₦airaland Forum

Thank you so much guys for your comments.

I want to add that i'm not desperate, not at all. I think the mistake that i made or that we both made is not talking enough about the differences in our cultures. I guess since we both are here in the U.S we assumed that in part we could forget about the values and principles that we enquired while growing up in our contries. The good news is that i texted him last night and apologize, still waiting for him to call me though ugh.

ayde:
You are not being desperate, you just want your relationship to be formal and open.

This is exactly what i want for my relationship to be formal and open. You have to understand i'm not talking about marriage here (it's been 3 months only and i won't get married until i'm done with school). Yes i do love him but i'm not in love with him,not yet. So i'm not rushing anything.

I have to admit that my parents , specially my mom, aren't thrilled with me dating him. They have nothing personally against him beside that is an african. You know the famous stereotype about african men in general, that they are all polygamous. Therefore i had to explain to them that he's not and that mostly muslims are polygamous and that he's a christian.

So you guys are telling me that he was telling the truth!!!!! I hope i did not scare him away since he hasn't call me at all today, he's the kind of guy that will always try to make me smile when i'm mad.

ziddy:
Insist on him meeting ur mom at least, if he's got nothin 2 hide.

Now thinking about it, last night while arguing with him he did tell me that next time he'll come to pick me up to let him know if my parents are there so he could meet them.

@ funkybaby

funkybaby:
thats explains it all

I don't understand. You think he didn't say anything to them because i'm not nigerian. That's ridiculous, i mean he knew from the beginning that i wasn't so why would he courtship me then?
I'm thinking he might be a mama's boy, when talking about them mostly he said "my mom" not my parents you know. The guy is a grown man, matter of fact he's 11 years older than me.

@ Nautillus
He's nigerian, and i'm not american i'm from the caribbean.

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months now. His parents and siblings are in Nigeria, he said he does have family members here in the U.S but they live in different states , so basically i've never met anyone of them. On the other hand i live with my family, from the beginning of the relationship (2weeks) i told him that i expect him to meet my parents that there is no catch whatsoever it's just smthing really important to them and they always insist to know who their daughters are involved with. I ask him to think about it (u know didn't want to push him too much) and he replied that there's nothing to think about that he'll meet them.

Well it's been 3 months now and he never did. He only met my sis.First mostly when he comes to pick me up my parents aren't there so i don't make a big deal out of it but there was this time my father was home and i expected him to meet my dad, that day he refused because he was coming from the gym and he said that he wasn't dressed properly to do so. After that incident, my best friend told me to give him a break and that maybe he's just not ready yet, so I never ask him again.

Now his parents are here in the states and they'll stay with him for a month. Last night I went to see him at his house and his parents were sleeping already ( was late 10:30pm) so i didn't meet them. Stayed there for about an hour and while he was driving me back home i found out that he hasn't told them anything about me, basically i don't exist. Of course I got enraged and really mad,asked him why and he replied that he cannot just go to them and tell them that he has a girlfriend unless they ask him and that's a cultural thing.Of course i didn't believe and told him he's lying to me and there's no such thing, that he's using his culture as an excuse since i dont know anything about it because i'm from the carribean. I haven't talk to him since and do not want to right now 'cause i'm mad.

I don't know what to do. I love him ( even though i haven't tell him yet) and am not happy right now. I know any body reading this post will tell me to break up with him, but am not ready for it. I'm thinking of giving him an ultimatum that he introduces me to his parents or i'll leave. Or should i give him more time ?