₦airaland Forum

Outstrip: Yes they are all irresponsible. That is why when he died every cynthia, helen, and henrientta was coming out of the wood works saying that their child belonged to him. So it is not irresponsible because he had money. How does that benefit the many kids he had spread around that grew up without a father figure in the home. I laugh when Nigerians try to condemn other black people who have 7 baby mamas meanwhile it is even worse in Nigeria where it is considered okay because the man has money. Puff daddy nigerian style. Nothing relative. It is slefish and irresponsible. Control your damned peni5

Which women came out of the wood works? All the women that had children for him were known. He properly married more than 95% of them - traditionally. He didn't have no child that was a vagrant. Gave all of them fantastic education. Sorted out the mums correctly. He was a father to all his children. How dare you equate him to Puff Daddy? I am offended by that comparison. Those ones don't marry, they just impregnate women. There is a difference.

Father figure my foot. So all the children that have their fathers around 100% turn out all good and the reverse is the case for the ones that dont? Crappy logic. Guess what? Stay unmarried if you feel this strongly. Infact, become a Catholic Nun.

michelin89: You are right. In a culture where human feelings are not considered, and when I say human I mean women (they are human, while men are gods), a man who practises polygamy and adultery is not at all irresponsible.

Emigrate to the western world (if you are not already there); marry there, divorce your husband if he smiles at another woman (which happens). Generally do anything that takes your fancy. Or better still, don't marry at all. Problem solved. Spare me the whine about human feelings

ronkebp: You are right BOBAJO, no two people can be exactly alike, just pointing out that there are still men out there, who are responsible and will take the feelings of their wives into consideration, and that is real love and respect. I think if you truly "love" someone you will not do anything to hurt them, irrespective of whatever stress or duress the person is under, whether from family, friends or society at large.

So the fact of a man impregnating another girl make him irresponsible? I dont understand that kind of logic. MKO is irresponsible? Alhaji Bakare of the Ojomu Chieftaincy Family is irresponsible? I can mention several, and all of the ones i know provided for their families excellently (including even extended family). Underline the word excellently please.

I had a girlfriend while i was in the University, a beautiful half fulani girl who told me, with all seriousness, that her life's ambition later in life is to be the first of 4 wives, and boss all the junior wives around. The thought of her being an only wife has never even occurred to her based on her upbringing.

It is all relative madam. 'Bi a ti nse nibi, eewo ibo mi'. And impregnating somebody else can never ever be equated to being irresponsible.

ronkebp: i feel your post.....i also have an uncle who has been married for 14 years, and had twins just last year....2 handsome boys....who did not go around testing his sperm on every young girl. i have another aunt, this is my mother's younger sister, been married for 10 years now still no issue, has fibroid problem and the hubby still adores his wife till tomorrow, and he has not gone out to impregnate another girl outside. Both are still holding on to the faith that they will be parents to their children someday.

I am sincerely happy for your Uncle who had twins after 14 years. I pray for your Aunt who has been married for 10 years that God will answer her quickly. I applaud the spouses in both cases. But this is the problem; you are assuming that every man will be like your uncle, or your aunty's husband? That my dear is unrealistic and unachievable. Without barrenness of any sort in any wife, my grandfather had 56 children from 26 women, and honestly, i still have not met any of his direct male children (the ones i know) who has children from only one woman. Cultures differ madam. People have totally different standards. Some of the things you consider abnormal 'ti di baraku fun awon enikan'.

Unassuming: Now, I can't advice OP. But if I were to b d victim what would I do?

I, homerac7, would call for dissolution of d marriage. We settle, part company and let everybody go and live his/her life. The damage done here is very terrible and d wound so deep that it will always be an open sore till the aggrieved dies. So why live in d shame and pain just because ur family wants it so? I hav right to my life and living it joyfully. Also is my inalienable right to find for myself peace, security and sanity. Under d present situation, none of these can be guaranteed, so I'm not bound by any reason, logic, sentiment or tradition to "endure", "compromise", "understand", "exercise patience", "leave it to god/God", or whatsoever. The marriage contract has simply changed to my great disfavour and I have to react to d present reality which is terminate it and limit damages.

Every life is sacred and entitled to freedom, dignity and honour. If any of these is absent, no law, be it above or below, prevents the victim to discard whichever arrangement has placed such yoke, neither is any measure taken to make correction excessive.

This is what I, homerac7, would do.


I agree absolutely with the homerac7- There's no basis whatsoever, to remain in this marriage. However, i regconise how difficult men like this pig of man would react if asked to negotiate a handsome financial settlement for you, seeing that all rules of engagement has been broken by his premediated actions. Never-the-less, you should leave that marriage. There's no way anyone can ever forgive a grieviuos injury of this kind if matters remains or progress as they are.

Draw on your reserve, move out of the marriage. who knows your real husband may still be out there. As for this man and many that would behave as he....may they never find peace nor happiness, either in this life or next!

I am a bit lost here unassuming and homerac. I plead with you both to answer the 2 questions below truthfully:

1. If you have a brother who has been married for 6 years without a child, what would you advise him?

2. Is it permissible in Nigeria (note the word permissible, not whether it is legal or right) to marry more than 1 wife?


My opinions:

1. I have a major issue with the husband having to settle for the wife's employee. It is utterly disrespectful. He should have cast the net further afield and in a worst case scenario go for somebody that's at least the wife equal in standing.

2. I do not agree that the poster should quit the marriage. Say wetin? After investing all that time and effort, then abandon it? The way the system works in Nigeria, she will lose out totally.

3. Poster should not allow the lady move into her house. Let the husband rent a house for her somewhere else. On this she should stand as firm as the rock of Gibraltar. She can accept the child into her house, but definitely not the employee/rival. The pain wont go away if she agrees for employee/rival to come in.

4. I sympathetise with the poster, but honestly, i have at least 3 friends who have been married for between 5 and 10 years without children. All 3 have at different times, talking confidentially to me of course, said they will try to impregnate some other women in the nearest future if the situation with their wife stays the same. Let me quote one 'I am 40, Bobajo. I am dying to have a child before time runs out totally. If any woman bring belle for me, i will accept totally o. I am trying to even impregnate somebody right now'. I do not say this is right, but the premium we place on children in this climes has brought on this sort of problems.


I wish the poster well. May God guide her to do the right things.

you have some very interesting looking properties. Hope to do business with you soon. Goodluck.

still available

Make me an offer!!!

pcicero:
Sanusi did not even make any attempt to condemn the actions of Boko Haram. Neither did he deny what was published by FT in his rejoinder. What does that tell us? That the man is part of the Northern elites who believe that they are superior to other components of Nigeria.
All hail Sanusi the Boko Haram spokesman! Try bring your Jihad to the South this time and face your peril. So, every state should take up arms to fight for more resources? It is now clear that the Northern elites are behind the senseless killings using Boko Haram as proxies.

Abeg, where is the rejoinder? I would love to read it in full.

I am missing something? Somebody should please explain to me how the fact of 'jubilation galore' and 'storming beer parlors' lends credence to Beaf's earlier assertions as to Sylva's character - and note my use of the word 'assertions'. Bode George was received as a hero after he left prison. Hundreds of supporters went with placards to support OGD when he was initially arraigned for frauds he committed while in office. BG has not become un-convicted and OGD is still facing his criminal charges.

Beaf:
Where is the buffoon called olaweb?

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2012/01/jubilation-in-yenagoa-as-security-operatives-sealed-up-government-house/

Knight1:
Why the hurry to swear in Kogi's Wada? Another round of court cases will start again.

He will be 'eating' the money in the meantime na, and settle all the 'gbese' wey the goddevilfathers don incur on the election campaign. Court matter fit reach anor 8 months. I tire for naija matter walahi

Kai @ bolded . Dude, your post just made my day.

sheyguy:
For those comparing Gej and Sylva, why not take a look at their achievements as governor of Bayelsa.
It is like zero saying he is greater than nothing.

where can we inspect chief?

where can we inspect please?

@dagbos, turn your laptop na, abi na table top u dey use

Can u post VIN or send same to bomowoleassociates@gmail.com.

Regards

1HGCM564X5A179868

Police Report ACCIDENT REPORTED (Case #:B0502011 00474A)
08/23/2011 NY

Motor Vehicle Dept. TITLE
SALVAGE
POSSIBLE TOTAL LOSS - VEHICLE TITLED/REGISTERED TO AN INSURANCE COMPANY

Oga Export, is it possible to know exactly what kind of accident this car had?

Regards

Oga, is this car still available? what's the VIN please? Where can i see it if i want to inspect? Thank you

Read and deal

Oga, Please help me check the VIN's below:

1HGCM564X5A179868
1HGCM56846A085280

Kind regards

I am looking to buy a car for the wifey, and got offered this really clean Toyota Corolla (the new body) at a very, very reasonable price. the only snag is that it is a manual transmission. A friend of mine suggested i could buy it and convert the transmission to automatic. My questions are:

1. Is it doable, and/or advisable?
2. Recommendations on who can properly do it?
3. Is it safe?
4. Will it have issues down the line?
5. How much it costs?

Please comment at will.

Hi, Can you please send the VIN to me (bomowoleassociates@gmail.com). Also advice when and where i can inspect. Anytime this week is good. Thanks

Is it still available? When and where can i inspect? Ready 2day, 2moro or anytime convenient for you. Please reply.

Carshopper:
will post vin.

Bobajo:
can u send me d VIN please?

Still waiting? The sellers arent responding to enquiries any longer or something? So how do you sell a car when you dont even bother to respond to potential customers? When i grow up, i sure want to be like you.

can u send me d VIN please?

will like to inspect . Where is the car located? Please send me ur phone number also so i can call when i am coming

Bobajo:
is this car still available? Can you send the VIN to me? Will you do N1,350,000? Please reply to bomowoleassociates@gmail.com.

Regards

Oga, do u really want to sell this car? Pls see my post above. You didn't even dignify it with a reply. Na wa o.

is this car still available? Can you send the VIN to me? Will you do N1,350,000? Please reply to bomowoleassociates@gmail.com.

Regards

whiteroses:
der both too razz but the lady is adorable

Razz as in how? That maybe they dont speak from the nose like you do? Or maybe they dont wear louboutins bought on credit? Really dont understand when people say somebody is razz. maybe you can explain what you mean.

what do u xpct? They have both qualified for the next round