₦airaland Forum

Come to think of it, all these hyphenated names really makes no sense, cos they are just short-lived.

Pharoh:
^^ Guy i did not stitch her face on time but you know the Bible says . . . . 

All these while that we have been dating, haven't you realized that i am a very proud african man  . I will not settle for less when it comes to my tradition and ego  culture

You see i have a very big farm  , infact i have the largest farm in nairaland. I am very hardworking and rich. I will take care of you very well and provide for all your needs so what else do you want?. 

Just answer my name because i am not ready to accommodate another ikemba in my house 

I wonder what else she wants. Lol!

michelin89:
Even in marriage, it's up to the couple to decide.

Your primary responsibility is your primary responsibility. Be it delegated to a housemaid, your husband or whoever; as a married woman you MUST know it's your primary responsibility. You must know this.

michelin89:
It's not your perogative to choose any primary responsibilities for anyone.

If you're a married woman (with kids) and your primary responsibility is not the upbringing of your children, then you've failed!!!

michelin89:
Find something better to do.

If each one of us can invest some of our time in addressing even the least of societal ills, then we'll be making the world a better place for generations yet unborn. Think about this.

londoner:
Lol, I just dont get some people's logic. You are busy trying to ensure your own fathers name lives on, but you want a hand in killing off the name of another man. Who told you your fathers name is more important than my own fathers name?

It's such tripe, they do all this because they have very fragile egos, how many of them stop their own sisters who are themselves married and bear another mans name from meddling in their own family's affairs? How many woman who bear the husbands name are in the same breath and by that same "tradition" disenfranchised or dis inherited along with the children of the marraige whenever it suits the husband or those who are related to the husband by blood, even those who no longer share the last name?

African men, when will you stop changing the goal posts to suit whatever situation you find yourselves in?

Many Nigerian men, respect their own bloodline above anyone who bears their name through marriage, lets be honest. They want you to bear their name because of the bible (which by the way makes no mention of taking the name), but have no intention of leaving father and mother and cleaving to the wife, which the bible clearly states in black and white, for that though they come up with all kind of "modern day" excuses.

The bible puts the onus on leaving your own parents in order to marry  on YOU.

Your mum wasn't wrong bearing her husband's name, was she? What makes you thing you know better?

michelin89:
@ lovemoi

You must really laugh harder. So is that what being a woman is all about? Marriage and children?

Pls tell me more. No one is saying that a woman must be confined to the home and child upbringing, moreover, it's a joint responsibility between husband and wife. But you just can't neglect a primary responsibility. Try to get your priorities right!

FKseun:
lesbians and gays! That's why the world is going crazy!

It's so unfortunate! May God save us.

I salute the heroes and villains of this thread. Let the truth be said, let's help stem this ugly tide and restore some sanity to our world.

Young ladies, try to get married (if you can). Pray for a good husband who'll love and take care of you, and you'll get one. Get wedded and live with him and possibly bear him children (if you both desire). Respect and submit to your husband in everything (including bearing his name), he's what you've got. Build a family and leave your father's alone. And when you have kids, devote a good chunk of your time in their upbringing. Teach them to know what is right and wrong. And when they grow up, they'll honor and care for you as long as you live. A woman get's fulfillment in being a woman.

Example: Paul Obi marries Rose Bello. The couple should be addressed as:

a. Mr Paul Obi and Mrs Rose Bello-Obi
b. Mr Paul Obi and Mrs Rose Bello
c. Mr and Mrs (Paul Obi and Rose Bello)
d. Mr and Mrs Paul Obi

If the two have become one, then why the division? The world will never know peace until divine wisdom prevails.

Outstrip:
You see how you dey fool yaself. Condoleeza was never married, merkel does not even bare her current husbands name. Her first marriage ended in divorce and the man that she is married to now is not tearing his pant because his wife is not only not carrying his name but another man's name. How about that? You need to stop acting like an uneducated person. This is the second post I am reading that you started hoping to demean women but you just come off as very immature and childish. I guess the one that blew my mind was Hillary RODHAM Clinton. The whole world knows this. Rodham na her papa name not Bill Clinton's nickname. Please stop embarassing yourself. Mscheeeeeew

I will never demean women, nor suggest a male is superior to a female. I only fear for the 'harm' women will cause themselves if this trend continues with generations to come. Why be so short-sighted where much implications lies ahead. Too much independence will do womanhood no good. Think about this.

Pharoh:
No one is eliminating manhood  don't go that far.

Do you really believe what was written in those two articles? Are you a christian?

Thanks Pharoh, I think you're one of the very few sane guys left. I don't know what men of our generation are becoming. Liberals they call it, but they're gradually selling off generations of manhood for a pot of porridge offered by their female friends. Our forefather never did, that's why they lived happier and more fulfilled lives in a more stable world. The truth just has to be told and I fear where this is leading!!!

It's amazing how much women want to be independent and really do without their husbands. Why then bother about marriage? Isn't it an old tradition?

And for the men, I need male responses only. If you have no problems with women bearing their father's names, what if it's your own wife? There is a clear distinction between marriage and friendship, especially in the African context. Most of you (guys) who have no problem with it are not yet married. I bet you'll have a second opinion when you are.

stillwater:
I know your type. The type that use the bible to soothe your ingrained evil ways. You better change.

I wonder what the world has turned into. No guidance, no values, They even have no reverence for the Bible.

chidexy:
The ladies have earned certificates, recognitions etc before getting married. For ease of identification, they hyphenate their maiden names - no qualms about that and shouldn't concern or threaten anybody

@poster, Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, has a partner, but doesn't bear his name. Merkel is her father's name

In 1977, the former Angela Kasner married physics student Ulrich Merkel. The marriage ended in divorce in 1982.

agathamari:
there is a theory that the Y chromosone is shrinking. i know the following quotes dont really help you but i think they are cute
"Some geneticists think the Y chromosome is now little more than a genetic wasteland that will eventually just disappear. If that were to happen, it would certainly spell the end of sexual reproduction."
" Scientists theorize that the X and Y chromosome started out with about the same amount of genes -- about 1,000. Today, the Y chromosome has less than 80 genes."
"Although most men are unaware of the peril, the Y chromosome has been shedding genes furiously over the course of evolutionary time, and it is now a fraction of the size of its partner, the X chromosome, The decay of the Y stems from the fact that it is forbidden to enjoy the principal advantage of sex, which is, of course, for each member of a pair of chromosomes to swap matching pieces of DNA with its partner."
"From sperm count to social status and from fertilisation to death, as civilisation advances, those who bear Y chromosomes are in relative decline."

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/07/09/1057430271984.html
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/s_634064.html

I guess that confirms it. Is this another theory, tool or explanation for the planned elimination of manhood?

For more clarification, 'self-fertilization' is an off-shot of 'artificial insemination'

nuzo:
Now, they are not only comparing their slaves Nigerian women to their American counterpart who are allowed to make their own decisions, they have decided to refer us to laws from the supposedly holy books that were written thousand of years ago to back up their chauvinist attitude.

If you refer to the Holy Bible as 'the supposedly holy books that were written thousand of years ago', then you're an IDIOT!!!

AccoPen:
What language are you speaking? I don't understand a thing.

It's either you don't understand English or you've been seduced and hypnotized. Or are you a member of the band of 'blind' men? You sound like one.

I guessed as much. They'll either say nothing or try to deviate, while the desire is still deep-seated. They'll also spice it up with some subtle seduction and the men will forget what they're talking about. That's the weapon that have sent so many brave men to their early graves. Cold-blooded right? God help us!!!

There's this trend that's going on and I don't like it. Women are trying to eliminate manhood! They say: what a man can do, a woman can do better. They have taken over families, women now marry men etc, The only feat they are yet to achieve is how to impregnate their fellow women. I hear some extremist feminists are imploring science to explore 'self-fertilization' or better still, they can implore the baboons, or other mammals to re-produce. And their quest is even aided by a growing band of 'blind' men, in the guise of woman eMANcipation.

In the end, they will find a reason to eliminate men from the surface of the earth, God forbid! It all started with Eve who preferred to listen to a serpent, rather than her husband, which brought us all to this sorry state. WOMEN, what have MEN done

hbabe:
I am a christian and further down in your quotation it says,'husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church'.
How many men are doing that?  How many men are even CAPABLE of doing that?
This is not religion section I could have argued this out with you.
But remember that Christ loves the church even when she is not perfect.

Lets stop this digression and return to the topic, OP.
I will not pick up any funny sounding and unprounceable names and drop my Dad's sweet sounding and beautiful name.   I also do not like compound names.

Good for you. At least you now know wives should submit to their husbands.

By the way, why should a good husband not love his own wife? And why should a good wife not respect and submit to her husband by bearing his name? If you do otherwise, you're abnormal. Simple.

hbabe:
Submission Dictionary meaning: The act of accepting that somebody has defeated you and that you must obey them.
When there is love there is no need for submission. I will love whoever I marry and try to reach the best decisions with him but agreeing sheepishly to all his decisions is not for me.  I have a brain that I like to use too.
As for names it depends on what my husband's name sounds like, it it is something funny and  unpronounceable I will stick with my fathers.  I am not into compound names but it is not a big deal.

If you are a Christian, turn to Ephesians 5:22 (KJV): "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord'' Don't try divine wisdom with human understanding.

lovemoi2:
when you marry your village wife she will bear your name and submit to you

backward minded 

Bearing your husband's name or any other name for that matter is not synonymous with submission, loyalty, fidelity or any of these. It's a sign of submission and respect for your husband!!!

It's a pity you think bearing your husband's name is backward minded. By the way, are you married? If you are not and maybe you're nursing the idea of bearing your father's name alongside your husband's, good luck! Maybe you can consider bearing your father's name alone. Why add you husband's name? I guess that's more FORWARD!!! Nonsense.

zugoboss:
@Op,Condoleeza Rice has never married,Rice is her father's name.The trend is more common in the west than here in Nigeria.

True, pardon the mention of 'Condoleezza Rice'. Moreover, I was not talking about unmarried ladies/women. There are a million and one of them, respected and highly placed women who still have the dignity in bearing their husband's name. Who told you the trend is more common in the west? Don't be deceived.

[quote author=T-charged link=topic=352545.msg4934831#msg4934831 date=1258366330]I am happy you state its 'a sign of submission'. Real submission has nothing to do with names. People have moved on since the time of Adam and Eve, please let the ladies be.[/quote]I can assure you, those that have MOVED ON don't do that!!! By the way, where have we (Nigeria) moved to

A woman has to bear her husband's name as a sign of submission in marriage. Simple.

What's this with Nigerian women in high places especially from the south-east that they decide to bear their father's name alongside their husband's: Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Ndi Okereke-Onyiuke etc,  What for It's simply unnecessary!!!

We have the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel; US Secretary of State (past and present): Condoleezza Rice and Hilary Clinton, to mention a few. They are still who they are bearing their husbands name,  I'm sick of all this!!! Someone please help!

And at long last, !!!

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you" Matt 7:7 (NKJV)

Happy 49th Independence Anniversary!

deji2009:
no picture, nothing. good luck by the way

I never said I want to 'advertise' myself or stuff, I only need a compatible life partner.

touchmeder:
u are too picky!

A man just has his choice.

Gabry:
ROTFLMAO!!!













ehMMMM, . .

I don't understand

bigmodo:
your area is anywhere you see a girl you like. you know what to do.

'anywhere' except 'online', right?