[quote
author=Efemena_xy]

That is a really callous and insensitive thing to say!

For goodness sake! The woman lost her husband of lord knows how many
years, just a few months ago and is still grieving! Yet, you're
indirectly pointing the finger at her and blaming her for his cause of
death? Have a heart please.

@OP: What your mother is going through at the moment is the loss
of her life partner. Death is never a welcome thing to experience,
moreso if it happens sudden and unexpectedly. Your mother is feeling the
unfairness of it all, and unfortunately, that is life.

Let her grieve. Encourage her to let it all out. This happened a few
months ago so it's still early days. It's better for her psychologically
to express her grief the best way she knows than to bottle it all up.
Storing pent up feelings never does anyone any good. Sometimes, these
things take years.

You know the saying, time is a healer of all wounds. Give your mother
the time she needs. It won't cure or heal the past, but it will lessen
the pain she feels right now. Different people have different timescales
for coming to terms and getting over the loss of a loved one. I was
once at a burial for a relative. What the priest said during the wake
keeping was a comfort to many of us: Death is like
sleep in so many ways. Some of us go to bed early, and some of us go to
bed late. But at the end of the day, we all go to bed.
Maybe, if you communicate this to her, it might help.

In the meantime, rather than let her focus entirely on her sorrows, you
might want to help distract her. Is it possible for extended family
members to come live with your mum for some time? Maybe for a few weeks /
months? Also, like someone mentioned, find out what sort of activities
interest her and get her involved. Even simple things like joining the
women's union / group in her church may provide her with solace and
emotional comfort.

Finally, keep on being the loving son you are to her. There would be
days when she's really low. Provide her with that comforting shoulder to
lean on. Re: your younger siblings, a lot depends on their ages...but
you can encourage the older ones to look after the youngest ones. Also
get them involved in activites...delegate chores to them to do to keep
them busy. Be the leader. Your dad is no longer there, so you need to
step into his shoes and be the man of your home.

Remain blessed and best of luck. [/quote] Thanks so much ma'am i am actually female, and a couple of relatives stayed with us for a couple of months but have left anyway thanks again

Good day all,,,i am a 18 year old student from a family of 7 and i am the first born of the family.A couple of months ago i lost my dad and well thats where a lot of my problems started.My dad was the everything of the family though my mum is working so problem isnt financial itz really hard on me,,,my mum is always crying and doesnt want to go to work, i have tried everything but she keeps on crying all day long,,,ive tried telling her that dad would want her to stop crying but shes always feeling sorry for herself,,,to make matters worse my younger ones are rebelling taking advantage of the situation,,,and family on both my parents side are no help.I am at home now cos of the strike but i fear for my mums health when the strike is called off..pls what do i do ?? How do i make my mum see that what happened was simply fate and nothing can be done about it and also get my younger ones in order ?? Pls help

Thanks everyone i have seen everything you said and i must say thanks again. I was just so disillusioned so i came here, because i dont have a lot of friends anyway thanks again the encouragement has been helpful God bless you all .

Thanks i actually have one carry-over course

Good day all ! I am a 100 level economics student in one of the universities in Nigeria After studing so hard for my first semester examinations and believing i passed i was so suprised to get a 1.96 gpa
pls i want some advice to get it back up because i have always wanted to get a first class is that even still possible for me ?Thanks in anticipation

190:

theres notin 190 can do now

shes sucked the prick and taken in all the c[i]u[/i]m

jeez dude u ar making the poor guy anxious na op ask her watz up wit d cryptic messages tel her u ar nt a magician