Please how much do you rent canopies with sitting capacity of 60 chairs and 5 round banquet tables?

Acidosis:


Are you getting married to a stranger? What's your fiancée's opinion about this?

She said that’s what they told her to tell me. She doesn’t have a clue either.

Please my Igbo brothers and sisters,

Help me answer this.

I went with my friend to collect list from my prospective in-laws last weekend..

I am fine with the list though heavily loaded already, but now the family are saying that that’s not all, that I will also bring wine and money in envelope for all her brothers, they are seven in number, same for all her paternal uncles and wrappers for her paternal aunts, they called it something in Igbo “to marry for someone”.

Please is this supposed to be so? I am not very knowledgeable about the culture, help me here pls. What custom is this? I don’t understand why I have to marry for anyone else or buy wine for every sibling, uncle and aunt.

The Diokpara’s own is already stated in the list so why asking to do another one for the same diokpara again including the siblings and uncles and aunts.

.

Chiiamaka:


OP she wait till after marriage to do her passport cause if she does now in her maiden name it would be null & void.. You guys would have to do change of name & get a new passport with her your last name.. This I am sure of .

Ah okay then. Thanks a lot.

livinbygrace:
So her father was alive all this while and we never heard about him until his death.Only her mother was being celebrated and this is the main reason why I always advise every man to enjoy and have fun while still alive.
The woman takes all the rewards while father”s reward is in heaven.

The truth of the matter is that you should marry a woman whose family celebrates her father. Women with daddy issues are a big risk. Women who grew up with single mothers while their father’s were still alive elsewhere or whose fathers are not celebrated for failure to make money turn out most times to also sideline you from your kids lives. Yes girls with daddy issues f**k best. But please don’t fall for the good sex, cos when the kids come, the love is gone. A girl who respects her father a lot will respect you in marriage.

Originalsly:


Hmmm... changes the picture! ... over to the experienced and experts!

Thanks for sharing the much you did

Originalsly:
First things first.... it's only a few months left in this year. You have international passport ... do you have visa? ... flight booked?...are you going as a Permanent Resident? ... when exactly are you travelling?.... to get settled and get her with you by year end?
I think it's better to leave her passport as is ... leave name change for after marriage.

She has not gotten first passport before. As for me my relocation is not in question. It’s not my first time of moving to the country. I have everything I need. I’m concerned about hers cos I don’t know anything about marital name change and how that affects documents as I have never had anyone do it before.

Lagbaja88:
Evidence of marriage is the certificate not name change. Name change is not compulsory to travel or process visa. But changing name abroad is cumbersome and expensive even in Nigeria. Why not pay for cad express service after marriage for the passport

So if she gets a visa in her maiden name, this can’t be changed easily? We will be changing her legal surname to mine immediately after the wedding. Is it possible for her visa to be awarded in her maiden name even though she has already changed her name legally at the time of marriage? Can her visa name be different from the name in the passport? If her passport has a different name from the visa, which one does she use in booking the flight?

Me and my Fiancée plan to Japa out of Nigeria.

Situation:

1. I have an international passport
2. My Fiancée is yet to do hers.
3. We are yet to get married but plan to do so in a couple of months after I am settled abroad (before this year runs out hopefully).
4. I will travel before her and before the wedding cos she needs to get spousal visa first for her to join me.

Issues:


1. Due to how long it takes to process a passport in Nigeria we are thinking of getting her a passport in her maiden name. But I hear changing the last name on the passport later after she gets married is cumbersome.

2. If we obtain the maiden name passport now and decide to leave it that way when I move over and apply for her visa to come over, would we be able to apply for the visa with her maiden name? Would applying for spouse visa with her maiden name not affect the visa application? If it doesn’t, would she need to buy a flight ticket in her maiden name too?

3. If we choose to wait till we get married to apply for her passport with my surname. I would already be abroad, and I’m not sure we can go about the name change and passport application process as quickly as possible (I would be too busy to travel back to Nigeria until wedding eve, then return abroad the next day after wedding to apply for her spouse visa). Even if she does all of the name change processes and eventually applies for the passport herself afterwards, I am worried the passport application might take ages and we need it to process her visa. Also, if all her documents still bear her maiden name, would there be any complications during the visa process? Would her marriage certificate alone be sufficient to determine her change of surname on the documents?

Is waiting for the surname change to get a fresh passport worth the wait? Or should we apply now and get her a passport in her maiden name?

I honestly thought I would find more mature comments in the family section.

This is no joke. Please I can’t afford to invite the people I know and then have a drunk guest fighting the servers over food. If I relocate to a new city (which I intend to do after the wedding), we’ll know nobody there. So I might as well hire people who are sane and able to make my day memorable, than invite people who would not spray money but won’t keep quiet either, they will crash my wedding with their low life behaviour. At least the hired sprayers can plan to have their money returned to them after spraying cos I don’t need their money. I can’t invite uncles cos those ones are practically greedy drunks waiting on my dad to go to his ancestors so they can plunder what’s left.

Is it possible to hire guests for a wedding in Nigeria? I’m just curious. So please don’t attack me.
I have always dreamed of having a wedding that I would be proud of. AKA posh wedding. Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of friends or know many big people and the few people I even know at all are not really posh looking (this is not an insult); what I mean is, you know, these broke guys kind of friends that you have to pay their transport back when they even manage to visit you.

So I have this question: is it possible to hire posh grooms men and a couple of posh guests (including white men and women and money sprayers to act as friends) to pose at a wedding in Nigeria?
I have read it is possible in the USA or other countries. Has anyone come across this in Nigeria?

Incogni2o, drmikeadams and dederocs
Is this normal practice in Nigeria? I heard it’s common in USA and some parts of Asia. Where do people like me find the service?

Stormtrooper11:

Lol. I understand your plight. Everyone get stuck with disloyal people at a point in one's life. I do suggest you should have a private wedding. You are not getting married to impress anyone. Get few reliable and loyal friends/relatives. In our Nigerian context, you could throw a posh wedding and later have problems in your marriage cos your relatives will think you are so rich and they will always disturb you. They might even go diabolical. Bro, make quality friends. You will need quality people in your life. People that will render help when you feel your situation is helpless. Just think about it

I agree I have made wrong choices in people I allowed to be friends without thinking how this would affect my future but making friends with the right kind as an adult is pretty hard. I have accepted i’ll have to eventually seek help on this one cos all it takes is for one of the grooms men to get drunk or for a few people to start shouting at the people sharing food and they’ll crash my wedding, thats why I am trying to find out if I can buy the day. I can make better friends in the years that follow. I already plan to relocate after getting married. If I relocate before the marriage, I wouldn’t know any one in the new city so the same problem still brings me to the topic.

lilvicky68:

So white people and money sprayers will make it successful?? Does it even matter..

Did you read where I said my current friends would disgrace me? I just need the wedding to look good without inviting any of the folks I know.

Stormtrooper11:
Lol. Me that is planning to have few people at my wedding. What do you need alotta people for?

Number is not really the problem. It’s the quality of people. With my current friends and hungry people I know, they will disgrace me at the wedding. They will fight for rice and even drinks and I don’t want that. I don’t even know a single person who can spray money on me on my day. My uncles are just drunks who are waiting for my dad to die so they can drag inheritance. I would rather want the guests to be people that will make my day fun and successful. A few white people here and there and money sprayers would be a dream come true. I don’t even need the money sprayers money, they can just spray and have someone pick every piece of the money they sprayed and returned to them.

Is it possible to hire guests for a wedding in Nigeria? I’m just curious. So please don’t attack me.
I have always dreamed of having a wedding that I would be proud of. AKA posh wedding. Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of friends or know many big people and the few people I even know at all are not really posh looking (this is not an insult); what I mean is, you know, these broke guys kind of friends that you have to pay their transport back when they even manage to visit you.

So I have this question: is it possible to hire posh grooms men and a couple of posh guests (including white men and women and money sprayers to act as friends) to pose at a wedding in Nigeria?
I have read it is possible in the USA or other countries. Has anyone come across this in Nigeria?

Chuknovski:
Parental blessing is Paramount, please don't disrespect them it may be grievous, remember they are your Gateway to the world, they are your guardian angels, Gods voice to you

If my parents had listened to their own parents. I won't be here today.

Wayne4uall:

I guess she is an igbo and u been a yoruba

No, we are same tribe. check my previous topic for the reason.

CapitalHYC:
This one is looking for comments.. You created a new account coz of your boyfriend and you still have your Pic on your profile?? Are a joke??

I think it's a decoy photo.

THUNDER4real:
Do court, give her belle, present her to your parents.....They will accept her for the sake of their grandchild...

This was how my parents got married. Their own parents didnt support them. So they did this to seal the deal. I don't want to make the same mistake they made. I will marry my wife with or without their consent. I won't go against my faith to convince anyone.

Wayne4uall:
Bro.. I know hw it feels but I won't advise u to marry out of ur parents wish..... U have to sit dem down and plead with dem.. Make dem see reasons why u want to marry your lover.. U can also talk to ur relatives about it so that they can help u to talk to your parents..

They have no issues with my woman. The problem is their unrealistic expectations for the family she comes from.

-

.

emmyeuler1:
After 5yrs of dating,companionship and serious affection,my girlfriend finally dumped me for a banker.We are both undergraduates of the Obafemi Awolowo University,Ile-Ife and about entering final year.I just discovered a change in attitude on her part.She finally opened up that she was no longer interested and started dating a banker who works at the Access bank located inside the OAU campus.Please should I go spiritual by making her pay for it or ignore it?...I need ur advice

My brother please listen to my advice.

Leave that girl alone, and stay away from relationships for some time, use that time to build your self mentally, financially, physically and emotionally. By the time you are ready to settle down, she would be too old for you or already married to the banker. Your future wife is still reading A,B,C,D or playing skipping ropes with her friends.

Don't go spiritual on another man's wife so no one would go spiritual on yours.


Have a nice day.

SavageResponse:


You can't completely ignore the rumors you have heard about their religious practices

True, it got this bad because before I informed my people, I had confronted her about the rumours earlier in the relationship, she didn't seem to know much about the practices as she said she rarely engages them or knows what they are about. But she assured me she wasn't involved in those things and neither does her family. So when I eventually told my family, and they raised the issue, they believed me when i said they dont practise those. However, after i had left, they came back with their fears about the rumours cos it seemed I was the only one with the impression that they aren't true and everyone else does. It's a bad spot to be in cos I had relied on what my lady told me earlier, but now even she doesn't know the practices well enough to say if they do such in her denomination or not. She just hasn't personally experienced any of those things herself.

GboyegaD:


I understand you and the point your parents raised as a concern. You know your fiancee better to make them see her as different from what her family/cultural traditions project. You need your conviction most importantly at this time as that is the only way to explain without shoving it down their throats. While at that, you also want to be as convincing as you should be to pass the message across that you have chosen her as the person you want to be with.
In it all, don't fight, don't make a fuss, and be true to yourself about what you want. Remember, the pains or glory from your decisions are yours to bear and the best others can is to show emotional concerns.

Thanks for your kind words. I had convinced them when I visited and they accepted initially. The issue got out of hand when someone else they discussed with about it made a fuss of the evil practices people from her parents denomination are capable of. It opened a can of worms in my absence. I live very far away from them and visiting them is not an option for either of us presently. I was quiet when I was told of their stand on this issue over the phone. But i intend to have a proper discussion with them after I have gathered my facts. Thanks again.

GboyegaD:


Oga, you can just read my suggestion and move on. If you read your response, you will realize there is some manning up to do. You need their blessings, what an adult sees sitting down, etc have robbed so many of a lifetime joy. They have raised you and if they cannot trust your decision in this regard, then I am not only scared for you, I am scared for your wife as well. The sole decision on whom to marry lies only in the hands of the spouses. Others are just passersby in your story. No one ask them what happened and most importantly, the society focuses more on you as the head of the home. I have said my beat, follow your instincts.

I understand what you are driving at, and thanks for caring, but look at it this way for a moment: What harm would it cause if we all just get along. As much as I am within my capacity to make my own decisions, I do not have to fight with my family to prove myself a man like you put it. The points my parents raised are what any parent as dedicated as mine are would have done. I'm only soliciting advice from well meaning people on how to make this easier for everyone involved.

Originalsly:
Your parents .... their parents' religion... does it have 'questionable roots'? So how did your parents marry but you can't?... to someone that is of the same faith as you? As your parents are that religious... feed them with Bible. Even if her parents are Red Garment.... she is not... is of the same faith. So ask them if you marry her if you would be unequally yoked. Maybe you need to remind them that it is the girl you are marrying... not ber parents.
If her parents were into ehmmm.... spiritual warfare.... their daughter would never become a member of your church. Personally... your parents do not like the girl for other reasons.... this is just a lame excuse. I guess because they are poor. He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing... stuff them.

He whose parents findeth him a wife receiveth misery.

My brother, i'm not sure whatelse could have led to their conviction as they had confirmed from their own prayers that nothing was wrong with the young lady even though they haven't met her. it got bad to the point they say they wont show up if i went ahead with my plans. I know my parents are very religious and I am too, but I had expected them to see a potential for a possible conversion than to feign being scared to eat or drink at their potential in-laws abode for fear of what it may contain from their religious practices. I just need to find a way to convince them because their blessings are important to me.

Olunmercy56:


Thanks so much, you said it all, pizza and a Martina for you sir. I just pity the lady, she will see shege for her in-laws rules. Maybe his parents is still feeding him

Thanks

yvelchstores:
sorry for all you are going through. I don't think it's fair on your part. Your husband is making babies through you, why do i say this? Because you already have a son and a daughter. This would not have been an issue if he accepted them as you both agreed! Now your son is about to be homeless! You were deceived by that man because I know no mother will accept this current situation. Since you foot70% of the bills, you would have been better off with your son and daughter alone. You chose marriage cos you don't want to be alone, now your son is almost homeless. You are bearing even more children for him, my own is this, PUT A CLOSE EYE ON YOUR DAUGHTER SO HE DOESNT EVER MOLEST HER. If her elder brother was in same house, she would have been protected. Madam, do something!

Apart from what you put in CAPS, I think the husband is just scared for his 2 year old daughter and unborn baby. Most men I know don't marry single mothers who have boys. Girls can be managed as they marry off to another family at some point. A problem boy is a huge problem on any family for life. There are severe consequences later on of keeping them at home especially if you later have your own kids as a man, the man won't be home 24/7 to monitor how the boy gets on with his kids, there are issues of older male kids especially compromised ones like ops son, sexually molesting their younger half sisters even half brothers, also teaching the young boys to become thieves or wayward is a potential risk. Not to mention the potential for the boy to grow up and start competing for his step dad's property with his biological kids, or even his real father showing up later on if the boy grows to be successful and the step dad loses everything.

The issues are too many to deal with.