₦airaland Forum

From a simple scratch on an acne 10 years ago, this started growing below my armpit as the wound healed, and it's gradually increasing in size.
Please help, what can I do

Clevagal:
Hmmm. Do you know how he treats his family behind closed doors? Do you know if the woman is a victim of domestic abuse?
There’s more to this than meet the eyes.

this man is the sole provider for the family, works very hard to put food on the table for the family, finance the kids education up to higher institution. The first kid just finished his nysc, while the second is now waiting for call up. All his hustles are for the family but still not rated by the wife. I have never seen a man so despised by his wife. And on top, she isn't a working class. All responsibilities are on the man

A neighbor of mine was involved in an Okada accident while coming back from work one evening, fortunately for him he survived the accident with injuries all over his body as the bike's brake failed while descending a slope. He nearly pass out at the scene of the accident but passersby came to his rescue and stabilize him, an Okada guy who stopped by to see what's happening recognized him as they live in the same neighborhood and offered to help rush him to the hospital. As the Okada guy was taking him to the hospital they met the man's wife and daughter on their way to church for a vigil. The wife and daughter showed no sympathy nor feeling to their breadwinner as the wife just told the Okada guy to take her injured husband to his bossom friend's place to stay for the night instead of her and daughter to follow the injured husband to hospital. The wife and daughter proceeded to church for vigil and leave their breadwinner in that state writhing in pain and wounds allover his body. The bikeman was surprised by the wife and daughter's attitude that he confessed if he hadn't known the family he would have doubted if the woman and daughter are truly the man's wife and child respectively. The Okada man took the man to a clinic, have him treated and drop him at the friend's place to stay for the night. The wife and daughter did not even come back from the vigil till the night of the following day. I interpret the wife's attitude to be: "I don't care if he dies"

My wife is into a lucrative business that involves buying and selling, I had advised her to be balancing her account at the close of business daily. She initially agreed and I helped her in doing the account stuff. As she's making a lot of money, she started hiding things from me, but I got to know how much she's making anyways as I have access to her bank accounts. (my email is linked to her accounts)
Then she started borrowing her siblings money to the extent that she borrowed her brother in law around a million naira to japa abroad which impacted negatively on her business as she started struggling to restock after sales, I noticed this but I feighned ignorance of it. So she started asking me to lend her money to cushion the effect. I am into buying and selling too and no much money to play around with, I agreed to be borrowing her the little I can that won't affect my own business much. So I give some of my customers her account number to pay for purchases they made from me, but I noticed my wife doesn't use to document some of the payments my customers make into her account. One day she asked me how much she's owing me, then I jokingly inflated the amount but surprisingly she didn't argue the amount. So I started inflating her indebtness to me and she always believe me.
Sometimes she will come home with lots sales cash stuffed into her bag
and asked me to help her arrange the cash and count. I will do as she asked but I will take from the cash sometimes between 20,000 and 30,000 and she won't notice any shortages.
Though anytime I need the money she lend from me, she will give me time and at the given time she will pay back but in few days she will start asking me to borrow her again.
Now after tallying the amount I have taken from her both in cash and the amount I inflated from my customers' transfers into her account, it's running into 800k. Though I planned to give her the 800k back at a later date to let her know the importance of taking account of her business, I have decided to change my mind because her brother in law has just paid her back the money she lend him to travel abroad.
If she had hearken to my advice and endeavor to taking stock of her business daily, she would have discovered the cash I have been pilfering from her and my misrepresentation of the money my customers send to her account.
And because of this I am keeping the cumulative 800k for myself as punishment for her act of disobedience and stupidity.

Good, I can't wait for February, is it the old wine in the old bottle, the new wine in the old bottle or the old wine in the new bottle. Let's have a free and fair election sha.it's between the youth and the establishment

Can I reactivate my bank account that has remained dormant for the past 15 years? I can't recollect the account number again, and has not been assigned a NUBAN number neither has it being linked by my BVN, it's only the account name that I can recollect, Can the account be reactivated?

rickleye:
You plan to throw her out is dumb paragraph .

Let me tell you some short experiences I decided not to.
1. Your wifey just trying to connect with a friend someone who knew her before the demands of life swallowed her up.
2. Talk to her and ask her how she would feel if you had a secret admirer or affair with someone ?
3. Be attentive to her needs and date her again. Make her feel young and loved.
4. Pray that she will not succumb to temptation.

thank you

kunle75:
Please do not throw her out.
My parents will always says that cutting the head off is not the antidote for headaches.
Sit her down and make her realize how badly hurting you are and get her committed to the marriage forward.
However, keep your eye open and be watchful too,also find ways of identifying what was missing, since you guys have been together for that long.
I will suggest you guys goes on lone vacation and have a heart to heart talk about it and let it go,if not you will end up taking some hasting decisions that would bite your ass later,good women are hard to find now and I suspect she would have been with you since when you both have nothing and now that God has blessed you please don't allow the devil to put asunder.

Your madam is missing something.

thank you

HomeTutorsPro:
The bolded is not a good decision.
The best decision is to throw yourself out!
For the records, I can bet Tinubu's left oesophagus that this story is another poorly cooked-up story.

this isn't a cooked up story, it's my story, and I shared it hot, anyway thanks still

efe21:
Your wife is lacking good sex and romance from you. When last did you surprise her or notice her sensually and sexually? When last did you take her out, just the two of you and tell her sincerely that she is beautiful and still rock your world? When last did you flirt with your wife and tell her sweet nothingness....? When last did you converse soulfully with your wife and how is your communication life with her like? Your wife is a woman and have needs and if your game was good, she would never had spent one minute with that former classmate of her. Pay more attention to your wife and love her more this period like as if you just met her. I am telling you to re-date your wife. Make her your best friend and you did be surprise how mutually she will reciprocate in love back to you. Don't ever lose your wife my brother over this. Give her a benefit of a doubt and love her like God will. You were surprised when she suddenly became cool with porn and even used toto in her chat with the classmate. The reason is simple, the said guy have worked on her love psychology and make her free with him to be able to express herself the way she like. So she felt free with him and safe too, and that prompt ease for her when communicating with him you understand. Thank God you pulled the plug early and not too late to undo everything by loving your wife more now and forgiving her genuinely making her feel truly that you have forgiven her and choose your marriage over everything. May God Almighty strengthen your union..... Amen.

thank you so much

FavouredNK:
Thinking of throwing her out is such a rash decision to make. You said it that she has never cheated on before and she owned up to her mistakes and apologized. Everyone makes mistake and thank God the man hasn't slept with her so pls forgive your wife and give her another chance, everyone deserves a second chance and I m sure your wife has learnt her lessons.

thanks

derolemode:
bokondogi
Sincerely you need to keep this woman. I know it's a marital contract but for the fact that she admitted to this mistake and showed remorse should let you give her a second chance. My brother, I had a very similar experience as you but my ex denied the whole thing even with glaring evidence even after we broke up she was still denying the whole incident

thanks

RZArecta:
listen to me carefully. Throwing her out will be a bad mistake from you. Your wife was just enchanted by an excitement which she hasn't experienced for a long time in the marriage unfortunately, it came through a devil instead of you the husband. I beg of you to forgive her even with a stern warning but sometimes pamper her with kinky stuff, presents, weekend getaways and text messages like you guys are dating all over again. Take her out on dates with that special dress you bought for her. God bless you

thanks

Hello Nairalanders, I will appreciate your comments and advice on this post

I have been married with 2 grown up kids for more than 2 and half decades, 2 months ago my wife got in contact with one of her secondary school classmate, someone she has lost contact with since they left school 3 decades ago.

So they started calling each other, though my wife told me about him and sometimes they talked on phone in my presence but later my wife will go to her room to talk with the guy, most times in the night.

This calls always excite my wife that I could hear her laughing and I begin to get jealous and I decided to get to know what they usually talk about.

They later moved to chatting on WhatsApp and will be doing call at night. I noticed my wife started making sure her phone isn't within my reach, making sure she didn't leave her phone carelessly. We both know each others phone password, One day I get access to her phone and I open her whatsapp. I noticed that my wife is flirting with the guy, the guy wil be refering to my wife as his wife but my wife usually won't respond to this,
They were exchanging pictures, and admiring each others pictures.

The guy was proffesing love to my wife but wiffy won't reciprocate to this advances.
Once a while I use to check wiffy's phone for any new development, and I find out wiffy use to send both money and airtime for data to the guy (my wife is into a lucrative business and money isn't her problem).

So one day a friend of mine send me a short porn video which I showed to my wife, she requested me to forward it to her, (I was surprised by this her request because she usually frown at porn), I sent it to her on her Facebook messenger instantly, but I was suspicious of what she wanted to do with the porn video. 2 days later she called me that she wanted to send the video to a female friend of her on WhatsApp but she didn't know how to forward the video from messenger platform to whatsapp.

I now forwarded the porn video to her on WhatsApp because I was curious what she wanted to do with the porn video, lol and behold my wife forwarded the video to this guy with a vulgar comment. I can't imagine my wife using the word 'toto', I have never heard this word from her
I now find out that this guy has earlier sent to my wife a porn video which she later deleted. I was shocked by these discoveries. My wife that frowns at obscene words is now using one in a chat with a man and even exchanging porn with him.

Even some gift items I kept in the house, I discovered my wife gifted them to this guy.
After these discoveries, I confront my wife with the evidence but she find it hard to deny and she said that she didn't know what she was doing with the guy was wrong that she didn't know the implications,
She told me she did not have any sexual contact with the guy and she swear about this, but I find it hard to believe, though I didn't find any evidence of this in their chats,
I am heart broken, this is a woman I trust so much,
Though she begged me and told me she won't have contact with the guy again, but I find it hard to believe.

I plan to throw her out. Is this the best decision?