₦airaland Forum

The landlord also must be taken into custody because landlord and tenant matters aren’t settled at the police station

oarowosola:
I met her sometime around April or May last year, and from the beginning, things seemed fine between us. Like every relationship, we both made sacrifices, and even though I don’t like keeping score in relationships, I know I gave a lot of myself into it. Over time, though, I started noticing certain habits and behaviors that became harder and harder for me to ignore. At first, I kept convincing myself that maybe I was overthinking things or expecting too much, but eventually I realized that I was simply becoming exhausted.

One of the biggest issues for me was cleanliness and basic responsibility. I’m not a perfect person, and I can be nonchalant too. I’m someone who enjoys my own space and doesn’t constantly need attention or communication. If someone is busy and doesn’t check up on me for a while, I honestly don’t take it personally. But what bothered me was the imbalance. She could disappear for days or weeks whenever she was occupied and expect me to understand, but if I withdrew into my own space just to protect my peace, she would become upset about it. That double standard was one of the first things that started weighing on me emotionally.

The first time I visited her house, I was shocked by how untidy it was. I’m not obsessive about cleanliness, but I believe there should be a basic level of order, especially when you know someone is visiting you for the first time. When she came to my place for the first time, I made an effort. I cleaned my house , mopped the floor, arranged the bed, and even bought small things just to make the environment more comfortable. It wasn’t about trying to impress her with money; it was simply intentionality. I wanted her to feel welcomed.

But each time I visited her place, the environment remained the same. One particular day, after she stepped out, I decided to clean the entire house myself just to prove a point. While sweeping, I found sugar inside the couch, rotting cashew scattered around, and several things that clearly caused unpleasant odors. I cleaned the parlour, arranged the bedroom, organized her bags, and put everything in order. When she came back, she thanked me, but I remember telling her that it shouldn’t get to the point where her boyfriend had to clean her entire house before it became livable. I told her clearly that if I visited again and the place was still in that condition, it would probably be the last time I came there.

Unfortunately, nothing changed. On another visit, the smell in the house was so terrible that I kept trying to trace where it was coming from. Eventually, I discovered a sack beside the couch she had been sitting on. Something inside it had gone bad, and the odor was unbearable. I carried it outside myself because I couldn’t understand how someone could stay in that environment comfortably. Later, when she went to make yam and eggs, I followed her into the kitchen and found another terrible smell coming from plates that had clearly been sitting there for days. Instead of cleaning the sink first, she simply pushed the dirty dishes aside and placed the yam directly on the dirty sink to peel it. In that moment, I felt completely traumatized and emotionally checked out.

Beyond cleanliness, I also started feeling unappreciated in the relationship. On her birthday, I called her early in the morning, posted her on my WhatsApp status, and celebrated her the best way I could at the time, even though I was broke. Yet she still complained that I didn’t make her birthday special enough. Meanwhile, on my own birthday, there was no call in the morning, no thoughtful gesture, nothing until later at night when she casually said she forgot because she had been going through a lot. What hurt me more was that I had actually bought her gifts for her birthday, including a designer bag and matching slippers I personally made for her. It wasn’t really about material things; it was the imbalance in effort and thoughtfulness.

I also noticed the same imbalance in everyday life. Whenever she visited my place, I was usually the one cooking, cleaning, and taking care of things even while working from home as a shoemaker. Most times she would just sit pressing her phone while I handled everything. She barely cooked for me throughout the relationship, and eventually I stopped going out of my way because I started feeling taken for granted.

Money became another issue. She would borrow money and either delay repayment or never complete it. As a shoemaker, the money I receive for jobs is not pure profit because most of it goes back into materials and production. Yet I still found myself lending her large amounts from jobs I was supposed to complete quickly. Even when she paid back partially, it felt emotionless, almost like she didn’t recognize the inconvenience it caused me.

The final straw happened recently when she visited me during a very busy work period. She suggested we spend the night in a hotel even though my house was already comfortable, and I agreed. I paid for the room, and when food was ordered later that night, I still ended up paying almost everything despite already spending heavily on the hotel. The next day, after returning from the market exhausted from buying materials for work, I expected to at least meet food at home since all the ingredients were available. Instead, I walked into a kitchen with bread wrappers and milk sachets scattered around while she had already eaten without cleaning up after herself. I still ended up cooking for myself.

The following morning, after she made food during the night, she left the kitchen in complete disorder again. Pots, plates, and leftovers were everywhere while I woke up early to continue working. Rather than cleaning up, she sat watching TikTok videos. Eventually I had to pause my own work to clean the kitchen myself because I couldn’t stand the environment anymore. At that point, I realized I was mentally exhausted.

What made everything clearer for me was understanding that this wasn’t just about dirt or money. It was about incompatibility. I realized I was constantly carrying responsibilities that should have been shared. I’m not against people hiring cleaners or getting help. I also take some of my clothes to dry cleaners. But there’s a difference between getting assistance and being unable to handle basic responsibilities yourself. If someone who is meant to clean your house doesn’t show up, there should still be a basic ability to sweep, organize, remove trash, and maintain a healthy environment. I couldn’t understand depending entirely on other people for something so fundamental.

At some point, I stopped seeing peace in the relationship. I started feeling drained instead of supported. Even during intimate moments, she would make comments like, “If you leave me, I will haunt you,” and although she may not have meant it literally, those kinds of statements only made me more uncomfortable emotionally.

Eventually, I accepted the truth that we are simply not compatible. I don’t hate her, and I’m not trying to paint myself as perfect. I just know that I can no longer continue in a relationship where I constantly feel emotionally exhausted, unappreciated, and burdened. I’ve reached a point where I no longer want to argue, explain, or force things to work. I’ve already made up my mind that the relationship is over, and at this point, I just want to walk away peacefully and move on with my life.

What do you think? Be nice please

Google file photo used for illustration

Dude please save yourself the trouble of being with this lady.

Two pictures, one face, different complexions. Which is which ?

I have quit taking imported anti malaria drugs. Lumal made by SKG pharma in Nigeria, that’s the one I trust now although Camosunate is also very good but I want to patronize made in Nigeria now.

What if Tinubu does the unthinkable and rehires them ?

alanto:
No matter the party or association. You guys can never organise yourself. Primary de go on the whole of Nigeria. E reach SE peace disappear.

Your tribalist tendencies is just too disgusting. Is it not in Lagos and several other states that the APC is having problems in their primaries. Wasn’t it Desmond Elliot himself who said a lot of his supporters were harmed, who harmed them. Shame on you for trying to spin a tribal narrative. I spiit on you, you disgust me,

It’s not like Otti won’t win second term. So this is just part of the script

Tinubu and Makinde and the security apparatus of both the state and federal government have been rubbished in this administration.

malakaimoscondo:
this one belief wating trump they churn out.....no single war aim achieve..and u called that victory?ayatola is a normal person like Israeli, Americans and Iranian who lost their lives..regime change,,end and handover uraniun enrichment,limit missiles range,end ballistic missile.program and stop financing proxies..tel me any of this goal that the intervention met?all the US military bases in Middle East decimated..trump is using emotions for many like u but reserve logic for few in his inner circle...he told them iran Is tough opponents..Iran is charging $2m per passage for ship in strait of Hormus.,brand it security service fee..in d long run u will hear the truth about the war..mind u trump is reluctant to restart the war...

Okay 👍

Even as a Trump supporter, I admit that I didn’t even see Iran being this resilient in the fight. Hopefully Trump should see to the end of this war soon, our objectives have been met. If anything Ayotoallah is with us 72 virgins now.

Awesome 👏

Hopefully we can reward him next season with the league title

Phabulous4:
You're making 250 per kg!

Nawa oo

Should he be making 50 naira only ?

What did she do after ? Leave it there or pack it ?

Awesome. Illegal migration must end. If only our northern borders were as secure under former and current governments, insecurity might have been nipped in the bud.

Bakrabas:
It's called flashlight/ flash

Okay prof

I flashed her my torchlight

Good luck to him. You can leave the country leave.

Krankhead:
una don dey push the guy. Nah so una push am till.he collapsed.
I know Fugbara will be regretting for listening to Arise crews and quack lawyers who advised to fight wike

Stfu. Does fubara use Nairaland. Una don Dey push be guy like Wike is a saint and what Wike is doing is right.

ufotunang:
..why are they afraid of fubara

There’s nothing to be afraid of him. Have you read the 48 laws of power? One of the laws says “crush your enemy totally”

That’s what will happen if he makes a misstep.

Fubara won’t move to any political party. If he does any funny move. The impeachment process will begin again like it never stopped. He has been checkmated.

There’s plus size and there’s obese and morbidly obese. The options two and three are a no.

Well hopefully she’ll remember this blocking and remember to clean up in the future.

Everyday riot act. Mr Gov you have to make sure there’s enough security provided to ensure that those who come out don’t be victims of their own doing.

In all these permutations, the will of people aren’t been sought.

None of them.

Seun Seun Seun

Probably it’s the hormones.

dynicks:
I'm just trying to picture how it would have been if fubara were to be ELRUFAI or even seriake Dickson.......By now, dem for don uproot all alleged cornered properties owned by Wike.....Infact , Wike would have been humbled...!

The only reason Wike won this fight is because the president descended into the arena. If Buhari had wanted he would have stopped the coup against ambode. If Jonathan didn’t look the other way, Wike wouldn’t have defeated Amaechi.

It was an unfair battle, again maybe fubara was too quick to fight, he may have been better off fighting after winning re election

World Cup with no illegals. President Trump you be man 😂

It depends on the niche your content is about. There’s a lady I dey admire from a distance, her content is a sustainable development goals. Strictly that.

Northsouth:
not everyone will choose to believe this your irrational and irrelevant idea.
You don't even know anything about diamonds neither do you know extra second hand value of big celebrity Jewels when it's auction time
You're here saying what you don't even know or understand

Go and bring me one celebrity jewels that were diamonds that’s has sold exceptionally higher than the price it was bought.

Go and do your research diamond doesn’t hold value. Only Gold does. Stop yapping about what you know absolutely nothing about 😂

Those who know a thing or two about diamonds know that the moment he steps out of the door the chain loses 40-50 percent of its value

AfeezShomorin:
Yeye man wey no fit control him wife

Is there any adult you can control ? Man or woman, hmmm.