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Astutechris's Posts

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Jokes EtcRe: 10 Types Of Invigilators U Meet In The Exam Hall by Astutechris(m): 3:30pm On Jun 20, 2015
NervousErection:
Nice one.
More;
- the ones who seem to stare at you and you alone for the duration of the exam
- the ones who will go 'Sssshhh' at random intervals, regardless of the noise levels.
- the ones who hide at one corner of the exam room. You will never know they are still around until you decide to talk or make some moves, you will just see them at your back
#lol grin grin grin
Jokes EtcRe: 10 Types Of Invigilators U Meet In The Exam Hall by Astutechris(m): 3:27pm On Jun 20, 2015
Lolz so true. But you didn't mention the one that annoys me the most:
-The ones that will make announcement from the start of the exam to the end.
Jokes EtcRe: Stupid Students by Astutechris(m): 3:09pm On Jun 20, 2015
Lolz
PoliticsWhat Saraki Told Obasanjo At Closed-door Meeting - Premiumtimes by Astutechris(op):
Facts have emerged showing why Senate President Bukola Saraki led a delegation of Senators to meet former President Olusegun Obasanjo at his hilltop mansion, Abeokuta, Ogun state on Friday.
A source close to the meeting told PREMIUM TIMES that the Senate President was in Abeokuta to beg Mr. Obasanjo to reconcile him with President Muhammadu Buhari and his party, the All Progressives Congress, APC.
Mr. Saraki emerged as the president of the Senate against the decision of APC leaders. He was also elected when most Senators from the APC were at the International Conference Centre waiting to hold a meeting with Mr. Buhari to discuss the election of the Senate president and Speaker of the House of Representatives.
Our sources said Mr. Saraki lamented to Mr. Obasanjo that although the party leaders have stated that they have accepted his emergence, there was “complete communication breakdown between him, the president and the party”.
The national chairman of the APC, John Oyegun, had abruptly cancelled a scheduled meeting with Mr. Saraki last week without giving another appointment.
Likewise, we also gathered that Mr. Saraki had tried severally to meet with Mr. Buhari after his emergence, but was always denied audience.
Another source in the presidency informed us that the President was angry with Mr. Saraki and the management of the national assembly for going ahead with their election despite adequate knowledge of an invitation for a meeting with Mr. Saraki and his colleagues.
“The president considered it as a mark of disrespect for his office for Saraki to ignore an invitation to meet with him and his colleagues,” our source said.
In his response to the Senate President’s lamentation, Mr. Obasanjo reportedly promised to do his best to “ensure communication between all parties”.
However, the spokesperson for the president, Garba Shehu, said the Senate president has never sought a meeting meeting with Mr. Buhari since his election.
“I am not aware of any request for a meeting, the president would have seen him, he represents a key institution in our democracy,” he said.
Calls to Mr. Saraki and his aide, Bamikole Omishore, were not answered.
Our source said the former president, in his usual jocular self, also joked with the delegation, saying “ you children of nowadays only run to elders when you have finished making the damage”.
Mr. Saraki and his entourage laughed.
A presidency official told PREMIUM TIMES President Buhari was aware of the the senate president’s visit to Mr. Obasanjo’s home.
The official said Messrs Buhari and Obasanjo are constantly in touch and regularly have telephone conversations.
The official said in one of their recent conversations, Mr. Obasanjo informed Mr. Buhari that Mr. Saraki was leading a delegation of Senators to his Abeokuta home.
“I overheard President Buhari laughing and saying to Mr. Obasanjo, “you have to see them, are they not all your boys?”, our presidency source said.
Among Mr. Saraki’s delegation include former governor of Gombe state, Danjuma Goje, Senator Andy Uba, former Zamfara governor, Ahmed Sani, and former Osun governor, Olagunsoye Oyinlola.
Mr. Saraki and most members of his delegation are largely Mr. Obasanjo’s “boys”, a term loosely used in describing the former president’s staunch loyalists.




http://www.bookofy.com/how-to-make-money-online/
WebmastersHow To Setup Wordpress Latest Guide by Astutechris(op):
If you've ever had to teach yourself how to install Wordpress, you'll know it's nowhere near as easy as the "one click" installs make out.

Let alone showing customers or friends how to set up Wordpress.

Whether it's explaining the difference between a post and a page...

Or that the Publish button mysteriously disappears and is called Update instead as soon as it's been clicked...

Or what plugins are and which ones to install...

You end tearing your hair out.

Sure, you can get tutorials on sites like YouTube. But you have to know what you're looking for and then hope that the videos show you something close to the current version of Wordpress.

Not a version or two ago where the menus and options were different.

This video class was created using the latest version of wordpress which is version 4.1.2

In this video series you will learn:
How to set up web hosting
How to install Wordpress on your server
Changing the look of your site using themes
Adding functionality by installing plugins
Using pages, posts, categories and tags
Using Widgets
Using Menus
Setting up a blog
Setting up a site
Setting up a lead capture page

The video class has been divided into 8 parts as follows:
1. Introduction
2. Installation of WordPress
3. Plugin and Themes
4. Settings
5. Blog setup
6. Creating a website
7. Squeeze page
8. Theme and editing

You can get your copy of this amazing video series for just NGN350 only!
Visit http://www.bookofy.com/product/beginners-guide-to-wordpress/ to order now!
Science/TechnologyRe: We Now Generate 5,500 Megawatts Of Power, Says FG by Astutechris(m): 1:59pm On Apr 18, 2015
And where is the "5,500 MW" of electricity? Are they generating and sending to other countries? huh
Science/TechnologyRe: We Now Generate 5,500 Megawatts Of Power, Says FG by Astutechris(m): 1:55pm On Apr 18, 2015
And where is the "5,500 MW" of electricity? Are they generating and sending to other countries? huh huh
BusinessWhere To Buy Or Sell Ebook by Astutechris(op): 6:17pm On Apr 16, 2015
Finding a place to buy high quality eBooks in Nigeria at an affordable price or a marketplace where you can sell or promote your own eBooks to thousands of potential book reader has been a problem, but not anymore.
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What about book vendors? Bookofy got you all covered. Whether you are selling a sing book, or you are an e-Publisher looking for a platform to market your eBooks or you have some books you have the right to resell, all you have to do is to apply to be a Bookofy vendor and start selling.

Bookofy gives you 80% of the sales made from your books which you can withdraw to your local bank account at anytime.

Why should I Sell with Bookofy? Your book will be available to thousands of potential buyers in Nigeria. And more so, you don’t have to worry about how to accept payment from your customers. This will give you more time to write more books if you are an author or more time to do other things.

To find out more, visit www.bookofy.com.
To get updates on the latest digital books on town, follow Bookofy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bookofy and on twitter at www.twitter.com/bookofy.
Jokes EtcRe: Facebook Dislike Button by Astutechris(op): 10:26pm On Apr 15, 2015
Lol! You guys are very funny. I guess the title should have been "Nairaland Dislike Button"
Jokes EtcRe: Facebook Dislike Button by Astutechris(op): 8:52am On Apr 15, 2015
Lol!
Jokes EtcFacebook Dislike Button by Astutechris(op):
I think is about time Mark Zuckerberg includes Facebook "dislike" button. I seriously don't know why he will give us 'like' button without a 'dislike' button.
There some Facebook update you will and dislike them and you seriously want to show how u feel grin grin grin

What do u think guys?



http://www.bookofy.com/how-to-make-money-online/
PoliticsPDP Boasts Buhari, Atiku Put Together Can't Defeat Jonathan by Astutechris(op): 9:07pm On Dec 10, 2014
Abuja - The spokesperson of the People's Democratic
Party Olisa Metuh has dismissed threats posed to
President Goodluck Jonathan ahead of it's national
convention, Premium Times reported.

He has stated the All Progressive Party front line
contenders, Muhammadu Buhari and Atiku Abubakar put
together would not be able to defeat Jonathan as he would
still win the presidential election in 2015.
This was addressed at the National Secretariat in Abuja
today.
He further made comments that Nigerians would find it
easier to re-elect Goodluck Jonathan to be president
again.
PoliticsActress Wins APC Primaries by Astutechris(op): 7:56pm On Dec 10, 2014
Lagos - Another Nollywood star won the primaries to
represent the All Progressive Congress(APC) at the 2015
general elections, reports Pulse.ng
Actress Funke Adesiyan contested and won in the Oyo
State House of Assembly primaries of the APC.
She has thus followed in the footsteps of Desmond Elliot,
who also won the APC primary for the House of Assembly
in Lagos.
Meanwhile, afro folk singer, 91ce, is said to have appealed
his loss in the election.

The Yoruba actress has become one of the few
entertainers who have been able to translate their
popularity into a political career.
Funke who joined her colleagues like Desmond Elliot and
Kate Henshaw to try her hands in politics, will be aiming to
represent the Ibadan South-East State Constituency at the
Oyo State House of Assembly in next year’s polls.
Nairaland GeneralIG Cautions Nigerians On Xmas Gifts by Astutechris(op): 7:42pm On Dec 10, 2014
IG cautions Nigerians on Xmas gifts
The Inspector-General of Police, Suleiman Abba, has
cautioned Nigerians to be vigilant while receiving gifts
from unknown persons that may pose as friends during
the Yuletide season, to avoid explosive-laden hampers as
gifts.
The IG also warned against the use of fireworks and other
explosives during the celebration, noting that they could
cause distraction that may further heighten fear of
insecurity.
According to a statement, on Wednesday in Abuja, by the
Force Public Relations Officer, Emmanuel Ojukwu, the
police boss enjoined citizens to shun all forms of violence
and unlawful acts.
He also advised them to eschew bitterness and rancour
and urged them to go about their legitimate duties without
fear of intimidation during and after the festive season.
Meanwhile, the IG has directed all Zonal Assistant
Inspectors-General of Police and Command
Commissioners of Police, to take all necessary measures
in ensuring the provision of adequate security for
worshippers, travellers, picnickers and all citizens across
the country before, during, and after the festivity.
“Command Commissioners of Police are to personally
ensure that all key and vulnerable points within their
jurisdictions, including places of worship, recreation
centres, motor parks, highways, financial institutions and
all places of public resort are adequately and effectively
protected,” the statement added.

(Punch)
BusinessRe: Top 10 Richest Countries In Africa by Astutechris(op): 5:51pm On Dec 10, 2014
acenazt:
well you can Google all u don't understand. most of the terms are French. and Its sarcasm cos Every one should have known Nigeria has overtaken S.a
Hmmmm! I don't know you own source, but here is my source: http://nationalchronicleliberia.com/news/entertainment/681/the-10-richest-countries-in-africa-2014/
BusinessRe: Top 10 Richest Countries In Africa by Astutechris(op): 5:08pm On Dec 10, 2014
acenazt:
hehehheeh this O.P must be from France. where were you when The Nigerian Economy was Rebased? ohh you must have been at the cafe down at the Louvre sipping latte when Nigeria Floored S.A
Seriously, I don't understand you.
BusinessTop 10 Richest Countries In Africa by Astutechris(op): 4:52pm On Dec 10, 2014
1. South Africa GDP: $576.1 billion

2. Egypt GDP: $534.1 billion

3. Nigeria GDP: $444.3 billion

4. Algeria GDP: $272.5 billion

5. Morocco GDP: $168.9 billion

6. Angola GDP: $123.1 billion

7. Ethiopia GDP: $109 billion

8. Tunisia GDP: $104 billion

9. Ghana GDP: $82.65 billion

10. Libya GDP: $76.52 billion.
Jokes EtcRe: Wonder Shall Never End by Astutechris(op): 8:37pm On Dec 07, 2014
helvidius:
made in your village. grin
made in your village. grin
made in your village. grin
made in your village.
lol!
Jokes EtcMe And My Teacher by Astutechris(op): 8:17pm On Dec 07, 2014
TEACHER: who can tell me the full meaning of APC?
ME: All Past Criminals.
TEACHER: what is a joke?
ME: A joke is when APC members dream
of impeaching the President they didn't vote for....
TEACHER: define Ignorance?
ME: Ignorance is when APC law makers
illegally jumps
Over a fence to make law.
TEACHER: What is selfishness?
ME : Selfishness is when APC governors
impose their lackeys on the people and ask for a free
and fair elections from others....
TEACHER: What is silence?
ME : Silence is when GEJ is busy doing his
work and the APC is busy making noise, please rate me

#Copied
Jokes EtcWonder Shall Never End by Astutechris(op): 10:28pm On Nov 29, 2014
Imagine
i bought a dvd yesterday,,on getting
home,,i connected it to a source
without inserting
any disc,,, instead of displaying no
disc,,,, Guess what it displayed..
..
..
disc no dey..
I wondered,,,i inserted a disc
..
instead of it to display loading at the
upper
left corner...guess what it displayed..
..
..
e don dey load...
..
..
the dvd didnt show anything
So I looked at the back to confirm where it was made....
Guess what i saw...
..
..
..made in______?
question for you
Jokes EtcThermodynamics Of Political Chemistry (chem 411) by Astutechris(op): 12:19pm On Nov 28, 2014
THERMODYNAMICS OF POLITICAL CHEMISTRY (CHEM
411) 2ND SEMESTER EXAM.
TIME ALLOWED: 72 Hours.
QUESTION
1. In a reaction involving 70g of KWANKWASONIUM
sulphate and 53g of Janatine
carbonate, 2015g of presidium electorate acid was
produced.
i. Calculate the percentage purity of the product, assuming
the reaction took place under JEGA standard condition.
ii. Assuming that 3g of Ma'azuim Chloride was added
using Goodluckium solution, calculate the mass of
KWANKWASONIUM sulphate that would have been needed
for the reaction to be WINothermic?
iii. What is the colour of Goodluckium Chloride before and
after free and fair reaction?
iv. Calculate the molecular weight of the reactants and
products with respect to their
places on the electrochemicalseries of quality leadership
and state which is stronger and why.
v. Using their molecular numbers, prove that Jonatine
Chloride is weak and would need more INECium solution
from JEGAnium nitrate to be able to precipitate
KWANKWASONIUM from the reaction.
vi. Why is it that the solution of RIGium produced can't
react with APCium Nitrate but would react violently under
PDP Jonite acid?
Use of Four Rigging Table is not allowed in the exam hall.
Goodluck to you! grin grin grin
Jokes EtcRe: Funny SMS Fraud Conversation ;D by Astutechris(m): 7:18am On Nov 28, 2014
Very funny you. You have given me ideas on what to reply this scammer. I can't wait for their next SMS!
Nairaland GeneralPolice Don Upgrade! by Astutechris(op): 7:38pm On Nov 27, 2014
Once them hand don cross you waste:-
I No follow #7000
I dey but i know see #9000
I dey inside i know come out#11,000
I hear but i know see #13,000
I was there but i know put hand #15,000
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
They don really upgrade.
SportsMessi To Move To Chelsea In Summer by Astutechris(op): 7:29pm On Nov 27, 2014
Lionel Messi will reject bids from Arsenal and Manchester
United in favour of a move to Jose Mourinho's Chelsea
this summer. The Barcelona superstar will move to west
London for £200 million.
Source: Daily Express
Thursday, November 27, 2014 17:30
EducationRe: Quotes That Will Inspire You To Read A Book by Astutechris(op): 11:27am On Nov 27, 2014
Add yours
EducationQuotes That Will Inspire You To Read A Book by Astutechris(op): 11:24am On Nov 27, 2014
There is no better way to entertain yourself than reading. Reading is fun!

Education"JAMB Admission Policy May Be Reviewed" - Education Minister by Astutechris(op): 10:29am On Nov 27, 2014
The Minister of Education, Malam Ibrahim Shekarau,has
revealed that the Federal Government may review the current
JAMB admission policy.
According to him, this is to ensure that more number of
candidates are admitted into Colleges of Education as the
nation needs more teachers.
“Only the dregs of candidates who sit for UTME annually and
fail to gain admission into universities are left for the
Colleges.”
“It is hoped that a policy will be developed to guarantee the
Colleges enough students to be admitted, “he said.

Source: myschool.com.ng
PoliticsObasanjo Bombs Jonathan Again. by Astutechris(op): 9:40am On Nov 27, 2014
Former President Olusegun Obasanjo has again
torn at President Goodluck Jonathan, saying
Nigerian democracy remained at risk due to the
action of the present administration.
Speaking at a book Launch in honour of the
pioneer chairman of the Independent Corrupt
Practices Commission, ICPC, Mustapha Akanbi,
in Abuja, Mr. Obasanjo, who is the Chairman of
the occasion, said the president should stop
encouraging ‘verbal violence which may not
physically hurt but has ways of degenerating
into physical violence’.
Mr. Obasanjo said the greatest indictment
against any administration is to be seen trying
to destroy opposition of all sorts which
invariably mean destroying democracy.
“Management of democracy without resorting to
brute force and dictatorial tendencies must be
cultivated,” the former President said.
“As a leader, you must not deliberately do evil
or condone evil. You should know that you will
one day give account to God, you may cover up
here, but before God, there is no cover up.”
The former president also spoke at lenght on
the President’s handling of the Boko Haram
insurgency, corruption, the economy and youth
unemployment.
On insecurity, Mr. Obasanjo said Boko Haram is
not out to “frustrate anyone’s political efforts”
and lamented that it took Mr. Jonathan the
years to fully understand the menace.
On corruption, Mr. Obasanjo said, “when the
head is rotten, the whole body is useless”
On the economy, he said Nigeria would continue
to sink deeper and that what Nigerians are told
about the state of the economy “is not truly
what the economy is”.
“The economy is in doldrums, if not in reverse,”
he said.
Mr. Obasanjo’s latest attack on the President is
coming seven days after he rated Mr. Jonathan’s
performance as below average.
The former president had spoken last weekend
in Abeokuta while addressing book writers as
part of activities marking the Ake Arts and Book
Festival.
“I rate this current administration below
average,” Mr. Obasanjo said in response to a
question about Mr. Jonathan’s performance.
The former president also said he deserved
credit for helping an individual from a minority
tribe become Nigeria’s President.
“Rather than take blame for bringing Jonathan
to power, I should be taking credit,” he added.
The Nigerian presidency responded Sunday,
slamming Mr. Obasanjo and describing his
rating as untrue and misleading.
In a statement in Abuja, the Senior Special
Assistant to the President on Public Affairs,
Doyin Okupe, said Mr. Obasanjo’s rating was at
variance “with the facts on the ground”.
Mr. Okupe said President Jonathan had
performed so well that “in terms of
performance and achievements, no
administration since 1960 when Nigeria gained
independence from Britain, has done as much as
that of President Jonathan”.

Source: premium times
PoliticsRe: FINALLY! Reps Fix Date To Impeach President Jonathan by Astutechris(m): 12:23am On Nov 27, 2014
Na Naija we dey.......politics things seriously on their minds
PhonesRe: MTN Has Commenced The Recovery Of Their Loss On MTN Surprise. Charges And Tricks by Astutechris(m): 12:09am On Nov 27, 2014
victorels:
We are going to pay dearly for the free gift that many never used. It began with change in tariffs. 40 Kobo per second was their charge years back. It is now their charge at present.
You recharge and you received data bonus, you start browsing hoping you are using your bonus data only to find out that your credit was exhausted while your data bonus is still intact. You are charged 52 naira per megabyte and 520 naira for 10 megabyte that you have as bonus data.
It is only the beginning. Who knows what next. I believe it would be text and win and then maybe press ok for a wonderful surprise.
Get ready to pay. Its money making time for MTN.
lol! no be small thing
EducationRe: IMSU Student Dies While "Celebrating" Final Year Students by Astutechris(op): 12:06am On Nov 27, 2014
dabriggs:
You are right too that it is quite a silly way to celebrate. My opinion is that it is not the root cause of the accident. The root and remote causes are there and have nothing to do with his celebration. In my opinion it is not even the immediate cause. However, some HSE experts may want to disagree with my opinion regarding the immediate cause.
Hmmmm! I see your point.

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