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Sports / Re: Dead Body Of Joseph Izu Who Was Shot Dead By JTF (Graphic Photos) by balogunrealone: 11:21pm On Oct 25, 2016
BiafraudExposed:
Is he an IPOB member? if he is I don't mercy him undecided
. Mumu! Ur mouth no get indicator wey go tell u not to dey yan stupid stuffs
Nairaland / General / Success Has No Sentiments by balogunrealone: 10:51am On Oct 25, 2016
"If it's me against 48, I feel sorry for the 48" Margaret Thatcher said.

Such is the will of champions! They don't quit! They don't wilt! They fear no foe and they don't listen to the gleeful condemnations from their gloomy friends. They won't stop it even when the analysis and synopsis of their actions prove they are going to fail. Champions don't stop. Success knows no tribe, religion, colour, origin nor situation. S/he who deserves it will earn it!

Often, we see individuals who have achieved a certain level of success and we are moved, albeit jealously, over such individuals achievements, simply because we are at the behest of our conclusions and sincere realisations have eschewed us. We believe we are better than they are; why should they be more successful?! Success doesn't know your height neither does it have an idea of how handsome or beautiful you are. It doesn't know how rich your parents are, neither does it know your humble beginnings. What success knows is persistence, courage, the go-get-it attitude and the will to forge on even when failure keeps looming.

You may have the best brain in your class yet be the worst student. Your parents may have horses in stables, money in the bank and expensive accessories in boxes yet you'll be beaten to riches by the son of a common man, if he does the right thing and you don't.
Money helps a lot in achieving dreams, its usefulness cannot be underestimated neither can it be overemphasized but money not well spent, like a penniless palm, achieves nothing, no thing!


Kelechi Iheanacho was famously quoted not to have #50 to see a football game in a viewing centre four years ago, today, through hard work, persistence, courage and commitment and of course prayers, he earns #51m every week. Yes, earning big wages as a footballer is not tantamount to success but scoring goals on a regular basis and playing for one of the biggest teams in Europe from a very humble background is worth the headlines. That's success, it lacks sentiments!

America's presidency is arguably the biggest in the world and one that will before now, be hardly tipped to be held by a black man. Barack Obama, from the crucibles of a Kenyan village, one way or the other found himself on the biggest political seat in the world today. Success is even colour blind. You will do it if you have the will and the power with good health to do it. Examples abound about stories of how peanuts turn large chunks that feed nations. You can earn it too!

When you see a boy or girl from your street whose dad you believe your father is richer than achieve success, don't feel belittled, don't be befuddled, he did no juju, you may be far more brilliant but for the right steps he has taken, he has earned it, don't feel jealous, face your struggles and double your hustle because for real and for the umpteenth time, success has no sentiments.
Religion / As It Is Done On Earth! Heaven? by balogunrealone: 8:17am On Oct 23, 2016
Gone are the days when we pray early in the morning at Omolola Nursery and Primary School, Sagamu with our eyes closed and our gaze fixed into blindness. Our teachers will be looking for any pupil that tries to wink his/her eye in the course of prayer. If any gets caught in the process, you'll have one or two knocks on your head from any one of those fierce-looking, super Ghanaian teachers.

When we recite the Lord's Prayer, happiness slides through me and joy rekindles in me. We read with so much enthusiasm irrespective of what religions we practised at home, we were kids, the best of any human. The moment religion stepped in, a lot of us discovered reading the Lord's Prayer was wrong or singing an Islamic song was unethical, total nonsense! I enjoyed reciting the prayer and I still remember how everywhere gets "lighted" when we open our eyes. Often, I used to think an Angel was present. Wrong or right, those moments were adorable.

I'm growing in my ability to ask myself pertinent questions and once again, remembering the Lord's Prayers, I ask myself, "as it is done on earth, so it is in heaven, heaven please!

This earth rekindles hate! Heaven please! This earth regurgitates terror! Heaven please! This earth is filled with divinely satanic and luciferous humans, heaven please! As it is done on earth, let heaven be better than this. What I see on earth here must not exist elsewhere. No!

Kids grow with no knowledge, innocent and pure hearted and then God grants them education and a family embedded in religious zealotry and that's it! Education is expected to open eyes, not close them! Religion is a reminder of God's words and how we may be closer to him, not a means of forgetting to be humane!

God's name is hallowed and sacrosanct but no man's is. Then, politics enter the fray and some leaders take the universe's prime position in their minds. Dashing evil with delirious ingenuity and keeping people hooked to pains and anguish. What is going on on earth here, heaven, please don't repeat!


The earth is befuddling, wars are endless. Sandwiched in political thuggery, misandry and misogyny by different individuals. What ended Sodom and Gomorrah is done with a relentless insouciance now. Are all these happening in heaven too? Educate me if I need to but remember, I will critically break it down again and ask myself, as it is done earth? Heaven should be better, I beg!
Sports / Re: Obafemi Martins Buys 2017 Bentley Bentayga by balogunrealone: 7:11am On Oct 22, 2016
And na my papa no allow me play football oooo.....well, my football age is still 19/20....soccer after school.....
Politics / If Africa Must Rise by balogunrealone: 9:29am On Oct 20, 2016
Africa; the world's second largest and most populous continent and one filled with enchanting flora and fauna, beautiful cultures and arts and a rich history dated back to the beginning of human existence. It is filled with great talents and individual qualities that mirrors its special concentration of human resources and also, blessed with an enviable presence of natural resources, both of which to a large extent have been of little effect, if not ineffective to the growth of Africa.

Egypt, generally tagged as the nation with the oldest existence of human civilization is existent in Africa. Dated back to the paleolithic times by paleoanthropologists who have seen some fossils that signifies the existence of man in Africa since times long gone.

With a population of 1.2billion people and half of which is held by youths, Africa is yet to rise as thought by individuals who now celebrate Africa as a rising continent for its mere increase in the number of people in its 'middle class' and based on its internet penetration and its increasing usage of mobile phones. Of course, Africa needs much more to rise!

If Africa must rise, some things must fall into place, especially its most resource-filled nations and its people. Africa is a continent that has 50% of its population in the "youth" stratum and this has to be richly used and to a great effect. Of Africa's over 1billion human population , Nigeria owns almost 200 million of it and this will increase further by the year 2020. If Africa must rise, Nigeria has to grow.

Nigeria is at the epicentre of Africa's growth and development, holding its highest population, two of its most populous cities in Kano and Lagos and owning arguably its economic capital in the latter. The Nigerian economy as at 2015 was the biggest in Africa and many of her influences even down to entertainment are the strongest selling points of Africa to the rest of the world. If Africa must rise, Nigeria must wake!

The blood Africa needs runs in Nigeria, it has arguably the best individuals ever to have come out of the continent; it is the continent's image to the rest of the world and in every five Africans out there, there is one Nigerian. How then will Africa rise when Nigeria has failed to rise?!

Before now, Nigeria used to be leading producers in agriculture. Now, we can't even produce favourably and comfortably toothpick in our backyards; corruption and a foiled doom in the form of petroleum boom, culprits of our generational decline in value and competence.

The highest ranking by any African team was gotten by Nigeria after the USA 94 World Cup. We were placed 5th in the world and were seen as future super powers in world football. The coming years only got us flattering to deceive and constant managerial changes, inconsistent leadership and stupid power tussles in the federation has rendered us to a typical third world country, even in football. Pele once said Nigeria will be the first African country to lift the world cup. If he still sees what prompted him to make this flattering statement then, I strongly doubt!

Many African nations are underdeveloped and are unconsciously dependent on Nigeria to take them out of their troubled waters- that's why we are tagged giants of Africa and many nations see us as their big brothers. Is corruption Nigeria's biblical porridge? Nigeria has the capacity to be very great, open up other nations and make Africa greater but selfishness and some very negative and bad blooded internal politics won't make us rise as we should.

A government goes out and another steps in and it's the same sad tale of corruption, bad leadership and careless demonstration of "i don kia" towards the people. A nation is as good as its government and a government is as good as those they govern. Nigerians must rise!

We may go carelessly around siphoning public funds and stealing futures with rapture-inviting excuses and build futures in skies and drive vehicles in the wind but as much as we are off the path, we should always remember that, if Africa must rise, Nigeria has to be at the forefront of the pursuit of Africa's long-found, hidden glory as it is its giant, historically and modernly.
God bless Africa!
Literature / Sounds Of Silence by balogunrealone: 8:29am On Oct 20, 2016
"Mazi Okoro! Mazi Okoro ehh!! Mama Obinna! Where this people come pack their legs go for this early morning? Obinna! Obi!! Obinna eh!!! Nawa oh! See as their compound dry like say human beings no dey live here again; na here I go siddon wey dem go meet me. Mama Obinna must pay me my money." Obiangeli kept speaking to the trees and birds. She came around to the Okoros' home to collect her balance from the fees of the clothes she sold to them three days ago. The Okoros planned to sew these clothes and go to church as a family to celebrate the admission of their only child into the University of Nigeria, Nsukka when they met their untimely demise on their way home.


"Driver, wetin dey do your moto?" Obinna asked. "Na the brake dey give us problem before but I don repair am" the driver responded. The driver alighted off his vehicle and went straight to open the bonnet. He went searching all over the engine like he understood where the sound came from. He picked a stone to hit some parts of the engine that he "guessed" might be the reason for the sounds coming from the vehicle. As he restarted the vehicle and waited for 5 minutes without any sound being heard again, he concluded the vehicle was fine. No! There were silent sounds. Sounds too faint that they could be feigned not to exist.


They had barely moved 15 minutes without any sounds when the driver was caught struggling with the steering like he was in a UFC ring. "Driver, wetin happen?" Mazi Okoro asked with fears engorging his face. "I no sabi ooo but e be like say na the brake" the driver answered frantically with sweats dripping out of his skin.

Everyone in the vehicle except Obinna in the vehicle exclaimed "ewoooooooo" when they saw an oncoming heavy load, Mack vehicle. " God, take me away if only education is not good for my soul" Obinna sobbed. As he was about to ask God for forgiveness, the long vehicle hit them at the fore and the vehicle was shred beyond recognition. Everyone in the vehicle died instantly and their bodies were carried to the mortuary by security agents around.

Obiangeli was still all over the Okoro's house shouting on top of her voice ignorant of the evil that befell the Okoros when she was called by their neighbour who was being disturbed by her noises. "Obiangeli, wetin you dey look for?" Mama Amaka asked. You no know say Mazi Okoro, Mama Obinna and Obi die for accident three days ago? You no hear?" she pressed her further.

"Ewooooo! Ewooooo! Chineke meeee!
Obinna, Mazi Okoro, Mama Obi don die....Chaiiiiii. If na joke, stop am ooo, naso people dey die?!" She was now down to tears. As much as she had a soft spot for trouble, Obiangeli was very emotional and has never taken the death of anyone she knew easily. She cried all over the place and the Okoros' neighbours were the ones begging her to stop. They had shed their own tears for three days too.

The whole of the village knew something was wrong. She had knocked with nobody responding. She was ready to fight; not deafened by the sounds of silence that came from the Okoros' home. That they had died just like that was too grievous for her to accept.

"Mama Okoro! Obinna! Come back ooo! Come pay me my money oooo! Eeeeeee!!" Obiangeli shouted! She was now crying and shouting like the family were her blood relatives. People who came there pitied her and she was finally taken home by her husband who carried her on his shoulder with her legs flying.

She couldn't decipher the sounds of silence that greeted her first knock on Mazi Okoro's door; she heard something! She heard some empty sounds that felt like people were around. Alas! She heard no sound! All she ever heard were the sounds of silence because the Okoros were dead; and were not of the human clan again.
Literature / Re: The Journal Of A Nymphomaniac by balogunrealone: 4:40pm On Oct 19, 2016
Laveda:


I need a DIKACHI in my life. cry
don't be scared to try me out....I'm a Doctor in d making but I don't use glasses... grin
Laveda:


I need a DIKACHI in my life. cry
don't be scared to try me out....I'm a Doctor in d making but I don't use glasses...
Literature / Re: The Journal Of A Nymphomaniac by balogunrealone: 3:30pm On Oct 19, 2016
Laveda:


kiss

She's only 14, Obinna should go easy. grin
Work on your brain ooo....no be 16 u see now now?
Celebrities / Re: Davido: "Give Buhari Time, 2 Years Not Enough To Fix Nigeria". Nigerians React by balogunrealone: 10:17am On Oct 19, 2016
Na only Ibo people dey awake that time? Won je Davido ni tutu....
Phones / Re: Some Of The Most Ridiculous Selfies Ever Shared By Nigerian Youths Online (pics) by balogunrealone: 10:49pm On Oct 18, 2016
Wonderful display of "erankoism"...... na Itel cause gbege.....
Crime / Re: Man Beats His 10-year-old Son To Death In Ogun State (photos) by balogunrealone: 10:42pm On Oct 18, 2016
This bastard must have told someone he's training the boy oooo.....if e no die for jail, na Sanponna go punish d judge and anyone who vindicates him......such inhumaneness!
Sports / Re: Alex Iwobi & Girlfriend, Clarisse Loved Up In New Photos by balogunrealone: 10:38pm On Oct 18, 2016
kenzysmith:
Hw will this change the fact that club brugge way I give win or draw cut my ticket just seconds to the end he non go better for them and porto
. Pele tie brother....no be today
Sports / Mikel Is A Patriot by balogunrealone: 6:10pm On Oct 17, 2016
So, some Nigerians still think Mikel should be dropped from the Super Eagles because he's not playing for Chelsea. Interesting! Sometimes I wonder how many lobes some people's brain has!
The young man has been the brain behind the revival and newly found belief in the greatness of the Super Eagles, risking his employer's wrath at a time when transitioning was taking place. He knew how Behemoth the risk he took was and fully understood he's got to make sacrifices for his nation, still, some people don't appreciate him.

He donated #10m to the Dream Team at the Olympics and spared the team's blushes, saved the nation from disgrace by being the voice of the team when they gave over 25 people one parachute esque airplane to travel with from Atlanta to Brazil. Still, some people think he's not patriotic enough. He came back from the Olympics and didn't excuse himself from the national team as most players in his position would have done, he came home and played well against Tanzania and still, some people think he should be dropped.

He knew Chelsea was in a transition and he has spent eleven years serving them, it was a blatant decision of choice to either make his nation greater or earn another manager's respect at Chelsea, something that presents itself too often to Mikel owing to Chelsea's constant managerial change. Despite not being in the bench in any of Chelsea's games this season and being dropped for players like Nathaniel Chalobah, he still played well for Nigeria when he was called upon, still someone feels he's not patriotic enough. He's not patriotic enough but will travel down from England with his money to play for his country and may play three matches without bonuses. Why do some Nigerians just love misplaced criticisms?

Nigerian politicians cart away with billions and some can't even sing the national anthem correctly without spitting bloopers but Mikel Obi, the super patriotic Super Eagles player and one who earns his money legitimately for playing his football will be tagged "unpatriotic". If what Mikel has done is being unpatriotic, I advise every Nigerian to be unpatriotic because it seems there's nothing we can call patriotism again. Mikel deserves a lot of respect. He may not be the regular flamboyantly skillful guy like JayJay Okocha or the leggy magician like Kanu Nwankwo but Mikel is arguably one of Nigeria's greatest footballers of all time whether anyone likes it or not. And with him being the leader of the team, the Super Eagles will be great again. If una don collect your coaching badges, sack Mikel and place Haruna Lukman as the team's no10. Nonsense!

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Literature / War Of Whores by balogunrealone: 12:08am On Oct 01, 2016
That Thursday morning was the last in the month. I woke
up to discover my pocket was begging my bank to ring me an alert- I was broke. Marriage has been responsible for my newly found responsibility. No night parties, no clubbing "till momma calls". My TGIFs(Thank God It's Fridays) were now used in company of my beautiful wife, Felicia. This meant I had enough to save for the projected acquisition of my car. I was very disciplined with what I spent and helpfully, there was no longer a war of whores at the club. It was an enjoyable new lease of life.

After that day's work, I felt my phone vibrating on my laps. I wasn't comfortable with that and I could not pick the call as I was on an "okada"(motorcycle) home. As soon as I alighted off the bike, I called Samantha back. It was nice to hear her voice, everything she said pointed to the fact that she wanted good moments with me again. I rode her past her best, I gave her a journey worth the memories. Denying my feelings for her too would be falsehood, I enjoyed every bit of what she supplied, she was my "pretty" LovePeddler.

We agreed to meet on the evening of the next day. Luckily, Felicia wanted to break a sad happy news to me. " Darling, I'd be travelling tomorrow to see my mum; I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier." I frowned in pretence like the story was truly sad but the joys that strode past me were big and fat. " Okay, no problem baby, but you don't do such again. What if I had other plans for our weekend?", I asked falsely.

The big challenge now remains how I'll get some money. I asked Felicia to lend me some money which she was happy to; I expected her to be elated to please me at this point. The next day, Felicia ensured I was #50k richer, thanks to my adorable, heavenly wife. Samantha had sent a message asking me when I would be at the club. I called her back and I was set and there at the groove again, it was a super duper moment. I simply knew how to drive Sam crazy. She was a real match for my sensual dexterity too.

We were through and I felt nostalgic, now Samantha was sitting on my laps kissing and caressing my almost bare, hairy chest. I had looked up to have some air when I saw my wife doing same to another man just some metres away. She caressed his stubbles and was really into him, but what could I do? I was on a rendezvous with a LovePeddler too, I'd only seem like a false voyage.

I kept this story for the graves to deplete when I'm dead, because not in my life again will I have another war of whores. I was married to one and I'm flirting with a grander evil. "God help this devil I am" I said to myself.
Literature/Writing Ads / African Gods! by balogunrealone: 3:07pm On Sep 28, 2016
It was the start of a scintillating campaign for the upcoming elections; we were the favourites, blessed with insouciant leaders and wonderful speakers. Since the public were in love with well organised spoken words, my father, the party chairman had gone rummaging for the finest journalists in our state. We were able to tame two of the finest scribblers and speakers to our side. A complete team was now in place and we could storm the streets with our microphones, standing on platforms to sell what we hardly had. Frank Sethondi, the royal prince of our town was strongly and viably in support of our ambitions. This was a morale booster because; like I heard, everything he touches turns gold. I had come all the way from the United Kingdom on my father's request to contest for a political office that was not the grandest but the most hotly wanted in the state; my father told me that and I never bothered to ask what office it was. I wanted to be relevant to the masses and the society that bred me, so I considered this a beautiful opportunity. It was time to prove myself but something was always standing between my thighs and the next step.


Our first campaign was massive. I've only seen such a powerfully voiced crowd when I was in my teenage years. Days when Sewendo left everybody-young and old, rich and poor, sizzling at the dexterity of his words and in absolute love with his discerning ability to muster the right statement. I had wanted to be like that someday, maybe that someday is now, I thought. Everything I said was greeted with a thunderous applause. My campaign team were right behind me, solidly standing and giving me the titbit of what the crowd wanted to hear, it felt shameful that I'd forgotten all the things that used to be my shtick. It was more painful that I'd lost that thing that made me streetwise; I'd lost my ability to be unafraid at the face of adversities but I never stopped, I listened to them and I wowed the crowd. Confidence permeated through my spines after that particular campaign. The grand support I had was palpable and it was looking like a rollercoaster ride for me, apparently, then came the worst that broke my back and erased my tracks.



OurNews Newspapers were a company I really admired and loved. Their columnists and correspondents were very active and it wasn't a surprise when my father chose two of their staffs to be members of our campaign media team, but the news they carried this morning was bitter- much more than bile. I prayed it never came to be. I saw my father's dead body in a pool of his own blood. Investigations proved he was shot. I wanted to run for my life. "Na by force to become.........what post am I contesting for?....." It was that moment I realised I was only a part of a grander, bigger, setup. My father was killed after he failed to accept to pleadings for my withdrawal to let the royal prince of Sethondi step in as the Governor to-be of the state, his closest associate told me. Everything was set for my victory and there was no going back for the people. If he had contested, nobody would vote for him, I thought he had powers, he did truly but lacked the intellectual nous to pull a crowd. I had to run for my life. I'd just been used in a real African politics. Politics of enchanting deceit and wickedness.


I was in the midst of a people who knew what they wanted, what I wanted, where I would pass and what I had. They knew who would give me what I needed and they understood how to have what I had with what they had and needed. They are the real African gods, who knew the game of evil better than the devil!
Every step I took, they saw; everything I said, they expected; what I was going to become, they always had known but when their powers will stop to conquer is the day of their death, timely or untimely.
Poems For Review / Fashion by balogunrealone: 2:13pm On Sep 01, 2016
Relative to the ears Different to the eyes It changes with time It transforms with years What you wear in sunshine Is different from the khaki on ice
Fashion is different with Fasheun and fat Sean, One loves his white robes and the other loves to sag, To some, it's a style, to others, it's a passion, But the final bus stop is all about attraction,
How come we see tattered jeans worn by people with brains! Or coloured hairs worn by people with colours, Is Rihanna Nigerian or Kanye from the West? What is worn far East differs from the North West,
Black faces fazed out and you see two faces, Like my daddy's old telly, I see black and white, Some are like Chiefs from Kaizer, black and yellow, That cream gave them a pair, dark and light,
Ankara for show; I love those parties, Even when Adekunle dons his gold, it's his "Adire" that catches, Oo wo ankara, oo je semo, my Yoruba heroes, Beads soon turn gowns, respect to the Ibos,
What Yusuf puts on is beautiful, I love Danladi, Hausa women dress for sauce, oh, I love that lady! Blame not Sandra for the bum shorts she wears roaming streets, Market go sell my brother, the economy is strict!
My brother puts his ties on and I smile, Then someone puts on orange on lemon, who will help me cry? Blue wigs, brown lips, my sister, who you epp? I need to see the first person crazy jeans has helped,
You have ankle issues, yet put on high heels, Isssh; heels on fleek, knees so weak, Fashion is key but you don't have to be sick, Fashion isn't by force, make-up na skill! Yet if you aren't beautiful, no making up will up your beauty, still, Even with its powerful ability to make temporary transformations, The fashion you have is down to your will,
Welcome to the advents of gele tying lessons, To those who listened to their mothers, now this is a blessing, Gone are the days when there was nothing for an Obioma! Now a fashion designer's hubby is driving a hummer,
Where the world has gotten in fashion is a sensation, And Dolce belts gives Mr. Gabbana temptations, Adidas' snickers are pretty, Nike shirts are sterling, Zanotti bags and Versace jeans make up a darling, Fashion is beauty, fashion is awesome, But we need some sense to keep the awe plum!
Poems For Review / Mogadishu by balogunrealone: 1:47pm On Sep 01, 2016
The son of a poor Somali; He loved education and his curly, radiant hairs, Ladies flocked around him in their droves, Yet so poor, naive and too meek,
He would grow to be his parents' pride, When he's out and he brings back a pretty, gorgeous bride, Perhaps he will attend a school in Nairobi, And pick his wife from Uganda,
He went to school amidst the troubles, Making it through the nights was too much a hustle, The books he read were just for fun, Since he knew nothing about them,
Father is sick, mother is dying, Poor Somali boy keeps trying, Then one night, At the death of the night, When "wee" is the description of the hour, Something louder than his father's rage was in the air, Perhaps some are doing merry making, For the schools in Mombasa have admitted them, But Lo! Behold, it is a bomb behind their ears, Father died from the blast as he marched in weakness to his grave, And mother is alive in heaven after her death on earth, Poor man's son on a poor day, What life has served him is a poor session,
He fled his village for Mogadishu, Where there was a peace pleading with wars, He saw the morgues and the shoes, And his courage bled from sores, Belligerents caught up with him and he was handed a gun, "You shoot, you shoot and you let your bullets run" That was his life making a turn, For the worse? No, for the curse!
The cloud was dark and the morning almost passed, Soot and smoke soothed his choke, Amidst the war he took a bottle of coke, And admirably, he stood up and spoke, "War is good for my bloke"
He had fled Mogadishu before the morning called, The morgues and the shoes got his confidence hauled, Poor Somali boy moved and ran as fast as he could, But no! His fate wouldn't, Death was the end of his journey, After all, he had no soul to mourn his demise, There on the Sahara, he laid, While the winds and sands blinded him, The vultures plucked his visionary eyes, And the earths ate his wholesome dreams!

1 Like

Literature/Writing Ads / Re: ....I by balogunrealone: 1:35pm On Sep 01, 2016
virus05:
Please quote me if you can write articles. Payment every week

dapundit62@gmail.com------you can check for my works on facebook at Balogun Ridwan Adetayo and on idey.me
Politics / Re: BBC Mocks Buhari's Ear Infection With A Sarcastic Question, Nigerians Blast(pic) by balogunrealone: 8:54am On Jul 17, 2016
Brexit or whatever crap they are going to do is called....they see faults in stars and have failed to twinkle too......they are the democrats but for the second time in a decade, have gotten two Prime Ministers without election, is that position a selective one? They should face their business abeg...
Jokes Etc / Art by balogunrealone: 6:46am On Jun 15, 2016
In Case You Can

Good day my brothers from other mothers, I know you won't slumber while I bother. You see presently, I need your orders to go beyond my borders because what my future is projecting is past what my lips can muster. And I know I'm bordered by people who will take me further. Forget my rhymes at this time, it is not prime and my lips are sour like lime. All I need from you is a favour, a favour rich in flavour, I promise I will be of good behaviour, please I count on you to be my saviour. All I need is your help.
You can imagine I woke up today and was just stretching like an elastic material, nobody to even call and ask, "hello bae, how is your day?" After I finished stretching, I didn't even see anybody to cook for me, because I'm distant from home, there is a thriller in my tummy, is my tummy Manila? The kind of boxers in my stomach will send Mayweather asking for winter in June. I'm severely hungry and that's why I've called on you for my rescue. I promise I will say thank you!
All I want to ask for isn't much; I need a lady that is dark and fair at the same time but I don't want a lady that wears makeups; I need a lady that won't hiss when she's pissed and won't cry when she's pained. I trust you can help me with this; I need a young lady that is short and won't put on high-heeled shoes on her friend's wedding ceremony. It may sound so difficult to get but you see, I know this is something I know you can do for me.
My daddy is complaining that I'm just getting leaner daily and what I told him shocked him to the marrow , I answered like my thinking was narrow. I said I'm getting leaner cos I want to be lean da Ikeji(lean da second) and buy a house in Banana Island. Please, my brothers, can you help me get a girl that won't follow me there cos she's afraid of monkeys? I'm just here on a hot afternoon taking selfish pictures, they call it selfie, I need a lady that will tell me to stop doing it!

These little things are paining me and that's why I've told you, I'm waiting earnestly for your reply. In case you didn't get a lady that won't mind if I carry her friend in front of my car while she sits at the back, I'd need to ask you this final favour.


Please, do you have a fiancee you are not dating so I can couple her and make you the best man?
Politics / Article by balogunrealone: 4:59am On Jun 15, 2016
Militancy: The Voice of the Poor or A Canopy For The Selfish

I grew up to know one name, "Asari Dokubo";always in the news for his endless battles with Olusegun Obasanjo, with his people hailing him to high heavens and he, as a mark of happy leadership, starts doling out English Language to his expectant followers like a man showing the beauty of his diction after the Queen's visit. He seemed a very influential person to me then, I wasn't aware of militancy, I only wanted to know why his people stood behind him firmly.
Ralph Nwazuruike is not a militant but a strong Igbo man that has soaked the heats of pressure and has had his fair share of troubles. The MASSOB leader was said to be fighting for the secession of Biafra, a battle Nnamdi Kanu has also taken up but under entirely an different atmosphere yet with the same striking altruism. Sometimes methinks some people are just comfortable siphoning the rewards of their people and later instigating them against the government, other times, it seems entirely like a cause just beyond any reasonable iota of doubt.


We understand there was a deal in place to add grease to the pockets of MEND leaders, Tompolo and Mujahid Asari Dokubo as frontrunners. These are no news. The only feasible way to peace here is through negotiation but in a situation where the conditions are too expensive and undeserving, the books have to be reevaluated and core decisions must be made, hence, the cancellation of the Amnesty deal and the consequent birth of Niger Delta Avengers. Please, what are they avenging? That their leaders are good images of immense corruption or that selfishness has been the watchword in Niger Delta for quite sometime now? Of course yes, the Niger Delta Avengers are not wrong to dissipate their "vexed" energies but when you blow up pipes and sink a drowning economy further, then questions must be asked.
Nature is one beautiful thing we all can't do without and the more we see its pulchritude magnanimity, we get concerned about ourselves as a people especially when we lose it for no prior compensatory mechanisms adequately put in place. Oil spillage has been an endless trouble to Niger Deltans. With a destroyed ecosystem and what they could call their source of living gasping for breath, then the streets come calling. The boys go to the streets, guns in hands and disturb the nation's peace too. If that's their megaphone, so be it! The sounds of a blown oil pipe are never faint, these problems are not sultry. The feeling of a cheated man is rife!


Ken Saro Wiwa was killed alongside those 9 uncommon Nigerians for standing up for their people peacefully, it is also "welcoming" to see some selfish people try to mimic such with flamboyance here, the Niger Delta Avengers don't care who gets hurt, they sake for attention and they rightfully got one. Now it's the Bakassi Strike Force!
If people are strangers on their lands, visitors to their country and landlords of refugee camps on their own lands, then such strike forces is imminent. The Bakassi Peninsula was ceded to Cameroon after a judgement by the International Court of Justice. The histrionics of the Bakassi Peninsula going to Cameroon is borne out of some serious, selfish politicking. The people of Bakassi were perhaps slumbering before now but it's obvious this is the finest moment to make some noise and the world will listen to you.


Militancy is a way that some poor voices can get to the upper echelons of power but when induced by selfishness and destruction of the nation's economical foothold, militarism may also be used to check it yet the Yorubas will say, "A spoilt banana shouldn't be wasted while cutting while the bad child should not be beaten mercilessly too". In a country where there are 90 people going frustrated out of a possible hundred, militancy may just be a way to tell the world their aches but while the poor are truly aggrieved, this militancy seems like an arranged movie directed and produced by the same selfish heads who collect their people's rights and make the wrong calls.
Today, the Niger Delta Avengers have grown much more popular than when they started, whoever is championing the cause will soon be exposed and their calls to be heard will be listened to but like every case of militancy, heads will roll!

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