can make a woman upset enough to commit suicide.

crackkhaus:
Yes you do, emphatically.

nope. Wrong person

EasternPrince:

No, you are just making it difficult for them to endure life. That recent thread of yours and the one before that can make a woman upset enough to commit suicide.

Words hurt you if you let them. You can't shame the shameless and you can't verbally ruffle and pressurize those who don't give a śhit about your opinion. I never shamed, insulted, or tried to make anyone's life difficult. I only tell the truth. We can agree to disagree. Have a nice day.

EasternPrince:


No, you are just making it difficult for them to endure life. That recent thread of yours and the one before that can make a woman upset enough to commit suicide.

exactly. Someone is already carrying something that's stronger than her. Must you make it more difficult?

Blu03:
no one is asking you to 'carry their baggage'. Just don't slutshame them. By the way, most single moms prefer mature and more experienced men, especially single dads and widowers. Not young men like yourself.
Who wants another fvckboy added to the list.

I don't know why him and the airhead called crackkhaus assume this is wailing. The topic is "don't stigmatize",only those that stigmatize SM should be here defending themselves.
Why is simple English hard for some people?
Some people are sugar-coating stigmatization and justifying it.
Others are forcing ladies to commit abortion to be spared their criticism.

SMH

Wisdom is indeed far from those that claim to be wise.

sassysure:


I don't know who is messing up their head and they will go to the real world with this.
Tomorrow, they will marry and divorce and start crying up and down.
Cool down and get the best man, they will not.

I know of some past monikers here who ended up bad in relationship because of listening to the rubbish I see here everyday. They will want others to fail like them so they dish out the same useless advise that these ones follow and sure, in no time they end up like them.

you comment and my post don't tally...
I'm not advising women but the men who slut shame single mothers. Most of whom are victims. Except the baby mamas who get pregnant for financial gain.
What's your point?

EasternPrince:


No, you are just making it difficult for them to endure life. That recent thread of yours and the one before that can make a woman upset enough to commit suicide.

you think sane people take the words of kids to heart? I only have an issue with calling others names period.

Fountainofyouth:



All your words where you used "she, mother", change it to "he, father", and advice based on that, without removing or adding anything, I await your response, thank you.

Let me do as you want.

- first point, if he is a single dad, living with his children. What does he have to offer?
Good. A man living with his children already oozes of responsibilities, normally women are the ones who come as liabilities. Seeing a single dad who takes care of his children should tell you he has enough to take care of you. In this case, it's actually an advantage.

- second point, what if you love the children like your own, and they turn towards their real mother oneday?
Well, I wouldn't lie, this can be a real issue, but want thing I can say is that the tendency of children to leave their adopted dad for their biological one is way higher than that of them leaving the adopted mom for their biological mom, especially when you take them as your own. That said, this is still a very big problem to consider.

- Finally, why did the former woman leave him?
Realistically speaking, after a break up and the children remain with the dad, you won't even take time to fault the former woman because, children in most cases stay with their mothers after separation.
Would he leave me for his ex?
There is a tendency of this, but it becomes extremely minimal when the man already started a new family with you.
Is he a LovePeddler?
Any man can hoe around and the society would keep a blind eye. If he wants to start a family with you he is probably tired of the w'horing.

The truth is most often, single dad's are not that bad of a choice, while it is the opposite for the ladies.

I am not being sexist, I am being realistic.

Peace once again.

Blu03:
no one is asking you to 'carry their baggage'. Just don't slutshame them. By the way, most single moms prefer mature and more experienced men, especially single dads and widowers. Not young men like yourself.
Who wants another fvckboy added to the list.

So they, and by they, I mean that michellecardboard character already knows this, yet she's giving herself a wedgie over my statement that single mothers should only be with single fathers...lol

You people should pick your problem, let's deal with it once and for all.

Blu03:
no one is asking you to 'carry their baggage'. Just don't slutshame them.

Why then are you feeling like people are stigmatizing single mothers when they give logical reasons for avoiding single mothers in the dating market? I never said anyone wanted me to carry their baggage and I never slutshamed single mothers. You are just manufacturing my opinions and arguing with the figment of your imagination.

I will no longer respond to you. Have a nice day.

By the way, most single moms prefer mature and more experienced men, especially single dads and widowers. Not young men like yourself.
Who wants another fvckboy added to the list.

Na so.

Michellekabod2:
I don't know why him and the airhead called crackkhaus assume this is wailing. The topic is "don't stigmatize",only those that stigmatize SM should be here defending themselves.
Why is simple English hard for some people?
Some people are sugar-coating stigmatization and justifying it.
Others are forcing ladies to commit abortion to be spared their criticism.

SMH

Wisdom is indeed far from those that claim to be wise.

You won't be able to ignore to save your own life

What do you want from me exactly?

4ckz:
There are red flags when choosing a partner, and in the history of red flags, I think being a single mom is the redest.

Forget about alpha male and feminism and the rest of it OP. I want you to reason things practically.

- What do simple moms offer really? I mean, in the real sense, what? As it is already, most women are liabilities, now you add children. No man should walk into that huge responsibility, unless atleast the woman can foot half of the bills at least.

- OK, let's say you ignore the status quo, you marry a single mom, you learn to love the children like your own. There is always a HIGH probability that the children would want to be with their biological father one. Even if say na me, no matter how u love me, once I grow up, I go like meet my real papa.
Worst case they leave you, best case, they share their paternal love with you.

- Then, let's talk about the woman, why did the last person leave her? Abi na only you like left overs.
Or, why did she divorce (if married) she fit do the same to you.
She might still have a soft side for the dude, afterall he is the father of her kids.
She might be a LovePeddler (highly probable).


Most single moms are not worth it, unless a widow. There are exceptions though, but they are VERY FEW. I can't build by life on such a low probability.

Peace!

Correct

Blu03:

It's easier to condemn what one doesn't know than for him/her to take time and effort to understand it.
A single mother, a woman who brings up her children without the support of a male partner or husband, is more than often stigmatized by the society. By individuals who ought to understand the struggle she faces and the helplessness of her situation. Afterall, being the provider is no easy feat.
Any married man can testify.
There are several reasons why certain women end up as single mothers.
Rape
This isn't something that is new to any of us. Most women have been sexually abused by men. And coupled with the traumatic experience, they got pregnant.
Love
A decent lady is swept of her feet by a sugar coated tongue. She has sex with her deceptive lover who absconds the moment he finds that she's pregnant.
Violence
A woman who is married to an abusive partner might wisely decide to leave him for both her safety and that of the kids.
Deadbeat fathers, etc
The honest truth is that these women chose, against all odds to raise their children. Is that the sin we so ignorantly judge? A woman's love and dedication for her children. A woman who sacrifices everything especially her youth and takes up the responsibilities of a man. A woman who refused to either have an abortion or abandon her kids.
Derogatory words are used to refer to these women. While single fathers are sympathised with. Same as widows who had no control, single mothers are women who didn't plan their fate.
To most, a woman raising her kids alone is simply the repercussion of her mistakes and not the effect of a man who couldn't handle the heat of having responsibilities.
Most men beat their chest and when asked what they have to offer, proudly state that as a male, he is the foundation on which a proper home is built. As the head, his utmost duty is to protect and provide for his family. Do these men not the error of the ways of their mates? Or the woman must take the fall, even for the sins of a man.
It leads me to ask the question. Is the problem loving a man? or the refusal to have an abortion? or to run away leaving behind helpless children with no parents?

All are quite easy to do. A mother's conscience and love prevents her...

Mind you, women who abandon her children are not fit to referred to as humans.

The Worst thing A Full Fledged Man will ever do is to marry a single Mom. Like Wtf,u no see all these fresh girls roaming everywhere and u wan carry responsibility wea no be your own put on top ur matter[b]



[b]TO THOSE THAT DO IT,TUALE !!!!!



Please,if ur still a jam bite or not up to 20,don't ever try to quote or mention me.

Blu03:
you comment and my post don't tally...
I'm not advising women but the men who slut shame single mothers. Most of whom are victims. Except the baby mamas who get pregnant for financial gain.
What's your point?

.

Blu03:
nope. Wrong person

How would you know?

Michellekabod2:
I don't know why him and the airhead called crackkhaus assume this is wailing. The topic is "don't stigmatize",only those that stigmatize SM should be here defending themselves.
Why is simple English hard for some people?
Some people are sugar-coating stigmatization and justifying it.
Others are forcing ladies to commit abortion to be spared their criticism.

SMH

Wisdom is indeed far from those that claim to be wise.

if you ask why single moms are bad, a guy would say that they are liable to commit abortions which is a 'disgusting' act that no sane person should do...
Exactly! I don't understand too..
Eye defects, perhaps.
Some read the title and saw "MEN YOU MUST MARRY A SINGLE MOTHER"
I laugh anytime i read that single moms aren't stigmatized.

Blu03:
you comment and my post don't tally...
I'm not advising women but the men who slut shame single mothers. Most of whom are victims. Except the baby mamas who get pregnant for financial gain.
What's your point?

I read what u wrote and corrected some abnormalies I found there.
Any problem with that if I may ask

Blu03:
Cc: 4cks
Well, i get the '...wanting to meet their biological father...' point.
But not every adopted child would do that. If the kid is loyal, he/she would realise that family isn't all about blood but the person(s) who has/have stood by him or her.
Again, before marrying any woman, single mom or not, one has to first study her character...
But the message i'm trying to pass isn't "Guys marry a single mom" but "Guys stop hating on someone who's already going through alot"

I understand you now. The hate is bad, I actually in the real sense pity (not hate single mothers) but I pity their children more.

Martinez39s:
Why then are you feeling like people are stigmatizing single mothers when they give logical reasons for avoiding single mothers in the dating market? I never said anyone wanted me to carry their baggage and I never slutshamed single mothers. You are just manufacturing my opinions and arguing with the figment of your imagination.

I will no longer respond to you. Have a nice day.

Na so.

logical advice, sure!
I wouldn't advise a young woman to marry a single dad
But don't throw shades...
Atleast we agree on that, right?

sassysure:


I don't know who is messing up their head and they will go to the real world with this.
Tomorrow, they will marry and divorce and start crying up and down.
Cool down and get the best man, they will not.

I know of some past monikers here who ended up bad in relationship because of listening to the rubbish I see here everyday. They will want others to fail like them so they dish out the same useless advise that these ones follow and sure, in no time they end up like them.

Victim mentality is strong amongst the brethren

Don't stigmatise, don't stigmatise...as if anyone is holding a gun to their heads or stringing them up for the gallows.

Anyone that doesn't have the self-esteem to withstand this so-called stigmatisation is on their own.

The best thing a single parent can do for themselves is to hold themselves in high-esteem and not pay attention to whatever ridicule they claim is directed at them. Trying to make it seem like they are the best choice out there when common sense shows they are not, is just stvpid.

crackkhaus:


So they, and by they, I mean that michellecardboard character already knows this, yet she's giving herself a wedgie over my statement that single mothers should only be with single fathers...lol

You people should pick your problem, let's deal with it once and for all.

we're going in circles. I'm dizzy and tired

Michellekabod2:
point out where I have opened a wailing thread or solicited for males to marry non-virgins and single moms.

I never said you have opened wailing threads or solicited for males to marry non-virgins and single moms. I said you I am sure that you, as a woman, will believe in those things when it suits you. Comprehension is really not your strong point.

You aren't a man of logical and sound arguments. You are weak. I see your posts from a place a pain. I see an unfufilled man who has a passion to liberate men from their perceived enemies because you have been burnt by ladies before.

Blah blah blah blah. Shaming tactics dead on arrival.

what do you call calling people whor€s,losers etc if not stigmatization?[/quoto] Why do we call poor people broke if not stigmatization?

[quote]This proves my postulations about you are right,you have being a victim of female manipulation ,thus you suspect all other ladies do so

Trying to insist I sound pained? Wanna ask who hurt me? Cut the crap and go ahead.

AstroG:


The Worst thing A Full Fledged Man will ever do is to marry a single Mom. Like Wtf,u no see all these fresh girls roaming everywhere and u wan carry responsibility wea no be your own put on top ur matter[b]



[b]TO THOSE THAT DO IT,TUALE !!!!!



[s] Please,if ur still a jam bite or not up to 20,don't ever try to quote or mention me. [/s]

martinez would call this a logical advice. No valid points, but laced with sentiments.

4ckz:



Let me do as you want.

- first point, if he is a single dad, living with his children. What does he have to offer?
Good. A man living with his children already oozes of responsibilities, normally women are the ones who come as liabilities. Seeing a single dad who takes care of his children should tell you he has enough to take care of you. In this case, it's actually an advantage.

- second point, what if you love the children like your own, and they turn towards their real mother oneday?
Well, I wouldn't lie, this can be a real issue, but want thing I can say is that the tendency of children to leave their adopted dad for their biological one is way higher than that of them leaving the adopted mom for their biological mom, especially when you take them as your own. That said, this is still a very big problem to consider.

- Finally, why did the former woman leave him?
Realistically speaking, after a break up and the children remain with the dad, you won't even take time to fault the former woman because, children in most cases stay with their mothers after separation.
Would he leave me for his ex?
There is a tendency of this, but it becomes extremely minimal when the man already started a new family with you.
Is he a LovePeddler?
Any man can hoe around and the society would keep a blind eye. If he wants to start a family with you he is probably tired of the w'horing.

The truth is most often, single dad's are not that bad of a choice, while it is the opposite for the ladies.

I am not being sexist, I am being realistic.

Peace once again.

I admire your honesty,you were honest enough to admit this is from the lens of the society. You called this reality and not that you defended your stance as the right way of living. Kudos on that.

There is reality,and there is the a logical way of doing things. There is a margin between the two.
Sadly people like Martinez39 call reality the truth and a logical way of life(off course only when it suits him,when it deals with a man being the sole provider in a relationship,he hates that part of reality). He embraces realities that favor men but frowns at realities that favor women(financial dependency on men).

He alongside the f00l called crackkhaus do this all the time. Shame though. Shame.

But aren't we shapers of reality? Do we settle for what society lays out for us or change for the better? The op is trying to change reality for the better.

Martinez39s:
I never said you have opened wailing threads or solicited for males to marry non-virgins and single moms. I said you I am sure that you, as a woman, will believe in those things when it suits you. Comprehension is really not your strong point.

Blah blah blah blah. Shaming tactics dead on arrival.

Nah I never shamed you for your pitiable state,I only felt sorry for you. You call this shaming yet you call tagging people LovePeddler£s,losers et Al as "truth" and not shaming?

Blu03:
martinez would call this a logical advice. No valid points, but laced with sentiments.

.

Michellekabod2:

There is nothing to understand about that reason. It is definitely coming from a place of bruised ego. If I marry a single dad,I will try to mediate peace between the kid and his /her estranged mom . I will not feel envious if he/she reunites with his/her biological mum.


Don't expect to get a tangible reason from male naira landers for their stigma against single moms. Sadly the bigots find nothing wrong with single dads.
Surprising how people make themselves adjudicators over others. Call them unfit to be alpha males and they cry foul.

Its their choice to marry who they wish,but adjudging SM and calling them derogatory names is wrong

I laughed hard when I saw this comment.

In my comment I didn't include the possibility of the incoming spouse trying to mediate a better relationship btw the children and the estranged parent. Let me consider it now.

Say you enter, initially try hard to mediate things between them and it doesn't work, you then proceed to take the children as your's, probably train them for like 18+ years, train them till they become people in the society, then one day, after so many years, they leave you for their real mom, how would you feel?
The love for a child is much deeper than that for a spouse mind you, how will you cope?
Or you think it's just by typing on Nairaland.

I try my best to make you see things realistically, not with the eye of social media. Of course, it would be easy to deal with on social media, but in real life, how you wan take handle am?

Michellekabod2:

Nah I never shamed you for your pitiable state,I only felt sorry for you. You call this shaming yet you call tagging people LovePeddler£s,losers et Al as "truth" and not shaming?

Cunning creature. You deliberately avoided the remaining part of my post just to bring the emboldened statement know fully well that I responded to that. Have a nice day.

Lol, this girl is just gonna keep typing my handle and giving me mentions

I'm beside myself...can't believe I got so deep under your skin.