₦airaland Forum

I agree with you, but that was what defined poetry in those days and in a way they made the poem look beautiful, although they tend to restrict the flow of a poem. However, one can just experiment with them old rules as a way of self development.


Thank you.

Tgirl4real: this is short n cute.

thank you.

A SONNET

Distance without notice grasps you again
Hence my cold countenance on this warm day
Heart accustomed to this erratic pain
Constantly longing for you where I lay
Illusions of you fog my sight these days
Every woman I see walking is you
Why can you not align with me always?
Don't you ache for me as I do for you?
But if always our shapes do tesselate
And these my ears ceaselessly house your tone
What will be to miss you I won't relate
And your value to me will be unknown
Thus, as heart grows fonder at your absence
Greater will I cherish your short presence

I tried following the rhyming scheme and the ten syllable per line ish

timpaker: Unfortunately, the real character's name was Pamela (I can't pronounce her other name before I bleed my tongue. Madina is imaginary.
Princesa, Oahray, Badmusace (I swear that your poem na die!), HBG, Uniqueval, Solaceye, Jackbauresball, Kennikazi, and others... Thank you for your kind messages
Wait a minute. ..Maclatunji, you are the infamous judge 5? ***doing sign of the cross* thanks man.

PS: I'm an Administrator and not an English language, guru, student nor a graduate of literature . I just love art and word play.

Hehe. I appreciate sire

Tgirl4real: Love you too Princesa. We come from wayyyy back. I see a calmer side now.

It's a honour sitting as a judge over you all. I won't even call myself a poet ( I dey try sha. ), but someone like cuddles believe so much in me.

You guys really gave it a good try. I see a lot of determination. And before I forget, letter to my hubby was a good try too. Sonded like sum'n I would have written, but I felt the harmony wasn't so tight.

@ Timpaker,

ermmm...write me a poem na to show your appreciation.



Cuddles, these topics cannot lay to waste, what should we do about them?

Let any one who can freestyle on em!

Cuddlemii: Lovely! Congratulations!

Yaay!!!!!!!

And please before I forget, can someone please help to critic my poem oh. "Rapture". I appreciate in advance.

I even wrote one Shakespearean sonnet one time like that when I dey miss someone.... iwill post it soon!

From Little Starts

Before plants grew into giant trees,
They began as minuscule seeds;
Before men reigned as revered kings,
Without aim they crawled as little kids;
Tiny young water bulbs with time
Become the old large lady brine;
That gentle spark of unseen light
Can eat up forests in one hateful spite.
Despise not the days of little beginnings,
For within their grasp still lies graceful endings.

to all who took part

Congrats to timparker !

whew, it is not easy oh. will be waiting for the judges'critic, to know the strength(s) and weakness(es) of our works. Congrats to the organisers and all who took part.

ITbomb: Is anyone else having problems with loading pages on nl especially pages with images.
I have tried on iPad (Chrome, safari), Nokia (Operamini) and laptop (Firefox), but still got an unending loading and partial display of pics

it is now displaying

Cuddlemii: Please try and figure it out. If I didn't ask, you wont have said anything. You didn't say anything! I just guessed something must have gone wrong, but that doesn't mean I have the solution to everything. If your designer gives you something that doesn't work, then the first step is to quote him here, and then send him an email, to see how it can be resolved. Alternatively, you have the option of working with another designer Kennikazi, send him an email/quote him here as your back-up plan.

Problem solved!

ITbomb: Is anyone else having problems with loading pages on nl especially pages with images.
I have tried on iPad (Chrome, safari), Nokia (Operamini) and laptop (Firefox), but still got an unending loading and partial display of pics

I also uploaded a pic for my poem, but it ain't displaying. used firefox, internet and uc browser (forandroid).still ain't displaying.

Cuddlemii: Please try and figure it out. If I didn't ask you wont have said anything. You didn't say anything! I was just guessed something must have gone wrong, but that doesn't mean I have the solution to everything. If your designer gives you something that doesn't work, then the first step is to quote him here, and then send him an email, to see how it can be resolved. Alternatively, you had the option of working withe Kennikazi, send him an email for a back-up plan.

I thought it was a network issue. ok i will contact kennikazi

Cuddlemii: Ok? So are you having problems uploading? Do you have your design?

Between, Classicdea uploaded his, please ask him for help.

okay.but if I click on modify I still see the picture in "browse"

Cuddlemii: Hey, your design isn't showing? Was it uploaded successfully? What kind of file extension does it have? I mean do you see .jpg, .jpeg, .png at the end of the file name. These questions also apply to the other contestants whose designs are missing. Thanks.

.jpg

kennikazi: you wrote two poems and want to write another? your creative juices are really flowing oo
email: keneohiaeri@gmail.com
rapture...hmm...what to do with your design

funny enuf my designer just mailed me like 15min ago that his lappy is bak and I can't work with two diff designers. or can I?

I don't know if this is where I request for a new designer. When this round was not meant to be the final round, I wrote two poems and my designer did sth for both.when this round was said to be the final, I changed my topic to 'Rapture' and my designer's laptop crashed. I believe I'm now designerless.

princesa: nothing dey there na, no be just 3 quatrain and 1 couplet, piece of cake problem is that i never really liked his works.

really?! I'm shocked oh! even if u don't like his works you must have read his poem "all the world is a stage".when possible I'll send u a link or post one of his sonnets

reserved for nos 12

Rapture

DESIGNER: Classicdea

WHY I CHOSE THE TOPIC: I chose this topic because, it is an event bound to occur- the world coming to an end. There are also several accounts of how this would occur, so writing this poem gives me free rein to predict and narrate this end the way I deem fit. Although, several allusions were made from the bible.

UNIQUE EXPERIENCE: Seeing my words in picture, literarily brought my poem to life. A thousand words, truly, lies in a picture. Kudos to Classicdea, for putting up with my onerous demands, among other things,your efforts noted.

CONSTRAINTS: Getting to contact him, at first, proved futile. Later, I wasn't sure of the time he'd be online but every mail sent was always replied; and uploading the design!

ABOUT THE POEM: The poem is divided into three irregular stanzas.

First Stanza: This potrays the state of the world preceding the rapture using different forms of imageries to depict lots of things. The first couplet presents the general state of things; the earth ('a rotating sphere') can no longer stay 'afloat' to rotate and it is weighed down to 'trudge' (to move with difficulty) in 'murky waters'. This may be interpreted as the world simply being in very difficult times.
Line 2-9 list out the reasons why the earth is in such position. 2-3 blames man's 'choking curiousness'. Man's determination to try out new things leads to the opening of the Pandora's box. These lines is an allusion to Greek mythology, where
Pandora opened a box (handed over to her by the gods),out of curiousity,which unleashed all forms of woes on earth. Line 5&6 blame some of man's creations which have helped to gradually diminish nature and leading to several global crisis such as pollution, global warming, among others. Line 7 blames man's perversion/immorality which is symbolised through sodomy ('engorged beast' being the penis and 'backdoor' being the anus). Line 8 blames extreme adherence to religion which has led not only to nature dying but man also. Line 9 portrays the futility of fighting for a God who has promised to fight our own battles. Line 10&11 blames generally man for the decadent state of the world.

Second stanza: Line 12&13,
Due to this appalling state of the world, the writer believes the end time is here and no longer near, and for the trumpet to be blown signaling the end of the world. Line 14-19, speaks of the arrival of the dragon i.e the devil(as described in revelations 12 v.3) unsheathed as a weapon by the earth, as a form of revenge on man for mistreating it.

Third stanza: After all these preceding gloomy stanzas, the final stanza brings a ray of hope as the saviour 'who slumbers never, awakens' to save his people from the devil. The writer here tries to potray the saviour as three forms in one (my version of trinity). The 'once wounded lamb'(for he was once crucified/sacrificed); the lion (because it connotes a better suited character for battle); the shepherd (although, not expressly mentioned, the reader can easily connotes that it is the shepherd who will fight for the docile sheep). It is at this point the actual 'rapture' or ascension will take place.

Twist in the tale: Like in every great narration, there is usually a twist. The twist here lies in the fact that the poem can end in two opposite ways, it all depends on where the reader pauses. 1."...the once wounded lamb...who slumbers, never awakens..." Or "...the once wounded lamb...who slumbers never, awakens..." Get it?

Note: There are several meanings embedded in this poem that the writer may not be able to put here for several reasons. Also the meaning of the poem should not be limited to the one ascribed above, as any other form of interpretation is welcome. As Lord Denning once said, our language is not one of mathematical precision. For out literature will be poorer if it were.

THE DESIGN: The design as a whole depicts death doom and destruction -the metaphorical state of the world before rapture and the suffering of man at the dragon's arrival, before the final battle (if it ever be fought).

MEANING OF SOME TERMS: I believe I've tackled this in the 'about the poem' section. The major literary devices used to acheive poetic effect are primarily: imagery,metaphor and personification. Other devices used also include assonance, rhymes, alliteration and others I may have used without knowing I used them.

MESSAGE BEHIND THE POEM: The poem warns of an impending doom emanating from man's misdeeds against nature and redemption may come for only those who have  preserved nature.

Reserved for number 12

Rapture

Our rotating sphere once afloat and light,
Trudges murky waters knee deep in plight;
As Pandora's box whose lid firmly sealed,
By man's choking curiousness, its swarming contents revealed.
The essence of life sucked piecemeal,
By countless errections of industrial fleas;
Backdoors opened for engorged beast to intrude;
Man murdering their kind in extreme adhesion to faith,
In war for one whose war cannot be fought.
All of the world painted in blood-red,
The paintbrush solely our acts and deeds.

Alas, the end is here and time is ripe
For the windy blow of the celestial pipe.
Like these words being the final straw,
The earth begin to unsheathe the worldly prince,
To enslave all for the wrongs of many:
That lowly red dragon with ten horns
Adorned with seven crowns,
On the rise to extend its subterraneous reign.

But behold, the once wounded lamb
In the body of a lion
Who slumbers never awakens for Armageddon,
To reap his sheep from the enclosed claws of the dragon.

princesa: na where i go start with that one

lool! you can do it jor, u dey form humility abi?

princesa write a Shakespearean sonnet

abeg when is d deadline for round 2 submission oh ?

badmusace: Help! My designer (@classicdea) has gone awol! All efforts to reach him has been as successful as retaining water in a basket! What should I do?

oh I've already gotten in contact wv him

Help! My designer (@classicdea) has gone awol! All efforts to reach him has been as successful as retaining water in a basket! What should I do?

classicdea: Chai. A little complex

boss aw far d design ish na?

reserved for nos 17

reserved for number 17