₦airaland Forum

maclatunji: Guys be like...

1. You are the prettiest girl I have ever seen...

2. I love you so much, let me treat you like a queen..

3. You do not have to worry about anything, I will give you anything you want...

4. The body language will be like... Can't you see that I am rich (ehem), handsome and have a great body, nothing can go wrong with me, I am the perfect man for you...

That is how Miss Independent falls o...

Hahahahaha

Danmas: Seriously, i use to pity our sisters' on what they go through in marriage after years of courtship, but most of the time its there inability to see beyond their fingers, they substitutes illusion with reality and latter end of regreting. They usually class the good guys as boring/unwise and ignore them for the percieved CHarming!
As Mac. Mentioned, guys promise them this and that and they will believe which after marriege turn out to be elusion.
May Allah help us. Ameen

....I concur totally!Movies we watch are not helping at all in this regard and perception of our society!

Danmas: Salam. Read all your posts. hmm... Educating,reasonably and tensely debated. Busy preparing for exams and going to stay away for sometimes. Need your PRAYERS.

Insha Allah,you will come out with good grades as you desires!!!

Danmas: I pray that in the near future we would not be hearing the words 'misbehaving' and 'punishment'
may Allah give us the best of spouses.

Amin....To starve off this,we should begin here by changing our mindset and orientation because naturally,this life is so simple,it just depends on your disposition towards it that will determine how you are going to view it(Allah does not put burden on us that's beyond our carrying capacity and He will not change the situation of people until they are ready to change themselves)!!!

maclatunji: Jokes apart, brothers on this thread are not helping matters. Let us imagine that some of the vocal young women have a right to think the things they do. Is it not the duty of men to say: "the way you think of us is not exactly the way we are o"? Do this, that and those, then hopefully we will both be fine as men and women but all these: "keep dancing we are behind you posts are not helpful".

This thread would be a waste if someone entered it with a certain set of preconceived notions and after 200 pages is still thinking the same way.

May Allah guide us to success (Ameen).

Amin.....It's sumtin like this that leads to all forms of rancour in a marriage in its infancy so to say.Most of the time,we run away from reality and face shadow.Marriage is not sumtin we should plan for let's say for like 4,5,6 years,NO!It's usually between the two people involved even if you date for 10years,i can assure you,when you finally start living together,you would be surprised @ the level of difference between you.Communicate with your man/woman,don't expect perfection,NOBODY(HUMAN) IS ROBOT OR COMPUTER!!!

I agree totally to all these.What i know is that one just have to make effective usage of his/her time and be very careful with what one post online.Don't be surprised if you want to travel maybe to USA in the long run(near future) and everything has scaled through except your post on FB some years back.It's getting to that now(NSA mass scale data collection and spying).Nothing in this life is without risk inherent and its MERITS to me is more than the DEMERITS so i'll continue to use it.Imagine my friends of 12-15yrs ago!how could i meet them if not for FB.Tell us not to use nairaland abi nairaland no be social media forum like FB??My advise is that keep the technological trend going,be very careful online and offline and choose your friends wisely!!!

DMainMan: Academic

Thanks,d@ means if i wish,i could further 4 phd!!!

@gmail.com

am33rah: As far as I know, there hasn't been any formal sitting between both families. Just that when the man and the lady decide on a way regarding the marriage, the man comes back with a different say after consulting his family.

Is d@ a man??

tbaba1234: I do not know the level of 'interference' but it is important to include both families in decision making at this stage.

I have the feeling that she might have over-reacted and offended the family.

What the family did was normal.

Right now, it depends on the man.

If it's interfering on day to day activities,it's bad,if odawise,it is still ok!

am33rah: wa alaykum Salam
A sister and a brother were planning on getting married; but after a while, the sister quit, because she felt the man was not serious about making things formal on time, and the mans family was also interfering so much in their decision-making.
After 5 weeks, the man came back to the lady again, so that they might solve the problems and plan on getting married. All the while, the mans family had been searching for another sister for the man, and had warned him not to contact the runaway sister again. Now, the lady is confused because she feels the man's family didn't try enough to solve the problem before starting to look for someone else for him. The man is adamant on having her back, because he feels everything was his fault. should she marry the man, hoping that everything will be sorted out, or stand on her decision, considering that the family might not welcome her wholeheartedly?

I think this is where communication works in a relationship.B4 the sista took such decision,has she discussed it with the brother?It's possible that that habit is one of his weakness.But from the way u said it above,she took the decision unilaterally.Life now has gone beyond 'just married'.It entails a lot of things even what u can't discuss with your parents,you should be able and feel free to discuss it with your spouse.I blame the sista her(she sould change asap)!about interfering also,they should talk also.What's the guarantee th@ she'll meet a better person by jettisoning the said broda @list dere's something that got her attracted to the broda in the 1st instance

DMainMan: Salam'alaekum.

Y is it dat most sisters dont wanna woo a brother they like. It is halal in Islam. I am not saying you should meet him directly but u can simply tell his close freind or an Alfa to tell him.

However, make sure d guy is matured and Islamically oriented odawise he might wanna take advantage.

I av observed most nice and God -fearing Muslim men are very shy and lack confidence in approaching the opposite sex. He likes u but doesnt know how to convince u cos of confidence. It isnt o. That is why most tend to use arrangee method to seek for wife which is also good.

May Allah guide us all. Amin

Amin bro,this is my thought too.The reasons are not far-fetched: One of the most grave mistakes our sisters make is spouse.This is somewhat due to arrogance.A sister that like a particular trait(s) about a brother and she knows that if they could be married,it'll be good for her,she stays back and wait for the brother proposal which might not be forthcoming @ d end.The reason 4 dis is d@ dey av many suitors.To our sisters,marriage is not a thing u can just go in and come back,it involves a lot of things expecially patience and it's not all that glitters is Gold!!!

tbaba1234: Sisters, please do your homework before marriage. Do not let your feelings becloud judgement. I know you already like him but women bear the brunt of a bad relationship. Once, the honeymoon phase wears off, real issues arise. And it does wear off. It is difficult to be a woman and you deserve the best man to support you.

May Allah bless my sisters.

Brothers:

Our righteous women are the best things in the world. Treat them as such.

The messenger of Allah said: The world is but (a quick passing) enjoyment and the best enjoyment is a pious and virtuous woman.
(Muslim)

May Allah make us the best husbands.

Assalamu aleikum.

AMIN

PHEMIEY: Being with the RIGHT person is better than being alone...

Seconded.Noone's an island and there are various opportunities that are abounded by being associative but one just have to be selective so that he/she might not go astray!!

@dmainman:Thanks 4 d info.Do u av any idea of fees of Msc Elect/Elect(Electrical Power option) and is it on both professional and academic masters??

Hellfire misile,what a name?Tgis should involved with psycological wars like the one i read recently where pig skin is used to make bullets!

Are u on whatsapp??

This is a wake up call to a heavy-less giant of Africa called Nigeria.We seem not to take our cybersecurity with seriousness it required.Very soon,Amazon will be making delivery in about 30mins with drones,here,we are taking about Oga jona 4 2015.To cut my lamentations short because nothing good will come out of it,i specially love China,Iran,Russia that are trying to do away with all these which means they encourage,innovate and invent their own.There's no way NSA can bypass their security be it availability,confidentiality or integrity except if they want to compromised(hack) into their systems which i doubt they would succeed!

DMainMan: I REMEMBER THE DAYS WHEN LADIES
WERE MOVED BY WORDS.

EVERY GUY WAS VIRTUALLY A GOOD
WRITER.

OH I COULD REMEMBER WHEN MY ELDER BROTHER WOULD
HAVE TO GO UNDER THE TREE TO
COMPOSE PAGES OF MESSAGES.

ITS AMAZING HOW THE INSPIRATION
RUSHES INTO THE HEAD.

IT WAS FUN.......I SO WISH ONE COULD GO
BACK TO THOSE DAYS WHEN EVEN ME AM
AMAZED BY WAT EVER I COMPOSED FOR HIM.

HE EVENTUALLY GOT HIS HAJIA WITH THIS METHOD AND THEY ARE MARRIED WITH CHILDREN NOW.

MISS THOSE DAYS A LOT.

...GONE ARE THE DAYS!

onegig: That is why you need to learn to play the stick and carrot game.

Although i would never want to intentionally hold back but some people have a way of making you feel like a fool for loving them more. If i notice such a behaviour then I would autochange.

Its an equal amount in return for any loving done. I guess such people tend to start noticing a change in their partners when you start treating them same way and they may kick start deliberations on changing things.

What people don't know is that human attitude is like a mirror:the way you stand in front of it,is the exactly replica of how it's going to give u the reflected image.If we know,remember and use the last sermon of the holy prophet(SAW),we would not be found wanting here!

maclatunji: This is a little bit complex but let me try. When science says you can only dream of faces you have seen, it is not saying- you can only dream of faces your consciousness registers.

Our subconciousness which is more dominant in our lives registers a lot of things that we cannot perceive in our consciousness. Some of these things are subliminal- hidden messages we receive without realising it.

Tbaba has referenced a particular animated feature film titled: "Finding Nemo" in the past, I am not sure that he realises that the name "Nemo" is actually "Omen" spelt backwards.

If someone who has never watched the film reads where tbaba referenced "Finding Nemo" has a dream about finding omens, he might find it difficult to understand where it is coming from. Meanwhile, it probably all came from his subconcious mind.

i concur totally!

maclatunji: The guy shot himself in the foot. Even the woman you have carefully studied will bring out unexpected behaviour. The guy should dream up solutions to his problem now.

.....Hehehe,Mac as usual,i was just laughin when i saw this....looool!

08082941541 is it.Add me up on whatsapp!

tbaba1234: Allahu Akbar.. I am so emotional and excited this morning.

My baby sister just gave birth. Uncle tbaba in the building!

Congr@s