₦airaland Forum

A SATIRE ON NIGERIAN POLICEMEN AND THEIR 'BEGGARIC' IDIOSYNCRASIES.

BY: Ganiyu Opeyemi O'king.

I think It's high time they made some amendments to the Nigerian police policy. Why can't we call a spade a spade and stop hiding under the umbrella of pretence?

Gone are the days when our so called law enforcement agents were ashamed of bribery. It's a daily routine now, and they take delight in it. It seems like the authority has promised them that the best corrupt person would be rewarded at the end of the year.What an interesting system! 'Change they say is inevitable' I think I'm now beginning to subscribe to the concept of Regeneration. Bribery and corruption are now taking positive meanings. Nigeria is developing I must say!

Nigeria is endowed with so many talents. Creativity is a great phenomenon I respect in our own professional beggars, they give awesome nomenclatures, they call #50 'white' and #400 '4'. These bunch of capable professional beggars are diligent businessmen. In fact, they look for change from their co-beggars. What a great virtue! Even the scripture says in Ecclesiastes 9:10 that Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might. Kudos to them, they would be, through this, rewarded greatly in heaven.

I propose they should step up their games and introduce A point of sale known as (POS) to foster their transactions. The federal government might even establish an institution and name it FEDERAL UNIVERSITY OF BRIBERY AND CORRUPTION and through this, they could be able to learn the rudiments of the concepts.

I'm just imagining a scenario where our so called policemen who are meant to protect the people are shouting 'help us, help us, the armed robbers are raiding our station o'.

What an irony!

However, corruption is now a virtue rather than a vice. Most government officials are now basking in the pool of corruption. What a shameful nation!

In conclusion, I would implore the citizenry to support these bunch of capable beggars in their daily dealings. We all know they aren't handicaps, they have hands and legs, but they just chose to be beggars and they are good at what they do, which I respect a lot. I'm sure their children would be proud of their respective parents, what a good legacy to leave behind for children!

Ganiyu Opeyemi O'king
A student of Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, Osun State.

 LANGUAGE; ONE OF OUR MAJOR PROBLEMS IN AFRICA


BY: Ganiyu Opeyemi O'king


It baffles me when I see some human beings frowning at those who speak indigenous languages or those who aren't that fluent in English language, English is a foreign language the last time I checked.

I think It's hightime we valued our indigenous languages and come to the realisation that it is our responsibility to embrace them. Parts of the misconceptions we have come to believe are: African languages are barbarous, unintelligible forms of speech spoken by savages and low people; not worthy of God's creation and certainly not worthy of civilisation and industrialization.

In the 13th century, English language was the language of the commoners, that is, it was used by those in the marketplaces; those who can be said to have a completely 'low life'. In 1332 at Oxford University, there was a decree that all conversations must be in Latin and in French. That was because they felt English was too barbaric. English language that we value now was once used informally. Despite the overriding influence of Latin and French, the Britons still held on to their language (English) which is part of their culture. America was colonised by the Britain, but the Americans have their own Standard English different from the British English. But here in Nigeria, reverse is the case.

It was stated in one of Nigeria's language policies that 'the business of a national assembly shall be conducted in English and in Hausa, Igbo or Yoruba when adequate arrangements have been made therefore'. Only God knows when adequate arrangements would be made. How many of our so called legislators can speak their indigenous languages without code-switching into the English language? It is what one knows or has the knowledge of that one uses. There are lots of language provisions that need implementation by the government. It is as if those provisions hold a gun to their heads that ' if you implement us we would kill you'.

Also, Nigerian parents are part of the problem. They are of the opinion that 'our children cannot speak native languages (Yoruba, Igbo or Hausa). Though, English is our official language; it is the language of the government, education, instruction, and media. This is because of the heterogeneous nature of Nigeria or language diversification. Some of these parents are semi-lingual, that is, they are not fluent in both languages (English and any other indigenous language). Some are missile launchers, they break and deviate from grammatical norms. English is a foreign language to us, there is no way we could observe all the rules. Even Nigerian professors launch missiles unconsciously and occasionally; English is not our language for God's sake! We must understand this.

In conclusion, it is the responsibility of the government and individuals to embrace these languages of ours. Indigenous languages must be made compulsory at all educational levels, from primary to tertiary level. They should be a prerequisite for admission and graduation. It should be 'FAIL IN ANY OF THE NATIVE LANGUAGE, FAIL IN ALL'. The government should also implement all the language provisions. Parents should start encouraging their children to speak indigenous languages. All the media houses should also follow the same step. Language and culture are like a snail and its shell; they are inseparable. Language is a culture that must be embraced.

#Okingthinks...�
#Okingwrites...✍


GANIYU OPEYEMI SAMUEL
A Student of Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, Osun State.

Afolabi6046:
boss! how far now?

The Chaotic state of O.A.U Campus
Oau is at the edge of the sea
Dilapidated and congested hostels and lecture
theatres
Bathrooms have turned to river nile, where you
have to swim before getting to the lavatory
No differences between hostels and shops
Lecture theatres are like cages
Students are taken hostage during lectures
The so called school management who is
suffering from myopia, has nothing to do about
it
Instead of building or renovating hostels and
lecture theatres
They are embarking on irrelevant projects, just
to satisfy their personal interest
This is a campaign against the unfair state of
o.a.u students
most of the seats are missing like an aged
man's teeth
Students are left with no choice than to sit on
the floor in most cases.
Those sitting haven't understand things being
taught let alone those sitting on the floor
There is a saying that we are the leaders of
tomorrow, But the probability is minus fifty
Malaria isn't phenomenal anymore
Mosquitoes and rats are also given bedspaces
Health centre has turned to a bank
Haven't said anything at all, anti malaria tablet
would be given at health centre
This is a protest for change
The so called best university in Nigeria is in
discombobulated conditions
#o'king
#aluta continua

The Chaotic state of O.A.U Campus

Oau is at the edge of the sea
Dilapidated and congested hostels and lecture theatres
Bathrooms have turned to river nile, where you have to swim before getting to the lavatory
No differences between hostels and shops
Lecture theatres are like cages
Students are taken hostage during lectures

The so called school management who is suffering from myopia, has nothing to do about it
Instead of building or renovating hostels and lecture theatres
They are embarking on irrelevant projects, just to satisfy their personal interest
This is a campaign against the unfair state of o.a.u students
most of the seats are missing like an aged man's teeth
Students are left with no choice than to sit on the floor in most cases.
Those sitting haven't understand things being taught let alone those sitting on the floor

There is a saying that we are the leaders of tomorrow, But the probability is minus fifty
Malaria isn't phenomenal anymore
Mosquitoes and rats are also given bedspaces
Health centre has turned to a bank
Haven't said anything at all, anti malaria tablet would be given at health centre
This is a protest for change
The so called best university in Nigeria is in discombobulated conditions


#o'king
#aluta continua

O'KING CONCEPT

O'KING CONCEPT

The difference between a cafeteria and a restaurant, in a cafeteria you pay before you eat while in a restaurant you eat before your pay. life is like a cafeteria payment comes before enjoyment, one of the favourite quote of my literature teacher back then in secondary school."you pay the price before you win the prize" you can't get everything on a platter of gold you work for it. #facts
@barack_oking on twitter.

The difference between a cafeteria and a restaurant, in a cafeteria you pay before you eat while in a restaurant you eat before your pay. life is like a cafeteria payment comes before enjoyment, one of the favourite quote of my literature teacher back then in secondary school."you pay the price before you win the prize" you can't get everything on a platter of gold you work for it. #facts
@barack_oking on twitter.

who says you can't do it,once i can do it you can also do it.I discovered myself by myself nobody helped me with the discovery the only person that can change you life is YOU.move to the driver's seat be in charge of your life take absolute control of your life."am responsible" let that be your mantra,make that ultimate resolution today.have you been told you can never make it or you are controlled by your past experience full of frustration and negativity. determine today that you would be the architect of your life and future don't blame others for your failure stop making excuses. live a life of example let people envy you, Benjamin franklin said" for you not to be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten is either you do things worth writing or write things worth reading. nothing is to big for you to achieve, napoleon hill said what the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve it.I discovered we usually be what we think about most of the time, be optimistic think positively think about your bright future and work towards it. Ganiyu Opeyemi @barack_oking on twitter.

who says you can't do it,once i can do it you can also do it.I discovered myself by myself nobody helped me with the discovery the only person that can change you life is YOU.move to the driver's seat be in charge of your life take absolute control of your life."am responsible" let that be your mantra,make that ultimate resolution today.have you been told you can never make it or you are controlled by your past experience full of frustration and negativity. determine today that you would be the architect of your life and future don't blame others for your failure stop making excuses. live a life of example let people envy you, Benjamin franklin said" for you not to be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten is either you do things worth writing or write things worth reading. nothing is to big for you to achieve, napoleon hill said what the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve it.I discovered we usually be what we think about most of the time, be optimistic think positively think about your bright future and work towards it.
Ganiyu Opeyemi
@barack_oking on twitter.

azeezat201:
Join me in thanking God o! Finally gotten a bedspace

wen were u given?

efyzhi:
Hbd boss may u live long to witness more in good health and uncountable gobsmacked achievements..... Enjoy ur day

tanx a bunch I Realy appreciate

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Anyway as we are preparing for resumption let me chip in
this.
A statement from the management reads:
The Management of Obafemi Awolowo
University (OAU), Ile-Ife wishes to inform
parents/guardians of Obafemi Awolowo
University students and the general public that
the new regimes of charges for students are as
follows:
FRESH STUDENTS:
ACCEPTANCE FEES -N20,000
ACCOMODATION--N3,090
Faculty/Programmes Charges Per Session
LAW/ARTS/SOCIAL SCIENCES/ADMIN/EDU.
ARTS N43,700 Per Session
SCIENCE/EDM/EDUC. SCIENCE/TECH/AGRIC
N54,700 Per Session
MEDICINE/PHARMACY/HEALTH SCIENCES
N57,700 Per Session
And a Development Levy of Eighteen thousand
naira (N18, 000.00), which is paid once and for all by Fresh
Students
throughout the duration of their studentship in the University.
Registration to commence any moment from now.
The University Management also wishes to
inform parents/guardians and the general
public that figures that may be brandished
about by individuals or groups, different from
the above are false and are not from the
University authorities.

Lekmight1:
guy am admitted for english literature will add my number 08102520961

08169221889 Datz mai digit add Me up....:..............

queenabby:
thk GOD,is ur name in d third list

I fink so I checked mai admission status tru schl site nd I found dis
Admission Information
FACULTY: Arts
DEPARTMENT: English
COURSE ADMITTED FOR: B.A English
COURSE CHANGED TO: Nil
ADMISSION MODE: UTME
ADMISSION STATUS: ADMITTED. CONGRATULATIONS !
.

SEE FOR URSELF
Admission Information
FACULTY: Arts
DEPARTMENT: English
COURSE ADMITTED FOR: B.A English
COURSE CHANGED TO: Nil
ADMISSION MODE: UTME
ADMISSION STATUS: ADMITTED. CONGRATULATIONS !
.

Am absolutely elated I feel on top of d
world...Tank God I finally made it

I Jst saw my name on d schl site

I hope u guyz deliver safely dos of una carryin d pregnancy of anxiety...u gonna put 2 bed soon

ADENIYI1871:
The list will be release hopefully b4 25th

HOPEFULLY!!!...nic 1 i believe u though

PlutoLA:
Merging isn't possible or feasible at all. The logistics of the whole process will be too difficult. Hostels won't be enough,school facilities will be insufficient most importantly there'll be overpopulation in all faculties

true talk...well said

Neyova:
I'm having the feeling that OAU will merge students this year.

fank God it wasnt a feeling of the schl management or a dean bt a feeling of an ordinary guy who enjoyed staying @ home...so it doesnt move me

Profjay97:
D oau 3rd batch list ll b out by jan.5 2015

Hw tru Iz it?

Delafruita:
hi.please i have been trying to check admission status for my lil sister on jamb"s website but i cant even seem to be able to type in the registration number.OAU website has admission portal for 2012 so i'd be grateful if you could help me check the status
registration number-47132749BB

thanks a lot

PLS Watz her aggregate

dejii01:
Sorry, No Admission is Given Yet!!!

pls can u use laptop 2 check dis 47405543bi

wanna check 4 sum1 47405543bi...pls ASAP

sammyendowed:
THANK GOD I HAVE BEEN GIVEN ADMISSION INTO MY PREFERRED COURSE SOCIOLOGY AND ANTHROPOLOGY. WITH JUST 201 as my aggregate score.

congrats....Watz ur ful name

wen is d second list likely to cum out...peepz plenty wey dey anticipate o

XXX5:
guyz drop ur contacts to join the whats app group

barackoking
moyes5757
Chiamaka01
Johnwills
Ardehyemmie
babysmart
Timmytimmy
umm
Dammytrager
haydot95
poposki33
understatement

nd others...

08169221889

poposki33:
thanks

u welcum

poposki33:
please how do you calculate OAU cutoff. mark

utme+putme divided by 2 Iz equal to aggregate