₦airaland Forum

boobs,boobs and did i mention boobs? There's nuffin like feelin her luscious boobs pressin against my rock-hard body as she arches in the throes of esctasy,or watching her boobs rise and fall as she sleeps,or seein them jiggle softly when she walks. Boobs are esquisite! When i see God,the first thing i'll do is to thank him for making those twin globes of delicious delight! I love boobies!

i just wanna say that i can honestly relate with how you feel. I freely admit that a lotta guys come across as stupid jerks,bt u gotta try and see things 4rm d guys point of view. Have you ever considered the possibility that these guys,like you,might have a bad opinion of women generally based on some unsavoury experiences they might've had with the fairer sex? You'd be surprised how much of a jerk a guy can be merely from habit. Sometimes we're that way because some women lead us to believe that they(and their kind in general)expect nothing more from us. Several women,desperate women take so much crap from us guys(in their desperation)that we are led to believe that they,and other women,will settle for our crappy behavior. So it's rily a case of what u give is what you get.

Thanks. . . That's a nice thing to say. I guess time will tell,y'know,whether i'l be a good father or not.

@yme,thanks. I really thought i'd mess up,y'know,like ordering her to cut off all ties with him,in which case she'd prolly do the exact opposite just because i told her not to(seriously,what is it with teenagers n rebellion?). I dunno man,the whole thing just got me thinking,y'know,of myself as a dad. I'm just wondering whether i'm gonna be a good father,cos i dunno the first thing about fatherhood,i mean,i'm just thinking,could i be so bad at it that i'd push my child into doing sumn stupid just to get back at me for sumn i did or didnt do? At this point,the thought of being a parent,the thought of being 50% responsible for a human life,for bringing it up and shaping a dynamic n unique individual,scares the shit outta me. Y'know,with women,it's diff,they're created with this instinctive ablility to be a great parent,but it's diff with us men. A lot of it is just trial n error. I dnt want to be seen by my child as just the guy who pays the bills,or who does the flogging in the house,etc. I want to be more than that. I want to have a good,loving r/ship with my kids,only i have no idea how that's gonna work out. I'm clumsy with kids. . I'm just filled with a choking fear that somehow, i might not be good enough.

'It's stupid. And u r a lot of things,sweetie,but stupid isnt one of them'. Then i was like,'grow up kid! So what if u and ur dad dont have a perfect relationship? So what if the two of u dont get along? So what? You have a roof over ur head. You eat three square meals a day. Your schoolfees are paid on time. You dont go around dressed in banana leaves. You dont even know what you've got! Do you knw how many kids your age hawk for a living? You have a lot to be thankful for. Your problems with ur dad are no excuse for idiocy. If u get pregnant or u get aids,it is u who wil suffer. Not ur dad,not anyone else,but you. Only you.' And then she was like,'alright i get it. Enough with the pregnancy thing. I've not even met the guy. See,i met him on facebook. He was nice,kind,sweet,said all the right things,i swear, a 'love'-sick puppy who's hangs on ur every word does wonders for ur ego'. Then i was like,'sweetie,u dnt need a guy to make u feel good abt urself',then she was like,'i know that. But it was nice. Alright? It was nice to have a guy mooning over me. It was nice to know that i mattered. That someone cared'. 'So this wasnt rily about him,was it?'. Then she was like,'Nah. I just liked feeling good abt myself. I would've ended it anyway,it was getting weird'. 'Weird? How?' 'When i missed his call,he'd be like,where were u,what were u doing,blah blah blah'. 'He was being possesive?' 'Can u imagine? What's my business with him? Am i his wife that he'l b asking me where i was? Abeg o! I dont need that kind of aggravation in my life right now'. 'That's good'. Then i gave her a short lecture abt the dangers of the internet,y'know,predators,pedophiles etc. Before she left i was like,'you cant base ur self-worth on what others think of u,nd just for the record,i care'. And she said:i knw. And,thanks bros. And i wouldnt have let it go too far'. 'I knw. Just b careful kid'. Then she left. And the whole thing got me thinking,kids are very volatile,n sometimes foolish. I was just thinkin abt the future.

So i'm like would u consider dating,n she's like,'for sure now. I need a maga.' And i'm like maga for what? N she's like,'sebi i told u,i need a laptop'. So i'm like,see ur mouth like laptop. When i was ur age,i had not even smelt laptop,talkless of buying one. Laptop ko,laptop ni'. Then i was like,'but seriously,i could hook u up o,there's this alhaji who just brought his acc to us,he's seriously rich,he doesnt even knw what to do with the money',n she's like,'i'm sure i could . . ahh,relieve him of that burden,i mean being so rich must be so hard,i could evn save him the stress of this meltdown thingy,afterall,economists r saying the way out of this crisis is to spend'. A couple of laughs later, i was dropping innuendoes,some subtle nd others not so subtle,but she purposely didnt grab. So i got tired of going round in circles,so i just came out with it. 'I mistakenly read one of ur mesgs from eric,nd when i did,i went thru ur inbox out of curiosity. I knw i shouldnt have,but i'm not sorry i did'. There was a long pause nd then she was like,'figures. It'd certainly explain why u've bn acting all wierd'. 'so u're involved with this person? I never thought i'd have to say this,but i'm very disapointed in you'. 'he's not by bf or anything'. 'Mayb not yet,but from what i've read,it wont be long. I mean u knw what can happen if u get into a r/ship at ur age. Unwanted pregnancies,std's,jeez man,i dont need to tell you this',i said,getting angrier by the minute. 'And then,if u're not concerned abt urself,think abt ur family. Think abt ur mom,ur sisters,ur dad'. Then she was like,'Pffbt. It's not like he cares one way or the other', So i'm like,'oh come on,sweetie. Of course your dad cares about you'. 'oh pls,dont patronize me. Y'knw what his favorite line is? 'Rearing children is very difficult. Rearing! Like i'm a friggin cow or goat or some other animal that you 'rear' '. 'Regardless sweetie,if u think that by getting involved with some boy,u can somehow get back at ur dad,that's just wrong kid. It's stupid'

Well, it started out very awkwardly. Nepa took light,so i started making small talk. I almost blew it by flaring up(i yelled at her to get her damn earpieces out of her ear because she had her earpieces in her ear when i was talkin to her-do u knw how annoying that is?). Anyway,i was talking to her sha,and i manufactured a story abt a friend who had a younger sister who got pregnant in ss1 because she had a bf then. Then i made a joke like,"imagine u pregnant". She laughed and said if she were in a r/ship she wouldnt plan on getting preg. And i'm like,hello,i dont think any of them unwed mothers 'planned' on getting pregnant,and that the fact was,no teenager should b in a r/ship,period. Then she's like,'i dont agree, sometimes a r/ship can b a good thing,it gives u this closeness,this special rapport with someone,y'know,this feeling that you're important to someone'. So i'm like,'Are you saying that u think people your age can be in love?'(following sista's advice on the debate thing). She thought abt it for a bit,and said no,nd sumn like:'Teenagerhood is a very confusing time for us. I mean,it's a convoluted mess of emotions,y'know,we'qe trying to figure out who we are,our personality traits,character,likes n dislikes,our opinions,errything is being shaped now. I mean,if we dont know who we are,how could we possibly know what we want in a guy or in a r/ship? Teenagers r very self-centered,we think the whole world revolves around us,and love,love is sacrifice,and the two are just not compatible,se u get? We just dont have the emotional capacity to feel sumn as complex as romantic love',leaving me faintly surprised(as always) by her. Then i was like,what about all ur agemates who claim they're in love? And she was like,bull,they dont knw what they're talking about,even though it doesnt stop them from dating. And i'm like,for real? And she's like,'stay there. More than half the ppl in my class are dating themselves. One of 'em,rosemary,has 'manfriends'. Not bf's oh,bt 'manfriends'. That girl scares me.

I just talked to her. She came over to show me her result earlier today. Would you guys like the short version or the full one?

Mmn. . . My girls should not b less than 5'6. I'd hate having to bend over just to kiss her. I dnt like rily slim girls(all those ultra-thin anorexic types scare me)but i dont like over-big girls. So she should b in the middle,not too thin n not too big.@opuro,i feel u man. I think the female boob is God's most exquisite creation,they're a friggin' work of art. Seriously,i've always thought that if i could choose the way i died,then i'd want to die between the luscious breasts of a beautiful woman. Sure,it'd be death,but what a way to go! They(God bless 'em),are one of the few things i'd never compromise on.

@poster,Okay. . . I'm a simple person really. And yes,intelligence matters to me. Not that a bangin' bod wouldnt help,but the mind is more important. I truly bliv love is much more than mind-numbing sex or a hot body(though i wouldnt mind that at all-lol),the thing is,intelligence isnt written on the forehead,so there's no way u'l know whether a person has brains or not by simply lookin at 'em,n the truth is,the first thing that attracts me to a girl is the physical;oh she's got great boobs,killer legs,cute dimples etc. Intelligence is very important to me,i think love is a fusion of minds,a metaphysical connection that drowns out all else. . . I simply cannot,for the life of me figure out why some guys go for the dumb,limpid shrinking violet types. I cant imagine being with someone i cant relate with intellectually. Then,she has to be witty,i like throwing sarcastic disses,n she has to be able to 'catch' them,n reply with a witty comeback. I dont know which type of girls i hate more:the giggly,brainless ones or the ultra-serious i've-got-to-save-the-world-from-itself-and-so-you types. I hate leeches. I dnt like over-possesive women. Would i hit a woman? No. God knows i've been tempted to more than once,but thankfully i've never done it,and i never will. Would i cheat? I'd love to say,no,i wouldnt,i love her too much to hurt her like that,and i do(love her that is),i know right now i'm making a conscious effort to stay faithful,and it's hard because there r so many beautiful women out there who are not only willing but more often than not throw themselves at you,so it's hard,but seeing her smile,hearing her laugh(a boisterous un-shrinkin-violet type laugh,by the way),holding her hands in mine,kicking her ass at monopoly,teasing her . . . . I could go on and on,but it's the little things that matter,and the little things make it worth it. So yeah,i def wouldnt cheat on her,but i dont know what the future holds. Maybe if we get married(gulp!),mayb after 10 or 15 years,i just dont know.

@Dreloaded n sista-nice conversation. But u gotta realize that the men are'nt entirely to blame. Yes,some men go ballistic when their partners try to discuss their sex lives,but some(like yours truly)dont mind at all. In fact they'd be more than happy to discuss how they can please each other better,except the women disagree. I once dated a girl who absolutely refused to talk about sex with me. She thought it was dirty talk,n talkin about it somehow made her loose. I mean,how hypocritical is that? It wasnt like i wasnt already having sex with her. Nigerian women in general view talking about sex as a taboo. If their partners suggested a more creative sexual position,the majority of them would b like,tufiakwa,God forbid bad thing etc,so why should we bother to ask? Thankfully,my gf isnt like that. Even though she's very opinionated and even a bit of a feminist,sex was the one thing she couldnt talk about. At first she was so embarassed n it was very very awkward,but at least,she was willing to try. So ladies,try n understand us. We understand the 'nigerian mentality' nd all,but sometimes it can b very frustrating for us.

@segzi cres,i wont deny that givin her a good whuppin' hasnt crossed my mind,but there are some children that just cant b handled with the cane. She's one of those ultra-stubborn kids(she reminds me of myself,at that age my dad use'd to flog me almost everyday). @sista,d thing 'bout gettin her into a debate rily makes sense for her kind of person. Thanks.

The flash mesg thin doesnt stay in the inbox,it just appears on the screen. Mayb she thought i or herself touchd it by mistake. I dont think she knws i read it because if she did,she go vex o! She'd b like i was invading her privacy,blah,blah,blah. @bluespice,the thing is,we hardly ever talk abt things like r/shps,so how can i introduce the subj casually?

@ohaechesi,i was out. Duty called. And abeg o,experience is not the best teacher. Some experiences r better not had. I cant imagin her pregnant o! @the other poster,being in a r/ship with someone is all well n good for a guy n not a girl.

Tell me about it. At that age,we were all planning for waec and reading till our eyes burned. Who had time for girls?

Except i'm not good at advicing people. Then,she'l b angry at me 4 going thru her messages(though i dnt see what the big deal is). What if she gets all emotional on me,or God forbid,starts cryin? I wouldnt know what to do.

@whitelexi,Eew! That is so gross man. She's my cousin! Not we're-all-from-Benin cousins,but blood cousins. She's a kid. A 14 year old kid,and i'm a full-grown man. Yeah,i love her,but i sure as hell am not in love with my cousin. That'd be so sick n wrong. I guess i feel so close to her because she's like the little sister i never had. I dont feel any jealousy or anger or anythin. I'm not hurt by the possibility that she might b involved with som1,i just think that at 14,she's gat no business bein romantically involved with som1 of the opposite sex. She shld b focusing on her studies. Just imagin how u'd feel if ur 14 yr old junior sister was havin a bf at her age.

I have a cousin. A girl. We have a very special r/shp. We're family,but what we hav is more than that. We're rily close because we're both very alike;we're both cynics,we're both critics and we're both very wary if not distrustful of life's sappier emotions,we're smart as a whip,witty,etc. These similarities make me closer to her than i've been to a lot of relatives even though she's just a teenager(i mean,how many teenagers can have a logical argument with u over,4 xample the Israeli/Palestine crisis or the causes of the 1st n 2nd world wars?). She's more mature than her years;she thinks,speaks n acts with an insight that never fails to surprise me. She has problems relating with her parents,her dad especially,mayb its because he's the typical authoritarian Benin father(lol). She also has anger issues. I think i'm an outlet for a lot of her shit,but that's okay. She needs a friend,and i'm there for her. I always will be. Anyway,ydai she was at my place,she just branchd there from skul. She was doin sumn inside when her phone rang with one of those flash messages. I didnt knw what it was until i'd read it. It was 4rm a guy who said sumn like,'where were you? You knw i dnt like it when u dont pick my calls'. So i was curious. I went thru her fone n read some sappy(ok so mayb some of 'em were original)love texts 4rm the guy. I xpected her to diss him right away-except she didnt. She sounded confused,like she was actually considerin his proposal(there wasnt an actual proposal in any of the txts,i just got the feelin that there was an underlyin proposal of some sort underneath that crap). The more i read,the clearer it became to me that they were in a r/shp of some sort,or at least they were abt to get into one. Normally i'd go to her dad or mom,but that doesnt seem like a viable option. I just cant wrap my mind around that she might have a bf. I mean,for cryin out loud,she's just 14!(she'l be 15 this year,bt that's inconsequential-she's still a kid!). So i need insightful,practical advice on what to do.

First up,your writing's atrocious. And,your topic makes no sense. Which one is 'real ex-guy'? Abi is there fake ex-guy?

I'm not defending it,i'm simply pointin out the fact that in most cases,what ppl consider rape simply isnt. I'm not excusing anyone's behaviour,i'm just tryin to understand the rationale behind their actions.

Yeah? Well lucky him. I guess we guys have a pretty one-track mind.

@sista,i feel you. I like it when my gf sleeps with her back to me. I reckon she likes it for the same reasons u do,but i have a totally selfish reason for preferrin that position. It makes her more. . . . ahhh. . . accesible.

This is boring. Sinc u're so mature,why'd it take u 5 years to figure out that u nd this guy r not mentally compatible? The problem is,many of u go into marriage with an unsuitable guy,deluding urselves that u can somehow miraculously change him. Well,u cant,and u need to accept that. In any case,we cant tell u what to do. It's ur decision,ur life,and u r gonna have to live with whateva decision u make. That's all.

Em. . . ,okay,i keep my nails short,but i hate it when they are uneven,broken or chipped. I dont do anythin as drastic as goin 4 a manicure(that'd be weird),i just file them,a lot. I have next to perfect fingernails. Does that count?

In my opinion,they are. To start with,i dont want a docile doormat,au contraire,i want a woman,a strong-willed,passionate woman,a woman who's not afraid to speak her mind. As such,we r gonna have differences in opinions,it cld be over little things,or big things,but whatever the case may b,we're stil gonna have arguments.
Here's why i think arguments are necessary for r/shps:
first up,arguments expose u to aspects of ur partner's character that u might not see otherwise. When u have arguments with someone,you learn how she gets when she's angry;is she the kinda woman who yells when she's angry?,does she throw knives at ya?,does she break stuff? u learn what makes her angry,you learn to avoid those things,you learn to gauge how mad she is with a single glance,and u learn how to cool her down,by word or deed. And u know what they say,the best part of quarellin is the making up. Make-up sex is exquisite. Aint nuffin quite like it. So guys,if u've been in a r/shp with som1 for an extended period of time and u've not had a single quarrel,however minor,then sumn's seriously wrong. Anything that seems too good to be true usually is.

There's nuffin wrong with my woman washing my clothes. I just wouldnt expect her to wash them. If she wants to wash it,fine,if she doesnt,fine. I dont have the right to demand anything from her,and neither does any other guy.

@mrs. Oyibo,u amuse me. I have never raped a woman,and i never will. I refuse to give in to my baser instincts,although if i wantd to,it definitely wouldnt be rape,trust me,they'd be more than willing. No one will ever rape my mom,or my sister,or my woman. You know why? Because they have the sense to avoid provocative situations. Oh,and i think calling someone uneducated and sick just because u dont agree with his opinion is very immature. And that's all it was. An opinion. I do believe i still have the right to express that,and if u're not mature enough to express ur opinion in a calm,adult manner,then u shldnt be here. Fyi,i dont like violence. I think its crude and primitive. I find there are more effective ways of dealing with problems. @the other person,child abuse is a very terrible thing. Why some twisted minds find children sexually attractive(children,for God's sake) is beyond me. The bloody pervs need to b locked up in a rily small cell for the rest of their sick,deluded lives. But rape and child abuse are diff,and thankfully i'm talking about rape.

Justification,maybe there is,maybe there isnt. The fact remains that most of 'em deserve what they got. I rily dont know what wil make a woman have sex with a man and then pin rape on him because it's more convenient for her. That's the real injustice-women who dont knw what they want and ruin lives because of their selfish games.

Recently i've begun to wonder whether there's truly anything like rape. To start with,many women today need a lot of help. They dress provocatively,wearin little slips of nothing that leave nothing to the imagination. They wear tight tops with half their boobs spillin out,they wear rily tight pants that show off every shapely contour of their luscious backsides. They tease us,tempt us,errythang 'bout them is a bloody invitation. Their clothes,their strut,body language,errythin's an invitation. See,the problem with u women is that most of u confuse sexy with slutty. U can b wearin a cocoa sack n stil b as sexy as hell, on the other hand,u cld b wearin next to nothin n still have the sex appeal of a flat pancake. Its all about the carriage. But u dont knw that. U constantly sell urselves,and when some guy takes what they so blatantly offered,they scream rape. The sad truth is that many of those raped got what they were asking for,and even worse,some of them were active participants in their supposed 'rapes'. Most of 'em got what they deserved,and i feel no sympathy for such ones.

I have cheated before,not on her,but with a previous girl,but there were extenuating circumstances,and hey,im human. But since i've been with her,ive made a conscious decision to be faithful to her,and i've succeeded. Its not as difficult as it seems. Just have a little selfcontrol,thats all. And errytime i'm tempted,i see her face,and i cant. I refuse to give in to my baser instincts. I refuse to hurt her like that. I know how good iv got it,n i refuse to willingly let her go. Its all about lovin someone more than u love urself,n when u have that,theres nuffin you cant do